The Christmas Letter: Cool or annoying?

Do you send out a Christmas letter? Or just a card? Or nothing? Or does it depend on the year? Do you have a strong opinion on the subject? As I began the process of crafting this year's greeting from the Erichsen-Websters, I pondered these questions. And the memories came.

Growing up, my grandma received many, many Christmas cards and letters. My grandpa was the president of the International Woodworkers of America, a labor union that spanned the U.S. and Canada, and in that role, he met many famous people, especially political figures. The two of them attended presidential inaugurations and the inaugural balls for both Presidents Kennedy and Johnson, and my grandpa knew many senators, congressmen, and governors personally. As a result, they received a crap load of Christmas cards, and even after he passed away, she continued to receive these for the 20 years she outlived him.

One in particular came from a lady named Maude Ballard. Her husband, Claude (yep, Maude and Claude; you can't make this stuff up) worked with my grandpa at the IWA, so they were all close friends. But Maude's Christmas letter!! Oh. My. Goodness.

First, it was between five and seven seven pages long, single spaced. Need I say more?

Okay, I'll say more. Second, every year, the letter included a detailed report of their health. From a little sniffle to annoying hemorrhoids to (eventually) Claude's dementia, it was all there, raw and real. Page after page, paragraph after paragraph, we learned every single minutiae of their medical history for the year.

And it was so funny. At least to a little kid. It became tradition for my grandma, my mom, and me to gather as soon as possible after the letter arrived. Grandma would call us to report: "The Maude Ballard letter is here!" I had the honor of reading it aloud to the two of them as we sat in Grandma's bedroom, and we'd laugh to the point of crying. It would take at least an hour to get through it because of the many pauses for hysterical, belly-busting laughter.

I remember thinking to myself, "When I grow up, I'll send out a Christmas letter, but it won't be this long, and it definitely won't be this embarrassing!"

Then I grew up. And kept that promise.

I have sent out a Christmas greeting with some sort of letter every year since Gerald and I were married. In the early days, before word processing was a thing, I typed it on an electric typewriter. Much harder to revise, these letters were mostly reports of our year, what the kids were up to, and our lives as parents. As time progressed, I grew more creative. With the advent of modern technology, revision became pleasure rather than punishment, and playing with the Christmas letter became my passion.

I can't begin to remember all the different formats I've used, and I worry that one year I'll run out of new ideas, but you can breathe. I've already drafted the 2019 letter, so we're okay this time around.

My very favorite one was in 2014, when I rewrote the poem "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" with the story of our year. Remember? Would you like to see it again? Here it is!

Some people have strong feelings about Christmas letters, both pro and con. I've heard comments such as "I detest those stupid letters. They're just an excuse to brag about your kids." But then I've also heard, "What I hate most is when people just send a dumb card, with 'Merry Christmas' and their names and no other information. What a waste of postage."

Haha. I guess you can't please all the people...

As for me, I'll continue to send a Christmas letter each year. Some traditions can't be broken. My thanks to Maude Ballard and my grandma, who are partyin' hard in heaven. I wonder if Maude still writes those five-page letters. And if Grandma still reads them.