Today is special. It is the day grammar nerds from far and wide unite in celebration of carefully crafted sentences, proper punctuation, and brilliant syntax. In case you haven't heard, it's National Grammar Day! Can I get an “Amen!”? And not to go all negative on this day of days, but nothing frustrates grammar nerds (aka OCD copy editors) like me more than dumb errors. We all have our personal pet peeves. May I share a few of mine on this glorious day? You know you want me to.
Pronoun-antecedent agreement. Friends tell me I'm fighting a losing battle here, but fight I shall. Until death. My death. When I'm dead, if people want to make the word “they” a singular pronoun, I suppose they can, but so long as I draw breath, “they” will remain plural. As such, it cannot be used to replace a singular antecedent. I do understand the problem; English does not provide a singular pronoun that is both masculine and feminine, but there are ways around this. My mantra: “Go plural!” Whenever possible, make your antecedent plural. Then you're safe with “they.”
Misuse of Apostrophes. Folks, listen carefully: Every time you use an apostrophe to make a word plural when it's not possessive, a puppy dies! This includes last names. You have about nine months to remember this rule before it's time to send out Christmas cards. No matter how desperately you want to put that nasty apostrophe in your last name and create a ridiculous construction such as “The Webster's,” don't do it. Just don't.
Incorrect use of “literally” and “unique.” The word “literally” means absolutely true with no exaggeration. So if you “literally died,” you could not be telling me about it. Or if you “literally” crapped your pants, oh I really hope you didn't. The word “unique” refers to something that is the only one, ever, in existence, the sole example. People are unique. Hardly anything else is. Things cannot be “very” unique or “really” unique or “more” unique. They are either unique or they are not.
Semicolon issues. Pretty sure semicolons are the least understood punctuation marks in the English language. I see them in all kinds of places they don't belong. Semicolons combine independent clauses (complete sentences) when the two clauses are very closely related. They can also function as “super commas,” to avoid confusion in lists when individual items in the list contain commas. That's it for semicolons. Nothing more.
On that note, tell us your pet grammar peeves on this loveliest of days. I have quite a menagerie. How about you?
Pronoun-antecedent agreement. Friends tell me I'm fighting a losing battle here, but fight I shall. Until death. My death. When I'm dead, if people want to make the word “they” a singular pronoun, I suppose they can, but so long as I draw breath, “they” will remain plural. As such, it cannot be used to replace a singular antecedent. I do understand the problem; English does not provide a singular pronoun that is both masculine and feminine, but there are ways around this. My mantra: “Go plural!” Whenever possible, make your antecedent plural. Then you're safe with “they.”
Misuse of Apostrophes. Folks, listen carefully: Every time you use an apostrophe to make a word plural when it's not possessive, a puppy dies! This includes last names. You have about nine months to remember this rule before it's time to send out Christmas cards. No matter how desperately you want to put that nasty apostrophe in your last name and create a ridiculous construction such as “The Webster's,” don't do it. Just don't.
Incorrect use of “literally” and “unique.” The word “literally” means absolutely true with no exaggeration. So if you “literally died,” you could not be telling me about it. Or if you “literally” crapped your pants, oh I really hope you didn't. The word “unique” refers to something that is the only one, ever, in existence, the sole example. People are unique. Hardly anything else is. Things cannot be “very” unique or “really” unique or “more” unique. They are either unique or they are not.
Semicolon issues. Pretty sure semicolons are the least understood punctuation marks in the English language. I see them in all kinds of places they don't belong. Semicolons combine independent clauses (complete sentences) when the two clauses are very closely related. They can also function as “super commas,” to avoid confusion in lists when individual items in the list contain commas. That's it for semicolons. Nothing more.
On that note, tell us your pet grammar peeves on this loveliest of days. I have quite a menagerie. How about you?
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