THAT baby was born five weeks early???

A week before his first birthday, Shulamith's baby Swen contracted his first real illness. Okay, he had a little fever and the sniffles a few months earlier, but that was very minor and short lived. Other than that, he has been perfectly healthy for an entire year, right up till a couple weeks ago, when he got some sort of intestinal bug  (Rotavirus?) and was sick for five full days. It was awful. The first night, Shulamith and Matt took him to the InstaCare, where the doctor told them he "might have an ear infection." The doctor apparently couldn't tell. They were sent home with antibiotics "just in case," but when Swen started throwing up repeatedly, his parents were pretty sure it wasn't an ear infection. The following night, still worried, Shulamith and I took him to Kids' Care, a drop-in pediatric clinic. Looking over Swen's chart, which detailed the circumstances of his birth, the doctor looked at him in amazement and said:

THAT baby was born five weeks early???

At 22 pounds, Swen has more than quadrupled his birth weight (5 lbs.) and is a round bundle of perfect baby joy. So this is how tiny he was the day we brought him home:

And here he is now in all his roundness:

Fully recovered from his bout with stomach flu, he celebrated his first birthday this past week in style. Shulamith and I dragged him all over town Saturday, gathering the needed items for his birthday party the following day. It was our plan to take him to Macaroni Grill that night, for a pre-birthday celebration with Isaiah. But after a full day of running ragged, we were two very tired mommies with one even more tired baby. We would have to reschedule the Mac. Grill celebration to this week, today actually! We went for an early lunch when the restaurant was quiet. Isaiah had only a couple tables with guests, so he had lots of time to talk to us, which isn't always the case when we're there. After we ate yummy food, Isaiah brought Swen a chocolate melting cake with a candle, and he was serenaded with "Happy Birthday" in Italian. What a lovely afternoon!

The party on Sunday was at a nearby park. The weather was perfect, overcast so not blazing hot, with a nice breeze. Swen opened presents with lot of help and got many fun toys as well as enough clothes to keep him stylin' all summer long:

One gift was really for his mommy. A couple months ago I was at a warehouse clearance sale for artist Greg Olsen. I bought a painting for our home, and as far as Shulamith knew, that was all. She was so mad! Like seriously mad. How could I go to such a sale and not get anything for her? Well of course I couldn't, but she didn't know that. Bahahaha! I managed to keep this secret for two whole months, even though she whined about it whenever the subject arose. Her painting is of the Savior, hand in hand with a little boy. A mat surrounding the painting includes a 3x3 inch photo slot for a picture of Swen and the words below: "Take My Hand." She was legit surprised. She said she had been holding out some hope that I got her a painting for her birthday April 30th, but when her birthday came and went with no painting, she gave up all hope.

I think she really likes it. I hope so.

The highlight of the afternoon was Swen eating his chocolate cupcake from the Sweet Tooth Fairy. He had never in his whole year of life experienced that much sugar in one place, and let's just say he was impressed:

We ate a delicious picnic lunch, including Matt's mom's incredible strawberry spinach salad. I could seriously live on the stuff. And we ate our own birthday cake in honor of Swen:

[Swen is the cutest baby that has ever existed on this planet. There has never been any baby cuter. EVER.] Okay, Shulamith just STOLE my computer and typed the above italicized lines. She is totally hacking my blog. How rude! This is an argument we engage in often. She thinks Swen is the cutest baby ever born, and I have to remind her how that is not true because MY FIVE BABIES were equally cute. Duh! So now that I have control of my computer once again, let me continue.

No mother-to-be can be fully prepared for what is in store. She cannot fully comprehend the utter exhaustion or the overwhelming sense of concern that comes from being solely responsible for another human being, and one so tiny and precious. Moreover, she cannot fully comprehend the depth of love she will feel, love like no other she has ever felt before. Shulamith, however, was more prepared than most new moms. Because she was 14 when my Seth was born, she remembers clearly his first year of life. In many ways she was his second mom, participating in every aspect of his care other than feeding. I think that's why it has been so much fun for me to be like a second mom to Swen this past year. Sharing motherhood has bonded Shulamith and me together even more than we already were, and I wouldn't have thought that possible.

So happy, happy first birthday baby Swen Webster-Monson. We love you and are delighted you came to earth and joined our family.

Tin Grin Tradition

In our family, most of us don't come with straight teeth. Most of us require a little help. I wore braces. So did Luke, Shulamith, and Eli. Only Isaiah escaped. He was miraculously gifted with lovely, straight teeth. Even an orthodontist told me he didn't need braces, and they tend to think all kids needs them. Memories of my experience with braces are rather painful. Of course I'm thankful for them now; pre-braces pics of me are pretty pathetic (emphasis on the pathetic, not the pretty), but at the time, I wasn't sold on the idea.

To begin with, I had to have four permanent teeth removed before the orthodontic work began. This is the consequence of having a relatively small mouth, small bone structure, and very large teeth. I had way too many to fit in there. I'm sure dental technology has improved since then, but the day I had all four of those teeth pulled remains in my memory as one of the most painful experiences of my life, and keep in mind I've delivered five babies, four natural with no epidural! It was awful. It hurt so much, both during and after. I remember coming home with cotton packed in my sore and bleeding mouth, and lying on my bed sobbing. For what it's worth, I had all six of my wisdom teeth (yep, six!) removed a few years later, and that wasn't even remotely as painful as this.

The braces, themselves, weren't any more uncomfortable than what is typical. They're sore when they first go on; they're sore each time they are adjusted. The usual. However, in addition to regular braces, I had this other contraption called a "head gear." Now that was a sight. These straps went around my neck and over my head, attached to this big wire with two prongs that went into my mouth and attached to two bands around my back top molars. It was really beautiful. So beautiful that I refused to be seen in it by anyone outside my immediate family. Which was challenging because I was supposed to wear the thing 14 hours a day. I learned to sleep with it, but that still left five hours each day that I needed to hide inside my house.

Emotionally, I don't think I was quite ready for all this. I was 12, just like Seth, but I didn't face the situation nearly as maturely as he has. The day my braces went on, I came home with the list of "no no" foods, foods not recommended with braces, lots of good stuff like hard candy, taffy, gum, chips, and yes...popcorn. And that very night, my mom decided to make popcorn for the entire family. Except I couldn't have any. Can you spell pity party? I sat in my room, donned in ugly head gear, smelling the freshly popped popcorn my parents and brother were enjoying just around the corner. I felt positively downtrodden. The world, it seemed, had forsaken me.

I survived. Braces came off a couple years later, and like everyone does in that moment, I rubbed my tongue over my smooth, naked teeth in awe. I looked in the mirror, which revealed my new shiny white smile, and I realized it had been worth all the pain and suffering.

And now it is Seth's turn. Unlike me, he really wanted his braces. Consequently, he has handled the whole thing with incredible maturity and stoicism. Ne'er a complaint has he uttered, even when he needed to play his trombone in a band concert just hours after the braces went on. His mouth is sore. He's eating only really soft foods. But he's doing just fine. And don't worry--we won't be throwing any family popcorn parties any time soon. In fact, maybe ice cream is the choice today. Just maybe.

Tin Grin Tradition in the Erichsen-Webster Family!

Mother's Day Seth Style

After a day like no other, I awoke Sunday to the aroma of something delicious cooking in the kitchen. Told to stay in bed, I happily obeyed. Soon, Seth began to bring me breakfast, one course at a time. As an appetizer, he brought caramel cinnamon rolls and milk.

This was followed by scrambled eggs. Then pancakes. And for dessert, the absolute best piece of candy See's makes: a maple pecan bon bon! I don't remember when I felt this pampered. He told me he wanted it to be like an IHOP breakfast, with lots of different foods. It was better than IHOP because I got to eat while relaxing in bed. I should acknowledge that Seth enlisted Gerald's help cooking. In all Mother's Days past, Gerald has told me that I am not his mother and, therefore, he does nothing to honor the day. This year, however, Seth somehow convinced him to help cook breakfast, and I'm pretty sure the outcome was considerably better than it might have been otherwise.

I was subbing in Gospel Doctrine at church that day and also doing a special presentation for the primary children during the third hour, so I worked a bit on both those things before getting up to shower. Church was nice; both Sacrament Meeting speakers did an excellent job presenting their topics of spiritual gifts and faith and tying both topics into honoring the mothers and all the women in our lives. Spot on, both talks! My Sunday School class was super fun; man I love to teach Gospel Doctrine! My skit for the primary kids was rather unpolished and impromptu, but there was much laughter and the kids seemed to be entertained, so win/win.

On our way home, my phone rang. Without even checking caller ID, I answered. Guess who???!!!??? Eli! He had tried to Skype with us, but we were "offline." That's because he forgot about the time change and that we would still be at church. I was so shocked to hear his perfect little voice that I fell right into tears. I knew we would be Skyping later, but I did not expect him to call me. On my cell phone. Right then. Sheesh! We hurried home and connected to Skype. Words cannot express how wonderful it was to "see" and talk to our missionary; you're just gonna have to imagine. And unless you are a missionary mom, yourself, I'm not sure you really can.

We each spent some quality, individual time on Skype, all except Isaiah and Mathew. Mother's Day is the busiest day of the year for restaurants, right next to Valentine's Day. Everyone works. Doubles. At one point, Isaiah texted me asking if Eli had called yet because Isaiah thought he might get a short break soon. "He's on right now! COME HOME!" Sadly, Isaiah's next text was to tell us his break had been canceled.  Blah. Dumb restaurant. Both he and Matt got home much later, long after Eli was gone.

Gerald and Seth went geocaching up in the mountains, and Shulamith and I made quiche lorraine for Mother's Day dinner. It was a quiet afternoon and evening. Perfect, though. And much more in line with Seth's idea of Mother's Day. Whew!

What Mother's Day IS and What It Is NOT, According to Seth.

With the perfect mixture of disbelief and disgust that only Seth can display: "Mother's Day is when kids do nice things for their moms. It is NOT when two moms join together and go spend the whole day doing fun things."

Hahahaha! But that's exactly what we did. After all, it was a day worthy of serious celebration. It was a "family first." It was the first Mother's Day that both Shulamith and I were mommies together. And we decided that warranted a whole day. Swen was super cooperative with our plan; he slept clear until 9:00 Saturday morning. As babies go, Swen is probably the worst sleeper ever born, so when he slept till 9:00, his mommy woke up feeling better than she has in months. Happy Mother's Day, Shulamith!

We left around 9:30, two mommies ready to party!

And we headed straight for the best french toast in Salt Lake City. Kneader's was treating moms to free food if they came in with their kids. Score! Don't worry, I successfully removed all the strawberries from Shulamith's whipped cream, including any remaining red juice. I have years of experience doing this.

After breakfast, the next stop was pedicures. Believe it or not, the two of us had not had pedicures since the weekend of Swen's blessing and baby shower, way back in August. It was high time!

We left with lovely toes, bright pink (Shulamith) and dark purple (me).

After a quick stop home so Shulamith could nurse Swen, we were off to the movies. We wanted to see The Host, and we waited long enough that it was actually in the dollar theatre. Woo! We both liked the book and were curious to see just how they would make it into a movie. Though critics' reviews were quite negative, we thoroughly enjoyed it. The bright flash in the dark theatre makes us look like ghosts, but here we are:

Even after eating copious amounts of popcorn, we were hungry for "real food," so we were off to LongHorn Steak House for a late lunch. This is where Mathew works, but of course he wasn't there; he was home with Swen. The restaurant was having some issues, and the service was crazy bad, but that just gave us something laugh about, and the food was excellent as always. Mmmmmmm!

By the time we got out of there, it was nearly time for Matt to go to work, so we went home to get Swen. But our day couldn't be over without dessert! With Swen in tow, we were off to Subzero, where they make the ice cream from liquid using dry ice. We both got waffle bowl sundaes, and they were yummy:

So Seth...your definition of Mother's Day might be a little different from ours. Fortunately, Sunday was more in line with what you wanted. And that story will come next....

Love You Forever

About 25 years ago, Gerald and I attended a family camp with our oldest two children, Luke and Shulamith, the only ones we had at the time. It was there that I first read the children's book Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. I'm a total wimp, so of course the book brought me to tears as I thought about my grandma and how she would rock me in her rocking chair and sing "Ba, ba, ba means I love you." When I got home, I immediately bought my own copy of the book, and I read it to all my children as they came along. In this book, the mother does not sing "Ba, ba, ba"; she sings, "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

Recently, while visiting my friend Lindsey, I saw these words in vinyl lettering on the wall in her baby's room. What? I want this! I totally want this! And thus the process began of making this dream a reality. It wasn't easy. As most of you know, I cannot do crafts. In reality, I can't do much of anything that lies outside my woefully limited skill set. Essentially, if it doesn't involve giving a talk, teaching a lesson, or writing a blog post, I can't do it. True story. So how on earth would I manage vinyl lettering on a wall? No idea. But I went ahead and ordered it anyway. When I get my mind set on something, I'm not easily dissuaded.

The lettering arrived a few days ago, but I waited until the weekend when Gerald would be home to help me. I'm sure this wasn't exactly what he wanted to do with his Saturday, but he was willing, thank goodness. My plan was to put the lettering in my bathroom, with baby pictures of each of my children beneath it. I thought finding the baby pictures would be the easy part, but no. Turns out we don't own one single photo of Eli in his first year. Not one! It's as if he was adopted at age 3. I'm pretty sure he's been around all along, but I've nothing to prove it. We have hundreds of pictures of Luke, many of Shulamith, and a few of Isaiah. Poor Eli! I must have been way too busy with four little kids to take pictures? Once Seth arrived, we were back in the saddle, taking plenty of pictures, but we really missed the mark with Eli.

I waded through a dozen photo albums and ultimately settled for one of Eli when he was maybe 2-1/2. Best I could do. The other kids' pics are from their first year. Boom! Gerald did a wonderful job putting up the lettering. I was too nervous to watch for the most part, but I did grab this one picture so you could see:

And then. You'll never guess what happened next. After he measured ever so carefully, several times, and applied the lettering just perfectly, I looked up at the wall and what did I see? A SPELLING ERROR! Not kidding. The word "always" was spelled "alwauys." Heavy sigh. I was so sad. After all the emotional energy I had invested in this thing, now we had a poem on our bathroom wall with a glaring spelling error. Yes, yes, I could call the company tomorrow and make them send me new lettering, and we could start over. Of course. Still. How disappointing. Gerald said he would try to fix it somehow; at this point, he couldn't ruin it, so why not? I was not optimistic, and I went to bed.

And guess what? I awoke an hour later when Isaiah got home from work to find the lettering perfect. Absolutely perfect! Gerald somehow removed the "u" and made it look exactly the way it should. How did he do this? I have no idea. But I was so excited. So here is the finished wall:

Woo! I totally love it. How could anyone not? Well, I guess it's possible not to love it, though I really don't get how. Matt doesn't love it. He hates it. He hates all such things, all uplifting sayings displayed in homes. Hates them passionately! He told Shulamith if she ever tried such a thing in their house, he would peel the letters off one by one with his bare hands. Ahh, Matt. We love you. Even if you hate my new bathroom wall display, we love you. In fact, we love you forever!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Sometimes I post a blog entry for no other reason than I want the content saved permanently. This is one of those times.

Here are some of the more memorable things my kids have said:


"Being a kid is okay, but I think I will enjoy adultery more." --Luke (age 8)


 Reflecting on the fact that she had no sisters:"It's okay that we don't have a sister, Mom. We have each other. We can go shopping and play Barbies and paint our nails and wear pretty shoes, and we don't ever have to share our stuff with boys." --Shulamith (age 7)


To the age old question "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"When I grow up, I want to be a fireman or an ice cream man. Firemen help people, but ice cream men get A LOT of money!" --Isaiah (age 6)


A large sign posted on his bedroom door:
"PRIVATE! NO SHULAMITH SPECIES ALLOWED!" --Luke (age 9)


Mom: "Everyone get your shoes on. We're going to Bellingham."
 "Bellingham! Where Baby Jesus was born?" --Eli (age 7)
 

 In Albertson's one day, I was chasing after Seth, who was pulling out coupon after coupon from the coupon dispensers around the store. Frustrating!
Mom: "Luke! Isaiah! Eli! Seth! Whatever your name is! Stop!!!"
 "You have too much children. You can't even remember their names." --Seth (age 6)


After Shulamith threatened to get rid of Kitty because she chewed up one of Swen's diapers:
"If you get rid of Kitty, I'm going to leave home and become a Republican." --Seth (age 12)


Kids say the darndest things. And I want to remember them. Forever.

Opposites Attract?

They say opposites attract. Judging from my experience, that is probably true. At least to some extent. Gerald and I do have a few things in common. We both loathe grammatical errors. It's a curse, really; we are often so distracted by errors that we can't enjoy the content of what people are speaking or writing about. We also share a nearly identical political perspective. This is very good for a marriage, I might add, when the two spouses are as politically minded as we are. Most importantly, we've always agreed on our parenting decisions. Our parenting style is different from most people's, so it's a blessing we see eye to eye.

All that said, though, we are very different people, more so than we are the same. I am an extrovert with a capital "E." I am energized when I'm around people, the more the better. I don't much like to be alone. Gerald is an introvert and can exist happily all by himself. That is not to say he doesn't like people. He does. He's equally fine with them or without them. He has worked swing shift for the past 8-1/2 years, 7 years in Billings and the year and a half we have been here in Utah. That means I've been alone with a varying number of kids, five evenings a week for the past 8-1/2 years. I don't do "alone" very well. In Billings, I developed close friendships, so I had lots of connections and really never felt lonely. I haven't been so successful doing that here,  but I have Shulamith, so it's okay.

Another clear difference between Gerald and me is our interest in the outdoors. Gerald loves the outdoors, especially when mountains are involved. I don't dislike the outdoors exactly. I love outdoor shopping malls, for example! Gerald doesn't like any shopping malls, even outdoor ones. As I said, he likes mountains. I think mountains are okay, but hiking in them is hard. He thinks it's fun. Hmmm. Over the years, I have figured out a way to enjoy hiking in mountains. I would like to share this, in case any of you marries someone who likes mountains rather than shopping malls You're welcome. This is the key: Tell yourself that if you hike miles and miles uphill in mountains, you can eat anything you want that day and not worry about it because you will certainly burn all the calories you consume.

This did the trick for me anyway. Because another way Gerald and I are different is that I live to eat, while he eats to live. It's just a different way of looking at food. No judgment here. Gerald is perfectly happy eating left over, low-fat food that wasn't even very good the first time around. As long as it satisfies his hunger, it's all good. Not so for me. I am forever dreaming of the next time I get to wander off my "plan" and eat a juicy Smash burger or a large McDonald's fries. And when was the last time I got to be so decadent? Why yesterday. Because we went hiking in mountains. Shulamith and I told Gerald that so long as he carried Swen in the backpack, he could choose a hike as steep as he wanted. Then we proceeded to purchase Cheez-It crackers, striped shortbread cookies, Reese's Pieces, and trail mix (because that is healthy, right, despite the large proportion of M & M's)?

And off we went...

It was a beautiful day for a hike in up Bell's Canyon near Little Cottonwood. The trail head was just ten minutes from our house. Can you see why Gerald loves living here so much? No, not Shulamith. Not Isaiah. Not even Shulamith and Isaiah put together. Mountains. Mountains that are practically just out our front door! We really did have fun, and every foot we climbed, all 700 of them, we reminded ourselves of all the calories we were burning and all the food we could eat as a result. Gerald doesn't care about food, but he does care about geocache. Is that what you call the stuff you find when geocaching? I don't even know. The whole hobby makes little sense to me. You search and search for tiny items that are worthless, just for the thrill of finding them. And you call them "cache." Which to me sounds like "cash." Really? Because "cash" to me means real money with which I can buy real clothes. Never mind. Gerald looked for a couple caches, but found neither. Baby Swen riding on his back needed to keep moving in order to stay happy. Gerald is determined to take Seth back there soon to find those caches!

Now you might be wondering why there are no pictures of Gerald here. Well, except this one:

It's simple. As opposite as we are, we apparently have yet one more thing in common. Vanity. Who would have guessed? Everyone knows I'm the most vain person on earth. I scrutinize all photos of myself before I allow them to be published anywhere, and I carefully delete all crappy ones. But Gerald? No, not Gerald. He doesn't care about such things, right? Wrong. When I asked him to put the hike photos into my drop box, so I could access them for Facebook and my blog, he did. But several were missing. Which ones? All the ones with him in them. Shulamith took at least a half dozen pics of Gerald and me during the hike, but not one of those was put into my drop box. When I asked why, Gerald replied, "I didn't look good in them." The one above is the only one he sent me, so there you have it.

Opposites attract? Usually, yes. But not when it comes to vanity.