Pomp and Circumstance + Mother's Day Joy!

Also known as the graduation march, "Pomp and Circumstance" always floods my mind with nostalgia and my eyes with tears. I go all the way back to memories of my own two commencement ceremonies, marking my undergrad degree from Willamette University and my master's from Western Oregon U. But those two days pale in comparison to watching my own children march boldly into various celebratory venues and receive their degrees. 

We made education a priority in our family, vowing to help our kids financially as much as we were able, if they chose the path of higher education. They all did. Luke graduated from Whitman College in 2006 with a bachelor's degree in psychology and religious studies, and in 2014 from Indiana University with a Ph.D. in psychology. Shulamith graduated from Westminster College in 2008 with a bachelor's degree in elementary education. Isaiah shares Shulamith's alma mater, earning his bachelor's degree in computer science in 2014 from Westminster. Eli graduated from BYU-Idaho in 2018 with a bachelor's degree in elementary education.

And now...........................SETH! 

Just over a week ago, I stood in the UCCU Center on the campus of Utah Valley University, as the familiar music began to play, and a flood of green caps and gowns processed through the center of the auditorium. I was crying before I even found Seth. I quickly texted him. "I'm standing up near the stage. When you find your seat, look left of the orchestra and wave!" 

A couple minutes later, he texted back, "I see you!!! I'm waving now."

Our glances met immediately. My crying turned to sobbing, as I jumped up and down, clapping and waving to Seth. My baby. My last graduate. I am so blessed to be his mom and so proud of all he has accomplished in his brief 23 years. And for some reason, all this crazy emotion was tied up in this one moment. 

It was, indeed, a moment.

The ceremony, itself, was less than stellar. The keynote speaker was a self-made billionaire, who spoke for an entire hour (yes, you read that right), and basically said this: If you work very hard and never give up, you can be a billionaire like me, because rejection is just God's protection, and there is only one "you" in the whole universe, so make sure your soul reminds your brain of that every day. 

Over and over and over. For an hour. Not kidding. I was able to escape for a break in the middle and go to the bathroom, but poor Seth was stuck down there in his seat. At one point he texted, "Okay, I'm really starting to get annoyed now. I might start playing chess. I think I see why you love giving talks so much. Hearing this speech makes me want to write a good one."

,,,and bit later, this: "She has a book! We should buy it! I wonder what valuable lessons it holds."

...and finally this: "Okay this is ridiculous, I'm gonna lose my stuff, Mom. She just said the same thing. Word for word. Again. I can't. This is so bad."

It really was that bad. 

We thought it might never end, but eventually it did....until the next afternoon, when Seth had a smaller ceremony, for just the College of Humanities and Social Sciences. This one much better! We got to hear Seth's name read and see him walk across the stage. More tears. More pride. More joy.

That night I hosted a party for him, well more accurately, Amanda and I hosted a party. She decorated our clubhouse in black and gold, and built a balloon arch, and did all sorts of things I could never do. Thank you, Amanda! Our family gathered, along with several of Seth's friends, to show Seth how proud we are and how much we love him. I think he felt it. 

Mother's Day came along way too close on the heels of that huge weekend, and I was also buried in essays, so we decided to keep it small. Shulamith and I felt that the three mothers in the family should not have to plan, cook or clean, so we went to a park where Shulamith's and Eli's kids could play. I got to sit in the breezy sunshine and chat with Eli. Then we grabbed some dinner at Cafe Rio, where Isaiah and Seth joined us, so I could have all four of my Utah kids with me for Mother's Day. 

And I came home to a clean house without doing any work at all. Fabulous! 

The Luck of Texas

Me (a few years ago): Wouldn't it be fun to take each of your kids on a short trip of their choice around their 12th birthday?

Shulamith: Yeah, let's do that.

Then we blinked, and Swen was coming 12. Crazy. During the past year, we've talked to him about where he might like to go. He had no idea. As it came closer, we needed to settle on something so we could make a plan. Still no idea. Finally, we made a list of possibilities, and let him choose. 

#1 The Oregon coast or California, where we could spend time at the beach.

#2 A short cruise out of Los Angeles, stopping for one day in Mexico.

#3 Washington D.C.

#4 Texas

As an aside, Swen is obsessed with Texas. I think this stems from one of his favorite shows, Young Sheldon, but true to form, Swen took it to the next level, and even made a giant Texas state flag to hang in his room! A while back, every day he would shout questions at us, and make us answer in a certain way: WHAT ARE YOU? (A true Texan.) WHAT DO TEXANS DO (They never give up.) WHAT DO THEY LIKE? (Guns!) To be clear, neither Shulamith not I has even the slightest affinity for the state of Texas, and we both detest guns.With all our hearts and souls, we do. Nevertheless, we complied with all this babble because we pretty much do whatever Swen tells us to do.

So we sat him down and reviewed these four options for a trip. He reacted with nominal interest in the first three, but when we mentioned #4, his eyes lit up to match the stunned smile on his face as he said, "You could take me to Texas?"

There was no further discussion. Shulamith decided that San Antonio was the best place to go, because they have both SeaWorld and Six Flags. We spent three days there and experienced the luck of Texas, both bad and good:

Bad luck

Food. We did not succeed very well with food. Evidently, we needed Isaiah to tell us where to eat. The food at SeaWorld was edible, barely; the food at Six Flags was not. We literally threw away our hot dogs. How do you ruin a hot dog, though? The last night we wanted to find some Texas barbecue, and Shulamith used google reviews to find a place, and it seemed like it should be good? But not really. 

Boomerang ride at Six Flags. It was the first ride we went on, and the wait was two full hours. Just as we reached the landing to load, they shut it down for some sort of maintenance check. The ride, itself, was amazing (as were the other five or six roller coasters we had time for), but a two-hour wait for your first ride of the day? Ugh.

Very bad luck

Stolen AirPods. Can you even believe that? We returned from our day at SeaWorld to find Shulamith's AirPods missing. She had left them on their charging station out in plain sight, sadly. I guess all it takes is one dishonest housekeeper. Shulamith called the front desk, and they said they would leave a note for the head of housekeeping, but we don't think that happened. We asked about it again as we checked out, and the person at the desk seemed entirely disinterested and disengaged. Awesome.

The worst luck

Horrible Diet Coke everywhere! Okay tell me, what is the deal with Texas and Diet Coke?? The first day we stopped at a Maverik, like we do most days, and expected our normal fountain Diet Coke. It was wretched! We tried another gas station. Same. I can't explain what it tasted like exactly, but I'd definitely recognize it if I ever had the misfortune of tasting it again. Which I did the very next day at SeaWorld!! Gross. Seriously, what the actual heck?

Bad luck for Shulamith and me; good luck for Swen

Gun store. More than anything, Swen wanted to visit an actual gun store. Whyyyyyy? But this was his trip, so we sucked it up and took him. I can't describe how uncomfortable it felt in there. Eeeek. I mean it wasn't quite as bad as being in the reptile house at the zoo, but almost.Wall-to-wall firearms. Not all were assault weapons; they had hunting rifles, which make some semblance of sense to me, though I wouldn't ever want to get near one, but one entire wall displayed giant assault rifles, whose sole purpose is to kill people. That's it. How very, very sad. In the back of the store they had a target practice room. We weren't allowed in there (Thank you, Jesus(!), because Swen really wanted to go), but windows provided a full view. They had big papers with outlines of human beings, so you could practice shooting them in all the right places. Meine Gute. Well, that's all I'll say about that.

Good luck

Cheap flights out of Provo Airport. For real, if you've never flown out of Provo, I highly recommend it. It's a cute little airport, with one restaurant counter, no line for security, and nice TSA agents. I stopped and offered my heartfelt thanks to the guy for treating me with the respect I deserve. I'm so tired of those people yelling at me and telling me what to do, without so much as a simple please."SHOES OFF, ELECTRONICS OUT, FEET ON FOOTPRINTS, HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD!" Shut the "F" up. They irritate me so much that I refuse to make eye contact with them and move through the process as slowly as I possibly can, because you know, that's definitely the mature response. But this guy provided excellent service and was kind. Wow!

Meal at Torchy's Tacos. The only exception to our bad luck with food was the one meal we ate at Torchy's Tacos. Yummmm! I had one taco with barbacoa, avocado, cotija cheese, onions, and cilantro; and another with grilled chicken, onions, and peppers, pico and cheddar jack cheese. Shulamith got that one too, along with a breakfast one. All were, as the sign informed: "Damn good tacos." We need a Torchy's here in Utah.

Pills that allow Shulamith to ride rides. She generally can't ride anything that spins without feeling nauseous, and even some roller coasters make her sick. But these pills helped so much that she was able to ride almost everything with Swen and me.

Very good luck

The weather both days. We thought it was gonna be so hot, but our two days in the parks were overcast and pleasant. Shulamith doesn't love the humidity, but for me it's a win because my skin feels so soft, unlike here.

No lines at SeaWorld. Not even kidding. We literally walked onto the rides. Swen and I rode the Tidal Surge three timers in a row! It's a giant swing that goes high and fast. Shulamith did this one only once, but at least she did it!

Alligator. Swen and Shulamith petted an alligator! Fortunately, it was a baby, and small enough not to bite them! I did NOT pet the thing, which is gonna grow about a foot a year and eventually be 12-feet long.

The best luck

Spending four uninterrupted days with our favorite Swen! He says it was the best trip of his life, and that is all we could have hoped for!

(I don't think he's ever seen one before!)

How do you make sourdough? Let me share my secret!

Suddenly (it feels like), sourdough is a thing. I'm sure people made sourdough bread throughout history. 

But now it's a thing. It's trending. 

Is that the result of COVID? People were stuck home, so they learned how to make sourdough? Then they gave starter to all their friends? And now everyone makes it? Possible.

At least that's how it happened in our family. Shulamith's husband Mathew learned to make sourdough during COVID when he was working remotely from home. Of course, Matt's a culinary god, so it probably wasn't quite as hard for him as it would be for others to hone his skills and process, one loaf at a time, to utter perfection. And yes, he does make perfect sourdough.

If you're wondering when I'm going to get to the point here, the part about the secret to making sourdough, wait no longer.

What is my secret to making sourdough?

This girl....

Her name is Amanda, and she is one of my best friends. She is also Eli's very cool wife. Amanda is one of several recipients of Matt's sourdough starter, and she has worked diligently the past few months to perfect her own sourdough. If you haven't tried making sourdough, you may not know that it's a l-o-n-g process; for both Amanda and Matt, it takes two whole days! You have to worry about "proofing" (which, I think, means leaving the dough to rise just the right amount, at just the right temperature). You do this at least twice, maybe even more? Then you also have go through the "stretching and folding" process several times. I saw a meme that compared this to a "grownup's slime play," and yes, that's what it looks like.

How would a terrible cook like me ever do all this? She wouldn't. Not a chance. My secret to making delicious sourdough is beautifully simple. Get Amanda to make it for me. I know you're all shaking your heads while looking at your flour-covered hands and flour-covered kitchens and wondering. "Why didn't I think of this?"

I know, right? But too late. She's already taken. She's mine. Every few days, I get a fresh loaf of yummy sourdough. Made at home, it's about the healthiest bread you could eat. The ingredients are flour, water, and salt. That's it. I read that the fermentation process actually serves to stabilize blood sugar, which has proven true, as Shulamith's T1 diabetic son, Swen, experiences no spike at all after eating his dad's sourdough.

Eli and Amanda celebrated their 8th wedding anniversary a couple days ago. There is a long list of reasons why I'm grateful these two found each other and now I get to hang out with Amanda, but this sourdough is pretty dang high on that list.

I almost missed church!

Of all the church services of the year, it seems Easter would be the one not to miss. I mean isn't Easter the highest, most holy day on the Christian calendar? 

And yet......I almost missed it.

I woke up at 5:30 a.m. Sunday morning and glanced at my phone. "No. Nooooo! I am NOT getting up at 5:30 a.m." I turned over and pulled the warm covers over my head, adjusted my pillow just right, and closed my eyes. But sleep did not come. Instead, the long list of tasks I still needed to complete in preparation for our Easter celebration ruminated through my brain. Anxiety? Perhaps. Or maybe just normal "mom brain" on a major holiday. Either way, it was clear I wasn't going back to sleep. 

I got up and threw on my big Montana coat over my pajamas and took Waffles out to go to the bathroom. Back inside, I scrolled briefly through my favorite workout videos and selected one of the 30-minutes, full body ones with trainers Toya and Juice. I have several go-to videos with various trainers, but I love these two for a couple reasons: She (Toya) always demonstrates the more challenging options, while he (Juice) shows the easier modifications. She is so strong! Ooooh! But more importantly, neither of them chatters at me through the workout. I hate it when these trainers decide to be motivational inspirers. Stay in your own lane. If I want a life coach, I'll find me one. All I want from you is to model the strength training.

I planned to shower and get ready after working out, but it was so much earlier than I anticipated, you know, because it was never my plan to get up at 5:30 a.m. (Grrrrrrr!). So instead, I hid 63 candy-filled, plastic eggs all over the house and put finishing touches on baskets. Then I made green bean casserole, stuffing, and brownies. Finally, I put on sweats and a coat and headed out to walk. It had been overcast earlier when I took Waffles out, but now it was full on raining! What a perfect Easter morning! Rain, beautiful rain. I felt like I was home in the Pacific Northwest. I put in my AirPods and continued listening to my audiobook, as I walked. And walked. And walked. And totally lost track of time. 

Drenched, but happy, I glanced at my watch. Eeeek, it was 9:20 a.m., and I was supposed to be at Eli's church at 10:00 to attend sacrament meeting with him and Amanda and watch Amanda lead the music. I power-walked home, took the quickest shower of my life, got dressed, and did makeup and hair, all in about 20 minutes. By 9:50, I was in my car driving way too fast to Herriman. I arrived about 15 seconds before the meeting began. It was a good meeting. Their ward is huge, and with all the extra "Easter" people (like me!) the congregational hymns were lively and inspiring. We sang the standard "Christ the Lord is Risen Today" and "He is Risen," and the Primary kids sang "The Miracle," one of my favorites.

After church, I went to Eli and Amanda's house to eat crepes and watch Jane find eggs and open her Easter basket. 

Then I left the three of them to take naps, and returned home to finish my own Easter prep. At around 5:30, Seth and Isaiah arrived, followed by Shulamith and family, then Eli, Amanda, and Jane. Our home was filled to the brim with so many of my favorite people, so much noise, and so much scrambling to find the 63 plastic eggs the "Easter Bunny" had hidden. I'm so grateful my big kids still love to hunt for eggs; I'm pretty sure I'll cry if the day ever comes when they decide they're too old.

We decided to have "Thanksgiving dinner" for Easter, and Mathew smoked two turkeys on his amazing Traeger grill. All the food seemed extra good for some reason, and dessert was no exception. We had ice cream brownie sundaes, with toppings that included Thin Mint and Samoa Girl Scout cookies; Reese's Peanut Butter Cups; Kit Kat bars; fresh strawberries and raspberries and bananas (healthy, right?); hot fudge and caramel sauce; rainbow sprinkles; and whipped cream!

After eating all this food, I rolled myself upstairs and into bed, exhausted from the very early start to a very busy day. But grateful. So grateful to have the coolest family ever and that they all love to be together. And grateful for the risen Lord, whose selfless sacrifice offers us grace, redemption, and life eternal.

"Death is conquered; we are free. Christ has won the victory."

Speechless

It is rare for me to be at a loss for words. But it happened.

In fact, so speechless was I that it's been a few days since this incident occurred, and I'm only now putting words to it. 

I sat at my desk in my home office, feeling great after grading the last of 62 annotated bibliographies. I should have just walked downstairs and cracked open a fresh can of Diet Coke. Or wandered down the hall to my bedroom and climbed in bed to watch a show. Or picked up my Kindle and continued reading about Phil Knight, the creator or Nike, in his memoir, Shoe Dog.

I should have done anything but what I did: open Outlook for my three schools. As I scrolled through a dozen emails, one stood out because I didn't recognize the student's name. Then I noticed that it came from a student in my hybrid class, which meets on Mondays only. Because of all the Monday holidays this semester, this class has only met nine times. Maybe that's why I didn't recognize the student's name?

I clicked on the email. It was pure ChatCPT start to finish. Eight paragraphs of annoyingly bland sentences, pablum really, with that nauseating cadence unique to robotic writing. Blah. And what did these eight paragraphs say, you may be wondering? An apology for the student's "recent lack of participation" and an understanding that "consistent attendance and engagement are essential components of a successful academic experience." Next, it explains that the student has been facing significant challenges due to a "heavy workload from other classes." After eight paragraphs of this, the robot email concludes by expressing gratitude for my "understanding and patience" and that my "support and guidance are greatly appreciated."

After throwing up (okay, not really, but almost), I flipped over to Canvas to check this student's progress and grades. Turns out the student has never, even once, attended class. The attendance record shows Present, 0 days; Tardy, 0 days; Absent, 9 days. No wonder I didn't recognize the name; I've never met this person! Then I checked grades. The student currently has 0%, having submitted not a single assignment. Then I checked email history. No prior emails. So in Week #11 of a 15-week semester, this student contacts me for the first time ever, asking for help. And the worst part of all?????

They do it using that awful ChatGPT! 

Zero genuine voice. Zero captivating tone. Zero rhetorical style. This, along with zero attendance and zero grade percentage left me with....uh....

Zero words. Speechless. (And sad. Also sad. Because I really do want all my students to succeed.)

Leapin' through February!

In my experience, January lasts about a year, February lasts about an hour, and suddenly it's March. Yes, I realize February is the shortest month; still it's not that much shorter, and every four years it's not that much shorter at all. This is one of those years, yet here we are, at the end of February, and I barely remember anything about it. What exactly happened? What did I even do? I have a vague memory of the dredges of January and its never-ending cold but no Christmas and the feeling that it would never end. But suddenly, tomorrow is March. 

I guess a few things happened worth noting, so here goes.

Of course the very best thing that happened in February was our NYC trip, fully documented here. At least once a day, I say to myself "I'd really rather be in New York." This feeling will fade with time but never fully vanish. Until my next visit. I do love it there.

Valentine's Day passed without much frivolity; someone brought me two chocolate cupcakes, which I couldn't eat because of the 4 lbs. I gained in NYC that I was still working to lose. Eli and Amanda's daughter, Jane, made Valentines for everyone. Look how hard she worked:

The day after V. day, Shulamith's daughter Kennedy's had her dance company fireside, where she danced magnificently. Kennedy is so dedicated to her art, and it shows. 

And last week, Seth told me he was feeling like he hadn't seen anyone in a long time. He's only 20 minutes away, but he works lots, along with finishing his final semester at UVU. He'll graduate May 2nd, and I couldn't be any more excited than to celebrate our fifth and final college graduate! 

I told Seth that if he picked a night to drive up for dinner, I'd invite everyone, and hopefully at least a couple of the sibs would be able to come. But as it turned out, they all came, all the locals that is! It was such a fun evening to have all four of them together for no special reason other than to hang out and catch up. We stayed a long time. I felt extra blessed these people belong to me.

I just looked back at my post from Leap Day four years ago. It was so innocent. I taught a class. Walked two dogs. Met Shulamith for lunch at Cafe Rio. Ran an errand in Lehi. Took another walk. Bought groceries. 

Nothing out of the ordinary. 

Little did I know that the following month the world would shut down. A virus would cause a pandemic the proportions of which none of had ever experienced or expected. We would learn a new term: "social distance." We would stay home almost all the time. We would fear contact with others. We would worry about every cough, sneeze, or fever. We would worry especially over our elderly friends and family members. We would watch in horror as people died.

We would also learn a lot. We would learn to be grateful and to trust more. We would learn how resilient we are. We would learn how much our faith means to us, wherever it is centered. And though every one of us felt the trauma of that time, we also found our way through the trauma and began to heal. I expect we will never be quite the same as we were before COVID; hopefully what we learned will serve us and others well.

Happy Leap Day, everyone!

"You'll be back!"

My favorite song from the four shows we saw this past weekend was this one, sung by King George in the award-winning Hamilton. On our trip to NYC nearly two years ago, Hamilton was still way too expensive, at least for the seats I like, where I can see their sweat. This time, we were able to get tickets, and Oh. My. Goodness. There is a reason this show won so many awards. How does one person write the entire script, along with all the amazing song lyrics AND the music to create this incredible of piece of art, and then star as the lead when the show first opens? You would have to ask Lin-Manuel Miranda. I'm baffled by the degree of talent it would take to do all that, but grateful to Miranda for sharing that talent, so I could experience the story of Alexander Hamilton in such a genre as the Broadway stage. The show was pure delight from start to finish, especially the first time King George took the state to remind the American colonists how much he loves them:

You'll be back like before

I will fight the fight and win the war...

'Cause when push comes to shove,

I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love!

Second place goes to the song "One Day I'll Carry You Home" from The Notebook. Guys, we were literally there the second day of the show's Preview performances! Can you even believe that? It was so good, far better than the movie (and I loved the movie)! Three couples played the leads: younger Allie and Noah, middle Allie and Noah, and older Allie and Noah, and the way the director staged all of them to move fluidly among the years was nothing short of brilliant!

I've got a secret to tell

I'm falling in love with you.

And I know, nothing else matters

'Cause one day I'll carry you home.

The whole world might think we're crazy,

But one day I'll carry you to our home,

And one day you'll be my home.

Third place song is in the second act when Sweeny sings the reprise of "Johanna" to honor his daughter, who was taken from him as a baby, when he was unjustly exiled to Australia fifteen years earlier. We saw Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street between its Josh Groban/Annaleigh Ashford run and before the new cast to include Aaron Tveit and Sutton Foster. But be very clear: I can't imagine better performances than we witnessed from Nicholas Christopher (Sweeny) and Jeanna de Waal (Mrs. Leavitt) last weekend. They had been Groban's and Ashford's understudies up to that point, but they took that stage and owned it. I loved every second. 

I feel you, Johanna

I feel you

Do they think that vaults can hide you?

Even now I'm at your window.

I am in the dark beside you

Very sweetly in your yellow hair,

Johanna, Johanna.

Finally, fourth place song goes to "Shape of My Heart" from &Juliet. We bought tickets to the first three shows (above) before we left home, but decided to take a chance on last-minute bargains for our fourth and final show. As I stood in an enormous line at the Cheap Broadway Tickets booth, Shulamith decided to run around to various theatres to see if she could find us discounted tickets. She did (!) for the show &Juliet. We decided to chance it, and it turned out to be a great choice. Alongside three shows with serious themes, &Juliet was just pure fun! In a retelling of Shakespeare's original, Juliet decides not to kill herself over a boy she's known only a few days, and goes on to live her own life, following her own rules. Gotta love Shakespeare with a feminist twist. The show features covers from a variety of pop music, and "Shape of My Heart" was my favorite.

We were so excited to have Isaiah with us this time, and I believe we've successfully converted him to Broadway musicals. I'm shocked how much he likes them. In his words, "I can't stay here much longer. I have to drop $200 every day I'm here to see another show." He went with us to Hamilton, Sweeny, and &Juliet; then he had the nerve to stay one more day after we left and go see Merrily We Roll Along. We're very jealous.

We mostly ate bagels and watched shows the entire four days, though we did manage to work out at the hotel gym...

...and take a lovely walk in Central Park...(photo on top)

As always, both Shulamith and I grieved leaving NYC and the Broadway stage. It's just so hard to say goodbye. But I'm certain when King George sang "You'll Be Back," he was singing right to us. 

Yes, King George. We will indeed be back.