Maidens and Covenant Friends

"Go, gather together all the Jews that are present in Shushan, and fast ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day; I also and my maidens will fast likewise; and so will I go in unto the king, which is not according to the law: and if I perish, I perish" (Esther 4:16).

Last year, when we studied the story of Queen Esther in Sunday School, I was once again struck by her strength of character, her faith, her bravery, her loyalty, but this time, something stood out to me that I had not before considered. As she prepares herself to go before the king in attempt to save her people, Esther not only asks others to gather together and fast for her, but she mentions the she and her maidens will "fast likewise;"

Who are those maidens, I wondered, the people who are by her side, the ones she trusts to stand with her, support her, hold her, and fast and pray with her and for her? The text doesn't reveal specifically who they are, but I imagine them: A small but mighty tribe, whose loyalty she doesn't have to question. She knows they are on her side no matter the circumstances. She trusts they are faithful and will demonstrate their faith on her behalf.

Then I thought, "Who are my maidens?" Who can I count on with that kind of loyalty and love? It was an easy answer. My maidens are a small group of three: Shulamith, Eli, and Amanda. (I tell Eli that, yes, I know he's a dude. But he's still one of my maidens.) These three all have firm testimonies of the Savior and of the power of prayer. From the smallest needs to the largest problems thrown at us by mortality, we are there for each other as prayer warriors. One text to the group thread, and I know, without a doubt, I have instant support and prayers from these three.

We also love to play, so this week, when both Eli and Shulamith's children had spring break, we packed up two cars and headed south to St. George. It wasn't super warm there, but we were thrilled to escape the eternal snowstorm that has been our lives these many weeks. Now, back at home, the forecast predicts yet another huge storm Monday. Thank goodness we had a tiny reprieve!

Our time there was relaxing. We played rousing games of "Ransom Notes," "What Do You Meme," and "Family Feud." Side note on Family Feud: Shulamith and Amanda might have won the regular play, but in the lightning rounds, Kennedy and I crushingly prevailed.

The best part of this particular Airbnb was a private hot tub on the back porch. Ooooh, we all sure love hot tubs! 

We also went bowling. Let me just point out that, along with everything else I suck at (which is practically everything), I super suck at bowling. While I've never bowled regularly, I'm sure I've been bowling at least a couple dozen times in my life, and never has my score hit 100. 

Until now.

Look at this score:

Winner!!

Yep! I bowled 130. I can't even believe it. I beat both Eli and Shulamith, and I would have certainly beaten Amanda too, had she not stayed back at the Airbnb to rest after a long night with a baby who doesn't sleep so well in new places. Wow!! As we drove to the bowling alley, Isaiah, who couldn't come to St. George with us, texted the following to the group: "TRUMP JUST GOT INDICTED. WE MIGHT ACTUALLY SEE THIS MAN BEHIND BARS!" I'm gonna credit my amazing, unexpected bowling victory to this wonderful, overdue news.

Not Winner.

Not Winner.

The three days with my "maidens" came far too quickly to a close, but not without one final highlight for me. My longtime friend, Patty, was able to meet me for dinner Thursday evening. When we studied the relationship between Elijah and Elisha last year and I pondered their friendship and loyalty, I again asked myself a question: "Who are my covenant friends, those outside my family, who regardless of time or circumstances, will always be mine." I could think of only five. Patty is one of those five. 

We were college roommates for just one semester, with four other girls in an apartment of six. Decades have passed since that one semester, and I don't have contact with any of the other four girls, but Patty and I remained connected. Pre-Internet, we exchanged snail mail letters regularly, and once we had email, communicated even more regularly. It was before COVID that we last saw each other, so our 3-hour dinner involved non-stop talking and catching up. We went through the kids, her three and my five, one by one, and shared all the details. She offered to drive me back to the Airbnb, and of course I couldn't find it. The GPS was useless, and finally, Eli had to come out, track us down, and lead us back. I also planned to get a picture of the two of us, but failed there as well, so you'll have to settle for a couple more random shots of the trip instead:

Spring Break Self Care: How did it go?

It was arguably the best spring break of my life, and I didn't even leave town. I barely left home, truth be told, and when I did, Shulamith drove. And guess what? No car crashes.

Did everything go as planned? Uh, almost? Tuesday night, I decided to cross off one item from my spring break list: A movie with popcorn (extra butter):

Excited for our stress-free, kid-free girls' night out, Shulamith picked me up, and we drove to Herriman to grab Amanda. After a quick stop at Holiday to fill our Stanleys with fountain Diet Coke, we arrived at the movie theatre with time to spare. Shulamith dropped Amanda and me off, so we could get in line for that buttery popcorn while she parked the car. Popcorn and Diet Coke in hand, we approached the cute, 16ish-year-old girl with blonde curls and a bright smile who was scanning tickets. Shulamith pulled out her phone to scan us in.

Nothing. It wouldn't work. She tried several times until cute blonde girl said, "Let me help?" and took the phone. Still no luck.

Cute blonde girl: Are you sure you have tickets for today?

Shulamith: Yep, we're seeing Missing at 7:05.

Cute blonde girl: Uh, that movie isn't showing here. Are you sure you didn't purchase these for Jordan Landing?

By this point I was bordering full-on panic because I can't (won't? don't!) go to movies (or anything) late. 

 Shulamith: Crap. We're supposed to be at Jordan Landing.

To be fair, both Amanda and I were fully aware that we were supposed to go to Jordan Landing, yet we allowed Shulamith to drive us right up to Cinemark Riverton, where we walked in and bought popcorn, blissfully unaware that we were at the wrong theatre. 

Cute blonde girl said if we would like to watch something else, something that was actually showing there, we could walk across the theatre and talk to a manager guy, who would exchange our tickets. That we did.

Shulamith: So, we went to the wrong theatre.

Manager guy: Did you mean to go to Jordan Landing? Happens all the time.

Shulamith: Can you tell us what is playing now or soon? At this theatre?

Manager guy: Cocaine Bear and Jesus Revolution.

You've got to be kidding. The only reason we'd even heard of Cocaine Bear is because Eli and Seth want to see it, which is, itself, a good reason not to. Best we knew, it's about a bear who gets high on cocaine and runs around killing people. That is a hard no.

Shulamith (to Manager guy): What even IS Jesus Revolution?

(Manager guy reads the paragraph-long description off a laminated card.)

Shulamith: That sounds horrible.

Manager guy: I'd have to agree. 

Regardless, we had no other choice; no way we were gonna watch a 500-pound, drug-fueled bear tear people to shreds. 

So what's the verdict on Jesus Revolution, you ask? Shulamith actually thought it was okay, Amanda enjoyed it, and I loved it! Lots of awesome 70s music, throwback to when I was a little girl and dreamed of being a Haight Ashbury hippie, and the timeless message of the Gospel of love, forgiveness, and grace.

Despite this slight misstep, my other self-care items played out right as rain:

1. I did not set my phone alarm a single morning the whole 10 days.

2. I enjoyed a full pajama day, in which I finished Season 1 and began Season 2 of The Chosen, listened to the Podcast The Letter, and read all the books.

3. I got a much-needed spa pedicure. Shockingly, there's a place right here in the Bluffdale wilderness that does lovely gel pedicures and even makes the water hot enough(!) where many places don't.

4. Another day Shulamith and I met up with Isaiah and Seth for a yummy Thai lunch. The best part was hearing the two of them converse in Japanese. Isaiah loves Japan and has taught himself enough Japanese to get around there, and Seth is currently taking first year Japanese at UVU in preparation for his study abroad experience. He will spend the month of May in Japan!

5. Additional food self care involved breakfast at Sunday's Best in Sandy, one of our favorite places. Shulamith and I both do intermittent fasting, so breakfast is a rare treat. We shared an order of biscuits and gravy and an order of powdered sugar beignets. Fully decadent. And delicious.

7. And then.....it just so happened that I recently accumulated enough Crumbl rewards points to earn a free box of four. I mean what timing, right? (Also, if you know how many cookies you have to eat in order to earn a free box, don't tell me. I don't want to know.) We chose four gooey flavors. I cut each cookie in half, gave Shulamith four halves,  and kept the remaining four. I grazed on cookies for the next two days!

6. Finally, I dug even deeper into the scriptures, as I planned my upcoming Gospel Doctrine lessons, including the ones I won't get to teach because they fall on the 2nd and 4th Sundays (Relief Society). I continue to be in awe of the Savior, through the stories of his mortal life. How blessed we are! Here is one idea you might consider:

When the woman who had been ill 12 years reaches for the hem of Jesus's robe, he heals her instantly through her faith and His power. A hymn called "Where can I Turn for Peace?" includes the line: "He answers privately, Reaches my reaching, In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend." Where in your life does Jesus reach your reaching? Where does He come to you, right where you are, hold you, heal you, and bring you peace?

I needed spring break this year more than ever before, and it did not disappoint! As the week concludes, and I jump right back into five classes, relentless student emails, and never-ending essays, all while striving to maintain my house as well as some sort of work/life balance, I will lean into the promises of a God who never stops reaching. 

Jane explains...

Jane Eliza is the 16-month-old daughter of Eli and Amanda. Yes, she's a little bit young for her own ongoing blog post, so entries will likely be sporadic, but she definitely talks, so I thought we'd get started with her blog.

1. Eli and Amanda dropped a Diet Coke off at Shulamith's house and picked up Kennedy to come over here. When Kennedy got in the car, Jane was very happy to see her.

Jane: Wow! Wow! Wow!

2. Eli and Amanda have a cat named Ramsay, whom they have basically ignored for the past 16 months since Jane was born. But Jane likes him and calls him "Meow." When I got to their house tonight for dinner, Ramsay, who is an indoor cat and never allowed outside, escaped out the door. Jane was concerned about finding him right away.

Jane (looking around and pointing to the door): Meow! Meow! Meow!

3. Jane loves Cocomelon, and her favorite character is JJ. Often she brings the remote control to one of her parents or me, points it at the TV, and ays "JJ." That means we're supposed to turn on Cocomelon. The other day, though, Amanda was folding laundry, including Jane's JJ pajamas. Jane quickly unfolded these and begin trying to put on the pants.

Jane: JJ! JJ! JJ!

Jane's nice mommy finally helped her put on the JJ pajama pants at least partway over her clothes, and she was a happy girl.

4. Jane calls their cat, whose actual name is Ramsay, "Meow." So it shouldn't have been a surprise today when she saw a picture of a cow on the wall at Chick-fil-A:

Jane: Moo!

5. Jane in beginning to put words together into very short sentences. As I was leaving their house, she waved and said:

Jane: Bye bye, Her Her.

6. And she keeps expanding her command of language, both vocabulary and sentence structure. I was carrying her from the car to Old Navy yesterday, and she would have preferred to walk in by herself.

Jane: Her, no, down!

7. Eli and Amanda left Jane and me at home when they ran to Shake Shack to grab us dinner. 

Jane: Dada, back?

Me: Yes, Jane, Dada will be right back.

8. Eli, Amanda, And Jane came over tonight for dinner, and they dropped off Jane at Shulamith's house for a short while, so she could play with Kennedy and Theodore before they all came over here. Jane looked out Shulamith's patio door, where Woof was outside:

Jane: Dog! Cute. Me scared! (Then she did her "scared" face and motions, where she shakes and looks terrified.)

Later, Jane noticed that her mommy wasn't there:

Jane: Me Mommy back?

Then Swen and Theodore were fighting:

Jane: Oh fight!

9. When they were leaving tonight, Jane was in the driver's seat pretending to drive. Amanda was shotgun and said to Jane, "I love you."

Jane: I love you.

10. Eli and Amanda went to a movie tonight by themselves. They very rarely leave Jane, so she wasn't super happy about this. She's also very smart, so when I came over and she noticed her parents were gathering their things, preparing to leave, she told her mommy, "No Her Her!" I convinced them (Amanda) to go, because I knew Jane would be fine once they were gone, which she was. After she was clear about her opinion on the subject:

Jane: No Bluey! No trick/treat! No Her Her! Mommy and Daddy!!!

11. Jane's first attempt at actual trick-or-treating was a moderate success. Mostly, she wanted to be carried, rather than walk up to doors on her own two feet. She also had a comment on most of the houses we visited:

Jane: Spooky house!

12. I was out of town last weekend for my niece's wedding, and when I retuned, Amanda asked if I would come over in the morning and hang out with Jane because she had a zoom meeting for her job. (She works from home part time for the U. of Utah, evaluating and processing transcripts from applicants.) Surprisingly, when I got there Jane was still asleep, and she stayed asleep all the way through Amanda's meeting. Just as I was about to leave, Jane woke up, so I only saw her for a few minutes. After I left, Amanda says she wandered around the house:

Jane: Her Her, where are you?

13. Eli and Amanda got Jane a doll house for her "Santa" Christmas gift, but they left it out in plain sight, thinking she wouldn't notice. She definitely notices. And she got so excited, she was literally shaking!

Jane: Oooooh, pretty house! Blue house!

Me: Is it your house, Jane?

Jane: Yes!

14. Jane was eating spaghetti last night, while sitting on Eli's lap. When she finished, she switched to Amanda's lap, and then reached over and took Eli's bowl of spaghetti and proceeded to eat.

Eli: Jane, did you take my spaghetti?

Silence.

Eli: Jane is that Dada's spaghetti or Jane's?

Jane (pointing at herself): JANE'S!

15. Jane is extremely attached to her mother, which is exactly as it should be for a two-year-old. She prefers to be sitting on Amanda's lap. Not sitting beside her. On her lap. Last night Amanda was trying to eat dinner (easier without a toddler on your lap). 

Amanda: Jane, do you want to sit her on the couch right next to Mommy?

Jane: No! Mommy, sit, lap.

16. Jane is addicted to a song Matt played for her and his kids last time Jane was over there. They march around and dance to it. It's called "The Wellerman," and is something about ship that brings sugar and tea and rum. And part of it goes "da, da, da, da." Anyway, Jane knows how to request it.

Jane: Aleka, da, da, da, potfy. (Alexa, play "da, da, da" on Spotify.)

17. We were all at Shulamith's house last night for dinner because Matt was away on a hunting trip with his parents. Shulamith makes the best cookies, and everyone was enjoying them, including Jane. When I was about to leave, I grabbed a couple cookies and put then in a plastic bag to take home to eat later.

Jane: Her Her, cookie! So, of course, I had to give he part of one of mine. (This scenario made me smile because Luke's first complete sentence when he was around Jane's age was, "Where my cookie go, Mommy?" Today happens to be his 39th birthday, so Jane asking for my cookie last night brought all the nostalgia.)

Never have I needed it so badly! Self care, here we go.

On our morning walk yesterday, I told Shulamith, "I can't remember a time when I needed spring break so badly." I'm fine. Nothing terrible has happened to me. It's just a series of little things that add up. I've heard people say it's important to practice self care. I hope to do that this coming week, and this morning I find myself wondering what that might look like:

Maybe it looks like not setting an alarm for the next 10 days. 

Maybe it looks like one full day of pajamas, Netflix binging (The Chosen), reading all the books, and not leaving the house except for walks, food, and Diet Coke. 

Maybe it looks like more time in the scriptures and with Jesus. 

Maybe it looks like a Crumble cookie or a gourmet Rice Krispie treat or both! 

Maybe it looks like a pedicure and a movie with popcorn (extra butter). 

Maybe it looks like not driving anywhere, the whole 10 days, so I can be certain I won't get in another crash. 

Maybe it looks like one full day off from grading papers and answering student emails. 

Maybe it looks like blogging whenever I feel inspired, rather than only as a reward for grading a certain number of papers.

Maybe it looks like all of the above. I'm not totally sure, but I bet it looks like some of those things, because after the last four weeks, never have I needed spring break so badly. 

Weeks 5 - 8 of a 16-week semester are always challenging. Even if I feel like I've kept up pretty good through the first four weeks, those second four feel like a blizzard of essays pouring down on me from all directions. Except this semester, in addition to a blizzard of essays, we also experienced a literal blizzard! No lie. I have not seen this much snow in the 12 years we've lived in Utah. It just keeps snowing. And snowing. And snowing. 

In the middle of all that snow, this happened. My nice, red car got crunched. The accident wasn't weather related; another driver ran a red light and hit me in an intersection. But the snow came soon after. And for some unknown reason, it took Allstate four weeks to declare my car a total loss. All that time, I drove a rental car provided to me through my own insurance company's roadside assistance plan. In the snow! It's scary enough to drive in snow when you're familiar with your car, but driving an unfamiliar rental in an eternal snowstorm, day after day, already fighting terrible driving anxiety from four accidents in as many years, well, you can imagine my state of mind. 

A week ago Monday, Allstate finally called to inform me that my car was totaled. In the same phone call, they also mentioned that they would only reimburse Geico (my insurance) for my rental car for two additional days, following their declaration that my car was totaled. All the thoughts flew through my head. My car really is toast, my bright red car that is so easy to spot in a parking lot. You might remember that I am directionally challenged. That red car has saved me hours of roaming through giant parking lots, and now I'm supposed to replace it in two days??

I should point out that the above mentioned phone call happened on Monday, February 20th. It had already been snowing all month, but Monday was just two days before it would escalate to a full-on blizzard that would dump over a foot of additional snow and shut down the valley the following day. Awesome. Because I've always wanted to go car shopping in a blizzard. My dream really.

Wednesday, all schools were closed, and most everyone either worked from home or didn't work at all. Shulamith and Amanda spent the day searching online for a new car for me. They flooded our family text thread with hundreds of cars (only slight hyperbole), one after the other. It was nuts. By mid-afternoon, I was over it. I don't like cars. They don't interest me. I hate driving. It's an unfortunate necessity. Frustrated and tired, I sent these two hardworking women this text:

"Thanks so much for all you've done, but please, no more cars. I'm tired. They all look the same to me. I don't care. Find me a car, and I'll buy it."

There is one issue, though. I will only shop at Carmax, because their business model of full transparency and zero pressure is morally sound. I won't deal with other immoral dealerships and their price finagling, high-pressure nonsense. So Amanda found me a car at Carmax. Shulamith and I went there and bought it. Pretty much just like that. 

We walked into a silent Carmax in the late afternoon, where only a couple salespeople remained. No other customers. The parking lot was an ice rink, and thick snow blanketed the rows of cars, as more snow fell atop them. 

"I'd like to see your 2019 Dodge Grand Caravan," I told the lady at the front desk.

"Now?" she asked, incredulously.

"Uh yeah. Sorry. It's a long story, but I need to buy a car today."

She found me Nathan, one of the two salespeople, and I repeated the conversation with him.

            

"You want me to dig out the car right now?" he asked.

"Yeah. Sorry!"

"I can't let you test drive it today because of the road conditions," he warned.

At this point, Shulamith jumped in to assure him. "If you will dig out this car, she will buy it. She doesn't need to drive it."

Carmax has a 30-day return policy. If you don't like your car, you can return it within 30 days, no questions asked, so buying a snow-covered car that I had never driven and had never even sat in wasn't as much a risk as it seems.

Nathan headed out, trudging through snow up to his knees, as we followed him to the minivan. It is white, so we couldn't really tell where the snow ended and the car began until Nathan started to dig. It was so cold, and I felt so bad for him.

"I'm sorry," I kept saying.

"Hey, I'm selling a car today!" he cheerfully replied. 

We took Shulamith's son, Swen, with us because of his giant love for all moving vehicles. He was dying to choose a car for me, even though Amanda had already found the one I would buy. As Nathan dug, Swen slid wildly around the snowy lot, searching for just the right car. He found what he believed was perfection: a bright red Ford Mustang convertible. At least he got the color right!

"Swen, I have five kids. We would not fit inside a tiny car like that. But it does look cool!"

Even though I didn't buy Swen's choice, but instead the white minivan Nathan dug out of the parking lot, Swen was still excited we could drive home in a new car. 

And we did.

That was over a week ago, and so far, the car is still intact. No one has crashed into me. My driving anxiety is fully triggered, for better or worse, but it's officially spring break (!), and never have I needed it so badly. Self care, here we go.

What should I do?

Rather than my typical narrative voice, this post will be more of a straightforward request for help. As you know, my poor car was in a collision four weeks ago today. It took Allstate nearly all that time to determine that my car is a total loss. Why did this take so long? No clue. All I know is yesterday, Allstate finally called to report this outcome and to tell me what my cash back would be once they pay off my loan. Oh, and then they added this little tidbit: In cases of total loss, Allstate will only pay for a rental car for two additional days after they declare the car totaled.

Seriously?

That means I need to buy a car by tomorrow night. Because, no, I can't be without transportation even one day, unless that day is a Friday, the only day I don't have to go anywhere. My job takes me to four different college campuses around the valley. 

I don't know about you, but when I have to make larger financial decisions, I like to have more than 48 hours to consider my options. And since I taught all day today, that window is now down to just over 24 hours. I have to return my rental car tomorrow night. 

Shulamith and I went to Carmax yesterday to check out their inventory, but they didn't have much. Cars within my price range that seat 7 people all had like 70,000 miles. That's too many! I have no desire to pay more money for a car that's less desirable than my beloved, red, now crunched, Dodge Journey crossover. 

Also, I detest all car dealerships that aren't Carmax. I find their lack of transparency and high pressure sales techniques utterly disgusting. At Carmax, the price is the price is the price; there is no negotiating. If you want the car, they are happy to sell it to you, and when you go to sign the paperwork, the price that was discussed during the sale is literally the exact price you pay. I know, right? And the process is smooth and quick; it takes maybe 20 minutes to sign everything and be out of there. If you decide you don't want to buy a car, that's fine as well. You say "Thank you for your help," and you leave. You walk right out the door. No one tries to block your way. No one asks you to sign a piece of paper agreeing to buy the car if they can finagle a certain price. No one leaves to go talk to a manager. And guess what? No incessant phone calls from salespeople once you finally escape!

After super sucky experiences with Shulamith when she bought her van and with Eli and Amanda when they bought their current vehicle, I vowed I'd never go anywhere but Carmax. And I haven't. Isaiah bought both his cars there, and I bought my above-mentioned, now-crunched car there as well.

But if Carmax doesn't have a car that fits my needs and price by tomorrow, whatever will I do? Also, a foot of snow is expected overnight and tomorrow. Car shopping is bad enough, but car shopping in the snow? You've got to be kidding!

And that's where you come in. I ask you, my friends and loyal readers: 

What should I do? 

Are you in bad hands?

I really, really prefer to write good reviews, positive letters of recommendation, complimentary notes. In fact, I do this often. Whenever I receive exemplary service from an employee in a restaurant, at a store, or even from an airport shuttle driver, I make special note of his or her name and then write a letter to the company expressing my gratitude. It's way more fun to focus on our positive human interactions and to surprise people when they learn their goodwill did not go unnoticed.

Sometimes, though, it isn't like that. Sometimes, it's the polar opposite. Such is the case with my recent experience dealing with Allstate, the company that insures "the other driver" in my recent car crash, the driver who ran a red light and hit me as I passed through an intersection.

Not to be histrionic, but dealing with Allstate has been a nightmare. First, they never, ever, answer their phones. "If you would like to speak with a claims representative, please press 3." Yes! YES! That's exactly what I want to do, but when I press 3, I'm connected to another message directing me to log onto a website and deal with my claim online. No, I don't want to do that. If I wanted to deal with it online, I wouldn't have called in the first place! Next, the voice mail instructs me to leave a message, and they will return my call. 

I did. 

They didn't.

A week later, after I called multiple times, each time leaving a detailed voice message using the kindest of all possible tones, I pressed the key to indicate I needed immediate, emergency assistance. After I was put through a series of prompts which involved being directed and redirected, a woman named Cindy (yes, an actual human being!) answered:

"This Cindy from Allstate where you're in good hands. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?"

Except I didn't feel like I was in good hands at all; Cindy had the least friendly tone ever, and I don't think she felt any pleasure whatsoever speaking with me. When words contradict tone, tone always wins!

"This is Terrianne Webster, and I'm calling in reference to Claim #077042837. I need Allstate to accept liability for this accident so I can get my car repaired. Would you be able to help me with this?"

Our conversation to follow was challenging and way too long. She told me that, as of then, Allstate was denying my claim because they hadn't been able to reach the other party, their insured driver, the one who hit me. 

Well..... great. She implied that I should just use my own collision insurance through Geico to get my car fixed, since she couldn't reach the other driver to get her statement. Because I guess she thinks I have an extra $500 lying around to pay my deductible? 

You should be so proud of me. I stayed calm. I demonstrated that I do, indeed, teach rhetoric and that I do, indeed, know how to use you-attitude, positive emphasis, and a respectful tone.

"Thank you so much for trying to locate your insured customer; I really appreciate that. Would you mind continuing your effort to find her? I'd prefer not to use my collision insurance and pay the $500 deductible for car repairs, since the accident wasn't my fault. Is there anything more I can do to help you through this process? Is there any further information I could provide?"

Cindy seemed baffled by all this but promised me she would continue to try to find her customer, while reminding me that if she was unsuccessful, the two insurance companies would need to "fight it out," and that could take weeks or even months.

Unsure what to do next and feeling the weight of all this crushing down on my shoulders, I went for a walk.

"I don't think this car thing is gonna work out for me?" I told Shulamith.

"Yeah, it doesn't sound like it," she replied.

Say what!?!?! Shulamith is the most optimistic person I know. Seth used to say that she is as optimistic as Sponge Bob and President Hinckley!

Frustrated and exhausted, I returned home to make some avocado toast with egg before trying to sleep. I hadn't had a good night's rest since this whole thing happened; my body was rebelling. But before I could even finish eating, my phone alerted me with an unknown number on caller ID. I picked up. Just in case. It was my new best friend Cindy. She sounded no happier than she had during our prior phone conversation, possibly less so, but she informed me that she had contacted her insured driver, along with the independent witness (bless him!), who had stopped at the crash scene to give me his card in case I needed him to make a statement. 

Allstate accepted full liability for my claim.

I stood, stunned, in my kitchen for several seconds before responding to Cindy. Was this real? For a full week I had tried to contact someone who would move on this claim, and suddenly, within two hours, it was fully resolved?

In the Gospel of John, the Savior teaches the wedding guests at Cana (Ch. 2), Nicodemus (Ch. 3), and the Samaritan woman at the well (Ch. 4) that God is in the details of their lives. I'm pretty sure that's the case for us as well, and I am so grateful.

As for Allstate, though. Let's just say I've edited their well-known slogan: "Allstate. Are You in Bad Hands?"

Uh, the common denominator here is I

"It's not your fault someone ran a red light in an intersection."

"You can't help it that someone was distracted and rear-ended you." 

"You can't blame yourself because this happened yet again!"

I am blessed with a small but mighty tribe, who offer lovely, affirming words to lift me and carry me through the hassle of car crashes, one after the other. I love these people.

But let's be real. (Wow, that would be a great name for a social media platform, don't you think?)

Sorry, talk about being distracted.

Let's be real.

The common denominator here is I.

On Tuesday morning, I pulled out of the Gas-N-Go in Orem, carrying a fresh, fountain Diet Coke on pebbled ice in my light gray Stanley. I was all in! Ready to face my two UVU classes, excited to see the faces of eager young college students determined to improve their rhetorical writing skills. 

As I entered an intersection only a half mile from campus, on a clear GREEN light, I noticed a huge, white pickup truck headed toward me from the side street. I glanced up to confirm my light was green while slamming on my brake to avoid impact. I wasn't fast enough. Crash!

My mind raced: Are you freakin' kidding me? Again? Again?? Why do people keep crashing into me?

Breathe.

My second thought was that I had class in 20 minutes, and I still needed to find parking on a giant campus with half the number of parking spots as people who need them. Ugh!

I circled around and parked on the side street behind the truck that hit me. The other driver approached, a seemingly nice guy who immediately asked "Are you okay?" Yes, yes, I'm physically fine. Emotionally, not so much.

"I'm good," I assured him. "How about you?" Of course his monster truck protected him from all harm; he was just fine. We exchanged the necessary information: names, cell phone numbers, insurance companies. I could do this in my sleep; I do it so often. Neither of us wanted to call the police. I have limited experience with cops, but sadly, almost all of it unfavorable. I believe most officers are kind and caring public servants, whose goal is to help people, calm them, treat them gently, do whatever they can to comfort and assist them. I just haven't encountered any of these. 

When Seth was three years old and decided to walk to Harmon's by himself to buy Skittles, and I was a frantic mess trying to find him, the cop who returned him to me declared in the harshest, most condescending tone, "You need to keep better watch on your kids, ma'am." No empathy whatsoever for a scared, hysterical mother, who does everything in her power to keep her children safe. Eight years later, this same child (shoutout to Seth!) got hit by a car in a crosswalk on his way to middle school. The cop who came to the hospital, without even asking Seth how he was feeling, gruffly announced that the incident was Seth's fault and he needed to be more careful crossing the street. 

No, I had zero interest in calling the police. I just needed to get to school. I was about to drive away, when the wife of the other driver noticed oil dripping from the front of my car. "Uh, I don't think you should drive this," she warned. "Look at that oil." Great. They sensed my frustration, because yes, class! I needed to get to class! Odd as it seems, they offered to drive me the half mile to campus, and three seconds later, I was in their big truck, heading to school. As we drove the five minutes to campus, thoughts of kidnappers, serial killers, and armed bank robbers filled my head, but those thoughts were quickly pushed aside as I thanked them and leaped out of their foot-high backseat and ran into the Woodbury Building at UVU.

I'd love to report that this was the end of my bad luck for the week, but the following day when I drove Shulamith's van to school, verbally willing surrounding cars not to crash into me, I managed to snap the wire on her E-break, which is apparently difficult to do, but I guess I just have a strong left foot? Nope, can't make this stuff up. 

It's now been three days since the crash. I have a rental car provided by my insurance company as I wait for the other driver's insurance company to accept liability, so I can get my car repaired.

If it's repairable, that is. Oh, how I hope it is. I like my car. I do not want a new car. 

Meanwhile, I have to wonder if I need to add driving to the lengthy list of things I suck at. Really, though. Maybe I'm just a bad driver, so other cars keep crashing into me. 

Because the common denominator here is I.