As you risk your own health to go to work each day, the rest of us stay at home, quarantined, sheltering in place. We isolate ourselves from every opportunity to contract this virus. And we complain a lot. It's hard. We are inconvenienced. But we are the lucky ones. And we are grateful to you who must go to work, humbly and profoundly grateful.
As I was grading papers and answering emails today, a student inquired about my well-being. This happens fairly often now that all my classes have shifted online. Students ask me how I'm doing; they hope I'm safe and well. It's touching really, because I think they mean it. I think they are genuinely concerned. We spent two-thirds of the semester together, and then suddenly no more. Now we communicate only remotely. This student's question caused me to reflect more deeply on my own unique set of circumstances:
"What are you doing to stay sane?" she wanted to know.
Hmmm? Well, some would argue that, even under normal circumstances, my sanity is questionable. Anxiety as bad as mine most definitely qualifies as mental illness. That said, I remain functional most of the time. I've even had people tell me they can't believe I suffer from debilitating anxiety because I always seem so "together." Which is hilarious. They should have stopped by at, say, 3:00 a.m. this past Sunday morning when I was up pacing the floor, deep breathing (just to make sure I could), taking my temperature (97.4), stressing over a potential collapse of the housing market, along with being overwhelmed with fear that a person very important in my life doesn't like me anymore.
Yep, it was just that awesome. You can be grateful for social distancing. You can stay away from this madness.
My student's question led me to a few interesting insights, though, so I'm glad she asked. What am I doing to stay sane?
Buying stuff. Not a lot of stuff, but a little stuff. Like I bought a new Kortni Jeane bathing suit to give myself hope that we will get to go swimming this summer. And I bought some new makeup. I also bought two new dresses from a wicked sale at Old Navy, both for just $24. They provide hope that one day, I'll have reason to wear a dress again. Here's one:
Walking more. Yes, I always walk. I love to walk. Everyone who knows me, knows that. It's the best way to reduce anxiety since I choose not to use medication. It's good for both brain and body. I honestly can't think of a single negative consequence from walking. These days, though, with so much time spent indoors, it's way harder to get my daily 10,000 steps. Back in the day (say, 2.5 months ago), if I did one dedicated walk of 4,000 steps and then just went through my regular routine, by the end of that day, I'd have my 10,000. Now I'm lucky to reach 6,000 with just that one dedicated walk, which means that in an entire day at home, I'm only walking around 2,000 steps. Yikes!
I guess sitting in my bed reading or blogging or doing online school, and sitting in my recliner binging Netflix make for a horribly sedentary lifestyle. Not good! I decided early on in this quarantine that there is no reason for me not to meet my goal of 10,000 daily steps. Seriously, what else do I have to do? My appointment calendar is blank. My part time job is completely online. To accomplish this, I need two substantive dedicated walks daily, one in the morning and one in the afternoon or evening. I try to do a bit of school work right when I wake up and then get out for my first walk. Sometimes Emily is able to go with me, she and her two babies in the double stroller six feet to the side of me. Other times I go alone. Then later in the day, Seth and I do my second walk.
Playing Dominion. Once upon a time, Isaiah got all into this board game called Dominion. It involves hundreds of cards, in Isaiah's case, 10 boxes full! You can play the game with just a basic set, but over the years, he has bought all these expansion packs, until now it looks like this:
Isaiah taught Eli to play, and later Mathew, and eventually even Seth. This was years ago. I never learned to play; it looked way too complicated with all those cards. My favorite Dominion story is when Seth was barely 11 years old and went all by himself to compete in a Dominion tournament at a game store in Sugar House and placed 3rd! Would you like to read about it and see his adorable winning picture? Isaiah didn't play Dominion the whole time Seth was gone on his mission, but once he came home, this happened:
Every day. Over and over, this happened. Until finally, Seth said, "Mom, you wanna play? You wanna learn the game?" Pretty sure he expected me to decline, but you know, here I am quarantined, stuck in my house almost all the time, so I figured why not learn this game? Turned out to be a great decision. Not only do I get to spend quality time with three of my favorite guys in the whole world, but it's actually a super fun game. I like it better each time I play. Of course, I never win (well, I actually won once, but it was all luck). Isaiah and Seth are expert strategists and seem to know every single one of the dozens of cards, what each does, and how they work together for the most powerful effect. Me? I just buy cards and then see what happens.
My kind student asked me, "What are you doing to stay sane?"
My best. I'm doing my best.
And the things that seem to help are buying stuff, walking more, and playing Dominion.
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