Tattoo or Bungee Jumping? Yeah, Neither!

With our first couple of children, we parents live in anxious anticipation of each new stage. We encourage them to sit up, crawl, walk, talk, etc. just as soon as they are able. It's so crazy thrilling to see each new developmental milestone that we are in an awful hurry. By the fifth child, however, it is a bit different. By now, we know how fast time passes. We know they don't stay little nearly long enough. We've experienced first hand the heart-wrenching goodbyes as they head off to school for the first time. We have so much more perspective, and we are in no rush. It's not that we don't want them to grow; of course we do. But there's certainly no need to hurry.

Pictured above is my fifth child, my very last baby. The significance of this photo is that it demonstrates so clearly, whether I wish to admit it or not, that he is just about as tall as I am. And in case you're wondering, that's just wrong! As of last year, I no longer have a kid in elementary school, I no longer have a kid in Primary, and as of right now, I no longer have a kid who is shorter than I. Are you kidding me? I feel like screaming at the universe: "What is your deal? I am a mom of little kids!" Seth will be 13 in less than two weeks. A teenager! I don't even know what to say about that, so maybe I won't say anything.

Today, while I was lamenting this tale of woe to Shulamith, she had  a couple ridiculous suggestions. She thinks maybe I should do something new, something adventurous, something crazy, in order to take my attention away from Seth turning 13 and growing to be 5'5". "I think you should get a tattoo or something!" Or something? Because don't you either get a tattoo or not get one? And truth is, I have ZERO interest in getting a tattoo. In fact, I have less than zero interest. "Maybe you should go bungee jumping?" What? Is she delusional? Okay, I'd sooner go bungee jumping than get a tattoo, but no. No!

Still, it's no lie that watching this last one grow up isn't easy for me. My students recently read a number of articles on happiness, in order to compare and contrast the authors' perspectives in an essay. Though the articles disagreed on various minor points, there was huge consensus in several areas. For one, so long as basic, essential needs are met, money or socioeconomic status has nothing to do with happiness. Neither do educational achievements or geographical location. What does make people happy? A few fairly basic things. Married people, overall, are happier than single people. Religious people tend to be happier than non-religious. In general, men's happiness depends more on their jobs while women's happiness depends more on their relationships. But the absolute weirdest finding was how happiness relates to age. According to one article, the happiest people on earth are those in their 80s. Very young adults are the next happiest; they are still optimistic and see all the opportunities life has to offer. But once they get into their late 20s and are burdened down with jobs, bills, kids, and more bills, that happiness level decreases steadily, clear until they reach age 50 or so, when it once again starts to increase, steadily, until their 80s, when they are running around in a state of utter euphoria.

One of my students suggested that "of course, 80-year-olds are happy; everyone they owe money to is dead." Well, yes, there's that. I don't know about you guys, but I am obviously not typical. Aside from the fear that my 80-year-old body would not look good in cute, stylish clothes, I cannot imagine being that blissfully happy at 80 because all my kids would be grown and gone. Perhaps it's not popular or even politically correct to say this, but happiness to me equals a houseful of kids. That's the way I like it. If I didn't feel that way, I wouldn't have had so many or spread them out over so many years. And though we still have five wonderful years left with Seth at home, that foreboding empty nest to come looms over me. What if, though I'm still so young, the best years are already behind me? I'm sure there are things to look forward to; I'm sure there probably are, but nothing really compares to the joy of life with all the kids at home, at least in my opinion.

I will work through this. I will figure it all out. I will. And let me reassure you; I will do it without any tattoos or bungee jumping.  :-)