When in Rome....(and Barcelona, Cannes, Florence, Lucca, and Pisa)

If you decide to take a Mediterranean cruise to six European cities, there are some absolute do's and don'ts. You're welcome.

Do:

Take pictures of yourselves trying to hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

• Watch other people try to do the same thing.
• Laugh a lot

Don't: 

Expect edible food on the cruise ship. 

• "Cooking for 4,000 people isn't easy, but even I could make some Kraft Mac & Cheese for everyone."  -Shulamith, in response to the gross food on the ship. 
• Here is an example. This is supposed to be potato soup.

• Enough said.

Do:

Plan to eat almost all your food in the local restaurants, NOT on the ship.

• In particular, don't miss the French pastry in Cannes.

• Or the legit pasta in all the Italian cities.

• Google how to get shrimp out of the shell.
• Try to do it.
• Laugh a lot.

• Try the Italian Gelato. 

• Mixed reviews on this one.
• Shulamith loves it.
• I think it's meh (Give me some Handel's or Cold Stone).
• Try it and judge for yourself.

Do:

Enjoy leisurely dining.

• Dining in Europe is a process. An event. No one rushes. This is partly because servers aren't desperate to turn tables as fast as possible to earn more tips (see next "Don't" below), but also just the culture. We spent around two hours each time we ate at a sit-down restaurant.

Don't:

Tip or Trip

• Okay, this was mind-blowingly awesome! In Europe, they have this crazy amazing system where restaurant owners actually pay their employees, rather than forcing the customers to do it. For real. Tipping isn't even a thing. It's neither required nor expected. What a concept! 

• In all the cities we visited, narrow, cobblestone streets (barely wide enough for their tiny smart cars) separate the tall buildings on each side. In most places, there are no sidewalks or any type of provisions for pedestrians and no defined lanes of traffic or lights. We were sure we were gonna trip on one of the uneven, jagged cobblestones and fall, then get run over by one of the speeding cars weaving in, out, and around us. They may take their time dining, but they seem in an awful hurry when driving. We escaped unscathed, but barely.

Don't:

Expect to find Diet Coke anywhere (except on the ship).

• Europe (just like South America) has gross Coke Light and even grosser Coke Zero but no Diet Coke! Ugh. We're convinced they've never tasted it, or they would surely love it and offer it everywhere. 
• We had caffeine withdrawal headaches by the second day. 

Do:

Exercise coping skills. Think flexibility. Breathe.

• Drink as much Diet Coke as possible while on the ship (early mornings and late evenings). 
• Make friends with the bartenders, who will recognize you as the only two adults on the entire cruise ship who don't drink alcohol; they will begin filling four glasses (two each!) of Diet Coke the second they see you approach.
• Pack ibuprofen. 
• Head straight for the nearest McDonald's the second you walk off the plane in the United States.

Do: 

Visit the gym on the ship after sitting on airplanes for 12 hours in order to get those important steps.

Do:

Expect bipolar weather.

• After four days of relentless, blinding sunshine, if finally rained! Pretty much all day when we were in Lucca and Pisa. 
• This is partly why that day was my favorite.
• But also, the Leaning Tower is just way cool. 
• Pack an umbrella and enjoy, because the next day it will likely be all sunny again. 

Do: 

Breathe in every last ounce of the beauty of the many languages, the culture, artwork, religion, history, and Greek mythology. Ahhh!

• Everything is so old and so big. I felt small in comparison.
• La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona was our introduction to the primary religion of Europe, the Roman Catholic Church. 
• This is a picture of part of one of the giant doors. They are made of stone carved into names of Biblical characters, including "Jesus" multiple times, and each time, "Jesus" stands out physically from all the other names. How much do you love that symbolism?

• I don't know tons about this religion, but after seeing the devotion that shines through their churches, their artwork, and (most importantly) the sweet sister nuns, whom we saw praying so faithfully and earnestly, I know one thing for sure:
• They love Jesus very much.
• Just like I do.
• And that fact unifies us with them, and with the entire Christian community. 
• They might have the theology all wrong, as might we!
• Because who really knows how much we're getting right and how much we aren't.
• But the God we worship is bigger than theology. So much bigger.
• My time in Europe, especially at the Vatican, which was our final experience with the Catholic Church, did much to strengthen my testimony of the savior, Jesus Christ.

Don't:

Ride buses in Rome. Just don't. 

• Very mean police guys will target you as unsuspecting American tourists and extort money from you.
• It's awful. 

Don't:

Schedule your flight home the day before Mother's Day if you want to be home for Mother's Day.

• Our flight out of Rome was delayed 2.5 hours, making us miss our next two connections out of Toronto and Chicago, respectively. 
• After we stood in a very long line for a very long time at O'Hare, United switched us to American Airlines, with a flight the next day (Mother's Day) that went through Dallas and wouldn't land in SLC until late that afternoon. We would miss most of Mother's Day.
• We hadn't seen our families for over a week, and yes, we wanted to be with them on Mother's Day.
• Sad, tired, and extremely hungry, we made our way to the American Airlines customer service desk to pick up our boarding passes, when we discovered two agents who had already signed out (it was after 10 p.m.) and were about to leave.
• Their kindness and help provided the final miracle of our trip.
• They found us a direct flight from Chicago to SLC leaving first thing Sunday morning. 
• We would be home at 11:00 a.m. So, so grateful!
• We both shouted and jumped for joy, literally, right there in the airport. 

Do:

Stand out on deck in the rain and wind, and let all your senses be awakened. 

• We were literally all alone on the deck because everyone else took cover from the wind and rain.
• Why would they do that? 
• It was beautiful.

Do:

Travel with your best friend, who cheerfully agrees to handle all the logistics, all the things you don't like to fuss with.

• Shulamith booked all our flights, arranged our off-ship accommodations, shuttle services, and a bunch of other stuff I can't even remember.

Do: 

Post a blog about the trip, and include random photos at the bottom.