How My Children Will Do It Differently

As parents we strive to be everything to our kids, everything they could ever need in order to grow and develop to their potential. We seek to empower, ennoble, and enlighten them. We worry incessantly. What if what we're doing isn't enough? What if it's too much? What are we doing today that will be the topic of their therapy sessions 20 years from now? Ahhhhh!

But here's the thing. Regardless of what we do, our children will at some point need to find ways to resist. This is actually a wholly natural and necessary part of maturation. They will seek out ways not to be like us, and those choices will matter to them. "When I'm a parent, I will never _________________________." We all said it. Why wouldn't they?

I was thinking about this today, and here is what I came up with. Only time will tell if my predictions are correct.

How My Children Will Do It Differently

1.  My children (or at least some of them) will probably be chronically late. Why? Because I cannot stand to be late. I am obsessively punctual, and I insist they are too. For example, Seth is supposed to arrive at church thirty minutes early in order to prepare the Sacrament. How long does this job take? About ten minutes. When do the other members of his quorum show up? Between five and ten minutes before the meeting begins, and sometimes not even then. When does Seth arrive? Thirty minutes before the meeting. I make sure of it. So he spends ten minutes preparing the Sacrament and then sits in the chapel by himself for twenty minutes. But he is on time for his responsibility. And I am happy.

2.  My children (or at least some of them) will probably keep messy houses. Why? Because I loathe a messy house. I thrive in order and tidiness, and my anxiety skyrockets in clutter. They have grown up with a mom who tries desperately to get them to care about about tidiness, in most cases, against their very natures.

3.  My children (or at least some of them) will probably not worry about getting fatal diseases. To be fair, my worry stems from a very real clinical anxiety disorder; however, my children have lived this hot mess long enough that I'm pretty sure not one of them will ever worry about dying.

4.  My children (or at least some of them) will probably have family dinners together at the dining table, more often than on Thanksgiving and Easter and when the missionaries come over. I've written about this before, but suffice it to say that while I totally understand the value in this, we just don't do it. We are extremely casual about meals.

5. And finally, my children (or at least some of them) will probably love growing older. They will embrace each passing year with joy and no angst. They will not lie about their age, their wedding date, their parents' ages, or their children's ages. No explanation needed on this one. Ha! 

We try to be the best parents we can possibly be. We know we're not perfect, but with sober awareness, we recognize the massive responsibility placed in our hands as we have the honor to raise Heavenly Father's children. We hope and pray they will choose to embrace the values we try so hard to model. And fortunately, most of them do. But even so, no doubt on some smaller issues, they will resist. In an effort to establish their own identities, they will find ways not to be like us.

These are some ways I expect my children will do it differently.