Such an experience occurred on Saturday. I left early in the morning with my computer and school bag and landed in my favorite booth at my place of personal refuge when I need to get school work done: Corner Bakery at Fashion Place Mall. Free from the distractions of family and fortified with a never-ending supply of Diet Coke on tap, I can pound out work faster there than anywhere else.
And pound it out I did. Lots and lots of work. I barely noticed the hours passing until Shulamith came to visit me at nearly 2:00 p.m.! We ate a pumpkin muffin (her) and a lemon/blueberry hand pie (me), and talked about the mundane things of life as we do every day, along with more interesting topics like my trip to Thailand (or Japan? I'm not sure yet) to visit Isaiah when he's traveling in Asia next summer.
She left, and I considered what I would do next work-wise, when I happened to open my Fitbit app.
Eight hundred ninety-two steps! I'm not even kidding. It was the middle of the afternoon, and I had spent six hours sitting in a booth, not moving. I had wasted the better part of a beautiful fall day reading Request for Adjustment and Negative Reply letters, millions of them it felt like, and taken just 892 steps! Well, I closed my laptop right that second, gathered my stuff, and went home.
As I quickly changed into running shoes, grabbed my headphones and headed out the door for a long power walk, the thought came to me, "I'll listen to Christmas music. That's what I'll do. Cuz I'm an adult. And I can."
Granted it was still four days before Halloween, my self-imposed earliest day for holiday music, but whatever. I needed a boost. Not only had I just worked for six hours on a Saturday doing my "part time job," but tomorrow was Sunday, and I'd need to go to church in the new ward. Friends, this still isn't easy. It's only been a little over a month, so the growing pains of change are still very real. It won't always feel like this. One day it will feel like it's really our ward. One day we won't feel like visitors. One day we'll all have callings and fit right in. Oooh...this: One day (soon? maybe? hoping?) I'll get to speak in Sacrament Meeting!
One day. But not yet. It's a surreal experience. We meet in our very own building, so familiar. But then we sit in the chapel and look across the aisle, and instead of seeing Amy and Kevin and kids, or a few rows up, Kayla and Spencer and kids, or Kara or Katie or Caitlin or Emily B. or Nichole and their families, there's a giant sea of unfamiliar faces, a room full of strangers. They are all so nice and are trying so hard to welcome us, but what can they really do? There are so many of them and only just a few of us sprinkled among them. It is what it is.
So yeah, I needed a boost to mentally prepare for the next day, to get my "positive" on and focus on the Savior and why I go to church in the first place, rather than thinking about how much I would miss my ward family. The answer to that? Christmas music! Just like that, without even the slightest guilt, I switched my Spotify to my Christmas station, put on my headphones, and did five miles. Woo!
It was lovely. And honestly, church the next day was good too. In Relief Society, they played Family Feud, and they let the four of us from 6th Ward be one team, and oooh, it felt nice to participate. Emily L. and I joined the ward choir, Emily because she sings like an angel, I because I'm desperate to make some sort of connection. The choir is preparing for the Christmas program, so yay, more Christmas music.
When I was a young adult, I got fast food nearly every day; I still eat out a lot, certainly more than I cook at home. And Saturday, I started listening to Christmas music four days early.
Cuz I'm an adult. And I can.
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