Should we just stay and eat the food? (The Story of Two Shower Crashers)

"You have arrived," Shulamith's GPS announced. We stared at a mound of dirt and a couple houses still under construction, nothing remotely resembling a place where a baby shower might be. "Let me make sure I put in the right address," she said. "Wait, no, I'm one number off."

She quickly put in the correct address, and her phone told her we were just one mile away. Yayyy! We won't be too late. Off we went. 

Following the confident voice of the GPS lady, we weaved in and out of blocks, through various streets and cul-de-sacs until finally arriving at our destination. There was no house number visible, but tons of cars were parked nearby, including one with a woman inside and her car door open. Shulamith jumped out and walked over to her. "Are you going to the baby shower, and is that the right place?" she asked pointing to the house with the cars all around. "Yes!" the woman replied. "I'm just waiting for my daughter."

Grateful to have found it, we walked up to the door, on which a sign was posted: "Come on in!" so we opened the door and walked inside. There were so many ladies there, at least 30, all gathered in small groups happily chatting. We looked around and didn't see Amy, but we assumed she was hidden somewhere inside one of those groups of friends, or possibly she stepped aside to the restroom. I placed our gift on the gift table, and we continued to wait.

After several minutes standing alone, recognizing no one and not seeing Amy anywhere, Shulamith whispered, "Do you think we're at the right place?"

"Yes?" I answered.

"But where is Amy? Where is her mom? Where is Jessie?"

We knew we wouldn't be acquainted with most of the people attending, but those three at least should be there. 

They weren't. 

Finally, I went back to the gift table to look at the tags on the gifts. Yikes!! Every gift but ours had the name "Brynn" on it. 

Barely able to contain ourselves from breaking out into uncomfortable and inappropriate laughter, we retrieved our gift, awkwardly waived to the room, and announced, "We went to the wrong shower." We quickly left to continue our search for the correct house, but not without remarking to each other that we should have at least stayed long enough to sample the food.

A few houses down, we discovered another home with a few cars around. "Could this be it?" we wondered.

Success!

We walked in and were immediately greeted by a very pregnant Amy, glowing with her natural beauty and grace pouring over and around her. Seated behind her was her sweet mom, whom I hadn't seen in 18 years since we left Mt. Vernon in 2004. A handful of other former Mt. Vernon folks were also there; all roads lead to Utah, I guess. It was a delightful time reliving memories and catching up on nearly two decades of life. Kids have grown up. Spouses have been added. New babies have been born. We haven't changed in the least. Thank goodness.

Amy opened lovely gifts, including a Beaded Blessed bracelet, for which we all selected two beads to bless Amy with everything good as she enters into motherhood. Shulamith and I share our joy and love for Amy, who, growing up, was the closest thing to a sister Shulamith ever had. This yearned for and long awaited baby girl is a miracle for sure and an answer to many prayers. 

I can't wait to meet her one day.

Do you like surprises?

It's not the easiest question to answer. For me, it definitely depends on the circumstances. I LOVE surprises on Christmas. Unlike many moms, I never let my kids know what their gifts are ahead of time. If I think they even suspect, I get them something else. Christmas is about surprises. But what about surprise parties? Like for birthdays? 

That's very different. I don't think anyone has ever thrown me a surprise birthday party, and let me be clear: That is just fine. The last thing I'd want is to arrive somewhere to find a bunch of my friends, when I didn't know they were coming. I mean just imagine me in my "sub-casual" look: pajama bottoms, sweatshirt, stringy hair, no makeup. Now imagine this "me" walking into a surprise birthday party with a bunch of people. Terrifying, I tell you.

As surprise parties go, you really need to know the person well and understand his or her level of comfort with being blindsided. For that reason, I've thrown surprise birthday parties for only two of my kids: Shulamith and Eli. Luke and Isaiah would never want a surprise party. They don't even like un-surprise parties, particularly. Isaiah humors me and lets me bake him a cake on his birthday, gather the family, give him a present, and sing; but given the choice, I'm pretty sure he'd pass on even that much attention.

Oh my goodness! It just occurred to me that I have no idea how Seth would feel about a surprise party. Hmmm? My guess is he'd be okay with it? But it's not something he'd truly appreciate? I've never thrown him a surprise party, and he still loves me very much, so I guess that's okay.

When Shulamith turned 14, I threw her a surprise birthday party. I was 8 months' pregnant with Seth, but I managed to pull off a successful surprise that included a dozen teenage girls, and miraculously, Shulamith never found out about it. We all gathered at Red Robin in Burlington, WA, and the girls helped me decorate. Decorating is surely not my strength, so I was grateful they were there. (Hi, Tia! Hi, Lynnsey!) At the appointed time, my mom arrived with Shulamith. She walked in and noticed me first. "Mom? What are you doing here?" Then she looked up and saw all her friends seated around a big oblong table, just as they shouted "Surprise!" It was perfect. She opened so many nice gifts, and we all dined on burgers and fries, tons of ice cream, cake and candy. I think she was so happy.

Seven years later, as Eli approached age 14, I asked Shulamith if she thought he would like a similar event. "Oh, he definitely would. I loved mine!" This time around it was less formal, mostly because I didn't know his friends nearly as well as I knew Shulamith's. His best friend Jonah helped me know whom to invite, and a bunch of guys showed up at a pizza place in Billings, MT. I don't remember a lot about what happened after that, other than lots of pizza eating, soda drinking, and teenage boy humor. But I think Eli liked it.

Last weekend, in celebration of Eli's 29th birthday, Amanda threw him a yet another surprise party. She even managed to find decorations themed with classic horror film villains. Eli, possibly the gentlest, kindest soul I've ever known, is obsessed with horror flicks, the gorier the better. I took Eli out for some shaved ice custard, while Amanda decorated their house with scary pictures hanging from the ceiling, and everyone arrived. It was a small gathering, just our family plus Amanda's brother and his family, but they all hid with the lights low, and jumped out with a hearty  "Surprise!" as we walked in the door. Another success! I don't think Eli had any idea. He got several fun presents: tickets to the upcoming Ice Nine Kills concert, Lego, Stance socks, and lots of good wishes, but he says the best present is this girl right here:

Happy birthday, Eli! We all love you so much.

Let the celebrating begin!

"I'd like to report that I am officially on spring break, a whole nine minutes early. Let the celebrating begin!"

This was my text on our family group thread Saturday, when I released my afternoon class at 3:41 p.m., rather than 3:50. That's how badly I needed spring break; I couldn't even wait another nine minutes. It isn't that this semester is especially bad; I like my classes and my students mostly. As is often the case when we feel overwhelmed, too many circumstances (any one of which, by itself, wouldn't be troublesome), coexisting simultaneously, have made it a challenging eight weeks. 

First, neither my students nor I are accustomed to being in the classroom quite so much. This is the first semester since spring 2020 that I've been in person for all my classes. Even this past fall, I had one online class and one livestream broadcast. I'm a wimp, so 15 hours a week of in-person teaching feels like a lot. And my students? Yeah, they aren't used to it either. Since COVID, they seem to think attendance is optional. They also kind of expect that I won't require them to meet any deadlines, because we relaxed our policies so much during the past two years.

For example, one student asked to meet with me last week, so I could help him "figure out how to do better in the class." I had no idea who he was when he emailed me because I had only seen him twice in eight weeks. Our conversation went like this:

Him: Sorry I haven't been coming to class.

Me: Is there some problem I should know about?

Him: Well, it's just that 7:00 a.m. is so early! I just can't come that early. I stay up late doing other things, and if I get up in time to be in class at 7:00, I won't get nearly enough sleep.

Me: But you signed up for a 7:00 a.m. class, so...

Him: I know, but it's just too early.

Me: Okay, let's look at your grades. It looks like you have 49% currently, and you haven't completed any of the weekly reading responses.

Him: I know. I really don't like reading textbooks, especially English textbooks. They just go on and on and on, blah, blah, blah, and it's so boring. I can't read them.

Are you beginning to understand why I needed spring break? And just to be clear, I don't love 7:00 a.m. classes either, especially way down at UVU in Orem! I'm definitely a morning person, but what I like to do in the mornings is SLEEP. So yeah, when my alarm sounds at 5:45 a.m. every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I go through every stage of the grieving process. You can be sure I won't be setting an alarm this week (other than Sunday, when we have the stupid 9:00 church block). 

I also don't love teaching all day Saturday. I have an 8:30-11:50 a.m. class on the SLCC Redwood campus and a 1:00-3:50 p.m. class on the Jordan campus. Saturday students tend to be pretty cool, and this time is no exception. Still, I'm in class the entire day. Not my favorite.

In addition, I desperately need to deep clean my house. I'm struggling (and failing) even to keep up with the daily maintenance and regular weekly cleaning tasks; I've had no time for any of the more intense projects. That's for sure happening this week. Exciting? Nope. But what choice do I have?

Finally, this week Imma wear pajamas all day, every day, and enjoy not going anywhere. If I decide to get dressed and go out, it will be because I choose to, not because I have to.

I can't remember a semester when I was this excited for spring break; I really need it this time around.

Let the celebrating begin!

Girls' Night, Indeed!

"You know this was all my idea," Kennedy reminded us as we wandered through Harmon's to find cotton candy bites, frosted sugar cookies, chocolate Twinkies, and Reese's peanut butter cups, all for girls' night. 

"Yes, Kennedy, this was all you."

For many years, Shulamith and I were the only girls in our family. I have one brother, and Shulamith has four, but neither of us has a sister. Maybe that's the reason we're best friends; we lived in a house full of guys for so long, we had to stick together. As much as we love all those guys, through the years, we often talked about how fun it might be to have more girls.

And voila! Now we do. Luke has a daughter who lives with him in Maryland, so we don't see her often, but right here in Bluffdale/Herriman, we are now a group of, wait for it.......

FIVE GIRLS! 

Can you even believe that? I barely can. Our awesome group now includes Shulamith and me; her daughter, Kennedy; Eli's wife Amanda; and their daughter, Jane. 

Recently, Kennedy was feeling the need for a mental health break. Like us, Kennedy has no sisters (at least not so far). With one older brother and one younger, occasionally she just needs some girl time. No worries, Kennedy: We got you!

Last night, the five of us gathered at Amanda's house. Kennedy planned the activities, which included nails, games, and TV. Amanda has a setup to do gel polish, and Kennedy chose this sparkly color:

                                                  

 

Jane was quite interested in all this and really, really wanted her nails done too, but Jane likes to suck on her cute fingers, so we had to tell her no. She was kinda mad that she couldn't have pretty nails like Kennedy (see photo below):

But she felt better soon, once Kennedy let her be on her team for Pictionary. Shulamith and I won, of course, but we would never boast about our awesome Pictionary talent. 

Girls' night was an overwhelming success, as evidenced by Kennedy's response when her mom asked her:

"How does it feel to have an evening away from both brothers?"

With wide eyes and the happiest grin, she declared:

"A-ma-zing!"

Simple Joy

Shulamith and I often comment that we are happy with our boring lives. I think what we mean is that we're grateful for what we have, and we don't need constant drama or excitement in order to be content. The regular routine is enough. Simplicity. I'm in the middle of a book called "Becoming Mrs. Lewis," told as an autobiography (though it isn't) of Joy Davidman, wife of the renowned author, poet, and theologian, C.S. Lewis. The author, Patti Callahan, spent hours interviewing Joy's sons, along with others with connections to Joy and Jack, in order to reveal a genuine and honest account of their journey and unexpected love story. And it shows. I am enchanted by the art of this author's rhetoric. Beauty defined.  

Throughout the narrative, we get hints of Joy's health issues, but I don't think we'll learn the details until late in the book. I know she died of cancer, and no, I should not be reading this! I avoid most books, movies, and TV shows that include characters with serious diseases, especially cancer, because they trigger my anxiety disorder into the stratosphere. 

But I must finish this book. Regardless of what happens. I simply must. 

As I read Joy's story, I'm reminded of the simple blessing of good health. Ironically, despite my irrational but often constant fear of illness, I am possibly the healthiest person I know. I'm hardly ever sick, which is why my recent experience with COVID rocked my world, both physically and mentally. Today is Day 28 since the first day I experienced symptoms and tested positive. I don't want to jinx it, but yesterday was the first day I felt completely normal. I felt upwards of 95% better all last week, but not until yesterday was I entirely symptom free. It was a process lengthier than I ever imagined! Omicron is no joke.

On MLK Day, one day before my COVID symptoms began, I had lunch with three of the coolest people I know: Isaiah, Eli, and Seth. We ate yummy Indian food, and I watched the three of them chill together; laugh at private jokes; and discuss video games and Japanese Anime. It was a lovely time, right up until the following day when I got sick and was frantic that I had unintentionally exposed all three of them to COVID, and that Eli would go home and expose Amanda and their 3-month-old baby! I was terrified. But grace abounds, sometimes when we least expect it; none of them got COVID, and neither did Gerald or even Shulamith. 

Two weeks later, when I was over quarantine and feeling somewhat better, we went to lunch again, this time minus Eli, who had to work. We met Shulamith on her lunch break at Penny Ann's for our favorite breakfast food, and once again, enjoyed laughter and nonstop conversation as everyone caught up with each other's life. Then Shulamith's 4-year-old son Theodore wanted to play Sorry. Though it's possibly the most tedious game ever created, Isaiah and Seth both volunteered to play, evidence of how much they love Theodore. Isaiah even taught him to play Uno after they finished Sorry. Isaiah won both games. He doesn't believe in letting little kids win, even adorable ones like Theodore. True to his sweet nature, Theodore handled defeat with grace.

As I watched the three of them, I thought about Joy. Her life in New York was chaos filled. All she yearned for was the simplicity of a calm, peaceful existence. That peace came in London, and eventually Oxford. With Jack. Some might call their days together boring, but my guess is, like Shulamith and me, they were just fine with that. Unlike Shulamith and me, they were both brilliant intellects, and their work has memorialized their lives. Yes, Jack's writing is much better known, but take a second and read some of the poetry of Joy Davidman. 

You will thank me.

Rona Round II

I guess January is the month for COVID.

A year ago, I woke up one morning and couldn't taste my Diet Coke. Seth had tested positive for the coronavirus, and despite our vigilant attempts to keep him quarantined in his bedroom, Gerald and I both contracted it as well. As it turned out, loss of taste and smell was my only symptom. I was never sick.

Here we are one year later, still dealing with this stupid virus and all its variants, trying to find some peace and normalcy in life while remaining safe and responsible, but failing much of the time. Hero scientists worked diligently to create an effective vaccine, and I received two doses of it early last year, along with a booster this past fall. So grateful!

Even so, at this moment, I sit here in bed, dealing with Rona Round II, most likely the notorious Omicron variant. Not sure where I picked it up this time; best guess is it came from one of my 100 new students, whom I met last week on two different college campuses, as we are now back in the classroom full time, with fewer restrictions, even though our case count is higher than ever.

The irony is that last year, I was unvaccinated, so I was far more frightened, even though I felt perfectly healthy. This time, I am fully vaccinated, so I'm not nearly as scared as I was then, but I am definitely sick this time. Meine Gute! Imagine the worst cold you've ever had, combined with a constant headache and sinus pressure, cough, and body aches. Everywhere hurts! Add to that the crazy fatigue, and you pretty much have it.

Other than feeling like crap, the most challenging part of quarantine for me is...well...quarantine. I'm holed up here in my bedroom, attempting to keep everyone else in the house safe. So far, it's working, but this is just way too much alone time for a polarized extrovert like me. I've been reading, sleeping, binging shows, all good stuff. Still, the highlight of my days are "social distanced" walks with Shulamith, where I actually get out of this house; text conversations with friends; and special deliveries!

What are those, you ask? Last night, a nice guy from our ward dropped off homemade chocolate chip cookies on my doorstep. He didn't even know I had COVID. He was just thanking me for defending him against a bully who was attacking him on our neighborhood Facebook page. Well, of course. Bullying has no place anywhere. Dude, come register for my rhetoric class where you will learn about appropriate tone in writing.

Next, Shulamith and kids dropped by a fresh fountain Diet Coke just as I woke up from my second nap of the day. So good. Then, literally the second I took the last sip, Amanda texted me to come downstairs and open the door. She and Eli brought me a brand new one, along with a slice of Amanda's birthday cake from yesterday. Yes, I missed her entire birthday. Grrrr! I was able to wave at Jane through the closed car windows; she's definitely made monumental developmental gains since I saw her four days ago. She'll likely be walking and talking before I see her again.

Rona Round II. I guess January is the month for COVID.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Gown

It began as a wedding gown. I bought it at a store in Richland, Washington. I tried on many dresses that day, but when I put on this one, it was game over. It was exactly what I was looking for. The downside to wedding dresses is we pay so much money for them, only to wear them just one day. Granted, it's an important day, but still. Regardless, I bought the dress of my dreams and wore it happily on my wedding day. Then I had it professionally cleaned and sealed, just in case a future bride might want to borrow it. 

Twenty-seven years later, one did. Shulamith had the sleeves altered to a more contemporary style, ditched the hat in favor of some white flowers in her hair, and happily wore the gown at her own wedding. Wanting to preserve the now twice-worn wedding gown, we asked my mom use its satin fabric and lace to sew baby blessing outfits. That she did, a little suit for baby boys and an elegant gown for baby girls. 

Shulamith's daughter, Kennedy, was the first to wear the gown, seven years ago on her blessing day. Then, just a week ago, Eli's daughter, Jane, wore it for her blessing. It was a joyous occasion. Eli gave Jane the most beautiful blessing, and Gerald, Seth, and Shulamith's husband Matt all participated. I hosted a light luncheon afterward for a few friends to end a perfect day.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Gown now has four members:

Terrianne Webster

Shulamith Webster

Kennedy Webster-Monson

Jane Eliza Webster