Drug Addict?

I think I've mentioned before that my family has a history of addiction. Back as far as I can remember, my relatives struggled with any number of issues: alcoholism, compulsive gambling, overeating, excessive spending, tobacco dependence, and these are all situations I have witnessed first hand! Yep, I was genetically predisposed to inherit an addictive personality. And I have it. At least I think so. I'm pretty dang compulsive. And I do love my Diet Coke! Seriously, though, aware of this family history, I've been uber careful all my life about potential substance abuse and common addictive behaviors. I've often joked that I'm pretty sure I'd be an alcoholic, if only I drank alcohol.

I don't take any prescription meds, and even over-the-counter medication scares me. So I basically don't use it. I have to be hurting pretty bad to take so much as an Ibuprofen. I worry about the side effects of medicine; doesn't it all have to be processed through the kidneys and liver? I'm pretty fond of my kidneys and liver. Just sayin'. 

So here's what happened. Here in Utah, I struggle with allergies more than anywhere else I have lived. Meine Gute! Apparently, the pollen count is unusually high here? One day a month or so ago, Gerald said it was higher here than anyplace in the country, save El Paso, TX. And this summer, this nasty pollen has made me sick. Literally. My throat constricts, my eyes water, my ears itch, my head aches. If only I could cut off my head, I know I would feel just fine. Remember when I thought I had throat cancer? Yeah, turns out it was just really bad allergies.

So all summer Shulamith has been hounding me about taking allergy medicine. "You don't have to feel like this," she says. I resisted and resisted. I do not like to take medicine (see above). Finally, one night when I was suffering pretty severely, she brought up one tiny pill, one of Matt's over-the-counter, non-drowsy allergy pills. And I caved. I took it. Wow! Within an hour, I felt like a new person. Ninety percent of my symptoms were gone. Unbelievable!

That was about a month ago. Every day since then, I have taken one of these pills. Every. Single. Day. I can't help myself. This must be what it feels like to be a drug addict. Every day I tell myself, "Today I will not take one of these pills." But about 24 hours after I took the last one, my symptoms start to return in full force. It's awful! I start coughing. My throat becomes scratchy and constricted. My ears itch. My eyes water. And like a drug addict, I begin to think, "I could feel so much better if I just took one little pill." And what do I do? I go take a pill. Yes, yes I do. Zero will power.

So that's my story of the day. It's not good. Who knows what damage I'm doing to my internal organs by taking all these pills? People tell me that once the first freeze comes, it will kill whatever causes these allergies, and I'll feel better without medication. I really hope so.