139. Theodore had a sub in his primary class Sunday. We happened to see her tonight, and she told us they were talking about being strong.
Theodore: I'm so strong. I beated up a 9-year-old, and I beated up an 11-year-old. [Uh, I find it interesting that Kennedy is 9 and Swen is 11. Also, Theodore is the sweetest child ever born, so I can't imagine him beating up anyone.]
140. Theodore: I'm never going to get married.
Shulamith: Why not?
Theodore: Because I want to live here with you forever. Do some people never get married and stay home forever?
Shulamith: Yes, I think some people do that.
Theodore: Well, I'm going to do that.
141. I forgot to refasten my seatbelt after grabbing our mail from the mailboxes, so everyone was yelling at me about it (because I am very strict about seatbelts. Shulamith lets them unbuckle in the neighborhood, but I definitely do not! So when they saw me riding unbuckled, they were excited to mock me about it.
Theodore: Terrianne Her Monson!!!!! (Haha, he's only just slightly confused with all the names in our family.)
142. Shulamith and took her kids to McDonald's for dinner a couple days ago. As we were walking in, a group of Latino men were speaking in Spanish. Theodore, who is in his first year of dual immersion Spanish, looked up a them and said:
Theodore: Hola!
(It was the cutest, and I think they all thought so too.)
143. Theodore is an expert at Lego. In Swen's words, "He's a Lego God." Seriously, with enough time, he can build most anything. He's here with me tonight, and he brought a Lego airplane he made.
Me: Wow, that's amazing. You are so good at building Lego projects.
Theodore: I'm actually thinking of working in a Lego factory.
144. Shulamith (knowing Theodore had a sub at school): How was the sub? Were you guys nice to her?
Theodore: No, not really.
Shulamith: Why not?
Theodore: Well, we don't really like subs. We only like Ms. Ray. So we aren't very nice to subs.
145. Me (the day after Easter): Didn't we have a fun Easter? We got to go to church, and then hunt for eggs and eat yummy food.
Theodore: I do NOT like church. I do not like church at all. It is so boring.
Me: Yeah, sometimes it is boring for me too, but sometimes I like it. But Jesus and our Heavenly Parents want us to go to church.
Theodore: It is always boring for me. That's why I do not like it.
146. Theodore came over last evening to spend the night. As we gathered snacks and headed upstairs, he was telling me about his life and his friends.
Theodore: I like playing with friends. But I have two friends who don't listen when I tell them not to do stuff. One of them is named Ellis, and the other one is named Winston.
147. Today, as I drove Theodore and one of his teammates to soccer practice, I eavesdropped on their conversation, as each tried to outdo the other with a higher number.
Jonah: I can score a million goals.
Theodore: I score a trillion goals.
Jonah: I can score infinity goals!
Theodore; "Infinity" is not a real number; it's an abstract concept. A trillion is a real number.
148. Kennedy: The boys in my class are so dumb!
Shulamith: Really? How are they dumb?
Kennedy: They're just super annoying?
Shulamith: Yeah, I don't know what to tell you; boys are just annoying.
Theodore (overhearing): That makes me very sad.
149. SCP, which stands for "Secure, Contain, Protect" are these very creepy-looking monsters on the video-game platform, Roblox.
Theodore (when Shulamith was tucking him into bed): Mom, I'll probably come in your room tonight and wake you up.
Shulamith: Why?
Theodore: Because Swen says there are SCP under my bed, and I'll have nightmares about them.
150. Recently Swen was climbing way too high on something, thanks to his father, who teaches all their kids to climb everything in their paths. Shulamith and I were feeling anxious enough to calmly encourage him to come down.
Theodore: I don't like him, but I don't want him to fall.
151. Theodore is in the DLI (dual language immersion) at his school, which means half of his school days are taught in English and the other half in Spanish. What an incredible opportunity! Tonight was the 1st grade DLI program, and Shulamith was asking him some questions ahead of time.
Shulamith: How many song are you singing in your program tonight?
Theodore: 61.
Shulamith: 61 songs? Are you sure you don't mean the program is 61 minutes?
Theodore: No! 61 songs.
(It could be a very long evening. Stay tuned!)
152. Theodore (looking at a sticker I put on my Stanley): Where did you get that?
Me: At Harmon's.
Theodore: Was it free?
Me: No.
Theodore: How much did it cost?
Me: $3.00.
Theodore: Oh my gosh! $3.00 for one sticker. It should have been free or cost $.50.
153. Shulamith: Theodore, you are getting so dark already this summer from being in the sun.
Theodore: Is that what makes people's skin dark? The sun?
Shulamith: Yes,..,,,,
Matt (interrupting): NOOOOOOO!
At that point Shulamith realized that she and Theodore were definitely not on the same page. While she meant that the sun can make our skin darker in the summer, Theodore was thinking it must be the sun that makes all people of color have dark skin.
Shulamith: Oh, wait, No! That's just how our Heavenly Parents made them! They create people with all different colors of skin.
154. Theodore was planning to sleep here at my house one day last week. Around 4:00, he had this conversation with Shulamith.
Theodore: Can I still sleep at Her's house?
Shulamith: Yep.
Theodore: You should text her now to make sure she's still awake.
Shulamith: It's 4:00 in the afternoon. Of course she's still awake.
Theodore: You should text her to make sure. She goes to sleep really early.
155. Theodore wanted some ice cream at Costco, so Shulamith ordered him some.
Shulamith: Theodore, listen for number 62. That's our number for your ice cream.
Theodore: You're the mom. You're supposed to do that.
156. The ONLY thing Theodore wants for Christmas is a $150 box of Pokemon cards that includes 17 individual packs. He won't stop talking about it, trying to get Shulamith to agree to get it.
Shulamith: I'm not going to promise you this present; then Christmas wouldn't be a surprise.
Theodore: I will forget it.
Shulamith: I know your brain. You won't forget it. You should make a list of several things you want for Christmas.
Theodore: You mean I should write this box down on paper, then erase it off my brain?
157. Theodore's 2nd grade teacher called Shulamith yesterday to tell her a funny story that happened in class. The teacher was typing a message from the "Elf" to the class, and Theodore happened to walk by and saw it.
Theodore (to teacher): Why are YOU writing a message from the Elf?
Teacher (thinking on her feet): Well, the Elf doesn't have a printer, so I needed to type up the message for him and print it out.
Theodore: Why doesn't Santa just buy the Elf a printer?
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