Irony

Several years ago (like maybe 12?), Isaiah was playing on a kids' soccer team. Let's be clear. For the most part, in our family, we don't raise athletes. Eli loved sports and played on many different teams through the years. He was pretty average in ability, and he had fun. But a star athlete he would never be. Shulamith played softball, soccer, and basketball as a kid, and was very much like Eli. The other three boys fared less well. They are gifted in so many areas, primarily academic, but oh how they struggle with physical activities.

Which brings us back to Isaiah. By the time he was 8 or 9, the "everyone gets to play equally" rule was long in the past. Winning was now the single goal, and Isaiah spent nearly all his time sitting on the bench. I hated watching that. On the other hand, I also trembled inside on those rare occasions that he was put in the game, knowing he wouldn't play well, and people would be unkind. Motherhood is not for wimps. Eventually, the time would come when he would decide soccer was not for him, but sometime before then, he made perhaps his most ironic and hilarious comment, one I will never forget. In his childhood attempt to make a sense of a world in which certain things (all sports) were so terribly difficult while other things (reading, writing, math, computers, everything related to school) were so easy, he declared:

"I'm actually a pretty good soccer player. I'm just not good at scoring goals."

And why did I think of this recently? Because of other ironic statements that have circulated our home, ones that make me laugh out loud. Yes, today I can laugh at Isaiah's statement. Today I can laugh because he has grown into an amazing, confident, caring, and extremely intelligent young man. And the fact that he wasn't good at sports as a kid and probably never will be makes no difference whatsoever. Back then, I didn't laugh. Back then, I'd have given anything to make him the star soccer player. Just once. Back then, the mom in me, who so desperately yearned for his success because he wanted it so badly, couldn't laugh.

So the other day, Gerald  pronounced with the determination the only he can muster:

"I'm really good at looking for things. I'm just not good at finding them."

Irony. Isn't it great? Gerald spends copious amounts of time searching for things and sometimes actually finds them, but not usually, and it takes a really long time.

At that, Shulamith chimed in with this brilliant piece of information:

"Mom is really good at dieting. She's just not good at losing weight."

True that. I've been fighting the same final five pounds, the absence of which would give me the body of my dreams (at least I'm pretty sure it would), for as long as I can remember. I will not give up. I will master this. These five stupid pounds will not defeat me. 

So that is my contribution to the world today, three statements of irony from my wonderful family. I hope they give you reason to smile.