Best of 2025 (And toxic positivity is never my style)!

Amanda mentioned last night that, in addition to the fact that I don't blog as much as I once did, she's waiting for my yearly "Favorites" or "Bests" post. Sadly, she is correct. I also have never worked as much as I did this last year. Blogging is a favorite hobby, right up there with reading, walking, traveling, and strength-training, but blogging is the one that gets skipped when the essays pile up. I only have 26 posts in my 2025 blog book, so barely over two per month. Not enough. But all I could manage. Maybe this year will be easier, but not likely.

Here we go with "Bests"!

Best Movie: Song Sung Blue. You can't be the true Neil Diamond fan that I am and not love this movie. Based fairly accurately on a true story, this couple tries (and succeeds!) to create a Neil Diamond tribute band. All the music. All the emotion. And, damn, Hugh Jackman is talented.

Best Movie Runner Up: Hamnet. The story of the inspiration behind William Shakespeare's most notable tragedy, Hamlet, the movie was heart-wrenchingly sad, as I knew it would be. Worth every ugly tear.

Best Live Theatre Production: Maybe Happy Ending wins this one, though I loved all six shows we saw on our annual NYC trip. Such brilliant acting by Darren Criss, so great that we're actually going to see this show again this weekend! Haha, yep, we leave tomorrow for our 2026 NYC Broadway adventure. This time Shulamith's daughter, Kennedy, is coming with us, and Isaiah will meet up with the three of us for two of the days we're there. Which is mainly why we're seeing Maybe Happy Ending again. Isaiah needs to see it!

Best Live Theatre Production Runner Up: Gonna give the nod to Gypsy. Audra McDonald killed it as "Mama Rose," and was robbed of a Tony. And yes, the nostalgia of six-year-old me playing "Baby June" at a Portland Civic Theatre production years ago definitely tipped the scales. I mean it's my earliest actual memory, so gimme some grace.

Best Book: The Unmaking of June Farrow hits themes of love and loyalty, romance and mystery, wrapped up in a time travel plot that's impossible to navigate, so you just choose to "give up and go with it" because you're so fully invested in the characters. So good!

Best Book Runner Up: Atmosphere is spot-on my type of book: Courageous female heroes, historical fiction set in the mid-80s, and brilliant narrative elements that kept me sitting in my car, parked in my driveway for way too long, cuz I couldn't stop listening. One of the many audio books that served to keep me awake and sane on my commutes down to UVU.

Best Concert: Chicago, my favorite 70s band, came to SLC in August, and Shulamith and Isaiah went with me. It was fabulous! Isaiah loves 70s music, and Shulamith (who doesn't like music much at all) said she liked it "okay." Three original band members from Chicago's start in 1967 rocked out for two hours, at ages 77, 78, and 80. I wanna be them when I grow up.

Best Trip: Alaska cruise with several family members wins, but only by a slim margin over our annal NYC trip where we saw six incredible Broadway shows. The cruise was relaxing, the fresh seafood delicious, the scenery beautiful, but mostly it was just fun to travel together with so many of us.

Honorable Mention: The Holy Land. This one should have taken first place. It was two years in the planning, and I wanted to go there so very much; however, one thing after another failed. I will go again one day.

Best TV Show: The Beast in Me. I love Claire Danes, and she crushes the role of Aggie Wiggs in this terrifying show. That's all I'm gonna tell you, except that it's scarier than any other show I watched. Consider yourself warned. You should definitely watch it, though.

Best TV Show Runner Up: Severance, Season 2. This crazy plot gets even crazier, with a "bananas" climax at the end. If you already feel a close relationship to Mark S. and Helly R., you're gonna love Season 2.

Best Party: My friend Emily's 40th birthday celebration in July. Her husband Trent planned a murder mystery dinner, and (without even knowing it) I was the murderer!! Such a fun night.

Since toxic positivity is never my style, I'd be remiss if I did not mention the two "worsts" of 2025:

Runner Up Worst: My ongoing struggle with the neighborhood HOA board and FCS Management Company. This month marks one year since I first learned about this issue, and since that day, I've tried relentlessly to work with these people to resolve it. However, today, January 14, 2026, we are not one step closer to resolution than we were a year ago. As I've said so many times, I feel like I'm starring in a horror movie that never ends!

Worst of 2025: The first year of the current U.S. President's 4-year term. I thought I knew how bad it could get. I believed smart people like Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders who told me how bad it would be if this man were reelected. I had no false hope. And yet. And....yet! I could not fully comprehend the travesty, the utter chaos, the absolute evil that this administration would vomit on our country day after day. Abuse of power, disregard for law or the Constitution, outright government-sanctioned murder of our own citizens, it continues, unchecked. I enter 2026 praying for something to change but fearing it will not.

Jane Expains (Part 5)

140. Jane: Her Her, I went to the doctor today. I'm still four.

141. Jane was struggling with her big emotions and melting down.

Amanda: Jane, tell me what is wrong, 

Jane: (only screaming)

Amanda: Jane, I need you to use words to tell me what is wrong.

[Later]

Amanda: I couldn't help you because you weren't telling me what was wrong.

Jane: I was telling you in my head.

142. Jane [to Eli after he tried to console her by saying "It's okay" after she'd been crying for 10 minutes]:  I don't want to hear "It's okay" anymore! If you say "It's okay" again, then I won't be with you! Only Mom.  

143. Amanda: Where is my phone? It was right here on the couch next to me. Jane, do you know where my phone is?

Jane: Maybe it's in my doctor kit. 

[Eli looks in Jane's doctor kit and pulls out Amanda's phone.]

Amanda: Why is my phone in your doctor kit?

Jane: I forgot it was your phone.

144. Jane has been sick the past couple of days with a viral ear infection. 

Jane: Mom...I think you're doing everything I want.

Amanda: Well yeah kinda. When you're sick, I just want to make you feel happy. You get to be kinda spoiled when you're sick.

Jane: I like being spoiled.

145. At age 4, Jane is busy figuring out the world. A couple days ago, I was at Jane's house, talking to Eli on the phone.

Jane: Why did you call Daddy "Sweetie"?

Me: Because he's my baby, and I love him very much.

Amanda: Her Her is Daddy's mommy, so she loves him a lot.

[Then last night]

Me: Can I have some of this trail mix?

Jane: It's Daddy's treat.

Me: Well, can I still have some?

Jane (to Eli): Can Her Her have some of your treat?

Eli (joking): Nope.

Jane: You should be nice to your mommy.

146. Jane has a wonderful, assertive personality. As a result, she sometimes gets mad at 

Amanda, the safest person in her life. She got mad at her yesterday and stormed into the other room. Soon, Amanda heard her singing.

Jane (singing): I am not going to live with yooooooouuuuuuu. I am going to go awaaaaaayyyyyy.

147. Jane made a paper sombrero and a paper taco at preschool in celebration of Cinco de Mayo. She put the sombrero on her stuffed dog and taco in its lap. Later she walked by the dog and noticed the sombrero had fallen off, and she was convinced that I took it off. I didn't. Like why would I do that?

Jane: Who took the sombrero off my dog?

Me: I don't know, Jane, maybe the wind blew it off.

Jane: Did you take it off?

Me: No, I didn't.

Jane: Yes, you did!

Me: Jane, I did not take the sombrero off your dog. I'm not lying to you.

Jane: I know you did it. I saw you. I have laser eyes. I can see through things.

148. I've been in Europe the past week, so I've been voice texting Jane.

Me: Hi Jane. I miss you very much, but I've visited three castles.

Jane: Did you see any princesses?

Me: No, I haven't seen any princesses, but I'll keep looking. I got you a present today.

Jane: Is it a toy, or something to eat, or something I will just love? 

149. Me (to their cat, Ramsay): Ramsay, why are you climbing all over me? I've told you. I don't like cats.

Jane: Her Her, cats don't understand when people talk to them.

150. Jane does not like to fall down and scratch her knees (or any body part, really), and when there is a scratch that is pink, she thinks that is blood. So tonight at dinner, this happened several times. On the way home...

Jane: Why do I have so much blood? I've had enough blood today. Dad you actually need to carry me inside when we get home. Dad, why do we have blood in real life?

151. Jane has a vivid imagination. I have no imagination at all, so I find this whole realm of childhood fascinating. Lately, Jane has been playing Pokemon video games with Eli. In the middle of a game the other day, she set down her controller and picked up her play phone and proceeded to have a full-on conversation. At the end, she put her phone down, looked at her mom and me, and said:

Jane: A Pokemon trainer was calling me.

152. Jane also has her own "house" set up in a corner of their living room. It has blanket for a floor and all her various castles set up, creating the walls surrounding the "house." She sits in there and makes up stories, using her toys as characters and props. If you want to talk to her, you have to knock on the wall by the "house," which I did recently.

Me: (knock, knock, knock) on the wall.

Jane (with quizzical look on her face): Hmmmm. I wonder who that could be?

Jane (miming opening a door): Oh hi, Her Her!

153. Jane learned an inappropriate joke at her dance class, some sort of stupid bathroom "humor." She thought it was hilarious and told her mom.

Amanda: Oh, Jane, you should definitely tell Her Her that joke when she comes over tonight.

Jane: No, Mom. Her Her does not like p*** jokes.

154. Jane was in the middle of a dramatic sobbing monologue, and Amanda was explaining to her that no one is perfect (other than Jesus). 

Jane: I wish I was the only perfect one like Jesus.

(Then, she stopped crying immediately and grinned):

Jane: Then everyone would call me Jesus Jane!

155. Amanda has a notebook where she writes to-do lists and other personal data she needs to keep track of. She also lets Jane write in it. Jane writes tiny, methodical scribbles, left-to-right on the page (prewriting!). 

Jane: Her Her, would you like to see my notebook? Mommy and I both write in it.

Me: I'd love to, Jane!

Jane: Do you see where it is not real letters? That is me! I don't know how to make letters.

156. Jane drew a picture for her mom, but then she got frustrated and threw her markers across the room. When Amanda told her it's not okay to throw her markers when she's frustrated, Jane immediately found a way to retaliate. She took the picture she had drawn, got scissors out, and while glaring at Amanda, cut the picture in half.

Then, she was so upset that the cut the picture that she was sobbing in a meltdown! Thought her sobs, Amanda heard her lament:

Jane: Do I have a fairy mother to help me? No! Do I have a Pokemon to help me? No, because I don't live in a Pokemon world. Do I have Jesus to help me? No. Do I have anyone to help me with my picture? No!!

157. In other traumatic Jane news, she likes to watch a show called "Izzy's Koala World," where a girl helps her veterinarian mother raise baby koalas and then release them back into the wild. Last night, Jane was once again sobbing because she believes that she should have been born in Australia when she came into the world as a baby in Mommy's tummy. Because she needs to take care of things and she's supposed to be in Australia. 

"God sent me snow on Christmas," I whispered!

Snow came for Christmas.

Rain came for New Year's.

Tender mercies, both.

It's been a busy holiday season, so busy that this story should have been written and posted yesterday, so it would appear in my 2025 blog book when I publish it. It will be my 17th book, but the official 2025 Christmas post with all the pictures won't be included. Instead, this will be the first post of 2026. Does this bother me? Yes. Does it challenge my OCD on every possible level? Yes. Can I do anything about it? Nope. So here goes!

This year, our family Christmas celebration would take place on Dec. 27th, but a few of us gathered for a mini celebration on the 25th at Eli and Amanda's house. It was quiet and delightful. Well, okay, not totally quiet. When Amanda and Eli and Seth and Kylee played this video game called "Overcooked," the screaming was palpable. I don't understand video games at all, but shouts of "PASTA! PASTA" and "I'M CLEANING PLATES!" and "GO, GO, MOVE!" and "THIS PLATE NEEDS FRIES!" could be heard down the block, I'm pretty sure. Just ask Jane. She was not a fan. But the rest of the day was calm. Amanda made fresh biscuits and I made sausage gravy. For dinner we ate cream cheese chicken and pasta, and it was lovely to be together. 

Snow arrived the morning of December 27th, the first real snow of the season on the very day our family celebrated Christmas. When I woke up with four of my five children, along with many of their significant others, sleeping under my roof, I was filled with gratitude. When I looked out the window and saw beautiful snowflakes falling from the sky, I was overjoyed! "God sent me snow on Christmas!" I whispered (as most everyone else was still asleep). It was a moment of quiet before the beautiful chaos of 13 people on Christmas morning. Here are Shulamith and her kids trying to fall asleep the night before:

We had opened our traditional Christmas Eve gifts, new pajamas, and played "Left, Center, Right," a new tradition in its second year. Eli won all the cash!

We decided that we would begin opening gifts at 10:00 a.m. This gave me about an hour when I woke up to help Santa with final preparations. By 10:00, everyone was awake, wearing their new Christmas jammies and heading downstairs, but not before a quick picture:

Front: Kennedy, Theodore, and Jane
Middle: Mathew, Swen, me

Back: Isaiah, Shulamith, Gerald, Seth, Amanda, Eli

The day was filled of presents, laughter, and plenty of surprises! My favorite gift was a grande-sized yoga mat, which will make it so much easier to do my workouts on my basement floor. My second favorite was ironically predictable, as Shulamith and I gave each other the same exact thing: an electric towel warmer. After a few days, let me just say that this is a luxury everyone needs!

Pretty sure Seth's favorite gift was a VR headset, so he can play, among other things, something called "Beat Saber." He was so happy! (I actually tried this out and definitely failed at every level, but it was....uh....an......"experience.")

Here are a few more random pics of Christmas, 2025:

Theodore, Swen, Mathew, with Eli in the background

Jane and Kennedy

Amanda, with her new acrylic calendar

Eli, the best Elf ever, keeping me on track with gift distribution

Left to right: Kylee, Seth, Gerald, Isaiah, Jane, Kennedy, Swen, and (in front) Theodore

And today is the first day of 2026. I awoke to beautiful rain, my favorite weather. Shulamith and I donned our best rain gear and headed out for a two-mile walk before she left town for the weekend. In the year to come, I look forward to lots of traveling, reading, writing, and exercising, all my best hobbies! But for the first couple days of the year, I predict more sleeping, lounging, and hurkle-durkling. Christmas, for moms, is joyous, but it's also no-joke exhausting. I'm wiped.

Oh and also lots of TV binging! Have you guys seen "Pluribus" or "The Beast in Me"? You should definitely watch both, though the latter is super crazy scary, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Happy New Year, everyone. May 2026 bring you so much love!

Mistakes, grace, and blessings abounding!

First mistake. Not taking any pictures on Thanksgiving. Amanda says that means we were having fun, and she's right. We were so fully engaged in living the moments that we failed to stop and document. However, without pictures, my blog posts don't get nearly as many page views. Should this matter? Nope. Does it? Kinda. So here's a picture of my delicious leftovers, which I ate last Friday night, after a full day of Black Friday shopping. 

Second mistake. Two turkeys that struggled to cook. We had movie tickets for Wicked: For Good at 5:30, so the plan was to eat at 2:30, to give us plenty of time. But at 2:30, neither turkey was done, not the one Matt had on his smoker nor the one I had in my oven. Thirteen hungry people and no turkey! By 3:30, they still weren't completely done, so we opted to have a vegetarian meal, with turkey for dessert. And that's exactly what we did. We feasted on mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, Brussels sprouts, glazed carrots, deviled eggs, and rolls. About the time we were finished eating all this, Matt brought over a delicious smoked turkey, fully cooked!

At 5:00, we caravanned to Cinemark Riverton, where we took up the entire back row of the theater (and that's not counting Gerald, who stayed home, or Matt and Swen, who opted to see a different movie). Wicked was okay, though I liked the first one better, but it was sure fun to have so many of us there together. We completed the day by returning home for pie, so so much pie: pumpkin, pecan, apple, and Oreo!

As we welcome the Christmas season, I feel moved to acknowledge the abounding blessings in life, despite the tragic turns our country has taken under the current administration. It is hard not to feel discouraged and helpless, and I have often felt both. Still, I honor the goodness I see in so many, trying to make sense of these unspeakable circumstances, as they continue to fight for justice. Thank you to them.

In my own life, I am grateful for the love of family and friends; for the opportunity to travel to foreign lands; for my job, which provides the resources to get me to those foreign lands; for my strong, healthy body; and for technology, which allows me access to those I love who don't live here in the valley. Hooray for text messaging, email, and social media!

Finally, I'm grateful for the relentless, radical, unwavering love of God, whose grace promises hope, even in the most troubled times.

"Of course! Only the best Christmas movie! 1 of the 2 animated things you like!" -Seth

 

...this was Seth's reply last night, when I texted him this picture of my bedroom T.V. He knows me well. I don't like cartoons. Or animated movies. Or anything animated. I never did, even as a kid. The characters' creepy, gigantic eyes...eeek! It's all dumb. 

With two glorious exceptions: The Flintstones and A Charlie Brown Christmas.

I don't know why The Flintstones is different; it just is. I love the characters, despite their their alien eyes. Maybe it's because Fred is such a doofus and Wilma is such a smart, strong woman, uncommon in 60s T.V. Or maybe it's because she and Betty are such good moms, advocating for their babies at every turn, also uncommon in the 60s. You were lucky kids, Pebbles and BamBam. And of course, Dino was the coolest dinosaur/dog ever! Whatever it was, I watched Flintstones reruns religiously through middle school, often missing the bus because I was so engrossed in the town of Bedrock and those two families. Sorry, Mom and Dad, for all those mornings you had to drive me to school.

Then there's A Charlie Brown Christmas, all 30 minutes of it! What can I even say about the absolute best Christmas movie ever? My memories are many. I watched it every year growing up, sitting on the floor in front of the T.V., eyes filled tears, as Linus takes center stage in that circle of spotlight in the school auditorium, and drops his security blanket to tell the story of Jesus's birth, straight from the pathos-filled Book of Luke. Years later in college, I played Lucy, performing the show in German at the foreign language club's Christmas party: "Ein Hund hat mich geküsst!" And several years after that, I directed the play (in English, this time) at the high school where I taught in Oregon. Of course the best memories are sharing the movie with my own kids, especially Seth. He came seven years after his next older brother, so the two of us had lots of time together when the older four were off doing their own things and not quite so interested in A Charle Brown Christmas anymore. Seth and I watched it together every year, right up till 2018 when he left for his mission in Paraguay.

And now, it's 2025. It's been a rough November. I'm buried in essays, with anxiety triggers hitting from all sides, and nearing one full year of hassling with the corrupt company that manages our neighborhood's HOA. The best way to describe that last one: I feel like I'm starring in a horror movie that never ends. Alas, that is a different blog post for a different time, and I promise I'll write it, just not today. 

Suffice it to say that last night, after falling into bed exhausted, when I turned on Apple T.V.  and saw the ad for A Charlie Brown Christmas, well, a bit of light shone through my otherwise unpleasant disposition. I texted Seth right away because I knew he'd feel the same nostalgia. He did. Then I got a fresh Diet Coke and snuggled under my heated blanket to watch. 

And yes, I definitely felt the welling of tears behind my eyes, then dripping down my cheeks, when Linus recited those iconic words: "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord" (Luke 2:11). 

"And that's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown." 

I read a scary book in honor of Halloween! Are you proud of me?

 To be clear.... I DON'T LIKE TO BE SCARED.

• I don't watch scary T.V. shows,
• I don't go to scary movies,
• and I certainly don't read scary books!

It's not worth paying the price for a movie ticket, only to miss 80% of the movie because my hands are covering my eyes. And there are plenty of wonderful books to read, so I don't need ones that will trigger my anxiety to the point that I'm scared to turn the page (or more accurately, touch the screen on my Kindle). 

But! A few months ago, my friend and fellow book devourer, Lena, suggested a Stephen King novel.

"No way," I immediately responded. 'The 'King' of all things gruesome? The 'King' of horror?! Hard pass!"

"This one's not horror," Lena explained. Turns out it's lightweight, time-travel fantasy about a guy who finds a hidden portal that allows him to travel into the past and decides to use it to go back to 1963 and (hopefully) prevent the JFK assassination.  

"Okay," I thought. "Why not?" Well, the most compelling "Why not?" is its length, over 800 pages or 30 hours for the audio version. I ordered it on audio anyway. Midway through the semester, there is no way I have time to read an 800-page book. Listening during my commute down to UVU was the only option.

Within the first 15 minutes, I was hooked. Fully captivated by the characters and mesmerized by the voice. And I don't mean the vocal quality of the reader (though that was excellent) but rather the writing voice of author, Stephen King. Dang, the guy is good. So raw and real. In the day of that insidious AI shit, no one is more moved by honest, genuine voice than me. And just like that, I'm a Stephen King fan.

I listened to 11/22/63 (yes, the name of the time-travel novel is the date of the assassination), all 30 hours of it, in about a week. It was so, so good, You should definitely download it.

But then what? I wanted, no needed, to read another King novel, but most are of the horror genre. What to do? One of my students is researching exposure therapy for her semester writing topic, so I've read a couple of her papers on the subject. Am I ever gonna use exposure therapy to overcome my world-renowned phobia of slithery creatures with no arms or legs? Nope. But horror novels? Maybe? I asked Shulamith to find me another Stephen King novel even if it's horror. She downloaded the book Holly, and I jumped right in. 

Holly did not disappoint. It wasn't exactly traditional horror, with monsters jumping out and scaring people, but it was certainly dark and gruesome. Hard to read in places, but I persevered because I was once again drawn in by the characters and their stories, revealed through the lovely literary voice of a brilliant writer. Shulamith is reading it now, and she mentioned that it's trending to read a scary book in October for Halloween. Well, okay, then. I'm nothing if not trending.

I read a scary book in honor of Halloween. And now I'm reading another one, Mr. Mercedes, also by King. Are you proud of me?

The Heirarchy of Diet Cola

In one of my recent trips out of Utah, I was in four restaurants in two days. Same conversation with each new server:

Server: Can I get you started with something to drink?

Me: Diet Coke, please!

Server: Diet Pepsi, okay?

Me (in my head): No, you lunatic! How could you even suggest such a thing?

Me (aloud): Oh, no thank you, I'll just stick with water.

Oh my goodness! Why would any self-respecting restaurant serve Pepsi products, when everyone knows Diet Pepsi is grossly inferior to Diet Coke in every possible way? Do people outside of Utah not understand soda?

In case anyone is confused, here is the hierarchy of diet cola:

First Place, above all the rest: A Stanley filled with ice-cold Diet Coke from a fountain, over crushed or pebble ice.

• Holiday or Maverik are usually solid; 7-11 is sus, sometimes okay, other times not, but never great.
• Fast food restaurants are typically good; McDonald's Diet Coke gets the most fanfare though I've never thought it was much better than say Wendy's or Chick-fil-A.
• The places that do soda as their main gig (Swig, Quench It, Splash, Sodalicious) are almost always good, but better to go to the ones who actually pour it into your Stanley, so you don't have to transfer it (Yay, Quench It!). You pay a little more, but we're talking Diet Coke here, so.

WARNING! At Holiday, the pebble ice is on the right side of the fountain, and the larger cubed ice (blah) is on the left side. At Maverik, it's the opposite. Make sure to take note, so you go to the correct side to get your pebble ice.

WARNING! A few otherwise decent restaurants don't even serve Diet Coke, so you need to stop by a gas station (see above) to fill your Stanley before you go: Aubergine, Hot Texas Chicken, Panera, Buffalo Wild Wings, IHOP,  Jersey Mike's, Taco Bell, just to name a few.

• Finally, here is a splendid bit of news to offset the bullet warning just above: This past July, Costco, an otherwise brilliant company, added to its brilliance by switching from Pepsi to Coke products. I may have cried.

Second Place (far, far, below first place): A 44-oz. styrofoam cup filled with Diet Coke from a fountain, over crushed or pebble ice. (See above for specific location guidelines.)

Third Place: A 32-oz. plastic cup filled with Diet Coke from a fountain, over crushed or pebble ice. Sadly, the soda will be diluted long before you finish; hence, no point getting the 44-oz cup. (See above for specific location guidelines.)

Fourth Place: An ice-cold can of Diet Coke. Be sure to set your refrigerator to the coldest setting that doesn't freeze everything. 

Fifth Place: (Seriously, guys, this is only if you're desperate): A 20-oz. bottle of ice-cold Diet Coke.

You're better off just being thirsty: Diet Coke from a 2-liter bottle poured over ice. Ick!

Lastly: Get a grip! Under no circumstances is Diet Pepsi comparable to Diet Coke.