It's about connection

I'd like to introduce you to my friend and personal therapist, Jay Ericksen. To be clear, she is not related to Gerald. Their last names are like homonyms--sound the same but spelled differently.

I met Jay 13 years ago, when we moved from Washington to Billings, Montana. She remembers our first meeting. I don't, but she says it was in the foyer of our church building, one of our first Sundays in the ward. She says 4-year-old Seth was by my side, and through the years as I post updated pictures of him, her mind is always blown because to her, he will always be that 4-year-old little boy. Me too, Jay. Me too.

We barely knew each other when we decided to take a road trip together to Utah. She wanted to visit her sisters here, and I wanted to visit Shulamith, who was in her first year of college at Westminster. I'm still amazed that we decided to do this. Nine hours each way in a car with someone you hardly know?! That comes with the potential for all kinds of scary.

All I can tell you is that trip changed everything. We literally (and I only use that word in its most correct denotation) talked nonstop the entire drive there and back. Let me add one other thing here about Jay. There are so many wonderful things to say about Jay, but this....this! She enjoys driving! That's right, she actually likes to drive. I hate driving, so she gladly drove both ways.

I can't tell you every single thing we talked about in those 18 hours together in my minivan. I'm sure I've forgotten some things, and others--well--therapy is confidential for a reason. Despite fairly different backgrounds and demographics, we discovered important commonalities and connected on a level that parallels few other relationships I have, even some that have been years in the making. In all my trips between Billings and Salt Lake City (and there were way too many to count), I have never felt the time pass so quickly. 

After that trip, we were forever bonded, bonded as friends, bonded as confidants, bonded as each other's "therapist." How incredibly lovely! From that point on, Jay and I continued our "therapy" sessions monthly-ish. Sometimes we'd get busy, and two or three months would go by without one, but that just made it all the more special when we could finally meet. We always went to Applebee's in the Heights, where we'd eat dinner and sit for 3-4 hours.

That all ended in July of 2011, when my family left Billings and moved here. Now our therapy sessions are only once a year and last only a couple hours. I am so thankfu to her for taking the time to see me when she's here visiting family, and equally thankful to her family for graciously letting her go.

One of those yearly therapy sessions happened yesterday. I think the Lord's hand works in our lives far more than we realize, and I think the timing of Jay's trip this year was a tiny tender mercy. I had been feeling extra lonely these past couple weeks, struggling to find my place here in Salt Lake, wondering if I'll ever belong here or if a happy life here will ever be possible. When Jay messaged that she'd be in town this week, I may or may not have jumped right out of my seat and shouted for joy!

The time is never, ever, long enough. Those couple of hours sail by quickly. Somewhere in the middle of our conversation, Jay said, "It's about connection." She is right. Connection is what separates our more superficial relationships from those that endure. Emotional connection is what powers those lasting friendships through the ups and downs of life. I am grateful to have a few of those connections, and so very glad Jay is one of them.

Safe travels back to Billings, Jay. Already looking forward to next year.