"IRL": But what if it's weird?

Last week I went to my favorite breakfast place in Salt Lake City, Park Cafe, and enjoyed a lovely breakfast with two people I had never met before. Both were friends I knew online, but until last week, not face to face. Each time I prepare to meet an online acquaintance “In Real Life,” a tiny bit of apprehension accompanies my stomach. “What if it's weird?” I always wonder whether, “IRL,” these people will be the way I imagined them. Will they look like their online photos? Will their personalities resemble their online characters? Will it be awkward?

I don't stress too much about this anymore because I've done it so many times, but there's always a tiny bit of uncertainty. I remember the first time I met an online acquaintance face to face. It was back in the late 80s, the pre-internet days, when the only way to communicate online was through an online service as a part of a discussion group or “forum.” The one we used was called GEnie, and I was active in several forums there: parenting, religion, and politics (shocking, I know).

Gerald and I had “met” and become friends with a guy named Ike from South Dakota in a religion forum, and he was visiting the Pacific Northwest and wanted to meet up. Back then people were extremely wary of this type of thing. Online communication was new; stories circulated of face-to-face meetings with frightening consequences. I wasn't particularly worried about meeting Ike, but I was glad Gerald was going with me. It was wonderful! Ike was exactly the way I imagined him, even physically, and back then online forums were text only. He had presented himself online with total transparency. His wife was lovely as well.

Then there are Susie and Holly, women I met on GEnie parenting and religion forums, respectively, way back when. It was easy to get together with Holly because she happened to live in Seattle when we lived in Mt. Vernon. Susie was in Denver, but she actually flew to Seattle for a special event in my life, even though we had never met previously IRL. In both cases, that anxious feeling was present, but only until we laid eyes on each other, hugged tight, and continued right where our online conversations had left off.

So far, all my initial meet-ups with online friends have been extremely positive, and last week was no exception. As one of those with us remarked, “When we talk for 2 1/2 hours over breakfast, I think you can safely use it as evidence that we enjoyed ourselves.” Indeed! These two were fun and fabulous. I hope we can do it again soon.