The Madness of March

March had some definite high points. I spent most of my spring break in Oregon with my mom. After returning, we celebrated Eli's birthday at the new Macaroni Grill in South Jordan. Mac Grill is a legend in the Erichsen-Webster family. Four of our five kids (Shulamith, Isaiah, Eli, and Seth) worked there at some point in their high school, college, or post-college years, as did Shulamith's husband, Matt, and Eli's wife, Amanda. It's just a thing we do. I, myself, never worked at Mac Grill; however, I've spent many holidays there: Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, even Thanksgiving and Christmas (!) because yes, I'd rather hang at Mac Grill, eating chicken parm and fried mac and cheese bites and watching my babies work, than spend a holiday without them. We can always celebrate a different day.

It's been several years since the last Erichsen-Webster server worked at Mac Grill, and even though the Murray location subsequently closed, being at the new location, with similar decor, similar menu, and even a few of the same employees, created a bit of nostalgia for all of us. Happy, happy birthday, Eli! You make life better for everyone, and I am a proud mama!

Another March high point was celebrating our friend Bekah's baby girl, to arrive in another few weeks. What a fun shower! Thank you for inviting us, Bekah. We can't wait to meet her!

Full transparency, though, March has been challenging in ways I hadn't anticipated. "The madness of March," I've taken to calling it. Anyone who knows me at all, knows I've struggled for decades with intense anxiety, objectified to fear of terminal diseases. The disheartening part is that prior to this month, it had been a couple years since this demon flared, and it returned with a vengeance, as if to ruthlessly declare, "Nope, guess again, you're not totally free from this shit." And I really thought I might be. The last couple months have been filled with medical talk: my mom in the hospital/rehab for five weeks, a close friend diagnosed with a serious condition requiring surgery, another friend in Washington with a brain tumor, and more. Too much medical stuff for this anxiety brain. Too many triggers all at once. A pastor friend recently commented in a sermon (paraphrased), "What is happening to you in the middle of the night that is more powerful than God's love?" Nothing, Hansen, absolutely nothing. Now I just need to convince my serotonin-deprived brain of this truth at 3:00 in the morning in the dark.

To end on a brighter note, I listened to several books in March; I hate driving, and audio books are what keep me sane in the chaos of commuting up to the U. and down to UVU multiple times each week. And since I don't have time during the semester to actually "read" books when I'm drowning in essays, the audio option is a huge blessing. Two of the books I listened to touch upon the value of writing. Both introduce women, strong women might I add, who lived in a time when their strength was not particularly valued. Both women write. Regularly. Sybil Van Antwerp, the main character in The Correspondent writes letters throughout her 73-year life, letters of all contexts that ultimately reveal the truth of her life story. Martha Ballard, the voice of the historical novel The Frozen River writes a daily journal entry of her experiences as a mother to nine and respected midwife in the late 1700s. Her journal entires begin early in her marriage after her husband teachers her how to read and write, until the end of the novel in 1790, when she is 54.

Both women mention that through their writing, their stories will document their existence long after they are gone, long after their children are gone. Their writing will remain. Their writing will be proof that they existed and that they mattered. My new blog book arrived earlier this month, with my posts from 2025. It is my 17th book, and I am nearing 1,000 posts between itslegs.blogspot.com and the far less prolific thereisroomforyou.blogspot.com. I may hit 1,000 this year, and if not, for sure in early 2027. I may throw a party! Would you all come? I am like Sybil and Martha. My blog shares my story. While its topics are far and wide and sometimes crazy, all my passions from parenting to politics, from religion to rhetoric, from the simplest joys to the scariest fears, it's grown to be the record of our family, the Erichsen-Webster legacy.

So keep on writing, everyone! Tell your truth. Fight back against the insidious infestation of AI, and write all on your own. You all have stories to tell. Meanwhile, send me all the prayers, positive thoughts, good juju, whatever you got that I can subdue this freakin' anxiety, get the semester wrapped up in the next four weeks, and catch a plane to Germany in 41 days! We've got this. Peace, everyone! 

Draw a 3D chair??? ...and "My sister is just weird."

Draw an analog clock to show the time 1:50. Subtract 23 from 100, then subtract 8. Draw a picture of a 3D chair. My mom is recently home from a month-long hospital/rehab stay. Before she could be released from the rehab facility, she needed to demonstrate that she was strong enough to take care of herself and her basic needs, AND she had to pass a cognitive test, which included the above tasks. Yes, I could draw a clock correctly and do basic subtraction. But if all five of my children's lives depended on it, I could not draw a chair, 3D or otherwise. And I don't think I have any cognitive impairment. What I have, or more precisely, what I am, is a polarized auditory learner. I prefer, no I need, to receive information by hearing it. Visually, though? Nada. Nichts. Nothing. I don't know what anything looks like, I can't read diagrams that supposedly represent reality, physical maps are nothing but a bunch of Top Ramen thrown on a page, and I certainly can't draw a 3D chair! This is my best effort. Ha!

This week is spring break at both my schools. My schools' calendars rarely align, but this year they did, so I'm here in Portland this week, soaking up the rain and visiting my mom. She is still pretty weak and tires easily, so we're just chillin' here at her house. Wednesday evening, I got to see two of my cute nieces, Carley and Katie, along with Carley's son, Finn. (We missed you, Leslie!). They brought takeout, and we all enjoyed food, catching up on each others' lives, and lots of laughter.

Last night, my mom, Tom and Yvonne, and I returned to the most nostalgic restaurant of my childhood, Saylor's Old Country Kitchen. You can read about it on that link, but last night's visit was no different from the dozens of others, dating back to our early childhoods. The menu, still shaped like a big steak, included a picture of their menu from 1972. Barely anything was different, other than the prices (my 8 oz. filet would have cost $4.95!). Still, it was served piping hot, with a single onion ring on top surrounding a square of melting butter. Just like it always was. 

Being there brought to mind all the memories for my mom, Tom, and me. We weren't perfect on dates, but the experiences were clear. As we drove home, Tom said, "'There's Russellville School....and a bunch of other random meaningless stuff." Bahahahaha! I couldn't stop laughing. When Yvonne asked what he was talking about, he said, "My sister is just weird."

When we were kids, every time we passed by this particular school (which was LOTS because of its location), I would say, "There's Russellville School. Every time I went by that school, I wanted to know the name of it, and now that I know the name of it, every time I go by that school, I say 'There's Russellville School.'"

Do you think that's weird? 

This led to a discussion of my other childhood quirks: Order of the Pillows, flying lessons, feeding the beach, ordicles, and cold-heat.  

Maybe a little weird? But you know what's weirder? Asking someone to draw a 3D chair to prove they don't have dementia.

Kennedy Says - Part X

127.  In our ward there are many, many children. So on Fast Sunday, oftentimes children go up, one after another, to share their testimonies. After listening to several of these kids, Kennedy could no longer contain her confusion.

Kennedy (whispering to her mom): There must be something wrong with these kids.

128. Sunday was Easter, and Kennedy was exhausted. She hadn't slept enough the night before, and she was tired from all the Easter activities. She just wanted to go home, which would have been fine, except i wanted to get a picture of everyone first.

Kennedy: I don't want to be in a picture. I just wanna go home!

Shulamith: It will just take a second, and then you can go.

Kennedy: It will take forever, and then Her will say, "No, we need to take it one more time. My hair doesn't look good, and I need to fix my makeup and change my shirt."

(Note: she's not wrong.)

8,500 steps by 9:00 a.m.???

Last Saturday I had 8,500 steps before 9:00 a.m. I aim for 10,000 daily and almost always get them, but 8,500 before 9:00 a.m. is not typical. How did this happen? It's a bit of a saga.

To begin, I've written in the past about my friend Trudy and our history of walking together. It took place over the seven years I lived in Billings, Montana from 2004-2011. You can click that link above if you want to know more, but the interesting thing about Trudy and me is that all we ever did together was walk. I'm trying to remember if we ever did anything else. Like did we ever go to lunch together or to a movie or shopping. We must have, right? But I really can't remember.

When I moved to Utah 15 years ago, we stopped walking. Well, we didn't actually stop walking; we stopped walking together. Obviously. Through the years, I think Trudy had a few different walking partners. My friend Emily walked with me a couple days a week, but other than that, I was pretty much on my own (thank goodness for audiobooks!) until 2020, when Shulamith and I built houses in the same neighborhood. Now she is my walking partner, and I am so grateful!

It's been rough six months for Trudy. Mortality sucks sometimes, and this has been a particularly sucky time for her. She lost her beloved husband/best friend/soulmate in September, and on the heels of that, broke two of her toes. Just as they were nearly healed, she had another medical condition arise that required surgery! When that happened, she wanted to call me, but the only way she could think to do that was to call and talk to me while she walked around her living room. (This represents the extent to which she connects me and our relationship to walking, haha!) So that's exactly what she did.

As we hung up from that conversation, it occurred to me that we could have been doing this all along, all 15 years since I left Montana. The technology is there! We could still go for walks and talk to each other; we'd just need to use our phones. When I suggested that option to Trudy, she was all in. So Saturday morning at 8:00, I bundled up in my warms, put my AirPods in my ears, set my watch to record my walk, and called Trudy. And just like that it was nearly 9:00 and I had 8,500 steps! That's how it always was with our walks. The time speeds by, without ever much pause in the conversation.

We plan to do this every Saturday morning, moving forward. My only regret is that it took me 15 years to come up with the idea.

Swen-isms: Part X

Imagine that. The 10th year of Swen's words of humor, intelligence, and incredible wisdom. His thoughts have matured through the years, but he still entertains all of us with his genuine, unique voice.

348. I drive Swen to school two days a week, when our schedules align. It's only a 7-minute drive but adds exponential joy to my day, as he always has something substantive to talk about. Yesterday, it was this:

Me: Your mom showed me the video of you riding your bike down that steep hill. Impressive!

Swen: No, not impressive at all.

Me: I wouldn't do it. No way.

Swen: Yes you would. It wasn't hard.

Me: I wouldn't. 

Swen: What would it take for you to ride down that hill?

Me: Eeeeek, I don't know. A lot.

Swen: You'd do it if Harris could be President. 

Me: You win. Yep, I'd do it for that.

349. I substituted at Swen's school Monday. I was scheduled for a Spanish class, but when I arrived, the secretary informed me that I'd only have two periods of Spanish and I would need to sub in an art class the three other periods. Swen doesn't take Spanish, but I knew he had an art class, so I quickly checked the roll sheets, and sure enough, one of my art periods was his class. I texted Shulamith to tell her and to see if I should warn Swen. She thought I should. Here is my text thread with Swen:

Me: Hey, I'm subbing in your art class today. Do you want me to say hi or pretend I don't know you.

Swen: You don't know me!

Me: Done!

Theodore's Themes - Part VIII

167. Theodore has become obsessed with plants. He has dozens of them in his room on a stand, under grow lights, everywhere!

Theodore: I'm growing basil!

Shulamith: Basil! I love basil! Can I use some when I make spaghetti?

Theodore: Yeah, but you'll have to wait for it to be an adult.

168. Theodore loves plants more than anything and he happened to have a little money, so he of course wanted to go to the plant store. It was closed, so he settled for Smith's, where they have a few plants in their florist section. He picked out a little plant (I don't remember what kind) and noticed its soil was very dry. After we paid and were walking out, he explained...

Theodore: I'm going to water this little plant right away and put it under my lights. I will give this plant a much better home than it had at Smith's where they don't even water it.

169. Theodore joined a 4H gardening group, and yesterday was his first meeting. He was giddy with excitement.

Shulamith: There will be lots of big kids there, because this is for kids ages 8 all the way through high school. Is that okay?

Theodore: I will be the best one there!

170. Last Friday night, Shulamith was headed to Swen's friend's house to take Swen needed items so he could spend the night there, and Matt was headed to pick up Kennedy from a "late-night" with one of her friends.

Shulamith (to Theodore): Do you want to go with Dad to pick up Kennedy, or with Mom to take stuff to Swen?

Theodore: I want be with Theodore here in my house.

Shulamith: Well, I know you'd rather stay home, but it's 10:00 p.m. and dark outside, so maybe you want to come with one of us?

Theodore: Oh yeah. I'm scared. I'll go with you.

171. Theodore's love for plants hasn't subsided, but his energy for taking care of the dozens of plants he now owns might have.

Shulamith: Why aren't you taking care of all these plants, Theodore?

Theodore: I just got lazy.

172. The week before school starts is especially challenging for teacher moms like Shulamith. Teachers are under contract for a week before the kids come, and their own kids are still at home. Fortunately, Shulamith teaches halftime, so she only had to be at school in the morning, but still it was hard for her kids, especially Theodore, who is only 9.

Shulamith (to Theodore): I'll be gone again tomorrow morning, so Her will come hang out with you. I'm sorry I've had to leave you so much this week.

Theodore: That's okay. Dad leaves us for much, much longer every day.

[Oh Theodore! You are gonna change the world, Little Dude.]

I left my heart in New York City!

"This is way better than Disneyland," remarked Kennedy on our second day in New York after seeing our first two shows. 

Yes, Kennedy, yes it is. 

Several years ago, Shulamith and I decided it would be fun to take each of her kids on a trip of their choice sometime around their 12th birthday. Two years ago, Swen chose Texas! Kennedy has always wanted to go with us on our annual NYC trip, so this was her year!

Before we left, we explained to her what we do in New York: (1) stay in a nice hotel, (2) eat bagels, (3) go to the theatre, (4) rinse and repeat. (We also love to walk each morning in Central Park, but not when it's January and 20 degrees, so yeah---basically hotel, bagels, theatre.) However, Kennedy also wanted to see some of the sights; most notably, she wanted to go up high to the top of a skyscraper and also visit the 9/11 Memorial, which she had learned about in school. In order to make all this happen and still fit in six shows, we stayed in New York five days instead of our usual four. 

When he's free, Isaiah likes to join us. He loves New York and Broadway musicals as much as we do, and this year it worked out. He had just five non-traveling days in January, and three of them were this past weekend. He took a red-eye flight, arriving early Saturday morning, and crashed in our room for four hours while Kennedy also slept. Shulamith and I worked out in the hotel gym, then sat across the street in Starbucks, drank hot chocolate, and basked in the joyous reality: WE ARE ONCE AGAIN IN NEW YORK CITY!

Here are some highlights of those five days:

Cold - It was sooooo cold. When we got off the plane and headed outside to find our Uber shuttle, I wondered if all my protective gear would be enough. I texted Isaiah right away: "Bring all the stuff you wore last month in Finland." I had packed long, thermal underwear; my heated vest; hand warmers; my big Montana coat; a wool hat; and mittens. (More on those mittens later, so keep reading!) It turned out to be enough to keep me reasonably warm despite the freezing temperature and wind.

Snow - Yes! Since the climate crisis seems to have ended Utah's former snowy winters, we were all delighted to have snow in New York! It only lasted one day, but we walked through Times Square happy, as the beautiful snow fell upon us.

High Places - On Monday (our extra day), we took Kennedy to two high places: the top of the World Trade Center and across the Brooklyn Bridge. It was such a fun day!

Food - When you travel with Isaiah, you eat good food, He's an expert at finding such good restaurants. One night we ate Katsu, a popular Japanese dish, typically a pork or chicken cutlet, breaded with panko breadcrumbs and deep fried. Mmmm! Another night he found us a more traditional Chinese restaurant, also delicious. He says the secret to finding excellent food in NYC is to leave Times Square. That is where we typically fail; we look for places close to our hotel. With bagels, however, close works just fine. Pick-a-bagel is located right in Times Square and has the most amazing bagels. My favorite is cinnamon raisin with walnut raisin cream cheese. Shulamith eats wheat bagels with peanut butter (boring, haha!), and we all ate savory ones with egg and bacon to get that all-important protein.

Our first night, before we had Isaiah to guide us. I think we did great!

Japanese Katsu Pork

Mittens Trouble and Dropping Things - Kennedy has the most lovely personality, quiet and reserved, soft-spoken and refined. Not surprising, she is often embarrassed by her mother and me, who are, well, less quiet and less soft-spoken. In addition, for some reason I had difficulty holding onto things, in particular my mittens. Keep in mind that I had two mittens, each with a hand warmer inside; a cross-body bag with all my money and cards, a hat, and my phone. It was a lot to hold onto. Every time I dropped something, Kennedy gave me the same look, a mix of disbelief, disdain, embarrassment, and pity. With this look on her face, she audibly exhaled, shook her head, and said simply, "Her."

But my poor mittens! Our second day there, we were in a theatre watching Chess. I put my two mittens (including hand warmers) in my hat and placed it under my seat. When the show ended, I reached down to grab my hat, but it was nowhere. I waited until everyone exited our row and returned to check again. Not there. I went right to lost-and-found. Not there either. Ugh! I went immediately to the overpriced "I [Heart] New York" store and bought a new hat and gloves; it was way too cold to wait. The next day, I returned to the Chess theatre to check again. The security guards did not want to let me in, but I would not be dissuaded. And sure enough, in their lost-and-found box was all my stuff: hat, mittens, hand warmers. My best guess is someone grabbed the hat by accident and didn't notice it wasn't theirs until they were out of the theatre. Whoever you are (if you happen to catch this post), thank you for your honesty and for returning my stuff!

But the saga continues. The following night, as we found our seats for Mamma Mia and I started to put my mittens and hand warmers into my hat, I noticed that one mitten was missing. Noooo! It can't be. But the show began, and I became fully immersed in the fabulous music of Abba. Afterward, still one lost mitten. "I give up," I exclaimed. "At least I have new gloves at the hotel." Kennedy was in utter disbelief. Again, the head shake, baffled face, and audible exhale, "Her." 

But never doubt the possibility of small miracles! It was raining that night, so we quickly took our standard marquee photo and headed down the block from the theater. And guess what? Right in the path in front of me lay my rain-soaked mitten! Here's proof:

The Shows!!! - Indeed, I saved the best for last, my whole purpose for going to New York. We saw six shows, and not one disappointed. Ranking them feels especially challenging this time around, but I will do my best.

6th place: MJ The Musical is the one show we hadn't previously purchased. We knew we wanted to find a show for Saturday night, so we went to the Tix Broadway booth and stood in line to see what we could get. We were hoping for Death Becomes Her, but we needed four tickets and Kennedy needed to sit next to her mom, so we needed at least two of those seats to be together. No luck on Death. There wasn't much available, so we chose MJ, and it was really, really good. In fact, it was high on Kennedy's ranking (2nd or 3rd?) because she loved the dancing so much. 

5th place: The Lion King is not one I would have chosen, if we hadn't had Kennedy with us. I've seen it in Vegas, and the costumes are incredible, but I'm not much of a Disney fan (understatement of the century). Still, this production was wonderful. Our seats were right by an entryway, so the large animals walked right past us! Very cool.

4th place: Mamma Mia is always a fun show, and this production was classic Broadway with big sets, big costumes, and of course, big Abba music. The actress who played the main character, Donna, was excellent; her voice was made for that role.

3rd place: Okay, here is where it gets hard. We saw Maybe Happy Ending last year, and it was my #1 favorite. We decided to see it again this year, only because Isaiah hadn't seen it. He was in NYC for work just after the Tony Awards where it won "Best Musical," so tickets were $500, too much even for such a good show. Also, we knew Kennedy would like it, and she did! It was every bit as good as last year, but I'm placing it 3rd, only because I'd already seen it.

2nd place: Oh, this is so hard. The last two are so different and both brilliant. Ahhhh, I keep changing my mind. I'm gonna go with Two Strangers (Carry a Cake Across New York). If you are going to NYC any time soon, do not miss this one. Only two characters carry not just the cake, but the entire show! It is the sweetest story of a couple of unlikely friends who become so much more. Simple staging. Simple music. Hilarious script. Two actors with incredible chemistry. I haven't stopped thinking about it.

For our after-show dessert:
"One Girl (Carries a Donut across New York!)"

1st place: Chess for the win!! Oh my goodness, it was one of those productions where you walk out and ask, "What just happened to me?" Three of the most popular Broadway stars played the three leads, a love triangle between two chess champions, one from the U.S. and one from the U.S.S.R., and the woman who manages one and falls in love with the other. Before going, I had heard that while the music is over-the-top fabulous, the plot is less than mediocre. I couldn't disagree more! Set in the Cold War era, with President Carter trying to negotiate the SALT II treaty with the Soviets, and the character of the U.S. chess champion patterned loosely after Bobbie Fischer, I found the plot captivating start to finish. But yes, it was the music that left me breathless. These three people have the most beautiful voices I've ever heard. Go see Chess. 

Four years ago, I told all of you to go see Hadestown. Several of you went to New York but did not follow my advice. This is most unfortunate. Hadestown is still my favorite show currently on Broadway, so I'm telling you again. Go see Hadestown. And Chess. And Maybe Happy Ending. And Strangers. And Hamilton.

I left my heart in New York City. But I will go back to retrieve it in 2027. Until then, I will sing the songs and hold tight the memories.