Going the Wrong Direction: Pre-General Conference Musings

I am directionally challenged. Most of the time I have little idea where I am in relationship to other places, even places I've been multiple times. This deficiency has presented itself in brand new ways since I've been using the UTA Trax and Frontrunner systems. First, let me just say how much I love these trains. Like way too much. I get so excited whenever I get to ride one; it never gets old. Of course it feels good to do even a tiny bit to reduce greenhouse gases and slow global warming, but mostly, riding the Trax/Frontrunner is just so much fun.

That is, if I manage to board the correct train. Going the right direction. Oh my goodness, this is hard! It takes all the concentration I can muster to figure out which way to go. Here's what I have to do: First, I stand up at the UTA station and face the big mountains. I've been told that the big mountains are to the east. Next, I visualize the assembly room from my days as a Rainbow Girl, in order to tell which way is north and which way is south. I literally stand there, head in hands, and think, "Okay, big mountains are east. Facing east, Hope (Rainbow officer) is to the south, and Charity (Rainbow officer) is to the north. Orem is south, so I want go toward Hope."

This works most of the time, but not always. I can't tell you the number of times I've boarded the wrong train, going the wrong direction. When Shulamith drops me off at a UTA station, she literally points her finger the way I need to go: "Go THIS way," she instructs, pointing her finger. I nod in compliance. And it helps too, quite often! Still, there are times when I have to text her and admit, "Yeah, I kinda got on the wrong train. Going the wrong direction."

All this is obviously hilarious, a grown woman unable to tell which way is north and which way is south, but it recently caused me to think about the gospel, about the Savior, and about our Heavenly Parents, especially in light of our church's upcoming semiannual General Conference next weekend. You know, we all get on the wrong train sometimes, the one going the wrong direction. It's so easy to do. If we're even a little bit distracted or if we lose our focus for just a second, we can suddenly find ourselves on the wrong train.

But here's the good news. No, here's the excellent news! Here's the most awesome news ever to influence and affect humankind. We can always change trains. For real. Whenever I text Shulamith to confess that I'm headed to Salt Lake City when I'm supposed to be going to Sandy, she shakes her head (okay, I don't actually see her shake her head, but I assume she does), and texts back, "Really? Are you kidding me? I told you the right way to go. I pointed in the right direction!" Yep, she did. But I managed to board the wrong train anyway.

I always reassure her that I'm okay and that all will be well. Now that I've recognized my mistake, all I have to do is get right off at the next stop and then wait to board the correct train, the one going the right direction. And that's exactly what I do. One time I went all the way to Draper before I noticed my error; I was distracted by my phone and failed to listen to the warnings over the loudspeaker telling me I was headed south. Nevertheless, once I got off, a new train came right away, one headed north, and I hopped right on.

It's the same with life. The scriptures point us in the right direction. The road map is clear, even for someone directionally challenged like me. The Holy Ghost whispers through the loudspeaker in our heads, which direction we're headed and whether or not it's the right one. For those times when we still get lost, the Savior always provides a new train, and His always travels in the right direction, toward a glorious reunion with our Heavenly Parents.

Next weekend, we'll be blessed with yet another opportunity to sharpen our skills in determining which train to ride. Humble servants of the Lord, regular folks called to a divine purpose, will speak to us and provide inspired counsel about how to stay on the right train. None of these speakers will be perfect. Every one of them will have at one time in his or her life boarded the wrong train. Elder Holland's words come to mind: "So be kind regarding human frailty--your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with."

And yet, here they are, sacrificing their time, effort, and energy on our behalf. Volunteer, mortal men and women? Yes. Divinely appointed and inspired to provide heavenly counsel unique to our time. Without a doubt. You won't want to miss it!

Most of us will view General Conference either on TV or through the Internet. However, here's a tip: If you happen to be here in Sandy, Utah next weekend and have tickets to attend one of the five sessions, you want to go north. North! On the Blue Line train toward Salt Lake City. That means if you face the big mountains to the east, you want to go left.

You're welcome.

And Happy General Conference Weekend, Everyone!

Broken Clouds Give Rain

A popular Kenneth Cope song "Broken" came to mind this past weekend as I visited my family in Oregon. My favorite line from the song titles this post: "Broken clouds give rain." Most of you regular readers already know how I feel about rain. In my three days in Portland, I got only a little; it rained briefly Thursday night and then again Sunday morning before I left for the airport. I think I embarrassed my friend Lorrie when I twirled around in the Shari's parking lot, arms extended, celebrating those beautiful broken clouds, as we exited the restaurant. Good thing I've known Lorrie since I was 13, and she loves me regardless.

Other broken things this weekend were not so worthy of celebration. Gracious!

The trip seemed ill fated from the very start. Amanda dropped me off at the airport, and I quickly passed through security (TSA pre-check this time, so I must not look like a terrorist). Walking to my gate, I decided to grab a quick hot chocolate because, you know, I was on vacation, so calories didn't count. Only about two delicious sips in, I spilled the entire cup on the floor of the airport. Lovely. Almost my whole cup of hot chocolate...broken.

Next, I boarded the plane and ASAP, ordered a Diet Coke because what else would I do? And you guessed it; I promptly spilled that cup of perfection right on my feet. At that point, my anxiety was spiraling out of control, and if we weren't already over 30,000 feet in the air, I might have gotten right off that airplane and come back home.

Life improved markedly when I sat at Sayer's Old Country Kitchen with my mom; my brother, Tom; his daughter, Leslie; her husband, Silas; their daughter, Sydney; and a different niece's son, Finn. You can read about this place in the above link, but suffice it to say, I rolled right outta there like a beach ball, and didn't regret one bite.

The following day I awoke to a broken laptop. Yep, it fried and died. Overnight. I have no idea what happened, but it was dunzo. Cope's song asks, "Could it be that God loves broken things?" Well, maybe, but not this one. Dang. That PC was under two years old, and I NEED it! Seriously, I can't go even one day without a computer; both my college jobs require one, not to mention my little online side job with VIPKID. I borrowed my mom's computer to respond to student email (Remember the days when students had to wait until class to ask questions? Yeah, me too), and to review essay drafts. Thanks, Mom!

Friday my mom and I spent at the ocean, in the town of Seaside. Dozens of memories surround that place, way too many to share. My favorite might be when Tom and I were children, maybe around eight and ten, and we were left at the top of an amusement park ride, the octopus, because the ride attendant forgot we were up there when he closed the ride. I can't remember how this story ended; it was late at night, and somehow someone found us, I guess? Perhaps our parents?

Anyway, the ocean was so pretty. It's hard for me to live in a landlocked state with so little rain. I ran right down and touched the water! Here's the selfie; it's a horrible picture, but my only one of the ocean, so I'm sucking it up and posting.

Next, we discovered my niece, Katie, and her boyfriend, Josh. I wish we had remembered to take a picture because they are the cutest! We played Fascination, browsed gift shops, and admired Christmas decorations that were way too expensive but so beautiful. We ate yummy food, including a veggie egg scramble, and then brought back fresh clam chowder for dinner. I don't think anything broke on Friday.

Saturday, while my mom cooked dinner for the family, Tom and I went computer shopping at Best Buy. I went in thinking I'd get another PC, similar to the one that died prematurely, but I left with a new MacBook Air. How'd that happen? Um, not sure? We looked at PCs, but I'm really tired of their quirkiness, flipping around all over the place without warning, updating at the most inconvenient times, and (of course) dying out of the blue at less than two years old. Tom switched to Apple years ago and says he's "never looked back," so in the end, that's what I did. So far, I'm super groovin' on this sweet, ultra thin, rose gold Mac.

That evening, as we ate a delicious dinner of fried chicken and smashed potatoes (Eli's name for them), Leslie's daughter Sydney noticed a large bird out on my mom's deck. We thought it was a statue because she likes decorations like that, but then it moved! A live bird was right out there on the deck, obviously hurt and unable to fly, at least not very far. A broken bird. We all felt bad for him, all except Grandma, who wanted him OFF her deck, so Leslie wrapped him in a towel and brought him to the front yard. He was gone by the following day, but Tom noticed a smear on his living room window, where the poor bird had apparently crashed and fallen onto the deck below. I know God loves broken things, and I really hope he loves this poor bird and is keeping it safe somehow.

The evening, and my visit, ended with S'More's around the fire pit.

Early Sunday morning, I met Lorrie at Shari's for breakfast on my way to the airport. We talked too long (and not nearly long enough), so I worried I wouldn't make my flight. She offered to follow me to my rental car place and then drive me to the airport to save time. We were literally "racing in the rain" though there was no dog involved. When the rental car guy told me to "Just go! I'll email you if we need anything," I replied "I love you!" as I ran to Lorrie's car, once again embarrassing my poor friend. "Did you just tell that guy you loved him?" "Yep, because right now, I do."

I left my Portland family and returned to my SLC family. Wish it didn't have to be one or the other, but that is life.

Broken clouds give rain. Thank goodness.

Farewell, Sir Elton John - Thank you, Ruth Ann and Isaiah

When I was 13, I joined a girls' service organization called The International Order of Rainbow for Girls. This organization has many officers, but the five top ones progress through what is called "the line," and once a girl starts through that "line" holding the office of "Faith," she continues through, holding the offices of "Hope," "Charity," "Worthy Associate Adviser," consecutively, and ultimately becomes the "Worthy Adviser," who leads the assembly for four months.

Our assembly, Kellogg #92 was brand new, so they had to find all five line officers at the same time, rather than just electing a "Faith," and letting her progress through. From the same high school, they found the top four, all girls who were between their junior and senior years. But I guess they couldn't find a fifth, so eventually, they asked me to be "Faith." I was headed to 8th grade and ridiculously excited about Rainbow, but if that wasn't enough, getting to hang out with these four "older" and incredibly cool girls was almost more than I could handle. They were so nice to me.

I became especially close to one of them, Ruth Ann, who held the office of "Charity" in the "line." She was so beautiful! She had perfect hair and makeup and, well, everything! She would come pick me up to do stuff, because she could drive and even had her own car. it was the first time I ever rode around with a teenager. I wanted to be just like her, so when she introduced me to the music of a rock & roll singer named Elton John, I was all in. Looking back now, I can't tell you whether I truly loved Elton John from the start or if I just loved him because Ruth Ann did, but somewhere along the line, that passion became my own.

Fast forward a few years till now, and Sir Elton John remains one of my favorite artists. When he first announced his final tour "Farewell Yellow Brick Road," I immediately thought, "Well this is it. I have to go. If I don't, I'll never get another chance."

Then I checked the price of tickets...

...and quickly convinced myself that it might be okay if I didn't see him.

His performance here in Salt Lake City was two nights ago, and yes, I was there, thanks to my favorite third-born child ever, Isaiah. In many ways, Isaiah and I see life through a similar lens. We're both passionate about politics and social justice. We both love to travel and eat Asian food (he just gets to do it way, way more than I do). He has turned me into an over-the-top Utah Jazz fan.

And we both love Elton John.

So Wednesday, while I was in class at SLCC, he texted me: "If I buy them, will you go? Consider it a combined birthday and Christmas present?"

What???????????????? Of course I'll go!

We rode Trax downtown to the Vivant Smart Home Arena, where we've gone many times to see Jazz games, but this felt so different. I was crazy excited, but not one bit nervous. Usually, my nerves are completely on edge, hoping so desperately for a Jazz win. Instead, I could just relax and enjoy the anticipation with no fear.

I struggle to put into words what we experienced. I've seen Neil Diamond three times, Barry Manilow twice, and other outstanding live concerts, including Celine Dion, Bon Jovi, and Donny & Marie.

But there is no contest. This performance Wednesday night was in a league all its own. For three solid hours, with just two five-minute breaks to change his clothes, Elton John played the piano and sang song after song after song, holding the entire audience in the palm of his unbelievably talented hands. Isaiah and I were squarely centered in one of those palms. We kept looking at each other in awe, as if to say, "Can you even believe this is happening to us?"

With only three songs we didn't recognize, we sang right along. Every time I thought I'd heard every famous hit, he began playing another, and we'd look at each other and mouth, "Oh yeah. I forgot about this one!" We knew he'd close with "Yellow Brick Road," and sure enough, after three hours, that time came. I might have been a little sad to see it end, but when he explained why this would be his final tour, he said,

"I never thought I would have a family of my own. And now I do."

And that's enough for me.

So thank you, Ruth Ann, for introducing me to such talent. Thank you, my dear Isaiah, for a night I will never forget. And thank you, Sir Elton John, for the magic.

In the Direction of UVU: If we never take a risk...

...imagine what we might miss!

Eight years ago we moved from Montana to Utah. Almost immediately, I began teaching part time as an adjunct instructor at LDS Business College. Since then, I've taught every semester, so three semesters a year for a grand total of 24 semesters! Whoa. In my many classes at LDSBC, I've met wonderful students. That may sound like just a platitude, but really, some of the nicest people attend that school.

Adjunct teaching is a lonely profession. You're not really part of the faculty. You have zero job security because your contract is semester-to-semester, and your employment is entirely dependent on student enrollment. As a result, the full-time faculty is understandably hesitant to get too close, to make too much of an investment in getting to know you. That said, I did make one friend at LDSBC. She retired a year ago, and I love that our friendship can continue.

Three years ago, I added a couple classes at Salt Lake Community College, a decision that proved super beneficial and offered me a new and much welcomed perspective on adjunct teaching.

Last week I jumped head first (it felt like) into another huge change. I resigned from LDSBC and began teaching a class at Utah Valley University, in addition to my three classes at SLCC. In reality, my time at LDSBC should have ended about a year ago. I knew inside, even back then, that it was time to move on. But you know, fear and stuff kept me plodding along.

The opportunity to teach at UVU came suddenly, and I was actually pretty surprised. UVU is a four-year institution, and no, I don't have my PhD, only a master's. It also came with some risk. I'm giving up a part-time job I've had for eight years (albeit no real job security as noted above, but still). What if they don't like me at UVU? Also, it means a fairly significant commute, to teach just one class, with the assurance that I'll be in a great position to get a second class in January.

So on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, on the FrontRunner I go, pulling my computer bag behind me. It feels kinda cool to be commuting to work, even though I spend over twice as long in transit there and back as I do in my actual 75-minute class. I keep telling myself two things: #1 I'm getting my steps in. It's true because I park my car at the Park & Ride, walk to the FrontRunner station, get off in Orem and walk to the bus that goes from the train station to campus, then get off and walk about a mile from the bus stop to the building where my class meets. Then I do the same thing all over again to get home. #2 I'm getting my work done on the train, which has free WiFi and cute little tables on which to set my computer. So it's all good.

My UVU students are great so far, and I'm enjoying the freedom to creatively make most of my own decisions about how to present the curriculum, while still appreciating how carefully prescribed my SLCC curriculum already is. There are advantages to both.

Change is always scary. Especially for anxiety-laden people like me.

But if we never take a risk... imagine what we might miss!

Go burn that shirt, baby!

In my class this morning, we talked about discourse communities. I asked students to consider the various discourse communities they're a part of. I asked them to conduct a cultural inventory of one discourse community and to write a thick description of it, in order to dig deep, to move beyond superficial understanding.

Watching them go through this exercise, I naturally thought about the discourse communities I, myself, embrace. I'm part of the academic community of higher education, for example. I'm also a mother. And a writer/blogger. I'm in a book group. I'm a Sunday School teacher. I'm a grammar Nazi. I'm a Democrat. I'm a walker. I'm an anxiety sufferer. I'm a perfectionist. I'm an extrovert. I'm a poetry lover. I'm a Utah Jazz fan. I'm a restaurant enthusiast.

So many discourse communities.

I'm also the mom of a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And yes, that is a discourse community all its own. Seth is my third missionary, so there are numerous posts about that community throughout this blog; in fact, here's the one I wrote at Eli's one-year mark six years ago. As a missionary mom, I've come to understand the rhetorical culture of this unique community so near to my heart.

Today is Seth's one year point. He's halfway done! One year ago, our family arose early, piled into our minivan, and drove to the Salt Lake City International airport to say goodbye to our youngest child and sibling for two years. Well, here's the post on that if you want to see. I know for you, it may seem like this year passed quickly, but for me? I have felt every last one of the 365 days since he left. We're on the downhill now though. Oh yes we are.

And how's he doing? So, so great. Really, he's so happy in Paraguay. If you receive his weekly group email, you know that he is working crazy hard but that he is loving his mission. He says he barely remembers a time when he didn't speak and understand Spanish, and in many ways, he feels like he's always lived in South America. He sometimes thinks about how funny it is that we're all still here living our lives, and that we all speak English.

Today he will burn a white shirt. In the discourse community of full-time missionaries, elders often burn their clothing as they reach certain points in the mission. At six months, they typically burn a tie. At one year, a shirt. At 18 months, a pair of pants. And when they reach two years, they burn a suit jacket. When Eli burned a shirt at the one year point of his mission in Arkansas/Tennessee, he did it at a ward member's home, supervised by responsible adults, who were kind enough to videotape it so I could see. None of this will happen with Seth. He and his companion will do this burning all on their own. Pray for their safety.

Now that we've reached the halfway point, all future events will be our "last time" without Seth. Soon it will be the last Halloween, the last Thanksgiving, the last Christmas without him. Come January, I'll be able to say, "My missionary? He'll be home later this year." This is all very good.

As we ended one of our video chats recently, Seth asked Gerald and me, "Is there anything I can do for you?" My response: "Oh my sweet Seth, my favorite elder! You are already doing everything I could ever want you to do. And I am the proudest missionary mom in the whole world." I know other moms would disagree (as they should), but that's how my heart feels. Though I miss him with a longing I can't even describe, I wouldn't want him anywhere else.

So Elder Erichsen, carry on! Carry on loving the wonderful people of Paraguay. Carry on walking the streets, clapping doors, inviting everyone who will listen, and sharing God's love through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Oh, and also.....Go burn that shirt, baby!

Did we lose a week?

Have you ever felt like you lost an entire week? But at the same time, like a whole year has passed when it's only been seven days. That's exactly how I feel today.

One week ago, I sat in Sacrament Meeting for about 20 minutes, long enough to take the sacrament and begin to listen to the first speaker. As she started to talk about gratitude (at least I think it was gratitude?), my phone lit up with a text from Eli: "I know you're in church, but can you call me? Amanda is having sharp pain in her stomach." I left immediately, called Eli, and headed home to find Amanda burning up with fever and in severe pain. We helped her to the car and headed to the emergency room, where we spent the rest of the day watching Amanda endure multiple tests, repeated questions, all while being so, so sick, with a fever of 104.5 to prove it! It was heartbreaking.

Finally, she was diagnosed with a kidney infection, and later, blood cultures would reveal that the sepsis had also made its way into her bloodstream. Indeed, this is a serious situation, and Eli and I were pretty frightened, truth be told, but she was admitted to the hospital and received the most excellent care from a wonderful staff of nurses, aides, and (most especially) an amazing doctor, who put us at ease each time she spoke with us.

(As an aside, this very smart doctor also confirmed my belief that Diet Coke is not bad for people and that it's every bit as hydrating as water. Yep, I've been correct all this time. By our second day at the hospital, Amanda had a headache, and Dr. O'Hara told me to "go get that girl a Diet Coke" because she was likely experiencing a little caffeine withdrawal.)

Amanda stayed at the hospital two nights, and I stayed there with her because, you know, the timing of all this couldn't be any worse. Monday was Eli's first contract day in his new teaching position; he absolutely couldn't miss. I could sense the torment he felt each time he had to leave Amanda at the hospital and go to school, but really, he had no choice. Her recovery was definitely up and down, but by Tuesday, she had improved enough to come home. Hooray!

Our next order of business, besides encouraging Amanda to rest and recover, was to help Eli finish getting his classroom ready for the 22 5th graders who would arrive Monday (tomorrow!). Are you thinking what I'm thinking? You'd be right. Shulamith and I super suck at this type of thing. Most of you you are aware of my woefully limited skill set, but in case you're not, here's a nice little parable about it: "I Think I Was Napping: Another Parable of Talents."

Fact was, we needed Amanda. Desperately. Without her, there was no way in h___ we could get that classroom finished, at least not the way Amanda envisioned. You see, she is an expert at all that creative, decorative stuff, truly gifted. Ever since Eli was offered this 5th grade position (and probably even before then), the vision of his classroom was in her mind. Without her, Shulamith and I would likely have smashed that vision right off the map.

Though she was still recovering, she came with us to the school, sat in a chair, and directed traffic. Shulamith and I tried our very best to follow her directions.

When she needed to go to a different part of the classroom but was too tired and weak to walk, I rolled her around to where she needed to be. This worked quite well!

The very hardest part was making this "Welcome" bulletin board outside Eli's classroom. At one point I might have said something like, "This whole thing would have been an awesome idea had you not gotten sick!!" Yikes, measuring all these lines and trying to make the tape straight brought me close to a full-on panic attack, but here's the result:

The rest of Eli's classroom looks fantastic as well. Those kids are in for such a treat to be in such a delightful learning environment with such a kind, caring, wonderful teacher. Lucky 5th graders!

Hiking, Reading, Netflix Binging, Deep Cleaning, and Being on the Back Burner

...except I think I'll describe those five activities in reverse order:

Being on the Back Burner. A while back, Eli was asked to give a talk in Sacrament Meeting. A true Webster, he was thrilled to be asked and excited to get started. The bishopric counselor gave him the assigned topic and mentioned that they were still looking for a second speaker, to which Eli replied, "My mom's always available." Then the counselor said, "Oh, we always have your mom on the back burner, but we'll try to find someone else."

Wait, what? The back burner? So I thought about that for a bit, and finally came to this conclusion: When it comes to speaking in church, I'd way rather be on the front burner, but I guess I'm happy to at least be on the stove.

(By the way, Eli did an amazing job on his talk. So great. It was perfectly structured; doctrinally on point; carefully arranged with the right mix of scriptures, quotes, and personal stories; and so well delivered. I think Eli likes to speak almost as much as I do. Probably not quite as much, but almost.)

Deep Cleaning. As most of you know, I teach English classes part time at a couple different colleges. Though it's just a part time job, when the semester is in session, I don't have time to do many of the more intense, deep cleaning tasks around the house. So I made a detailed list of those projects, and right now, during my break, I'm doing one each day. I don't feel burdened down with cleaning, but these necessary things are getting done, one by one. So far, I've cleaned all the baseboards and light switch plates and ceiling fans throughout the house. Today, I'll tackle the linen closet. Go me!

Netflix Binging. I don't watch much TV during the summer because all my favorite shows are on break, and I am a reality TV failure. But once my grades were submitted, I yearned for a Netflix binge, and Shulamith suggested "Bloodline," although she, herself, hasn't watched it. The language is a bit rough (okay, a lot rough), but I was hooked from Episode 1. I'm pulled in by the story of a good family, plagued with tragedy, from which none of them seem to be able to escape, and the choices, lies, and broken relationships that result. So there's some light, uplifting, summer TV for you.

Reading. Reading is my escape. Escape from worries, anxiety, deadlines, and (during the semester) escape from grading boring essays with bad grammar and even worse voice. Yep, the perfect escape! Last week I read The President is Missing and Evvie Drake Starts Over. Neither was exceptional, but both entertaining enough. Next up...Little Fires Everywhere, just downloaded to my Kindle.

Hiking. So I'm not a super hiker or anything, and I definitely don't like to go when it's hot. I also struggle with the ever-present possibility of running into one of those awful creatures with no arms or legs. That said, I enjoy the outdoors, in small doses, and there's the added benefit that when I go hiking, I feel like I can eat whatever I want because of the good calorie burn. So my friend Diana has created this little hiking group to explore some of the nearby trails this summer. She loves the mountains (with the same passion I feel for the ocean), and she's an expert on all the hikes in the Wasatch Mountains. Last night I went on my second hike with her and her group, an easy little hike to Albion Meadows. We went in the evening so it was cool, and the flowers were beautiful. Here's a picture...

We even saw a deer! Picture is blurry, but you can still see him...

So there you have it: The lazy days of summer. Filled with hiking, reading,Netflix binging, deep cleaning, and being on the back burner.