You only need to breathe the words, and some sort of response follows. For many, it's negative. Lots of people really don't like Vegas for a number of valid reasons. I often remark that we are the most unlikely Vegas tourists ever; we neither drink nor gamble, so as Amanda asked me yesterday, "What do you guys even do there?"
I think I enjoy Las Vegas for two reasons: (1) nostalgia and (2) variety. I've been there many times through the years, so my memories literally span decades. When I was a kid, I went to Vegas for dance competitions. Then when Shulamith was a kid, she and I went there for her dance competitions. I've been there with Gerald for his work events, and more recently Shulmith and I have done two girls' Vegas weekends. Lots of fun memories! Also, the city offers such a dramatic change from everything that is my regular world. It's sort of like going to another universe, and for whatever reason, I like that.
This past week, Gerald and I added to my Vegas memories. We flew down early Tuesday morning and returned Thursday night. I thought I was booking a reasonable flight time of 8:30, but I didn't figure in the Trax commute to the airport or the recommendation to arrive 90 minutes early. Just to be clear, my body does not enjoy waking up before 7:30 a.m., so it resisted mightily when my alarm sounded at 5:30. Noooooo!
It was a relaxing couple of days, but I came away with some questions:
1. What is the deal with Pepsi products only, almost everywhere?
Seriously. Practically everywhere, including the Monte Carlo Hotel where we stayed, offered only Pepsi. Ugh! What are these people thinking? My only salvation was the beautiful Coca-Cola store located directly across the street. Ask Gerald how many trips he made there over the course of three days.
2. Why is alcohol okay but Diet Coke not? And would you like to sign up for my Business Writing class this semester, Mean Bus Driver?
So Gerald bought us 3-day passes on the Deuce bus line, which was the best purchase ever. These double-decker buses run up and down the strip every 15 minutes, 24 hours a day. We rode them everywhere, and they were extremely convenient. However! On one of our many rides, we were next to this group of six people, who were noticeably intoxicated. It was only about 10:00 a.m., and all of them carried these big, long, tube-style containers filled with their alcoholic beverage of choice. They were loud and annoying, but hey, we were in Vegas, so yeah, this didn't really bother me until later in the day.
We stopped by my favorite Coca-Cola store, and I got a delicious, 32-ounce fountain Diet Coke on ice, and we headed for the bus stop. The bus arrived momentarily, but as we tried to board, the mean driver yelled at me, "No drinks on the bus!" Really? Only a couple hours before, six drunk passengers carried big containers of alcohol, but I can't quietly sip my Diet Coke? Rude. Also, Mean Bus Diver, have you ever heard of you-attitude and positive emphasis? I'm guessing not. May I recommend my ENG 220 Business Writing class this upcoming semester? We have spaces open in both online sections. As a preview, let me show you how to improve your tone for decent you-attitude: "In order to keep the buses clean for all customers, please enjoy your beverage before boarding the bus."
3. Why is so much of life, and death, a lesson in sad irony?
We struggled to decide what show to see. My favorite is always Celine Dion, but I saw her five years ago with Shulamith, and I decided to wait for Shulamith to see her again. We wound up choosing a tribute show called Legends, with performance tributes to now-deceased superstars Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Michael Jackson, and of course, Elvis. Each performer did an excellent job impersonating his or her "legend," and the show was entertaining from start to finish.
The show was at the Flamingo Hotel, the same venue as the Donny & Marie Show. That got me thinking about two famous families. Both Donny Osmond and Michael Jackson were child stars in the late 60s and early 70s. They were friends even, as they navigated the path of stardom at such young ages. Now, nearly a half century later, someone is pretending to be Michael Jackson on the same stage that, only a few hours later, the real Donny Osmond would perform. All four "legends" in the show we saw left us far too early, the result of issues with drugs and/or alcohol. So much talent gone so prematurely.
4. What makes a perfect crepe?
Well, first, pronouncing it correctly, with a short /e/, not a long /a/. Second, adding fresh raspberries and lemon curd with fluffy whipped cream. It was so delicious that we went to the same little restaurant in the New York, New York Hotel both mornings.
5. Isaiah! Why didn't you tell me about the mostly-naked people here?
Isaiah spends multiple weeks each year in Las Vegas for his job. Every time he goes, he comes home and tells me I need to go to Fremont Street and something called the "Fremont Street Experience." What he failed to mention is that on this particular street, people don't think they need to wear clothes. Or very few. I have to admit, it was a fun place to visit (remember how I like the "other universe"?), but come on, Isaiah, you might have mentioned this one detail.
6. How do you ruin a perfectly good milkshake?
Infuse it with alcohol. Nope, I'm not kidding. Outside our hotel was a little ice cream shop called "The Creamery." Instead of dinner one night, we got giant waffle cones filled with rich ice cream and (in my case) crumbled Heath bar on top. Also on the menu was a whole list of alcohol-infused milkshakes. Not much surprises me, but alcohol in a milkshake? Why?
And finally, here I am on Fremont Street, with no naked people in the background. Fortunately.
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