Fabulous Freedom Friday!

I am in so many ways a duplicate copy of my grandma. No, I don't look anything like her, but we share other more important qualities. She loved her "down time." She loved to lounge in her bed until late in the morning, sip her coffee, eat her slightly burned toast, and study her Christian Science weekly scripture lesson. If you sub Diet Coke for the coffee, and "Come Follow Me" for the Christian Science lesson, the two of us might as well be twins! She didn't always have the luxury of lounging. For nearly a decade in the 1940s, she was a single mom and worked full time in an envelope factory in order to care for herself and my mom. But in 1953, she married the love of her life, and from that point on, she lounged pretty much every morning.

I think of her often, especially on those mornings that I don't have to set an alarm, when I can wake up on my own terms, sneak downstairs to grab an ice cold Diet Coke, burn some toast, then return to my bed and dive right into the "Come Follow Me" lesson for the week. Yesterday was such a day, a Fabulous Freedom Friday, I like to call them. This semester, Friday is my only day that is fully free. The other six days all include places I need to go, classes I need to teach, meetings I need to attend, stuff I need to do. I keep my Fridays free, and they are sacred. 

Yesterday I awoke around 8:10 and lounged in my bed for 20 minutes, dreaming of the day ahead in which my calendar was entirely blank. Lots of people thrive on being as busy as is humanly possible. I am not one of those people. Like Grandma, I love my down time. At 8:30 I met Shulamith for our first walk of the day; we did three miles, so around 6,000 steps. Then I returned home and worked on this week's "Come Follow Me" lesson, the last one from Isaiah. Everyone in my family is a bit weary of listening to me talk about the Old Testament. But really. How can I not? Especially when we're reading Isaiah! This week he teaches so brilliantly on two prominent elements of our faith: the Law of the Fast and the Temple Garment. We don't get to have a Gospel Doctrine class tomorrow, but trust me, you want to read these chapters, at least 58-61.

Mid-morning, Shulamith and I took her kids to visit the Witches at Gardner Village (an annual tradition), followed by yummy treats at Schmidt's Bakery. And we were still home by mid-afternoon, with plenty of time to continue my lounging activities. I graded a few papers, watched the most recent episode of The Patient, and emptied the 10 garbage cans throughout our house. That might not seem like a "loungy" thing to do, but for me, newly-emptied garbage cans are the happiest!

In the evening, Eli's one-year-old baby, Jane, came over to visit. Shulamith and I took her on a long walk, our last of the day; then Jane and I did some serious lounging all by ourselves as we sat on the floor, ate strawberries and Cheerios, and watched Cocomelon, which is hands down the stupidest show ever created, but it's Jane's favorite. She's one, so we'll let it slide.

And that ended my Fabulous Freedom Friday for this week, and I just wanted to share it with you. Thank you, Grandma, for teaching me that it's okay to lounge, that down time is a good thing and that self care is important. 

Love is stronger than anger...maybe?

Of course it kinda depends on why I'm angry. If someone messes with one of my five kids, I morph into a ferocious mama bear, the likes of which you can be grateful you've not experienced, and my capacity for love disappears right down the toilet.

That happened this past week. My favorite child, Seth, was the target of some unjust, unscrupulous behavior. As a young college student with limited resources, he was blatantly taken advantage of.

And I am furious!

[Aside: if you wonder how I can refer to Seth as my "favorite child," rest easy. In my ongoing study of the Book of Isaiah, one of the wonderful things I've come to understand is that I am God's favorite. Everyone is. Every single one of us. We are all God's favorite. What splendid, splendid truth! Through my awakened definition the phrase "favorite child," I can now emphatically declare that all five of my kids are my favorite.]

Back to Seth. On Wednesday, he woke up and went out to his car to find a boot on one of the wheels. A notification explained that Seth had not renewed his parking permit at his apartment. He didn't realize he needed to renew the permit, and no reminders were sent out. He immediately went to the apartment office to ask what to do. They informed him he would need to pay $70 to get the boot removed. They told him there was nothing they could do for him and that he should have kept track of when to renew his permit. 

He had class all day and into the evening, so he decided he would deal with this the next morning, but when he woke up Thursday, his car was gone! It had been impounded and towed away. This was less than 24 hours since he first learned there was a problem, and the people at the apartment office failed to mention that if he didn't pay to get the boot removed immediately, the car would be towed by the following morning. That would have been the kind, honorable thing to do, don't you think? 

And how much would it cost to get his car back? $320! Yes, you read that right. How is it even legal to take advantage of people, with ridiculously inflated fees like this? Seth works so hard at his job as a server at Chili's; $320 is a huge amount of money to him. I'm busy drafting my damning Google review of this apartment complex that obviously cares nothing for its residents, who are almost all young college students working their way though school. 

But love is stronger than anger. And it turned my attitude around just a little.

Entirely unrelated to Seth's sad experience is another story. Raging mama bear that I am, I was still so angry yesterday morning, as I drove up to my friend Emily's house to hang out with her one more time before she delivers her baby boy this Friday. The last time she had a baby was in late February, 2020. I got to hold him only once before the world shut down. By the time we felt safe doing anything other than going for social distanced walks outside, her Jeffrey was over a year old! Needless to say I am super excited to snuggle this new little guy, but that's not the point of this story.

When I walked into Emily's house yesterday, greeted at the door by both Evelyn and Jeffrey, I found Emily, nine months' pregnant, on the couch working tirelessly on a tedious project that involved cutting little pieces of sticky paper to various sizes and strategically placing them throughout a hard cover book. Say what???

Several months ago, the prequel to The Hunger Games series was released, a book called The Ballad of Songbirds and S#####. One look at the cover, and I knew I wouldn't be able to read it. Just like I can't read Harry Potter. Or watch the movies. I am an ophidiophobe . I have the most intense, irrational fear of those long, limbless reptiles than anyone I know, though my brother is a close second, and no, we have no idea why we share this phobia. I tried reading the first Harry Potter book once, but 90 pages in, I was so anxious and uncomfortable I had to stop. Sad, too, because I was also already invested in her marvelous writing and cool story.

Anyway, Emily I and talked about the Hunger Games prequel: 

"Even the cover displays one of those dang creatures! No way I could read it," I complained.

"What if I covered the "Rated S" parts? Emily suggested.

"That sounds like a ton of work. It's fine. I read 3-4 books a month as it is; I don't need to read this."

But she decided to do it anyway. As she read the book, she marked with a light pencil dot the pages that included graphic descriptions of those things; then she went back and cut little pieces of paper with sticky backs, just the right size to cover only the forbidden words, phrases, and sentences. This reminded me of what I had to do in college when I took biology and psychology. I cut pieces of construction paper to cover the pictures in the vertebra animals chapter and the desensitization chapter of my bio and psych textbooks, respectively.

But what Emily did was so much harder. It wasn't pictures she was covering (except on the front cover); it was tiny words, no more than an 11# font. So, so much work. While she was pregnant. Very pregnant. And caring for two other children. And preparing her house for a 3rd child. And running a school book fair. 

So now I can safely read this book. Here is what the new and greatly improved cover looks like:

And the spine:

In most cases, the coverings are small and look like this:

But occasionally, she had to cover almost the whole page (!), and in those cases, she left me little notes to explain things I would need to understand, minus the s#####.

So you see, this story has two distinct parts, with seemingly no connection at all. And yet, they weave together as I consider my rage over Seth's situation with his evil apartment owners, redirected almost instantly by Emily, who without even knowing it, turned my attitude to gratitude. 

Am I still mad? Yes. These people hurt my favorite Seth. But I'm also profoundly grateful to have a friend like Emily. Others might laugh at my stupid phobia, because really.....a grown woman who can't read words on a page without falling apart? It's freakin' hilarious. It helps that Emily isn't fond of these creatures either, though her fear is nowhere near as irrational as mine. 

Regardless, everyone should have a friend like Emily. I'm so thankful I do.

"It's a shoebox, but it's MY shoebox!"

The history of Isaiah's living situations is not without drama. Let's just say he has terrible luck with roommates. After dealing with an especially awful one, he came home to live with us a few years ago. He was traveling so much for his job that it made more sense to stay with us than pay rent when he was only in town half the time. Then COVID hit and the travel abruptly ended, and a few months later we moved to the Bluffdale wilderness. That was nearly two years ago, and Isaiah is more than ready to be on his own. I can't blame him. It's time. Hard to have a social life when you live with your parents. Most of Isaiah's friends live in downtown Salt Lake, and Bluffdale is even farther from downtown than Sandy was.

After several months of searching for the right place at the right price, he found a cute, studio apartment just a few blocks west of Temple Square. It's small for sure, only 300 sq. ft, but it's super nice (only a couple years old) and has everything he needs, even a nice washer and dryer! We helped him move in this past week. It's easy to move a minimalist; he barely has anything! One stop at IKEA to buy a desk and TV stand, then Target to get a few necessary household items, and he was good. 

Sadly, he only got to stay there less than a week before flying to Cleveland. He'll be there this week, then home for a few days before going to Denver. But he'll eventually get his apartment set up. He loves it already, especially the fiber internet, and I'm so happy for him. 

And yet...

I already miss him so much. I'm used to having him away, traveling for both work and pleasure, but now that he's gone permanently, my mama heart feels sad. There's so much to miss about Isaiah. He's the easiest person to live with. He asks for almost nothing but offers so much. He's my #1 source for all news and current events along with everything in history. "Isaiah, tell me in 5 minutes what's going on with________________." And he does. Because he knows everything. (He hates it when I say that, but it's almost true!) In Seth's words: "How does he know absolutely everything? I don't get it!"

I will also miss his Asian cooking. He doesn't do it often, but when he does, the food is so good. But he packed up his wok and cooking tools, and I boxed up all his Asian ingredients, and now that yummy cuisine will be created in his little kitchen all the way downtown. Shulamith and I are waiting for an invite, Isaiah.

More than his cooking, I will miss his singing. My sons all have beautiful singing voices, which is beyond shocking if you've ever heard Gerald or me sing. I can barely blend with a choir and only if I have a strong vocalist singing the part right in my ear, and Gerald has never hit a correct note in his entire life. But by some marvelous miracle, my boys sing well, and Isaiah has the loveliest tenor voice. I love hearing him sing as he goes through the course of everyday tasks.

Mostly, I'll just miss his presence daily in our home. It's a positive, inspiring presence. True, he is the smartest person I know, but more importantly, Isaiah is kind and funny and adorable. And he's already so happy in his new apartment, that all I can be is so happy for him.

In his words: "It's a shoebox, but it's MY shoebox!"

Off to school we go!

When Seth was little, he was so jealous because it seemed to him that everyone else got to go to school, while he was stuck home with me. It was true! Luke and Shulamith were in high school; Isaiah and Eli were in elementary school. I taught one evening class at Skagit Valley College, so even I got to go to school! Seth thought "school" must be the most exciting place, and he felt terribly cheated that he couldn't go.

Fast forward 20 years, and it's surprising how many of us are still in school. 

Seth began his junior year at Utah Valley University this past week, majoring in sociology and minoring in criminal justice. Turns out he likes school as much as he thought he would when he was a toddler and too young to go. He loves his soc classes, but this semester, Intro to Criminal Law might be winning the "favorite class" award. 

Cutest college student!

Eli also began the school year this past week, teaching 4th grade at Ridge View Elementary in Herriman, about 2 minutes from their house. He has 24 kids and teaches in a portable classroom because this school is growing like crazy! "So far, so good," he reports. "Kids seem nice."

Cutest 4th grade teacher!

Shulamith is teaching two classes at SLCC, both ENGL 900, developmental reading and writing. She has mostly taught night classes in the past when Matt is home, but now that her youngest is in morning kindergarten, she is teaching four mornings. I'm so grateful she has been able to be home with all her kids through their pre-K years; it's been a sacrifice for her and Matt but absolutely worth it!

Cutest college instructor!

I don't have a picture, but Luke works as a psychologist in the Maryland Public Schools, so he's technically still in school too! 

Finally, my fall semester began this week at both UVU and SLCC. Sad that my UVU classes are opposite days from Seth's, so we won't ever see each other. I have three classes at each school for a total of six, which is ridiculous. (Emily, I know you are saying "Why did you do this to yourself again? Last fall you said you would never do this again?") I don't know the answer; I truly don't. I want to go to the Holy Land and I need money to do that? That's the best I got.  Anyway, all six classes are ENGL 1010: three face-to-face, two hybrid, and one livestream broadcast. I already feel overwhelmed by it all, but ready or not, here we go.

Final hair and makeup check before first class!

Education is important in our family. Gerald and I set a goal long ago to help all five kids through their undergrad degrees as much as we possibly could, assuming they chose to go to college. They did. We now have four college graduates (bachelor's degrees) and one PhD (Luke), and Seth is halfway to his bachelor's. Hooray!

And in other news related to education, our amazing President Biden just forgave $10,000 of student loan debt for Isaiah and even more for Eli's wife, Amanda. We are so grateful! We don't hear a lot about him; he's not up in the middle of the night bullying people on social media. He's just hard at work, doing what he said he'd do, making positive change for middle-class Americans. Very possibly the best president in my lifetime.

And there you have it, our fall 2022 back-to-school report and pics. 

Vegas mini-vacay, reimagined!

What happens when two moms take three kids ages 10, 8, and 5 to Las Vegas for an end-of-summer fling, and one of those kids has ADHD, but his mom leaves his medication at home because she is so focused on bringing all his Type 1 Diabetes equipment that she forgets the ADHD pills?

Chaos. 

Pure chaos.

And also, loads of loud laughter and fabulous fun.

(Mixed in with the chaos.)

Shulamith says this photo best represents the essence of our trip, as she holds Swen in a death grip, haha.

If you ever go to Vegas with kids, I highly recommend the Hilton at Resorts World . It's located on the north end of the strip, so a bit far from many of the fun attractions; however, the inexpensive bus passes work great, so it doesn't really matter where you are. You can easily get wherever you want to go. This hotel is only a couple years old and so nice. Here is the view from our room on the 54th floor:

The best part about this hotel is the pool, or rather pools. There are five of them! Lots of shallow areas for non-swimmers and one pool with spray park features for kids. For parents, there are lounge chairs that are literally immersed in water. Not even kidding. You sit in a comfortable lounge chair, and your legs are under water. So cool (both literally and figuratively)! I didn't get a picture of these amazing chairs, but here we are hanging by the pool:

We rode the bus down to the south end of the strip to visit two favorite places: the Coke store (fountain Diet Coke on ice, anyone?) and the M&M store. We all got bags of assorted M&Ms, including caramel, fudge brownie, mint, pretzel, crispy, and of course peanut and regular. 

The Vegas mini-vacay was definitely reimagined from when Shulamith and I go by ourselves. For example, we didn't go to any shows, and she didn't get to gamble away her usual $20. However, you can be sure we still ate all the Vegas food we like. Had to feed her kids McDonald's because they don't like good food, but we enjoyed Gordon Ramsay's Fish & Chips.

We also ate our favorite crepes from the New York - New York Hotel, and we discovered a new favorite treat: Siegel's Bagelmania. These bagels weren't quite as good as the ones we ate in New York City but a close second. Finally, we ate our standard yummy street tacos from Taco del Gordo.

I think Kennedy's favorite thing was watching the high wire flyers at Circus Circus. When I asked her if she would like to be a trapeze artist, her response was, "Yes! But no." That makes perfect sense, Kennedy. Here we are waiting for the act to begin:

I only got one airport photo, but I need to post it to document the adventure and to prove we did it! Two moms, three kids (one missing his ADHD meds) and a 2-day, fun-filled trip to Las Vegas.

One day I'm sure I'll put it away. But not yet, I guess.

On my desk sits a nondescript, brown, men's wallet. One day I'm sure I'll put it away. But not yet, I guess.

It is my dad's wallet, exactly as it was the day he passed away 43 years ago, the contents just as they were back then. I had not seen the wallet in all those years, until recently when my brother mailed it to me. He was looking through some old boxes, hoping to find pictures of our dad to show his kids. He found a few, but this wallet was the best find of all! 

He asked me if I would like to keep it safe for the next 43 years. Uh, yes!! I have so very little that was my dad's. A few snapshot photos, along with a professional picture of him with his coworkers on his fire department shift, are pretty much it. I was overjoyed when Tom found this wallet and asked me if I'd like to have it; I am so grateful.

"Is there any money in it?" my kids all wanted to know. Nope. Its contents are pretty much what you'd expect: a few credit cards, his insurance ID, pictures of Tom and me, a handwritten note with the address of his best friend in Tennessee, and a small 1979 calendar with the three fire department shifts identified in red, blue, and green. My dad was on "A" shift (red) for a long time, but later in his career switched to "B" shift (blue). Our lives were in many way determined by those fire shifts; holidays and other celebrations had to be adjusted to the days he was off.

There is something profoundly meaningful about holding onto a physical object that he held in his hands every day. I keep picking it up, caressing the soft leather, then setting it back on my desk. I can't seem to put it away.

I loved him very much and I miss him every day, but the memories are many. And now, I have this wallet to hold in my hands, just like he did.

One day I'm sure I'll put it away. But not yet, I guess.

"...to mourn with those that mourn..."

This morning in my Gospel Doctrine class, we discussed what it means to "mourn with those that mourn" (Mosiah 18:9), as we read about how Job's friends show up to comfort him in his suffering (Job 1:11). We talked about the covenant we've all made to do this very thing and how we might improve! It occurred to me that no one does this better than Shulamith's daughter Kennedy, who entered the waters of baptism yesterday and took her first step on the covenant path, leading back to her Heavenly Parents and her Savior. 

It was a joyous occasion!

Kennedy had looked forward to her baptism for a long time. She picked out a pretty dress and a wreath of flowers for her hair. She chose her favorite hymn and invited the special people in her life to attend. More importantly, she began to learn what it means to be accountable for her actions. Her parents taught her about the covenant she would make when she was baptized and what it means to "stand as a witness of God" and yes, to "mourn with those that mourn." This last part comes naturally to Kennedy. Whenever someone is sad, she feels that sadness, and she'll do anything possible to help. Her heart is kind, her willingness to extend grace, unyielding. I hope she always lives like this, so near to the One who taught ultimate kindness and grace. I hope maturity and the woes of mortality don't ever tarnish that spiritual gift that overflows in Kennedy's words and actions.

Kennedy shared the day with another 8-year-old, a boy from our ward named Joseph. It was equally sweet to see him descend into the baptismal font and begin his own journey on the covenant path, with his family and friends gathered, along with us. Here they were, two precious children of deity, only eight years from having walked with our Heavenly Parents daily. And we could feel it. We could see it in their eyes and in their smiles. It gave all of us who were blessed to attend these baptisms, hope! Hope for the future and hope for humanity.

Congratulations, Kennedy and Joseph! The angels are singing for sure.

Last week, Shulamith and I took some pictures of Kennedy in her baptism dress. Here are a few: