I can't skip September + mental overload + I never wanted to buy a new car!

Okay, this blog is in its 18th year and has nearly 1,000 posts, and never in all those years have I skipped an entire month. In the early years, I posted at least once a week. As time went by and I started working more, the number of posts decreased, and two per month became the norm. 

But never...

ever...

have I skipped an entire month. 

Until it nearly happened. 

My last post was August 25th. I might have missed September entirely. That may not matter to you (or to anyone?), but to this OCD girl, well let's just say it's very good that I checked today's date and the date of my last post. It might have been the end of itslegs!

So here we are, just hours away from my favorite month of the year! My birthday, fall weather, standard time, the start of the holiday season....October really is the best month! Maybe that vibe will help my mental overload? What do you think? Tell me it's possible.

When I told my friend and former colleague, Linda, that I'm teaching nine classes this semester, she replied, "That's insane!" Let me just tell you, she is correct. I have so, so many papers, and I spend hours and hours driving all over the place, way east up to the U. of Utah, down south to UVU, and west to the Jordan campus of SLCC. And the problem is, when I'm driving all those hours, I can't grade papers!!!

But if that's not enough, let's add in some car trouble. Just for funsies. My beloved minivan is no longer so beloved. Now it's just nostalgic. I'm still not totally sure what happened to it, something about a failed fuel injector posing as a bad ignition coil? Oh, I don't know. I just know that after four visits to two different repair shops (all the while inconveniencing Eli and Amanda, who so graciously lent me their second car), I was done. I can't go even one day without transportation (see paragraph above). I need a car that works. End of story.

But let's be clear. I do not like cars. I never remember what they look like. I have no idea what brand they are or what model or even what color. Sometimes I get into cars that aren't even mine, cuz they look similar. Then, realizing my mistake and terrified I'll be arrested for auto theft, I quickly jump out and run!

So the very last thing I wanted to do a week ago when I had 5 million papers to grade is go car shopping. Nevertheless, that's what Shulamith and I did. And without nearly enough time or thought, I bought a Toyota BZ4X, fully EV, small SUV. How impressed are you now? Look at me, knowing the brand and model. Uh, I'm struggling with the color. Just a sec....

Looks like its sort of gray? Or silver? People keep asking me if I love it. Nope. It's fine. It drives. I don't have to pump gas. I do  have to keep it charged, which is a learning curve for sure. Sunday I was up in Sandy and had to rely on the kindest young man, who happened to come along just when I needed help figuring out how to use a public charging tower. I had forgotten to plug in the car the night before. Mostly, I miss my minivan. I am a minivan mom down to my bones. Just didn't feel like paying $50,000 to buy one.

Anyway, here's the new car:

Happy September blog post. Welcome lovely October! Pray for my sanity to get through another week and a half until fall break. (To my English teacher friends: among other papers, I have 60 annotated bibliographies, so pray extra hard.)

Between car trouble, ongoing HOA issues, and the start of an insane semester, anxiety is off the charts!

 ....so let's look at some funny pictures. And laugh. Really, though. Isn't laughter always so good for us?

My minivan has 75,000 miles, and I've never put any money into it, beyond oil changes and new brakes a couple months ago. So when my "check engine" light came on last week, I wasn't super surprised. I figured a tune-up was likely needed. I wasn't wrong, but the process to get there was long and complicated, and the thing is, I am not someone who can be without transportation, even for just a day or two. My fall schedule is bananas; I drive to three different campuses several times each week (more on that later). Eli and Amanda have been so kind to lend me a car, but I really hate doing that because it leaves them with only their minivan to share. Not to mention the fact that I had to add the car's license plate to my parking permits at all three schools, and of course they wanted to know the year, make, model, and color of the car. I knew none of those things; I literally had to get out of the car to see what color it is, when I was parked down at UCU, editing my permit. I had to text Shulamith to get all that other info. She knew, because this used to be Matt's car before they sold it to Eli and Amanda. Anyway, blah.

I've worried relentlessly every time I drive it that I will get in a wreck and total it, leaving Eli and Amanda without a second car. Let's face it; I am way overdue for a wreck. Anyway, my car is supposed to be ready tomorrow morning. They promised. We're gonna pray they keep that promise. Amanda needs their car back to take Jane to preschool by 12:45 p.m.

Then, I continue to deal with this dang HOA situation. It will be two years in January that I first learned of the issue, and here we still are, no closer to resolution than we ever were. Not sure what my next steps are, but whatever they are, I will surely take them soon, because I need to sleep at night. 

And fall semester is upon us! Teaching as an adjunct professor at three institutions is wonderful in many ways but challenging in many others. Each one of these schools operates as if it were my only job. Each semester, when they request availability for the next semester, they assume I'm not waiting for offers from any other schools. But I almost always am. Sadly, the school that pays the highest (by a lot!!) is the U. of Utah, but they are always last each semester to come in with an offer. Then have to consider their graduate assistants first and make sure they have classes to teach as part of their programs. Even after accepting offers from all the schools, I have to wait and see if all those classes will actually make. Ten students is the magic number at all three schools. And students just love to wait to register until the week before the semester begins.

So this time, I kinda under-estimated. Okay, a lot under-estimated. Enrollment was very low in three of the nine classes I was offered, and I really thought those three would not make. Six is a reasonable number to teach, difficult, but manageable. I felt pretty confident. Guess what? All nine classes filled, three at each school. All nine of them! I may die.

So here's the thing. Laughter is so good for anxiety. So is crying, actually, and I believe strongly in doing both, but today, let's laugh. The story is that occasionally, through the last 17 years, Shulamith and I have asked Matt to take a picture of us. The key here is "a" picture. One. But instead, Matt likes to take a bunch of pictures, one after the other, before we are even ready. Neither of us takes very good candid pics. We need to pose and smile. So usually I wind up deleting a zillion pictures, and keeping only the one that turns out (assuming one does, which isn't always the case). 

So a few weeks ago, we were on this Mexican cruise. One evening, we were out on the deck, and we asked Matt to take our picture. As usual, he starting taking pictures before we were even close to ready. And even the last one, for which we actually had time to pose and smile, didn't turn out because my eyes were closed!

Between car trouble, ongoing HOA issues, and the start of an insane semester, anxiety is off the charts!

 ....so let's look at some funny pictures! And laugh. 

Final vacation of summer; cruising on down to Mexico!

"So much fun last week, and I want a 'do-over'!" 

Matt's mom, Dawn, texted this to Shulamith and me Friday morning, talking about the week-long cruise several of us took last week to three Mexican cities: Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallarta. We can't have a "do over" just yet, but maybe one day! For now, memories in a blog post will have to do. 

This year, Dawn and Todd joined us, along with Seth's girlfriend, Kylee. We missed Eli, Amanda, and Jane terribly, but Amanda is due to have her baby in just a couple months and Eli is up to his eyeballs in grad school (along with his regular full-time job), so the timing did not align for them. I would say we missed Isaiah, but I don't think he'd ever do a cruise. He travels everywhere for his job, but cruisin' is not his style. Not sure if Gerald or Luke would like it either? 

The 10 of us!

Me? I enjoy cruises, but I like traveling in other modes too. Mostly, I just love to experience new places, people, language and culture. This was Kylee's first time standing on foreign soil, and I think she loved it too!

Here they are relaxing by the beach in Mazatlan

...and playing Jenga in the hotel in L.A. before our flight

...and lounging with me on the ship's deck!

Okay, my blog = my personal favorites:

1. Meal - Shrimp tacos in Cabo. Hands down the best tacos I've ever eaten. With each bite, I sat in amazement that anything could taste that good; I'm still dreaming about those tacos. Our time in Cabo was short, so while Seth, Kylee, and I feasted on that delicious meal, others were in the ocean.

The Webster-Monsons livin' their best ocean lives!

2. Show - Ice skating performance. All the skaters were talented, but one guy used to compete on the Russian Olympic team, and that explains everything. Wow! The rink was smaller than Olympic size, providing less room for a skater to gain the speed needed to perform challenging jumps, but this guy still managed to land a triple lutz, a triple salchow, and a double axel. Impressive!

3. Port - Mazatlan. We had no plans ahead of time, so when we arrived, Shulamith talked to one of many locals offering to take us places. "Come to my restaurant right on the beach. Great food, lounge chairs, hammocks, all for you to enjoy if you eat there," he urged. Without hesitation, Shulamith replied, "Sounds good!" We walked a short distance to be picked up by a "taxi" (truck, with benches on both sides of the bed) and taken to exactly what the guy described. It was the loveliest, most relaxing day.

4. Ship activity - Massage. This was the first time I treated myself to a massage on a cruise ship, and well, now it will need to be Every. Single. Time. Thanks, Dawn. This is all your fault. :-)

5. 2nd place ship activity - Ice skating. I was a figure skater as a kid, so when anyone says ice skating, I'm in! Just Shulamith, Kennedy and I skated, with others cheering us on from the sidelines. You can see Kennedy in the pink hoodie in the background. So fun and all the nostalgia for me.

6. 3rd place ship activity - The nightly dinners in the formal dining room. The food is meh (it's hard to feed 4,000 people every night), but the service is spectacular, and it's so fun to gather each evening and talk about our day.

7. 4th place ship activity - The gym. Yep, when you're kinda addicted to working out, it's pretty convenient to have a gym right there on the ship. Shulamith and I got up each morning before anyone else, filled our Diet Coke cups, and headed up to the gym on floor 12. (Okay, Matt was already up and outside doing hundreds of pushups on the deck, but other than him, everyone else was still asleep.) The gym was super crowded the first day, but attendance decreased daily, which was great for us! We missed Orange Theory, but this was still good.

8. Favorite non-ship activity - Snorkeling in Puerto Vallarta. Kylee was feeling seasick this day (very sad!), but the rest of us went snorkeling. Everyone looks exactly the same in a snorkeling mask, so I lost everyone pretty quickly, but I was super grateful to have Seth with me the whole time, and we had so much fun watching the fish in the clear, blue water below us.

It's been a summer of travel, which is exactly the way I like it! It began in May with the fulfillment of a 3-decade dream to go to Germany Then in June, several of us drove over to Oregon to visit my family. Rounding out summer was this cruise to Mexico. As I write, I am once again in Portland for the weekend, helping my brother and his kids transition my mom out of rehab and back home, but here's one last memory of the cruise:

 

 

What a phobia is. And what it isn't. Meet "Peanut Butter Cookie"!

 

Okay, that's not quite her real name. At least not yet. I can explain. Give me a minute.

Shulamith's son, Theodore, turned 9 a week ago. As his birthday approached, his cousin also had a birthday. And would you like to know what the cousin's birthday present was? 

A python.

Yep, really.

How do you think Theodore felt about that? Well it quickly became the only present he wanted. To be clear; Shulamith does not share my phobia of such creatures, no, but she's not especially fond of them either, and no, she would not have one live in her house.

(Oh the phobia. Yes. Here is some background, if you'd like to know about it.)

I have a phobia. An entirely irrational but intense fear. Of snakes. Even looking at the word right there triggers a physical response. That's the thing about phobias; they're that irrational. I remember trying to read the Harry Potter series. I told myself, "You can read these books! There are no pictures. Just black text on white pages." I tried. Really, I did. But around 80 pages in, I was literally shaking. This Rowling lady is a real good writer. I don't typically visualize scenes when I read. I'm the least visual, most auditory, person you know. That's how good of a writer she is. Those images.....eeeek!

I had to stop. I suspect I'm one of the only folks around who hasn't read any of the Harry Potter books or seen any of the movies. I don't know the plot lines or any of the references. It's kinda sad.

Back to Theodore. No, they were not gonna get him a snake. Shulamith said "absolutely not," and while my phobia is not the main reason for that, it would be challenging. We live around the corner from each other, about 100 steps apart, and I would never be able to enter her house again. When we're not traveling together, we take care of each other's dog. Wouldn't be able to do that either. It would be inconvenient, to say the least.

But what to get Theodore instead?

A couple weeks before his birthday, he had the chance to care for a friend's crested gecko. And he fell in love. So much so that he actually cried when it was time to give it back. He's tenderhearted that way. 

So after considerable discussion, Theodore's parents decided that a crested gecko was the perfect birthday gift. I braved up and accompanied Shulamith to a store with a huge sign out front: "REPTILES." Can you even believe I did this? She instructed me to keep my eyes down and to go left once inside. Avoid the right side of the store entirely. We were in there way too long, as the store owner meticulously assembled the enclosure that would be the gecko's home, carefully placing each tree branch, one by one. Gosh it took a long time, and no one was happier to be out of that stupid store than me. 

But I got to keep the tiny, 2-month old gecko at my house that night, so it would be a full-on surprise to Theodore on his birthday the following day. And I kinda got attached to it.

Surprisingly, several people have asked me if I'm afraid of it. Uh, no, My phobia is not of geckos. It's just not. I think sometimes people assume a phobia like mine means that you're squeamish about creeping things. Nope. I'm not squeamish. I'm the go-to person when a cute spider finds its way into the house and others are screaming and jumping. I think insects are actually very cool. But lots of people are squeamish about spiders and bugs and creeping things. It's natural to feel that way. It's not a phobia.

A phobia is different. It's not natural. It's purely irrational. It's why I can't even look at pictures of snakes, or handle toy ones. My kids couldn't even have the Beanie Baby variety because my reaction was so intense. Garden hoses are even a struggle. Amanda suggested that the reason people assume I'd be scared of geckos is because they are reptiles, just like those long, awful creatures with no arms or legs. But as I told Amanda, humans and cows are both mammals, but no, they're not the same.

And a cute little baby gecko?! Like "Peanut Butter Cookie"!? She's freakin' adorable. You should see her grippy little fingers and toes. And eyelashes!

Well, needless to say Theodore was delighted. Said it was his best birthday ever! As for the little baby's name, he started out calling her "Peanut." Cute name. But he wasn't 100% sure. Then he thought he might switch and call her "Cookie" instead. So I decided "Peanut Butter Cookie" was perfect! Don't you agree? While Theodore and his family were camping this past weekend, I got to go hang out with the little baby each day, and I called her "Peanut Butter Cookie." She seemed to like it. 

We'll see what Theodore decides.

"You're the one with the phobia," and other Halfway Christmas events!

Charlie Brown Christmas Tree with all the Halfway Christmas Gifts!

Last Sunday evening, I was loading the dishwasher and wiping down counters, as everyone made their way to the door, headed home after our annual Halfway Christmas celebration. I heard my phone alert a text message from Shulamith, who had left just a couple minutes earlier. When I clicked on the message, the first thing I noticed was the all CAPS font:

DO NOT GO OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. 

STAY INSIDE YOUR HOUSE.

DON'T EVEN OPEN THE DOOR.

It took not even a hot second for my brain to compute what was happening. Outside my house, at that very moment, was my worst phobia: one of those long creatures with no arms or legs. You see, I have what is not-so-commonly known as ophidiophobia. Be careful if you look it up. Cuz there might be a picture of one! You can read more about my lifelong journey with this phobia here, or here.

Suffice it to say that knowing one of those things was right outside my house was terrifying. What if I had gone outside first? What then?? My heart is racing just imagining it. Shulamith informed me that this "pet" belongs to a girl in the neighborhood, who lives on my street! Well great. Apparently, she likes to take it out for "walks" in the evening, when it begins to cool down but isn't too cold (because these reptilian creatures can't seem to regulate their own body temperatures). Notes to self: #1 Do not leave your house in the early evening. #2 Possibly add a second phobia to your repertoire: agoraphobia! 

And if that wasn't enough, just two days ago, again in the early evening, I was getting ready to go to Eli and Amanda's house, when Shulamith sends me another frantic message:

"Other random people walking a massive sna** up your street. They were by the pool, but maybe wait a minute. I don't know which way they were going."

Are you freakin' kidding me???? Two in the same week?!

What was I to do? I was scared (to the point or panic) to go outside, but I needed to take Seth's dog out to go to the bathroom before going to Eli's. Was that thing still out there?! After much deliberation, I opted to take Waffles outside in our tiny, fully-fenced backyard area and try to convince him to go to the bathroom there. He was quite confused; we always go out front and walk around the neighborhood, but after about 20 minutes, he finally complied.

In my whole life, I had never met anyone else with this phobia, at least not as severe as mine. My brother has it, but not nearly this severe. However, I've recently learned that  a kindergarten teacher on Shulamith's team has it, AND a girl in our neighborhood book group does also! Soulmates. I don't use people's names in this very public blog unless I know them well or have their permission, so I won't say the name of the girl in our book group, but if you happen to read this, my fellow ophidiophobe, be aware. Keep watch on your surroundings, especially if you're outside in the early evening. Two of these creatures live in our midst, so awareness is crucial. 

I should add that I have nothing against the owners of these pets. They are well within their legal rights to keep these things and even take them outside for "walks." As Shulamith kindly pointed out: "You are the one with the phobia." Yes, indeed I am.

Oh yeah. Halfway Christmas. It happened. It was low-key. We ate turkey and stuffing. And ice cream. And opened one present each. Here are some pics:

Seth forgot to wear his Christmas jammies!

Swen with his new balance ball

Kennedy opening her new nail kit

Theodore with his new Iron Beads kit

Jane with her new stuffy

Didn't get a whole group shot, but here are a few of us.

Merry Halfway Christmas to all! 

(And may you never encounter a long reptile creature out for a walk in your neighborhood. Because I love all of you and wouldn't want you to die.)

Blog worthy, I'd say!

"Blog worthy, I'd say," Tom texted on a group thread that includes his three lovely daughters and me.

"You know it!" I replied. Cuz if it's not on the blog, did it even happen?

And here I am, back home, trying to capture in words the actual bliss of a day at the ocean with Leslie, Carley, and Katie; Leslie's husband and kids; Shulamith and her kids; and Eli, Amanda, and Jane. Well let me just show you a picture to demonstrate:

Left to right: Swen, Shulamith, me, Leslie, Sydney, Katie, Carley, Silas, Eli, Amanda

Front row: Theodore, Kennedy, Hudson, Jane

Yeah, it was that good. As I always do when I get to go home to Oregon, I ordered rain for the whole time we were there. This was super annoying to Shulamith, who prefers sunshine at the beach. Like she gets genuinely irritated that I want rain, as if I control the weather. Turns out, she got her wish. It rained beautifully our first day in Oregon (What a perfect storm!), when we visited my mom in rehab (recovering from a broken femur) and ate a relaxing, delicious dinner at Tom's house. But two days later, our only full day in Seaside, the clouds disappeared and the sun shone bright. Just for Shulamith!

She and her kids jumped the waves for hours, along with Eli and Jane. I sat comfortably in a lawn chair on the beach, where I got not one single gain of sand anywhere near my feet or between my toes. Victory. AND, I got to visit with my three adorable nieces. Katie arrived first thing that morning, so I met up with her early and walked the streets of Seaside. So fun! Leslie and Carley were 30 minutes from Leslie's house in Gig Harbor, WA when their "check engine" light came on, forcing them to go all the way back and switch cars, adding an extra hour to their already long day trip. I can't believe they still came, but I'm so grateful they did.

Thirty hours of driving in six days is a lot. We are all tired. But it was so worth it to see everyone, and yes, Tom, the day at the ocean was 100% blog worthy! Here are some more random pics to prove it:

Katie, Carley, and I riding the best Tilt-a-Whirl on earth!

Eli, Theodore, and Swen too!

Eli, Jane, and Kennedy on the famous carousel 

Leslie, Silas, and Sydney

Like starring in a horror movie that never ends: My experience with our HOA management company!

A few years ago, I went with Gerald to visit his family in Everett, WA, just north of Seattle. Since Gerald booked a flight at the ungodly hour of 5:30 a.m., we couldn't ride Trax to the airport, and instead drove ourselves and parked in economy parking. We left home at 3:30 a.m. (Ugh!), and by 4:15, were riding an airport parking shuttle to the terminal. Can we just stop for a half second and pay homage to a lady named Jenny?

Jenny understands the importance of tone. She was the driver of that middle-of-the-night shuttle, and her welcoming tone made everyone happy, even at that ghastly hour. Really, if you have to get up at 3:30 a.m. for any reason at all, be sure you catch a ride on a shuttle driven by Jenny. She greeted us with a genuine "Good morning," and enthusiastically (though not over the top; it was 4:15 a.m. after all) explained that she would circle the parking lot, making a few more stops, then deliver us to the terminal at just the right place to easily "find the right airline and even grab a cup of coffee." As we departed, she wished us a good flight and thanked us for riding with her. And here's the thing; I believed her! I believed she cared about us.

Once we were back home, I immediately drafted a letter to Jenny's supervisor to express my gratitude for Jenny's service. I got a response soon after, thanking me and assuring me that my letter would be shared with Jenny, with her coworkers, and even with his own boss! 

I tell you all this to be clear about how much I love to write positive letters to support people who are kind, who show respect, and who genuinely strive to help others. I've sent similar letters: for example after a server in a restaurant was particularly helpful or when a retail sales associate offered exemplary service. I think it's important to acknowledge people who do good stuff, and I really don't enjoy writing negative reviews. But sometimes, there is no choice.

In January, 2025, I received a letter from FCS Management, the company that manages the HOA in my neighborhood, regarding a billing issue. I went straight home and emailed them to request information. A few days later, it occurred to me that no one had responded, so I emailed again. Nothing. I tried calling their office and left voicemail. No response. For the next three months, I attempted to contact someone at FCS, through both email and voicemail, but was unsuccessful.

That was over a year ago. In that time, I've been through the most exhaustive, mind-numbing saga. When I say I feel like I'm starring in a horror movie that never ends, I'm not joking. I've lost sleep, felt both anxious and depressed, and as I write this, I'm not one step closer to resolution than I was back on that fateful day in January, 2025. Because the issue is still unresolved, I can't share the details, but here are some experiences I've had:

1. Being told to wait. After three months, I finally made the magic phone call that connected me with a live person at FCS, rather than just voicemail. She explained what she believed to be the issue (turns out it wasn't the issue at all), and told me to wait. Wait for the board to meet. Wait for the manager in charge of my neighborhood to look at my account. Just wait. Every time I managed to make contact with FCS, I was told to wait. And wait. And wait some more. But waiting didn't accomplish anything.

2. Lack of access, Part 1. This company is the least transparent, most inaccessible one I've ever had the displeasure of dealing with. One time I couldn't get the manager in charge of our neighborhood to respond to my emails, so I tried calling her. Shockingly, my call did not go to voicemail, but rather to a receptionist. I asked to speak with the manager by name, and the receptionist put me on hold to "go check to see if she's available." I waited 10 minutes for the receptionist to return to the call. She told me the manager was not available, but she could take a message. I asked for the manager's voicemail, and guess what? She told me voicemail wasn't an option, that I'd need to leave a message with her. Really? Cuz I knew this company had voicemail; I'd left multiple messages there. Apparently, their managers don't have personal voicemail. It was 2025! Why don't they? Because they don't want to be accessible. 

3. Lack of access, Part 2. Another time, unable to find any resolution with FCS, I wanted to reach out to the individual board members. There are only three who are involved with the townhomes, specifically. I happened to know one of the three, personally, but he represented only one-third of the group, so he couldn't accomplish anything on his own. I needed to contact the other two, and I didn't even know their names. I emailed our FCS manager to ask for their names and email addresses. She told me that was private information and not available to residents. Uh, I wasn't asking for their bank accounts, home addresses, or social security numbers; I just wanted a simple name and email. What are they hiding from? Residents, apparently.

4. Lack of access, Part 3. When I was denied email, I asked the FCS manager for a place on the agenda of the next townhome board meeting. She told me that was not possible, as the townhome board had decided to make all their meetings "executive session," so residents were not allowed to attend. Say what? You have got to be kidding! To be fully transparent, they eventually changed that policy, and I was allowed to attend a Zoom meeting, but it took a long time (see #1 above). The point is that when I needed to find access to them and when attending a meeting appeared to be my only option, I was denied.

5. Their bookkeeping system. Is bananas! It is a chaotic mess. They don't have a clue what people owe. One month I received three separate bills, in separate envelopes, all with differing amounts. 

So here is my advice:

1. Never move to a property that requires you to join an HOA. This is my first experience with it, and it will be my last. This has used up hours and hours of my life and my brain space. Never again.

2. If you ignore that advice, make very sure you check out the company that manages the HOA for the property you are thinking about buying. If it's FCS Management, run the other way and don't look back.

NO PROPERTY IS WORTH WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH.