How do you know when you're ready for your first baby?

This question was a prompt on a website I write for, and it allowed me to remember back to a time long ago.

When Gerald and I got married, our plan was to wait three years and then decide about kids. I would have completed my master's degree by then, and we hoped to be more stable financially. Would we be ready for a baby in three years? I didn't know. I only knew I wasn't ready then. Or at least I didn't think so. I will never forget our third anniversary. We lived in a small town in Eastern Oregon, and we had very little money, but we desperately wanted to go away somewhere, even if just overnight. So we drove the four hours to Portland and rented a cheap motel.

As I lay in bed, I looked across the room at my 20-month-old son asleep on the couch and then glanced down at my 3-month-old daughter cradled in my arms. And I said to my husband, “What happened to our plan?” In three short years, we had not one, but two babies! I had quit my job to stay home with them, and we were dirt poor, but we were happy. Because ready or not, oh how we loved those babies! We loved them so much that in time we would have three more.

When I consider the question “How do you know when you're ready for a baby?” I have to say I honestly have no idea. Can you ever really be ready? Can you be ready for the long, sleepless nights and the even longer days, when chronic sleep deprivation makes you feel like you're starring in The Walking Dead? Can you be ready for a time that you celebrate the days you actually get a shower (never mind hairstyle or makeup)? Can you be ready for all the other days when you chronically smell like whatever combination of bodily fluids happens to be on your clothes?

But then there's this. Can you be ready for the feeling you get when that wee newborn wraps her tiny hand around your finger for the first time? Can you be ready for the way your heart melts when your little guy looks into your eyes as if to say, “I was sent here just for you”? Can you be ready for the joy you feel in his first smile, her first laugh, his first word, her first hug?

I don't know if we can ever truly be ready, but I'm glad ours came to us when they did. It wasn't according to our plan, and it wasn't always easy, but it was exactly right.

What do you think? How do you know when you're ready for a baby?