If an assignment seems like too much work, maybe just don't do it.

At 4:00 yesterday afternoon, Shulamith received an email from Swen's 7th grade teacher. It was a group email sent to parents of all the kids in the class, reminding them that their kids had a big family history assignment due the following day, one that is worth a lot of points toward their final grade. This was news to Shulamith, so she went right upstairs to ask Swen about it.

Shulamith: Ms. Jacobs emailed to remind us that you have a big family history assignment due tomorrow. How's that coming?

Swen: Oh, that sounded like way too much work, so I decided not to do it.

If you are laughing right now, it's either because you know Swen, or you know a kid like him. If an assignment seems like too much work, maybe just don't do it.

Fortunately, Shulamith is the the kindest mom on the planet and likely laughed at Swen's response (just like you did, and I KNOW you did!). Then she went right to work to help him!

The assignment involved finding someone from your family history and learning all about them, then creating some sort of electronic poster to present the information you find. Kennedy, the Canva expert, joined the task force and began to look for a template. 

You may call this coincidence or luck or whatever, but I'm gonna call it one of my favorite scenarios: Jesus in the details! It just so happened that only a day before, Swen had visited a family history center with his church group (called Young Men's, though none of the kids in it are actually men, young or otherwise. They are just boys). Swen came away thoroughly disgusted with his mom and me. Here is the laminated family history chart he brought home:

Swen (to Shulamith): Look at this chart! Just look at it! On Grandma and Grandpa's side, there are names. All the boxes are filled in with names of people in their family. But look at Her's side. Nothing. Nothing but blank boxes. Her's mom is still ALIVE, and SHE isn't even on here. You and Her have done nothing!

Noted. 

Yeah, family history....not really my vibe. Or Shulamith's.

But it wasn't lost on me that maybe we're not so different from Swen. This seems like an awful lot of work. And when something seems like too much work, maybe just don't do it.

(P.S. for those wondering, Swen found some guy from the Monsons' side of the family and, with Kennedy's help, made a lovely poster on Canva. Hooray!)

Theodore's Themes - Part VII

 

158. Shulamith: Theodore, Her told me that when you slept at her house, all she gave you for breakfast was mints and Diet Coke.

Theodore: Yes! Her asked me what I wanted for breakfast, and I told her mints and Diet Coke, so that's what she gave me.

159. Theodore and Kennedy stayed overnight here last week. Swen was at diabetes camp, and Shulamith and Matt were celebrating their anniversary. The two of them have never spent the night here together, only separately. Kennedy was very concerned that Theodore would keep her awake all night because the tends to roll around in his sleep.

Kennedy: You are not sleeping in the middle between Her and me. You can sleep in the floor.

Theodore: I'm gonna sleep in the middle and roll back and forth from one side to the other.

160. I dropped Theodore off at school late one morning last week.

Me: Okay, just go into the office. They'll say "Hi, Theodore!" and they'll check you in and tell you to do to your class.

Theodore: They wont't say "Hi Theodore." There are 800 kids at my school, so they don't know my name. 

161. When a picture speaks a thousand words:

162. Theodore: Can I sleep at Her's house tonight?

Shulamith: Yep, as long as you take church clothes so you can ride to church with Her.

Theodore: Never mind. I want to go to church late.

(I always go to church on time. The Webster-Monsons? Not so much.)

163. Theodore recently got Phase 1 braces to help prepare his teeth for Phase 2 when all his permanent teeth are in. The expander in his mouth has been challenging for him to adjust to; food routinely gets caught up underneath, making Theodore panic. Poor little guy. He's only 8. He and Shulamith have been praying nightly that Theodore will adjust to his braces (especially the expander) and be able to eat normally. This past week, on out Alaska cruise, Theodore and Seth were comparing each other's pain, as Seth also had an expander back when he had braces. He said he lost 5 lbs. the first week he had it because it was too hard to eat. Later that night, he talked about it with Shulamith.

Shulamith: Theodore, you're going way better than Seth did. He lost 5 lbs. because didn't eat much for a whole week. You were doing pretty well eating after only a couple days.

Theodore: I think that's because Seth didn't remember to pray about it.

164. Me (in Target): Let's go look at clothes for school.

Theodore (heading to the toy aisle): I don't want to look at clothes.

Me: But you need clothes to cover your body.

Theodore: I have on clothes that cover my body.

165. Apparently, though none of us remember anything about this, Theodore found himself lost on the ship at some point during our recent Alaska cruise.

Theodore: Mom, we were in a store, and you all left me, but then I walked out and saw Seth. Seth saved my life!

166. Jane and Theodore were in a discussion about human growth and how Jane will become 4.

Jane: I will eat lots of healthy food, and then I will turn into 4.

Theodore: No. The days will go by for a year, and then you will just turn into 4. That's how it works.

Kennedy says - Part IX

 

119. As long as Kennedy has danced, she has been given the "lift" parts. That means that at some point in most of her dances, two people lift her up high as she does a dance move. But last night, in one of her dances, another girl was chosen to do the lift. Kennedy is not happy about this.

Kennedy (after she got home): This so so unfair!

Shulamith: What isn't fair?

Kennedy: Another girl gets to do the lift. I ALWAYS do the lift.

Shulamith: But isn't it fair because other girls should also get their turns to do the lifts?

Kennedy: NO! What's not fair is letting me do the lift every single time and then just suddenly taking it away from me.

120. Kennedy was exhausted this morning. It's a crazy busy week for her preparing for an opt-in dance performance next week, while taking her regular company classes. She did not want to get up and ready for school.

Kennedy: Why is school at 9:00? That is way too early. What kind of people would make a school where kids have to go there at 9:00 in the morning?

121. Kennedy auditioned for her dance company's spring performance of Hansel & Gretel. She is now (im)patiently awaiting the email that announces everyone's roles.

Kennedy: If other girls in my company get lead parts and I don't, I will NOT run up and congratulate them at our next class. I will not tell them I'm happy for them. I. will just sit in the corner and cry. And think about how I want to go trip them. 

122. Kennedy is sometimes a bit out of sorts when her mom drops her at dance these summer mornings. She's always sleepy because her mom had to wake her up. When they arrived at dance yesterday...

Kennedy: I'm not going in if I don't see someone from my class. I don't want to be the only one there.

Shulamith: Look! There's a girl from your class walking in now.

Kennedy: I hate her!

Shulamith: Why?

Kennedy: Because her dancing sucks!

123. We just returned from a week-long Alaska cruise, during which Jane stayed glued to Kennedy about 90% of the time. Jane is skilled at controlling what Kennedy does, under serious threats. 

Jane: If you don't do [xyz], I won't play with you anymore.

Me: Kennedy, you don't have to let Jane control you. You know her threat won't ever actually happen. 

Kennedy: Oh it will. She's done it before.

124. Kennedy: Jane made me eat fries on the cruise, even though I don't like them. 

Shulamith: Why did you do it? You don't have to do everything Jane tells you to do.

Kennedy: She told me she wouldn't love me anymore if I didn't eat them. She wouldn't love me but only love Theodore.

125. Kennedy goes to dance class four nights a week, and more than that when her company is preparing for a performance. Shulamith tries her best to do everything Kennedy wants her to do, but sometimes, Kennedy has to step up and do some things herself, such as her hair. For ballet, that means a bun. Kennedy strongly prefers that Shulamith put her hair into a bun;  however, one day a week, that's just not possible. 

Shulamith: Okay, tomorrow's Wednesday, so I'll pick up you and Ronan at school and take you right to dance. Be sure you pack your dance bag with your hair stuff, so you can change and do your hair after I drop you off and before ballet starts.

Kennedy: Mom! How's this gonna even work?!?! Am I gonna have to do my own hair every week???

125: Shulamith: This weekend I want to teach you how to do your own laundry.

Kennedy: No.

Shulamith: What will you do when you go away to college and don't know how to do your laundry?

Kennedy: My roommate will do it.

126. Shulamith: Kennedy, I don't have the kind of [any food item] you like.

Kennedy: That's okay. 

Shulamith: But you need to eat something.

Kennedy: That's okay.

Shulamith: I don't want you to be hungry at dance.

Kennedy: That's okay.

Shulamith: If you don't eat something, we could be late for dance.

Kennedy: That's NOT okay.

Swen-isms - Part IX

 

342. After enjoying a great first semester of middle school (7th grade), Swen returned for second semester to find that his five best friends are all scheduled into "A" Lunch, while Swen is in "B" Lunch.

Swen: What kind of school would do that? Take all my friends and put them in a different lunch than me. Who would ever think that's a good idea?

343. I love it when people go back and read my blog books. (I love it when they read the current posts online too!) There are now 16 books, and currently I'm writing the 17th, which will be 2025. Swen had several of them out today but was particularly interested in the oldest, 2009, when Seth was nine, three years younger than Swen is now.

344: Swen: I've been thinking about it, and I really think I want to be a police officer.

Shulamith: That's great. I think you'd be a good police officer.

Swen: But I would definitely pull you over at least once a day, probably more.

Shulamith: You'd pull me over so we could say "Hi" and I could give you a hug?

Swen: No. I'd pull over to get your money.

Shulamith: My money? Swen, police officers don't get to keep the money people pay for traffic tickets.

Swen: They don't?

Shulamith: No, that money goes to the government.

Swen: Oh, I don't want to be a police officer anymore.

345: Swen: Her, are you and Gerald getting divorced?

Me: No. 

Swen: Good. I wouldn't want that to happen. I've known Gerald all my life.

346. Shulamith is at a day-long training thing for kindergarten. Swen wants to go to the skate park. I'm getting final grading done and don't have time to take him right now, so I asked him to stop asking me over and over to go. He said he would leave and be gone the whole day.

Came back 5 minutes later and rang doorbell:

Swen: I'm just a random kid riding a scooter. Could I please have a drink of water? 

Then he came inside and continued: 

Swen: I'm living in an abandoned trailer. I think I remember living here. I remember these dirty dishes everywhere and that ugly table. And those ugly, you-tube kids. But that was before some old person kicked me out, so I’m living in a trailer. Would you mind if I took these Cheez-its because I’m very hungry. If I need a soda, I’ll go to your house.”

346. Swen would like me to write in here that he made ChatGPT angry enough to scream at him, by asking over and over and over and over if a picture of a boy in a hat has anything to do with pigeon reproduction.

And thank you for the brief escape...

What do you do when you're disheartened and so sad from the continuous stream of cruel, bigoted Executive Orders coming from the President of the United States, supported by his equally cruel and ridiculously unqualified minions? You get on a plane and go to a place where you can disappear into fantasy. For ever so brief a time, you can live others' lives, make-believe, and forget the the very real and terrible circumstances that are reality.

You go to New York City and see six Broadway shows in four days.

So that is exactly what Shulamith and I did.

We've decided we are now expert New York travelers. (Well, Shulamith is an expert; I mostly just let her figure stuff out.) In our three visits, we've learned all the transportation and lodging hacks. Fly United, where seats are actually made for adult-sized people, and they still offer complimentary snacks, beverages, and headphones. Land at Newark International Airport (forget JFK), and take the Newark Express shuttle to your hotel. It's fast, reliable, and comes every 15 minutes. Stay at the Civilian Hotel in Times Square. It's new and cool looking, but most important, if you take a red-eye flight and arrive at 7:30 a.m., even though the official "check-in" time is 4:00 p.m., they will give you a room if they have one ready. We were able to sleep for four hours Thursday morning, making it possible to book a matinee that first day, in addition to the show we already had booked that night.

And speaking of shows, "Hold your hats and hallelujah, Mama's gonna show it to you." Gypsy was pure delight, start to finish. Granted, for me the appeal was largely nostalgic. When I was six, I played Baby June in a production of Gypsy at the Portland Civic Theater. Though that was decades go, I remember every line, every song, and every dance step. It felt surreal to see the show all these years later, and I'm thrilled I had the opportunity. Aside from nostalgia (which left me crying at nearly every song), the show was really so good. The amazing Audra McDonald starred as Mama Rose, and as one critic explained, "She played Rose with her whole being." I vote for Gypsy to win the Tony for "Best Musical Revival," and Audra to win "Best Leading Actress."

(Circa just a few years ago, when I was six and played Baby June...)

Gypsy was a Saturday matinee performance, and that evening we saw The Outsiders. The former has sad moments especially at the end, when the stage mother to end all stage mothers finds herself alone and running out of dreams. But most of the show is upbeat, funny, and heartwarming. Not so for Outsiders. If you read the book, you know that Hinton tells a raw and real story of the struggles of underprivileged kids in 1960s Tulsa. There's fear and violence, hurt and sadness, juxtaposed with sprinkles of hope and resilience, especially surrounding the lead character, Ponyboy Curtis, beautifully played by Brody Grant, whose voice was meant for this score. I cried at this one too.... "My friend, stay gold."

Sunday, before leaving to come home, we saw Little Shop of Horrors. This show is always hilarious, and we laughed and laughed. I only cried once when Seymore and Audrey sang "Suddenly Seymour." IYKYN. Such a silly plot, yet it always creates a fabulous show, and this was no exception. Whatever to you do, "Don't feed the plants!"

We didn't have a ton of Thursday matinee choices as we ate our Day 1 of 4 bagel breakfast before going to our hotel to sleep, so we were happy to find seats for The Great Gatsby. We sat right up front, and the sets, costumes, and dancing were glitz to the max. We loved it! "Only we know what we've both been through. If I save you, will you save me too?" Gatsby believed in The Green Light. Do we?

Thursday night we saw our first non-musical Broadway play, The Play That Goes Wrong. While we will always love musicals best, this play was funny, and the acting stellar. A group of college friends attempt to produce a murder mystery, and everything that can possibly go wrong, does! The poster for the play reads, "So wrong, it's right!" We agree.

Everyone always asks us which was our favorite show. It's hard to answer because they are all so different, but Shulamith and I both agreed in the end that our favorite was the brand new musical, Maybe Happy Ending. Ironically, it's the one we knew nothing about. We went in blind, relying solely on Isaiah's recommendation. He had hoped to join us on this trip, but he has a new position in his company and already took PTO earlier in the month, so he couldn't swing it, Still, he told us to see this show, and we did. Isaiah has never steered us wrong on anything, and we're so grateful we listened this time. I don't even know how to explain the brilliance of this production. Let's just say that YES (!) two Helper Bots can fall in love, and YES (!) their story can make you cry, and YES (!) if you're going to NYC in the near future, SEE THIS SHOW. It better win the Tony for Best Musical, and both Darrin Criss and Helen J. Shin should at least be nominated individually as well. 

The escape to NYC was just what we needed. We have socials, so we weren't entirely free from the destruction being thrown down on our poor nation because in its lunacy, it elected a lunatic. But we spent around 12 hours immersed in fantasy, captured by those so talented that they took us by the hand and led us fully and unabashedly into their characters' lives. We lived these lives alongside them during those 12 hours. To all of you, brilliant artists that you are, we thank you. For your energy, your tireless work day after day, your God-given talent, and your willingness to share it with us, thank you.

And thank you for the brief escape.

Resist. By being everything he isn't.

Today was a day off from school. It was other things as well, but because we didn't have to work, Shulamith and I took her kids out to lunch. As we left Cafe Rio, a kind, older lady stopped me. "I like your shirt," she remarked. "It's been a tough day. Stay strong out there." I waved at her and smiled. A kindred soul.

Had I been at school today, I would have worn all black to demonstrate my protest and resistance of the new administration. But since I was not in class, I wore my Harris-Walz, 2024 hoodie. It just seemed right. Had I not, it's likely I wouldn't have met, and connected ever so briefly, with this sweet lady at Cafe Rio.

Yes, I watched the entire inauguration ceremony this morning. I wanted to have a firsthand account, not retold by others (even others I respect) and not clips chosen by the media. I wanted to see for myself. 

I saw. 

It was even more vile than I imagined. The inaugural address was one that only a narcissist could have delivered. Not even a nod to President Biden, thanking him for five decades of service to our country. I watched as the felon, the rapist, one by one, promised to shred every good and worthy accomplishment President Biden had in his four years in office. I watched as he vowed to inflict pain on the immigrant, the poor, and our LGBTQ+ friends and family. Throughout, President Biden and Vice President Harris sat stoically, their hands folded, their faces somber, ensuring a peaceful, gracious transfer of power and demonstrating their commitment to democracy and to our Constitution. Thank you, President Biden and Vice President Harris for showing us what mature leadership looks like....and well, for simply showing up!

What do we do from here? I've thought a lot about what it means to resist. What can I do as just one woman to resist this tyranny? What can I do so that years from now, when a young person studies history and asks me what I did to resist this evil, I can answer with honor just as Tim Walz did during their heroic campaign: "Every damn thing I could."

I will continue to consider what the steps of resistance look like in my life, but for now, this is what I've got.

I will resist by being everything he isn't: kind, brave, smart, empathetic, caring, faithful, and loving.

Maybe that means speaking out when my values are challenged and not shrinking into compliance for the sake of popularity. 

Maybe it means defending the defenseless, protecting the vulnerable, and being more intentional in my efforts to welcome the marginalized. 

Maybe it means smiling at a lady in Cafe Rio, so she knows she is seen.

Maybe it means offering a meal or some money to a homeless person.

Maybe it means pausing to allow another car to go ahead of me in heavy traffic.

Maybe it means shopping responsibly and not patronizing businesses that donated to the felon's campaign. I can choose Target and Costco over Walmart, Lowe's over Home Depot, Michael's over Hobby Lobby, and Raising Canes over Chick-fil-A. 

Maybe it means holding fast to my faith, while extending grace and acceptance to others whose faith looks different from mine.

Maybe it means being clear and open as a safe space for any LGBTQ+ youth who need acceptance.

Maybe it means donating my time and money to elect progressive candidates in the midterm elections two years from now.

Maybe it means refusing to remain complacent and accepting of what is about to happen. 

Maybe it means hugging my five children tight and expressing how very sorry I am that this happened in their lifetime.

Today in our home, we celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr. We did not celebrate our country. Because in our home, we do not celebrate rapists. We will not celebrate this rapist.

Instead, we will resist, by being everything he isn't. 

2024 Favorites!

First, how can 2024 be over? Like really.

Second, it passed so quickly I hardly remember anything I did.

Third, here's my best effort to remember the year and share a few of my personal favorites:

Favorite Movie

Here, the story of multiple families that live in the same house over the course of half a century. Loved every second! You will too.

Runner up: Wicked. You already know all about that one! It doesn't compare to the live production on the Broadway stage, but as movies go, it is fabulous!

Favorite Book

11-23-63, by Stephen King. Yes, you read that right. My first Stephen King novel. I don't read horror. I need to sleep at night. But this one is not his typical horror story, but rather drama, a love story of the highest caliber, set within a cool fantasy (time travel). That's all I'm gonna tell you, other than that Stephen King is a brilliant writer, whose voice captivates from Page 1. Read this book.

Runner up: The Outlaw Noble Salt, by Amy Harmon. Again, not the type of book I'm typically drawn to, this fictionalized account of Butch Cassidy had me gripped in its palm start to finish. A slow-burn romance (the best kind), it made me hope, wish, believe (?) that it was all true, that maybe Robert LeRoy Parker (aka Butch Cassidy) was good at his core after all, and maybe, just maybe, he found his Jane again in the end. Read it, and let me know what you think. 

Favorite Trip

New York City in February (shocking, I know, considering we're headed back in just four days). We saw Hamilton, The Notebook, Sweeny Todd, &Juliet, and Book of Mormon, and they were all amazing! Counting down the hours till we board our red-eye flight just after midnight in the wee hours of this coming Thursday morning! Be jealous. 

Runner up: My visit home to Washington and Oregon in May. Gerald and I were supposed to be in Israel, but the tragedy of war forced us to postpone. The time in the Northwest was delightful, mostly because it rained nearly every day, but also because I got to see so many lovely people: Gerald's family; my cousin, Diana; Tom, Yvonne, and my mom; my niece, Leslie and her family; my niece, Carley; and my best friend, Lorrie.

Favorite TV Show

Nobody Wants This. Possibly the cutest little rom-com ever, as a Jewish Rabbi and an agnostic podcaster fall in love. And they are adorable. 

Runner up: High Potential. The plot of this one sounds so ridiculous, I can't even write it. And yet...you should probably just watch it and see.

Favorite Party

My ninth annual Christmas cookie exchange, with my best friends from the former Union Park 6th Ward in Sandy. Our ward was obliterated in 2018, and two friends from our group have since moved out of the state (Hi, Katie and Kara!), but even all that can't break apart friendship his solid. This year, nearly everyone who still lives here in the valley was able to come, and it was the best evening. The years melted!

Runner up: My book group's holiday party and "favorite things" gift exchange. This year our leader decided we should dress in formal wear! I was so excited, I dug out the dress I wore to Shulamith's wedding, the picture at the bottom of this post.

Favorite Blog Posts

...from my personal blog itslegs.blogspot.com: "The worst part was seeing my kids so sad." It surely wasn't the most joyful post, but it was the one that generated the most page views (over double any of the others), so I know it resonated with many.

...from my church blog thereisroomforyou.blogspot.com: "You don't have to be Nephi." The title tells the story.

Favorite Meal

Just before Christmas, I went to Portland for four days to visit my family and crash their extended family party. The dinner? Truly the stuff dreams are made of. They smoked three meats: turkey, roast beef and pork, and augmented them with sides of mashed potatoes, stuffing, mac & cheese, and buttery garlic green beans. Dessert included my absolute favorite: pecan pie (!) which I don't get often enough because no one in my Utah family really likes it except me. I ate one piece each day the whole four days I was there.

Favorite New (to me) Restaurant

Lucky Thai, a tiny family-owned place up by Smith's in Herriman. I believe it's the best Thai food I've ever eaten. You should head there right now, and order the yellow curry!

Favorite Purchase

My 15 and 20-lb. weights, because they remind me that, although I'm still the weakest person in the gym and probably always will be, I'm getting stronger every day thorough focused, consistent training.

And that concludes my favorites from 2024. What are yours?