Upside-down July!

It just occurred to me that it's July 31st, and this is only my second post in the entire month. In my 15 years blogging, I don't think I've ever written only two posts in a month. How did this happen?

July.

Was busy.

And stressful. 

Which is all the more reason I should be blogging because writing reduces stress for me, better than almost anything. And yet, this crazy, upside down month totally got away from me. So here we are on the 31st with only two posts. I will certainly try harder.

As for July, I'm not sure where to begin. My kids. Yes. Grownup kids = grownup problems. My kids are the smartest, kindest, most awesome people I know. But they are still grownup kids, which means they have grownup problems. There is no escaping this. And their grownup problems become my grownup problems, because that's just how it is when you're a mom to grownup kids. There is no escaping this. 

(And I wouldn't, even if I could.)

Between Shulamith's dog incident, Isaiah's stressful job, and Seth's dating issues, let's just say my "mom" anxiety was triggered nearly every day of July. Plus I was so, so hot! Remember how my dog broke my AC? Yeah, I didn't realize how much being overly hot would exacerbate my anxiety disorder, but the answer is A LOT! 

Since I won't be writing posts for all our July events, let me highlight them briefly here:

Kennedy's 9th birthday

She had a celebration with extended family and close family friends at our community pool, where she swam, ate pizza, and opened tons of cool presents. Then she also had a "friend party," where she invited three of her closest friends to dinner at Cheesecake Factory, followed by shopping at the mall and Target. They got to sit at their own table at dinner; then Shulamith gave them each $20 with which to shop. Pretty sure it was Kennedy's favorite birthday party ever, and possibly the favorite for the other girls as well. They managed to find matching flair jeans, and I wish I'd taken a picture of all of them trying those on, but here are the two pictures I got:

Theodore's 6th birthday

Just a couple weeks later, it was Theodore's turn. For Theodore, there is but one birthday party location: Classic Fun Center! It's a large venue with giant bounce equipment, surrounded by a track for roller skating, roller blading, and scootering. In addition, there are arcade games that produce tickets to buy things at a store, mostly dumb, cheap crap, but still coveted by every child. They serve pizza, fries, soda, and more. It's a great place for a 6-year-old's birthday, and Theodore had the best time. He is a Lego genius, so this was definitely his favorite present.

Lagoon

Lagoon is a large amusement park way up north in Farmington. Typically, we go just once a year because, although the rides are super good, it's still overpriced at $97/day. Unless you have a season pass. We've talked for several years about getting season passes, and this year, we finally did it. And suddenly, we are Lagoon rats. It's so nice not to feel like you have to ride every single ride because you won't return for a year. We've gone multiple times already; we stay till we're tired, then leave. It's great! Oh, what is my favorite ride, you want to know? It's a tie between Samari and Cannibal, but then I'm a "ride junkie," so for me, the spinnier, the loopier, the faster, the better! Here we are taking a short break between rides:

One Lagoon day, Eli, Amanda, and Jane joined us. Jane was delighted as Shulamith's kids willingly took her on the "baby" rides:

So on this hot July 31st, I apologize for not writing more this month. It's been a wild ride (not just the ones at Lagoon), and I've been exhausted trying to help everyone, while teaching six credits during summer session.

Happy mid-summer, everyone. Stay cool (both literally and figuratively). 

It was absolutely worth the wait!

We walked down a dimly lit hallway into a changing room, where we donned plush bathrobes and sandals. Soft, instrumental music played in the background as we gathered in a comfortable sitting area, sipped Diet Cokes, and talked about how excited we were to be there.

We had looked forward to this day for two months. A mini-spa day at Sanctuary. It was my Mother's Day gift to Shulamith and Amanda, but it took this long to schedule it. 

It was absolutely worth the wait.

One at a time, each of our massage therapists called us into one of the massage rooms. From that point, the experience varied somewhat depending on the therapist. Mine gently washed my feet with a lavender scented scrub, then instructed me to lie on the table face down. For the next hour, I lay like a rag doll, allowing the therapist to manipulate my limbs to the proper positions. It was glorious. Head to toe, my body fell into relaxation. 

The hour passed far too quickly, and the three of us gathered once again in the sitting room and waited for our facials. The last time I'd had a facial (the only time, actually) was 12 years ago. I remember exactly when, because it was my birthday week, and Shulamith had just found out she was pregnant with Swen. She arranged surprise facials for the two of us as part of my birthday celebration. 

This time, as with the massages, we were alone in a room with our esthetician. Mine was awesome! She asked if I wanted to diffuse some essential oil along with the steam. Why not? I chose a rose scent, which was delightful. As the rose-scented steam enveloped me, the esthetician used an assortment of luscious products on my face, massaging each into my skin. Between each product, she wrapped my head in a hot towel for a few seconds. This felt so, so good! Even though this was a facial, she also massaged my arms, hands, and fingers!

Our final indulgence was a foot treatment. This time the three of us were together in the pedicure room, where we enjoyed a 30-minute foot massage. We sipped more Diet Coke and chatted about nothing and everything, before it was time to return to the changing room, but not before we spent a few minutes in the wet steam room. I'm not a super fan of these types of things, but the wet steam was way better than a dry-heat sauna.

We were sad it was over, but we left with bodies relaxed and faces aglow. And we decided this needs to be an annual event. 

We're halfway there! (Also, Happy Birthday, Seth!)

 

It was the loveliest Halfway Christmas celebration, our seventh one! 

As Christmas music played throughout the house and the Yule log burned on the TV screen, I was once again so happy that, thanks to Shulamith's daughter Kennedy when she was barely three, our family created this pretend holiday. The first was in June, 2017.  

It's the perfect way to gather in late June and experience a tiny taste of Christmas when we are halfway there! There isn't much stress to this holiday. I set up my little Charlie Brown Christmas tree. We draw names ahead of time, and everyone buys a present ($20 limit) for the person they draw. We eat good food, drink lots of Diet Coke (like every other day), open our one gift each, listen to our favorite Christmas
music (Neil Diamond, of course!), and sometimes play games or watch a Christmas movie.

Of course the gift opening is always the most exciting part, and this year was no exception. Here are some highlights:

In addition to "Halfway," we also added Seth's birthday to the celebration. He was in Japan for five weeks in May and has been working nearly every day since he returned, so we missed his birthday June 14th. Glad for the chance to finally celebrate our favorite Seth!

Happy birthday, Seth! And Merry Halfway Christmas to all!

I now have an enemy in the neighborhood. Forever.

I saw an Instagram post recently that said, "A girl in fourth grade once called me a B**** and made me cry. Recently, on my college break, I mentioned to my mom that I was meeting this girl for lunch. 'You're having lunch with HER?' my mom replied. 'I don't like her. Don't tell her hello from me.'"

Rarely has a post resonated with me more fully. I am exactly that mama bear! Seriously, don't mess with my kids. 

But the other day, someone did. Badly. And, fair warning, my claws are out.

Shulamith teaches a livestream broadcast class on Thursday evenings. She was upstairs teaching her class, and her kids were outside playing. Swen accidentally left the gate to the backyard unlatched, and their 90-pound Aussie-Shepherd/Poodle escaped. His name is Woof, and let me tell you about him. Woofie is a very nice dog. He's kind, gentle, and protective of the people he loves: his family and close friends. But he's not a fan of other dogs. He tolerates Waffles because they grew up together, but other dogs? No! So Shulamith always, always keeps him on a short leash.

When he escaped Thursday, it happened that a man was passing by with his three little white dogs all on leashes. Woof attacked. Fortunately, the man was strong enough to kick Woof in the face, so no harm was done to his little dogs. No harm was done to anyone. 

And that should have been the end of it. 

Instead, the man proceeded to scream obscenities at the kids, enough that Swen ran upstairs and announced, "Mom, you said only to interrupt your class for an emergency; well, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!" Shulamith excused herself from the broadcast and ran downstairs to find this man still screaming about the incident. She immediately apologized, asking repeatedly if the guy's dogs were okay. A neighbor from eight houses down the street was also there, kindly making sure the kids were alright, but when he saw Shulamith come out, he left, assuming the two adults could handle their business without his interference. 

But this guy was not an adult. At least not emotionally (he is in his mid-20s). When he saw Shulamith, he shifted his abusive language from the situation to her, personally, calling her every foul name you can imagine. He even attacked her religion saying, "Oh, I can see by your clothing that you're one of those awesome Mormons. Great!" The screaming and swearing went on so long and was so loud that the neighbor who had been there earlier heard it all the way from inside his house and came back to make sure everything was okay. Kennedy was so scared that she ran inside crying and called her dad: "A man is screaming and screaming at Mom; I'm afraid he's gonna hurt her!"

At some point, Shulamith texted me what was happening, and asked if I could come over and finish teaching her online class. "Uh, I'm still with Heidi, and my hair is in foils, processing." She'd forgotten about my hair appointment. I felt so helpless! I couldn't leave with my hair in foils, so I had to sit there and visualize this man screaming at Shulamith and scaring her children, and I could do nothing at all to help. The best text message ever came about 20 minutes later: "Matt's home."

Relief flooded my body!! One of the best characteristics of people who enjoy awkward, uncomfortable situations is that they have the amazing ability to stay calm under pressure. And that is a super strength of Matt's. Before he arrived home, the guy had escalated to the point that he called 911 to report Shulamith because she "wouldn't cooperate." 

"911, What's your emergency?

"A dog attacked my dogs."

"Is anyone hurt?"

"No."

"Then, again, what's your emergency?"

"The dog's owner wouldn't give me her dog's shot records. She wouldn't cooperate." (Shulamith had told the guy Woof is fully vaccinated, but she wasn't sure exactly where the records were; she would need to look for them.)

"Is anyone in danger?"

"No."

"So what's your emergency?"

"She isn't apologizing sincerely enough."

"Uh, okay. I'll dispatch an officer when one has time."

By now this had been going on for over an hour, and the guy was still out of control, but Matt was there to respond calmly. "I understand that you're heated, but can we calm down and talk about this?" None of that worked very well until the police officer finally arrived and guess what? The guy had a sudden personally transformation, quit screaming, and behaved respectfully.

The officer took statements from everyone: Shulamith, Matt, the neighbor, and the formerly-screaming guy. In the end, the officer decided the guy was guilty of disorderly conduct, and later that evening, went to his house and issued him a citation. So really, turns out the guy called the police on himself! Karma?

Either way, I now have an enemy in the neighborhood. Forever.

(Note: As we've reflected on this the past few days, we realize that the incident had nothing to do with Shulamith, Woof, or the guy's little dogs. There are so many triggers that could be at the root of it: past trauma, mental illness, substance abuse? We'll likely never know. But we're trying to extend grace best we can. Shulamith is succeeding better than me. No surprise.) 

Coolness! (And why my dog is ruining my life)

Five years ago, Seth was 17 and my final child in high school. He was approaching his senior year, and I was feeling all the feels. It's not easy for me when my children grow up and leave home. I don't like it. I'm happy for them and so proud, of course, but I miss them terribly. So that summer, I made a promise to myself that I would enjoy every single second of Seth's senior year and that nothing would distract me from that time with him. I kept that promise. Seth and I had so much fun! I cherished every choir concert, every awards ceremony, every late-night conversation, every decision we discussed, and of course, both high school and seminary graduations. I even followed his Vocal Ensemble performing group all over the valley! We did all sorts of other fun stuff together (movies, Lagoon, restaurant meals), and just like his older siblings, he evolved into one of my closest friends. 

I've never been great at saying no to my kids, especially when their requests are reasonable and within my power to provide. "Why say no, if you can say yes?" was my motto. But obviously that "reasonable" stipulation flew right out the window with Seth, the baby, the capstone kid. And somewhere in his last year home, he decided he wanted a dog. He talked about it all the time, until finally, I agreed. "I'm not gonna buy an expensive dog, but if you wanna go rescue one from the Humane Society, we can." He did!

This is Waffles. The dumbest dog on the planet. Half Golden Lab and half Chinese Shar-Pei, he's also the goofiest looking dog. But Seth loved him and still does. So why was this not a "reasonable" decision on my part? Because I knew full well that Seth would leave home after graduating, and who would be caring for this dog? Me!! I would be. Less than two months after turning 18 and graduating, Seth left for Paraguay for two years. Paraguay! Then he returned for a few months of COVID quarantine before moving to Orem for college. Waffles became my dog. And can we just say that he is about 1,000 times more in love with me than I am with him. We can. In fact, that's probably an understatement. The dog is obsessed with me. 

He's also ruining my life.

When we first brought him home, home was Angel House, where he had a large, fenced backyard to run freely. He could be outside much of the time, and when he came in, he generally lay on his designated bed in the corner of the family room. Now we live in a townhome, with a tiny back porch, which I paid $1,500 to enclose in order to keep Waffles home. Does it work? Nope! He digs himself out underneath the fence and prances around the neighborhood just so he can get his picture on the Bringhurst Facebook page, captioned "Whose dog is this?" IT'S SETH'S DOG! That's whose dog it is. Ugh!

Second, he sheds like a maniac. Goodness, it never ends. Blond fur everywhere. I only allow him in our finished basement, because no, I can't deal with his shedding all over the upper two floors, but this only works partly, because when we're in the basement, his fur gets all over our clothes and then spreads upstairs. Yes, we have lint rollers. Yes, we use them. No, they never get all the fur.

Finally (and arguably most significant), Waffles broke our air-conditioning unit. Yep, he sure did. This last winter, the coldest one in our 12 years in Utah, when we let him outside on the back porch to go to the bathroom, unbeknownst to us, he chose to do his bathroom business against the air-conditioner, apparently enough to successfully corrode its aluminum fins and copper coils. How much does a new unit cost? $6,000. Awesome. 

These are the reasons my dog is ruining my life. But allow me to seek out the grace in this situation. That's where the coolness comes in. After the coldest, snowiest winter (which I actually enjoyed), this has been the coolest spring and early summer ever. So, so nice. We can still walk comfortably any time of day; those morning breezes and evening rain showers create perfect walking weather. We are loving it!

Also, it's cool enough that I'm still not uncomfortable in my non-air-conditioned house. Let's be clear. I like to be comfortable. At all times. I don't like to be too cold. I don't like to be too hot. I don't like to carry heavy items. I don't like to be blinded by the hot sun. The list goes on. By now, in a typical year, I'd be dying. But this lovely year, the cool temps, breezy days, and evening thunderstorms have made it so, windows wide open and fans on, I am just fine. 

I know it won't last. Summer weather will come sooner than later, and I have no idea what I'll do then; really I don't. But for now, grace abounds. As I sit on my bed upstairs and write, a gentle breeze flows softly across by body, and I am comfortable. And happy.

....even though my dog is ruining my life.

Stanley vs. Simple Modern: A very scientific study

I never win prizes. I never win anything. Remember how my skillset is woefully limited? That's probably why I never win anything; I even suck at rolling dice. But last Wednesday evening I was at a party, and by some serendipitous act of nature, I won one of the best prizes: a brand new Simple Modern 40oz Tumbler. 

Wow. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I love Diet Coke. It's just the best drink ever created. What if there were a cup that would keep my fountain Diet Coke ice cold for long periods of time, the ice not melting? That would be perfection. So a couple years ago, when I heard about the Stanley Tumbler which claimed to do just that, I was intrigued. When I learned the cost of said tumbler, I was aghast! Seriously? $40-$50 dollars for drink container? 

Then Shulamith and Seth gave me a Stanley for Christmas. Worth. Every. Penny. I eventually bought a second one, just so I'd have two. Stanleys are game changing. They have a nice handle and comfortable grip. They hold 40+ ounces of fresh, sparkling Diet Coke, and they keep it cold forever. Okay slight hyperbole. Probably not forever. But a long time. Even in a hot summer car, Stanleys keep your Diet Coke ice cold for hours. 

But what about the competition? Like is there any competition? The answer is yes! The company Simple Modern makes a tumbler similar to the Stanley, so similar that I feel like its label should include the words "Compare to Stanley," like store brand products do in grocery stores. 

In the picture above you can see them side by side, the Stanley on the left and the Simple Modern on the right. I decided to do a very scientific study to compare the two and determine which is better. I've been using my new Simple Modern cup for the past four days, and I'm ready to reveal the results!

Here is the very scientific comparison of the Stanley and Simple Modern tumblers on several criteria:

Weight: Empty, the Simple Modern cup weights slightly less than the Stanley, 1.0 vs. 1.21 lbs, respectively. Filled, though, I don't even notice the difference. Result: Tie

Grip: Both are easy to hold and carry, with a comfortable grip. Result: Tie

Lid: The most obvious difference I've noticed with the Simple Modern is the lid. It screws easily onto the cup, but goes deeper inside than the Stanley does, enough that I had a flood over the top and out the straw the first couple of times I used it. Note to self: Don't fill the Simple Modern all the way to the top the way you can the Stanley. Winner: Stanley

Straw: I have two Stanleys, one with a spill-resistant straw hole and one without. The spill-resistant one definitely spills less than the original, but the Simple Modern cup is nearly spill proof. It has a tight seal around the straw, so even when the cup tips over, very little liquid spills out, if any. Winner: Simple Modern.

Price: Stanley -  $40 - $50. Simple Modern: $20 - $30. Winner: Simple Modern.

Overall, you can't make a wrong choice here. These products are excellent, and I'm glad I have both. I will use them well. 

I never win prizes, but when I do, I win good ones!

Oh yeah. Mother's Day. I almost forgot.

Mother's Day was kinda dwarfed by our trip. That was not the plan. We carefully scheduled our flight to arrive home at 10:30 p.m. Saturday. We would get a good night's sleep (assuming jet lag wasn't too bad), and wake up Sunday morning refreshed. We could attend church with our families, followed by a relaxing afternoon and dinner. Eli and Amanda volunteered to get all the food together and bring it to my house. It was a great plan.

But then, as noted in the previous post, our flight was 2.5 hours delayed out of Rome, causing us to miss both our subsequent connections in Toronto and Chicago. Ugh!! We were told that the earliest we could make it to SLC would be 3:30 p.m. Sunday, and probably not even then because that flight included a 40-minute layover at Dallas/Ft. Worth, which is not nearly long enough even if the flight were on time, and none of our flights had been on time thus far, so...... 

We were so discouraged. Shulamith's kids were literally counting the "sleeps" until her return. My kids maybe weren't counting sleeps (Amanda, were you counting sleeps?), but they definitely wanted me home for Mother's Day. But God is a God of miracles, big and small. And late Saturday night, as we approached the American Airlines customer service kiosk and met two angels in the form of ticket agents, well that was a tiny miracle. Tiny, but meaningful. They handed us boarding passes for an early flight the following morning that would land us in SLC at 11:00 a.m.

We would miss church, but we would be home for the rest of Mother's Day, and indeed we were! There were a couple other fun glitches, including lost luggage that contained my van key zipped inside, leaving us no way to get home from the airport. Eli graciously came and picked us up. 

We were home! After an amazing trip that we will never forget, we were home. Shulamith told her kids she was going to hold them all day, and I think she did!

After we dropped her at her house and drove around the corner to mine, I told Eli I was scared to go inside. I'd been gone 10 days, and I typically do at least 10 hours of home maintenance/cleaning in 10 days, so I expected a disaster. I asked Eli how bad it was, knowing he and Amanda had come over the day before to drop off the food. He was cool as ice: "Uh, I don't know, Mom. Not great?"

I braved up and walked inside. I immediately smelled the lovely scent of clean, you know, that amazing smell of freshly wiped counters, mopped floors, shiny appliances, dust-free furniture, sparkling bathrooms! I was shocked. A lovely rose in a vase sat on the counter with a note from Eli and Amanda explaining that they did some cleaning, so I could return to a happy home. They know me well. It was truly the best Mother's Day surprise. Thank you, Eli and Amanda!

The afternoon was relaxing. I unpacked, showered, and read a book. Once everyone arrived, we ate dinner and just chilled. It was good. I had three of my five kids with me physically, but Seth texted a sweet message from Japan, and Luke texted from Maryland. I know it sometimes sounds cheesy and melodramatic when moms talk about their kids, but that's because language is limited. Motherhood is divine, and it's hard to capture its fullness in words alone. 

So I'll be just as cheesy as the rest of them and tell you that these five people are my whole world. They are my heart. They are the reason I breathe. 

In case you don't know all of them...

This is Dr. Luke Erichsen. He is a psychologist for the Maryland Public School District and a dad to one daughter. He is also the one who made me a mommy!

 

This is Shulamith Webster. She is my only daughter and my BFF in the whole world. She is a full-time mom to three and starting in August, a half-day kindergarten teacher!

This is Isaiah Erichsen. He is world traveler, avid Utah Jazz fan, and political activist. He works as a software engineer and IT specialist for Cvent. He is also the smartest person I know.

This is Eli Webster. He is a 4th grade teacher, horror movie lover, and dada to one little girl (who is basically his twin). His kindness knows no bounds.

This is Seth Erichsen. He will be a senior at UVU this fall, majoring in sociology and criminal justice. He loves music and movies and Japan (where he is right now on a month-long study abroad). He is funny and smart and cares about everyone.