It's been a meh sort of week. I'm irritated at some people not worth mentioning here, and that, combined with hot weather and not enough sleep, has put me in a bit of a snarky mood. So let me apologize right up front for that.
Sorry.
The result of my bad attitude is finding myself annoyed by some simple, totally inconsequential things, but annoyed all the same.
As many of you know, I loathe imprecise, wordy language. Truth is as I go back and read earlier posts in this blog, I constantly edit to improve conciseness and clarity in my own writing. Let's face it; we're all damn wordy, and we need to fix it! Three linguistic issues are bothering me today. The first is the phrase "reach out." I am so over people reaching out to each other--I kinda want to scream.
No, I don't mean literally. Well, I do mean literally that I want to scream, but I don't mean literally reaching out. It's this new thing to say "reach out" over and over, every time we mean that we want to contact someone:
"I'll reach out to him and blah, blah, blah."
"You reach out to her and blah, blah, blah."
"Maybe we can reach out to these people and blah, blah, blah."
Ugh. I'm pretty sure this phrase became overused within the very hour the first person uttered it. Now it's just dumb.
The second phrase that's killing me is not a phrase, but a word: "leverage." Granted, this problem is not as widespread as the "reach out" epidemic, but I recently sat through a sales presentation, where the representative was trying to sell resume editing software. I actually liked the product well enough, but the sales rep used the word "leverage" 36 times, and that's only after I began to count.
Shoot. Me. Now.
He wanted to "leverage participation" and "leverage positive outcomes" and "leverage support from faculty" and "leverage a productive partnership." Goodness. All I could think of was how much I'd like to leverage his remarks right into the ground.
The final issue troubling me today is not a phrase and not a word, but a punctuation mark. "Which one?" you might ask. The semicolon. The beautiful semicolon. I'm pretty sure it's the least understood mark of punctuation in the English language, and I am not just referring my students' writing; I see misplaced semicolons everywhere. Blah!
So here's a 4-step program to deal with this. No, it's not quite a 12-step program, but it's still good.
Step 1: Acknowledgement.
Acknowledge that you have a problem: I, [insert first name], admit that I do not know how or when to use semicolons.
Step 2: Termination.
Stop using semicolons until you learn how to use them correctly. Semicolons are almost always a choice, not a requirement, so just stop using them!
Step 3: Education
Learn how to use semicolons correctly. You can look online at sites such as "Grammar Girl" or "OWL Purdue," or simply ask someone who knows to explain it to you. It's fairly simple. It won't take long. (P.S. I always wanted to be "Grammar Girl." Clearly missed my true calling.)
Step 3: Freedom
Exercise deliberate, judicious use of this amazing mark of punctuation. Free from the bondage of poor sentence structure, you are now able to make excellent rhetorical choices that include semicolons. Yay!
One last thing. If you don't want to go online, you can always reach out to me for help. Perhaps together we can leverage better understanding of this important issue.
Sorry. I couldn't resist.
Finally, let me just say that God's presence is evident in spite of snarky attitudes. As I finished writing this late last night, my mood was every bit as annoyed and sarcastic as this post reveals. But then today, this friend dropped by, random, unexpected. Without discussing the details, I promise you that she was literally the only person on earth with the understanding to make a positive impact on my mood today. She knew exactly the right thing to say, and she said it over and over. And she told me to say it. And she told me to tell Shulamith to say it to me.
I don't know if she likes to be identified by name in a blog as public as this one, so I won't do that. But you know exactly who you are. Thank you! Really, you made my day.
And the rest of you as well, who read my posts and tell me you like them. It means so much. Here's to a snarky attitude transformed into gratitude.
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