Denial? Send me all the good juju!

Two days from now I'll be on a flight to Houston. After four hours in the airport, I'll board another flight to Newark and then three hours later, another to arrive in Tel Aviv, Israel at 4:30 the following afternoon.

Twenty-five hours of travel. 

Nothing about this seems real.

I've wanted to visit the Holy Land for as long as I can remember. I want to nerd out on scripture (my passion!), sink deeply into my study of Old Testament prophecies and New Testament ministries of Jesus. Intellectually, I can't wait! Emotionally, I'm anxious and tired. I scheduled this trip for May, 2024 but couldn't go because of the war. I rescheduled for this year, and now that the departure day is near, I'm so exhausted that it's hard to muster any excitement. Most of the time I forget it's happening. 

Denial?

It's tricky for me to find windows of time to travel for longer than a few days. I'm tied to the academic calendar, because I teach at two or three schools fall, spring, and summer semesters. Part of the problem this time around is that I'm right in the throes of wrapping up the semester at both SLCC and U. of Utah. Classes end Thursday, and I leave at 7:00 Friday morning. Then I'll have final writing projects from students in all eight classes (around 130 total) pouring in, along with a few smaller assignments, all of which must be graded so that my final grades are submitted on time. "On time" means before I even leave to fly home from Jordan, my second destination. In addition, one of my summer classes (online) begins three days before I return, so I also need to get that up and running.

It's not ideal. 

My stress over mounds of school work while prepping for an international trip of this magnitude has kept me up too many nights. I sleep four or five hours, then wake with crippling anxiety about all the things I need to do (and some make-believe things I don't need to do). Sometimes, I get up and grade papers. Other times, I lie in bed awake until 6:00 a.m., a respectable time to get up, then go downstairs to work out. Occasionally, I actually fall back to sleep; those are the glory days, and I credit God every single time they happen!

I'm also super anxious about leaving my family for 13 days. When I tell people this, they look at me like I'm bananas. I guess that's because my youngest kid is 24, so people think I don't need to worry about my family. Wrong! I will be on the other side of the world. What if one of them needs me? They often do. Also, they are my primary support network. What if I need them? 

Well this is going downhill fast, so I'll stop writing and return to grading. Thanks for listening! Send me all the prayers, good juju, positive vibes that you have. Look for trip updates on socials through the next couple of weeks, and blog posts after I'm back. 

Take care, everyone! Eeeeeeeeek!

Birthday wishes granted!

You have only to glance around my house for five seconds to find something beautiful that Amanda created. Or something she installed or repaired or assembled. From the floating shelves in my living room to the three TVs (one on each level of my house) to my treadmill in the basement, Amanda has basically set up my entire house. I should point out that some of these tasks required more than one set of hands, and she's had fabulous help from Eli or Shulamith or both! But she is the brain behind the projects always.

Last October, as my birthday approached, she asked if instead of a traditional present, I would like her to set aside a day to come over and do all my home projects that have piled up.

Uh, yes!

I began my "birthday wishes" list immediately. The chaos of life left us struggling to schedule this day for nearly six months, but that just gave me more time to grow my list of projects. We finally made it happen this past Saturday. Eli works Saturdays, so Shulamith and I took Jane out shopping, giving Amanda uninterrupted time at my house. The results were amazing. She completed every item on my list in record time. Let me just tell you all the stuff she did:

1. Put WD-40 on my garage door opener, so it no longer sounds like someone is dying a slow and painful death every time it cycles.

2. Replaced the battery in my garage door remote, so I can once again open my garage door from my car. (I know what you're thinking: "Can't she even replace a simple battery?" No, I can't. Not this one anyway. If you'd like to know more about my woefully limited skillset, read this.)

3. Painted the red scuffs on the garage rim, from a mishap with a red car backing out.

4. Touched up the navy blue paint scratches on all my kitchen cabinets. If you want to see how beautiful they look, check out the photo above.

5. Added two bags of salt to my water softener. Yes, I can do this myself, and I have, but I really don't like to.

6. Touched up interior paint on scrapes and scratches on walls and baseboards throughout all three levels of the house.

7. Tightened all loose doorknobs.

8. Set up my beautiful, new smart monitor that Gerald gave me for Christmas.

9. Tightened screws on my workout bench so it doesn't wobble.

10. Hung picture in basement. (I'm trying to get my basement to be more homey and inviting, and this was a great start.)

11. Attached my new(ish) Smart Number bed to my old headboard. This was a complicated process, which I don't even understand, but it's done, so hooray!

Everywhere I look, there is something she did, and it all makes me very happy. Everyone should have an Amanda in their life, but you'll have to find your own. This one is mine.

My Wednesday mornings will begin later now. I'm sad.

Typically on Tuesday nights, I get a text from Shulamith shortly before I go to bed: "Pick you up at 5:55 a.m.?" 

Ugh.

Yes, I do cringe every week when I read that text. I love my sleep. I love to wake up around 7:00ish, hurkle-durkle in bed while browsing my phone for 15-20 minutes, then go down to my gym to work out, with plenty of time to shower and be at school for a 10:00 class. Instead, on Wednesday mornings, I set my alarm for 5:45 a.m., giving me just enough time to get up, dress, brush teeth, and pull my hair into a pony. By then Shulamith is already parked in front of my house, texting "Here."

We drive the two minutes up to Origin Fitness Syndicate for our circuit strength training class with Courtney. It's hard. It's always hard. By far the hardest workout of my week. Sometimes as we walk into the gym, one of us whines, "I'm don't think I wanna do this today." But always, always when we walk out at 6:50, we feel happy. All those marvelous endorphins are doing their job, and we feel so great, like we've overcome the world! It's the most satisfying feeling! 

I need to offer a giant shoutout to Courtney. She is a fabulous teacher, trainer, and human. She is kind and supportive, yet manages to get me to do stuff I never thought I could do. "You can go heavier." (Can I, though?) And then I do. Though I began strength training about a year and a half ago, my progress has increased exponentially in the ten months I've had the opportunity to work with Courtney. The only problem is that other people don't seem to want to get up at 6:00 a.m. and join us, so while it's supposed to be a circuit training class, 90% of the time, it's just Shulamith and I who attend. 

And that is not enough people. This past week, the owner of the gym told Courtney that our Wednesday, 6:00 a.m. class is now canceled. I get it. Two people does not a class make. So I'm back on my own, as I am all the other days besides Wednesdays, and Shulamith found us a great app ("Sadie Active"). But I already miss that one ultra-challenging morning. I need to find a replacement for it, and I will. But, no, I don't think I'll ever be able to replace Courtney.

My Wednesday mornings will begin later now. I'm sad. 

Springing into break! (And showing up at the barricade)

Thursday at 11:20 a.m., I left the Herriman campus of Salt Lake Community College. I'm always happy to leave on Thursdays because it means my weekend has begun, but this week, let's just say my happiness was compounded, as this coming week is spring break at both my schools. Since I began teaching at multiple schools nine years ago, this has never happened. Never before has spring break at all my schools aligned. I always tell myself it's fine, that it's nice to have two or three "lighter" weeks. And it is. But seriously, the thought of not teaching anyone anything for the next 10 days....well let's just say I found myself springing into break with wild abandon.

Then I got this crazy idea that if I were to work so hard Thursday afternoon and all day Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, maybe I could catch up on grading and do nothing Monday - Friday connected to work. Hmmm? Would that even be possible? And it might have been, if my weekend had been free. But then I remembered that I was going to the Broadway touring production of Les Mis at Eccles Saturday afternoon with Isaiah. How did that slip my mind? Les Mis is my favorite musical, tied with Hadestown. 

So I worked hard Thursday and Friday, really hard, but I'm nowhere near caught up, so no, I won't get any break from grading, and I'm feeling a little less "springy" as a result. However, yesterday was pure delight to see Les Mis with Isaiah, followed by a delicious dinner. The show was fabulous in every way. I know the show inside out, and I still cried almost from the start in the scene with the Bishop, right through to the end when Fantine returns, and we hear the reprise, "Take my hand, and lead me to salvation. Take my love, for love is everlasting. And remember, the truth that once was spoken: to love another person is to see the face of God."

I wept for Fantine. I wept for Eponine. I wept for Javert. I wept for Jean Valjean. They don't call it Les Miserables for nothing, But I also felt joy! With all its suffering, this show, more than most, touches our hearts with the possibility of redemption, forgiveness, grace, and love. It also teaches us to show up for each other and for what is right. To show up at the barricade. I wonder how we can do that today, in these troubled times.

After the show, Isaiah and I walked the streets of downtown SLC, waiting for his favorite Italian restaurant to open for dinner. We talked about the pain and suffering raining down upon our nation and its allies because of the corruption and evil of the current administration. We talked about how helpless we feel, how we're pierced with the conviction to do something, but what?

During dinner, conversation shifted to other topics: latest family news, his upcoming trips (Taiwan in April!), his dating life (a tiny glimpse, but I'll take it!), and his satisfaction with his new position at Cvent. And of course we talked about the brilliance of the show we just watched. Isaiah has grown to love the theatre and the Broadway stage almost as much as Shulamith and me. But our focus always returned to the chaos that is our country. Never before have we been embarrassed to be Americans. It's heartbreaking, 

In the end we decided that if nothing else, we can make our voices heard. We can show up at the barricade. The bishop showed up for Jean Valjean; Fantine showed up for her daughter; Eponine showed up for Marius; Valjean showed up for everyone! Even Javert showed up for his convictions, sad and misguided though they were. And though our circumstances are different from theirs, the need to stand for what is right is not. Silence is not an option. Complacency is not an option. There is way too much at risk; there is way too much to lose.

"Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me?                                                            Beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see?"

Beyond the barricade there is a nation I long to see, a nation founded upon the principles of democracy, not dictatorship. There is a nation where no one is above the law, and where a balance of power prevents tyranny. There is a nation that honors the words written on its Statue located on Liberty Island: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." There is a nation where all are welcomed, valued and affirmed as children of God, regardless of race, gender, national origin, immigration status, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, or socioeconomic status. 

This is the nation I long to see. This is the nation I will stand for. My hero Senator Bernie Sanders is 83 years old. He could be sitting on a beach somewhere, sipping pina coladas with his wife. Instead, he's traveling from state to state, speaking out everywhere, doing all within this power to save the country from the stronghold of evil that seeks to destroy it. 

I don't have Bernie's influence or voice, but I can still make my voice heard, however small. 

I will show up at the barricade. Isaiah will too.

If an assignment seems like too much work, maybe just don't do it.

At 4:00 yesterday afternoon, Shulamith received an email from Swen's 7th grade teacher. It was a group email sent to parents of all the kids in the class, reminding them that their kids had a big family history assignment due the following day, one that is worth a lot of points toward their final grade. This was news to Shulamith, so she went right upstairs to ask Swen about it.

Shulamith: Ms. Jacobs emailed to remind us that you have a big family history assignment due tomorrow. How's that coming?

Swen: Oh, that sounded like way too much work, so I decided not to do it.

If you are laughing right now, it's either because you know Swen, or you know a kid like him. If an assignment seems like too much work, maybe just don't do it.

Fortunately, Shulamith is the the kindest mom on the planet and likely laughed at Swen's response (just like you did, and I KNOW you did!). Then she went right to work to help him!

The assignment involved finding someone from your family history and learning all about them, then creating some sort of electronic poster to present the information you find. Kennedy, the Canva expert, joined the task force and began to look for a template. 

You may call this coincidence or luck or whatever, but I'm gonna call it one of my favorite scenarios: Jesus in the details! It just so happened that only a day before, Swen had visited a family history center with his church group (called Young Men's, though none of the kids in it are actually men, young or otherwise. They are just boys). Swen came away thoroughly disgusted with his mom and me. Here is the laminated family history chart he brought home:

Swen (to Shulamith): Look at this chart! Just look at it! On Grandma and Grandpa's side, there are names. All the boxes are filled in with names of people in their family. But look at Her's side. Nothing. Nothing but blank boxes. Her's mom is still ALIVE, and SHE isn't even on here. You and Her have done nothing!

Noted. 

Yeah, family history....not really my vibe. Or Shulamith's.

But it wasn't lost on me that maybe we're not so different from Swen. This seems like an awful lot of work. And when something seems like too much work, maybe just don't do it.

(P.S. for those wondering, Swen found some guy from the Monsons' side of the family and, with Kennedy's help, made a lovely poster on Canva. Hooray!)

Theodore's Themes - Part VII

 

158. Shulamith: Theodore, Her told me that when you slept at her house, all she gave you for breakfast was mints and Diet Coke.

Theodore: Yes! Her asked me what I wanted for breakfast, and I told her mints and Diet Coke, so that's what she gave me.

159. Theodore and Kennedy stayed overnight here last week. Swen was at diabetes camp, and Shulamith and Matt were celebrating their anniversary. The two of them have never spent the night here together, only separately. Kennedy was very concerned that Theodore would keep her awake all night because the tends to roll around in his sleep.

Kennedy: You are not sleeping in the middle between Her and me. You can sleep in the floor.

Theodore: I'm gonna sleep in the middle and roll back and forth from one side to the other.

160. I dropped Theodore off at school late one morning last week.

Me: Okay, just go into the office. They'll say "Hi, Theodore!" and they'll check you in and tell you to do to your class.

Theodore: They wont't say "Hi Theodore." There are 800 kids at my school, so they don't know my name. 

161. When a picture speaks a thousand words:

162. Theodore: Can I sleep at Her's house tonight?

Shulamith: Yep, as long as you take church clothes so you can ride to church with Her.

Theodore: Never mind. I want to go to church late.

(I always go to church on time. The Webster-Monsons? Not so much.)

163. Theodore recently got Phase 1 braces to help prepare his teeth for Phase 2 when all his permanent teeth are in. The expander in his mouth has been challenging for him to adjust to; food routinely gets caught up underneath, making Theodore panic. Poor little guy. He's only 8. He and Shulamith have been praying nightly that Theodore will adjust to his braces (especially the expander) and be able to eat normally. This past week, on out Alaska cruise, Theodore and Seth were comparing each other's pain, as Seth also had an expander back when he had braces. He said he lost 5 lbs. the first week he had it because it was too hard to eat. Later that night, he talked about it with Shulamith.

Shulamith: Theodore, you're going way better than Seth did. He lost 5 lbs. because didn't eat much for a whole week. You were doing pretty well eating after only a couple days.

Theodore: I think that's because Seth didn't remember to pray about it.

164. Me (in Target): Let's go look at clothes for school.

Theodore (heading to the toy aisle): I don't want to look at clothes.

Me: But you need clothes to cover your body.

Theodore: I have on clothes that cover my body.

165. Apparently, though none of us remember anything about this, Theodore found himself lost on the ship at some point during our recent Alaska cruise.

Theodore: Mom, we were in a store, and you all left me, but then I walked out and saw Seth. Seth saved my life!

166. Jane and Theodore were in a discussion about human growth and how Jane will become 4.

Jane: I will eat lots of healthy food, and then I will turn into 4.

Theodore: No. The days will go by for a year, and then you will just turn into 4. That's how it works.

Kennedy says - Part IX

 

119. As long as Kennedy has danced, she has been given the "lift" parts. That means that at some point in most of her dances, two people lift her up high as she does a dance move. But last night, in one of her dances, another girl was chosen to do the lift. Kennedy is not happy about this.

Kennedy (after she got home): This so so unfair!

Shulamith: What isn't fair?

Kennedy: Another girl gets to do the lift. I ALWAYS do the lift.

Shulamith: But isn't it fair because other girls should also get their turns to do the lifts?

Kennedy: NO! What's not fair is letting me do the lift every single time and then just suddenly taking it away from me.

120. Kennedy was exhausted this morning. It's a crazy busy week for her preparing for an opt-in dance performance next week, while taking her regular company classes. She did not want to get up and ready for school.

Kennedy: Why is school at 9:00? That is way too early. What kind of people would make a school where kids have to go there at 9:00 in the morning?

121. Kennedy auditioned for her dance company's spring performance of Hansel & Gretel. She is now (im)patiently awaiting the email that announces everyone's roles.

Kennedy: If other girls in my company get lead parts and I don't, I will NOT run up and congratulate them at our next class. I will not tell them I'm happy for them. I. will just sit in the corner and cry. And think about how I want to go trip them. 

122. Kennedy is sometimes a bit out of sorts when her mom drops her at dance these summer mornings. She's always sleepy because her mom had to wake her up. When they arrived at dance yesterday...

Kennedy: I'm not going in if I don't see someone from my class. I don't want to be the only one there.

Shulamith: Look! There's a girl from your class walking in now.

Kennedy: I hate her!

Shulamith: Why?

Kennedy: Because her dancing sucks!

123. We just returned from a week-long Alaska cruise, during which Jane stayed glued to Kennedy about 90% of the time. Jane is skilled at controlling what Kennedy does, under serious threats. 

Jane: If you don't do [xyz], I won't play with you anymore.

Me: Kennedy, you don't have to let Jane control you. You know her threat won't ever actually happen. 

Kennedy: Oh it will. She's done it before.

124. Kennedy: Jane made me eat fries on the cruise, even though I don't like them. 

Shulamith: Why did you do it? You don't have to do everything Jane tells you to do.

Kennedy: She told me she wouldn't love me anymore if I didn't eat them. She wouldn't love me but only love Theodore.

125. Kennedy goes to dance class four nights a week, and more than that when her company is preparing for a performance. Shulamith tries her best to do everything Kennedy wants her to do, but sometimes, Kennedy has to step up and do some things herself, such as her hair. For ballet, that means a bun. Kennedy strongly prefers that Shulamith put her hair into a bun;  however, one day a week, that's just not possible. 

Shulamith: Okay, tomorrow's Wednesday, so I'll pick up you and Ronan at school and take you right to dance. Be sure you pack your dance bag with your hair stuff, so you can change and do your hair after I drop you off and before ballet starts.

Kennedy: Mom! How's this gonna even work?!?! Am I gonna have to do my own hair every week???

125: Shulamith: This weekend I want to teach you how to do your own laundry.

Kennedy: No.

Shulamith: What will you do when you go away to college and don't know how to do your laundry?

Kennedy: My roommate will do it.

126. Shulamith: Kennedy, I don't have the kind of [any food item] you like.

Kennedy: That's okay. 

Shulamith: But you need to eat something.

Kennedy: That's okay.

Shulamith: I don't want you to be hungry at dance.

Kennedy: That's okay.

Shulamith: If you don't eat something, we could be late for dance.

Kennedy: That's NOT okay.