"25" is just a number

Today is December 25th. But it is not Christmas Day at our house.

For us, “25” is just a number, while Christmas means family and the joy that comes from everyone celebrating together. We are blessed to have several children, some of whom are grown, so coordinating schedules on holidays can be challenging. We don't want anyone to have to leave in the middle or miss any part of our Christmas Eve or Christmas Day celebrations, so this year we decided it would be best to simply move the day.

We will celebrate Christmas Eve tonight! We will eat yummy Chinese food (yep, Asian Potato is open today). We will read the Christmas story from the Bible. We will open one gift each. We will bake cookies and leave them out for Santa. Then tomorrow, it will be Christmas!

Admittedly, not everyone loves this whole program. Seth, in particular, has been complaining about it for days, and today especially, his mood is not the finest. At this moment, he is sitting here in the family room with Isaiah, Eli, and me. About two seconds ago, he said, "I wonder how much fun every other family is having right now?" We laughed. But it didn't stop there. He pointed to our Mouse countdown calendar and said, "Notice on that calendar, there is NO NUMBER 26. That's because Christmas is supposed to be on the 25th."

Ahh, Seth. It's been a rough week already. Two days ago we lost our sweet dog, Kitty, Seth's very best friend. She passed away so suddenly and so unexpectedly, and we are all sad, but especially Seth. And now in his mind, it's Christmas, but he has to wait until tonight and tomorrow to celebrate. But honestly, Seth, nothing whatsoever is lost. If anything, it's sorta cool when everyone else's fun is over, and ours is just beginning.

So what will I do today? How will I spend my December 25th? I will send Gerald and the boys to a dollar movie, one I've already seen. I will lie back in my recliner, sip a Diet Coke, listen to Christmas music, and wander around online. When I tire of that, I'll Netflix binge just a bit (The 100, anyone?). I expect the day to be most enjoyable.

So Happy December 25th, everyone! My “Merry Christmas” will come tomorrow!

All is calm, all is bright. Even though the code was broken.

(Photo cred: Mathew Monson)

After a super fun gingerbread house party hosted by Shulamith on Christmas Eve afternoon, I packed up an overnight bag and drove to Eli and Amanda's. Ever since Shulamith and Mathew got married almost 14 years ago, we have alternated December 25th with Matt's family. On the "off" years, we just move our whole celebration to a different day, and while my sons don't love this plan, it works just fine and they live with it. This was an "off" year, so we scheduled our Christmas Eve for Dec. 26th and Christmas Day for the 27th. Before Eli was married, on "off" years, I would usually just hang out alone on the 25th, reminding myself often that "This is not Christmas, and 25 is just a number." (All true, by the way.) Gerald and the boys would busy themselves with the things they like to do: online work, Dominion, video games, sometimes a movie. It was fine.

However, once Eli and Amanda got married seven years ago, they've invited me to spend the 24th and 25th with them on the "off" years, a blessing I never take for granted. This year was especially magical because their daughter, Jane, recently turned two, and this was the first year she had any idea about Christmas. It was joyous! And so calm with just the four of us. 

All is calm.

Christmas Eve night, we ate dinner and prepped for the next morning. Amanda and Jane left cookies out for Santa, and Eli read us all the story of Jesus' birth from the Gospel of Luke. That was my favorite!

Amanda and I wrapped a few last presents, and we all went to bed. I can't say we went to sleep exactly; Eli and I are still like little kids and find sleep elusive on Christmas Eve, but I think we both slept a little.

I woke up before everyone else and enjoyed the quiet house as I sat in the recliner by the light of the tree and browsed all my friends' Christmas posts on social media, smiling at each one. Eli woke up next, and we wrapped some last-minute gifts for Amanda. Then I headed out to Maverik with three Stanleys in hand to bring back fresh fountain Diet Cokes for the three of us.

At around 10:30, they decided to gently wake Jane. Amanda was so excited for Jane to see her "Santa" gift, a beautiful doll house that Amanda built for her. 

It seems she likes it!

We ate the most delicious cinnamon rolls that Amanda made from scratch, and later some biscuits and gravy. In between, we enjoyed watching one another open presents, one at a time, which is how we do it in our family. I've heard other families open their gifts all at once at the same time, but I want to watch every person open every gift!

I went home for a couple hours in the afternoon and listened to Seth talk through some LSAT prep questions. Then, Gerald, Seth, and I all went back to Eli and Amanda's house for Christmas dinner: pork nachos. It was a perfectly lovely (and calm) Christmas celebration Round 1!

All is Bright.

I think we were all grateful for a "rest day" on the 26th, to prepare for our larger celebration. A friend's Xmas card reads, "All is not calm, but all is definitely bright." This is a spot on description of our Christmas celebration Round 2 yesterday, with the entire family other than our oldest son Luke and his daughter, who live in Maryland. With 12 people, four of whom are age 11 and under, there was nothing calm about it. But it was surely bright: bright with noise, bright with excitement, bright with hope, and bright with love!

Tuesday night we opened our traditional Christmas Eve pajamas, this year navy shirts with a candy cane peace sign and the words "Peace and Joy." 

Then we began the process of getting settled for the night, who would sleep where, etc. Matt is the only one who didn't stay over. I don't think he quite understands the joy of everyone sleeping under the same roof on Christmas Eve, then waking up together on Christmas morning, but for a Christmas mom like me, it's the best thing ever.

The next morning we gathered in the basement to open gifts in our regular pattern of youngest to oldest. Except this year something startling occurred. Each year I create a new code to identify Christmas gifts. I don't use people's actual names on the tags, but instead assign everyone a code name. This is because my children are snoopy. Especially Eli. He is the snoopiest. And I don't want them shaking their presents and trying to figure out what they are. For over three decades, this system has successfully prevented that. No one has ever broken the code. Until this year... 

Take a wild guess who did it? If you are thinking "Swen Webster-Monson," you would be correct. How could this happen, you ask? Well, let me just tell you. A few days ago, this conversation between Swen and me transpired:

Swen: Hey Her, can I borrow your phone. I wanna watch a YouTube video.

Me: Sure! (handing him my phone) 

Swen: Thanks.

After a few minutes, I learn that Swen has found the code and sent a screenshot to everyone in the family. The kid is positively unstoppable! :-)

Nevertheless, Christmas Round 2 was awesome and fabulously bright. Gift opening took until mid-afternoon, and the rest of the day we ate good food and just hung out together. Here are some highlights:

Oh What Fun!

Merry Christmas, everyone! May I wish you that retroactively and also extend all my hope for a glorious new year to come. As I reflect back on Christmas 2019, for us just three days ago because we celebrated on the 26th, I feel only joy. Not everything went as planned; it never does. Still, oh what fun!

Christmas Eve (for us, Dec. 25th), Gerald and I ate a late lunch at Macaroni Grill. We sat in Amanda's section, where we could see Eli nearby on the expo line. It was a lovely dinner, parmesan crusted chicken salad for me and pizza for Gerald. When we finished and I was thanking the manager Krissa for comping our entire meal, she hugged me and whispered, "Merry Christmas! Thank you for sacrificing your family to us on Christmas and moving your celebration to the next day." I really don't mind; 25 is just a number, but it was still so kind of her to say.

That evening, we ate our traditional Chinese food. Because it was technically Christmas Day, lines at Joy Luck were out the door for both seating and takeout, so Shulamith and I drove to Asian Potato instead. It was busy there too, but we were able to get our takeout order in about 20 minutes. After dinner, it was time to open our one Christmas Eve gift. Sadly, Eli and Amanda were still stuck at Mac. Grill and wouldn't be home until near midnight, so we had to do it without them. That stuff about not everything going as planned is never my favorite, but it is certainly reality. Isaiah and Mathew abstain from the matching Christmas pajamas, so Isaiah opened a sherpa/fleece blanket, and Matt opened slippers while the rest of us opened our new matching PJs. We didn't get a picture of everyone together because we were waiting for Eli and Amanda. We said we'd do it the next day "Christmas Day" for sure, but then we didn't. So you'll have to look at these pictures and imagine Amanda in her dress, and Eli and Shulamith's sons in their navy pants with Christmas lights, all dressed up cute right along with us:

The next day, I awoke to snow flurries. It was as if Heaven was trying to send us a white Christmas, but the temperature was a bit too warm to allow the snow to stick. It was pretty, though! We began our gift opening rotation, one at a time, youngest to oldest, at around 10:00 a.m. Here are some of my favorite surprises:

Yeah, Shulamith and I gave each other nearly identical gifts, new church coats. This happens often for her and me. We have similar tastes and styles and know each other very well. (Side note: We both loved wearing these coats to our church meetings this morning, commenting, "We're at church. And we're warm. This is amazing!")

Here is Amanda opening her weighted blanket, something she has wanted for a long time but wasn't expecting. Yep, I think I surprised her good. Oh what fun!

Isaiah was recovering from serious jet lag, after a 2-week trip to Asia, where he visited Cambodia, Singapore, and Vietnam. He's extremely hard to shop for because he's a true minimalist and wants nothing, but I think he was actually excited by Shulamith's gift of socks from Donovan Mitchell's new store:

Sometime in the middle of all this delightful chaos, my phone rang. I had been waiting and hoping for a tiny miracle that would make it so Seth could video chat with us. He's serving this week in a remote area, where technology is challenging. As of last Monday, the WiFi was completely down, and no one seemed to know when it might be restored. I tried hard to have faith to believe that one way or another, we would hear from him, and LOOK!!!

It happened. Our own Christmas miracle. The connection was better than we've had in months. Seth was able to chat with everyone one at a time, and even open the presents I had shipped, right there where we could see. He was so crazy excited over simple candy, and he nearly jumped out of his chair when he opened the new watch he had asked for. With the recent change in policy relaxing communication restrictions between missionaries and their families, we get to talk to Seth way more often than we ever did our other two missionaries; still, it was as wonderful as ever to "be" with him on Christmas. He stayed connected for about 90 minutes and watched us each open a gift. My heart. My baby. Next Christmas, you'll be home.

The best surprise of the day came after all the gifts were opened. We open our stockings last BECAUSE THAT IS THE CORRECT WAY TO DO IT, AND IF YOU DON'T OPEN Y0URS LAST, YOU PROBABLY NEED TO REPENT AND CHANGE YOUR WAYS. Again, one by one, in order of age, we opened our stockings. When it was Eli's turn, I told him there was one more thing that I failed to get into his stocking, and I went into the bedroom and brought out a big box, all carefully wrapped. He seemed unsure at first whether to believe it. "Wait, I get to open another present? That's mine?"

Santa brought Eli a hover board, something he's wanted for many years, all the way back to when the technology was new and they cost $600. I think he was completely surprised, and few things bring me more joy than surprising one of my kids with a gift he or she wants. It was perfect, and I think he likes it.

Oh what fun!!!

We are off to St. George this week to ring in the new year. May our 20/20 vision show us all our blessings, and together may we seek to show greater love one to another.

Changing Traditions

Does that sound like an oxymoron? Isn't one of the characteristics of a tradition that it doesn't change but is the same year after year? Like most families, we have many memorable traditions connected with the holiday season, too many to list here, but there are a few I was thinking about as we decked the halls and trimmed the tree on Wednesday:

Ahh, the mousie calendar! It's a fabric calendar that counts down the days in December until Christmas. On top is a picture of Santa and his wife sipping cocoa by the fire, and underneath are little pockets, numbered 1 - 25, into which fits a little mouse, to be moved from pocket to pocket each day in December until Christmas. Gerald's mom gave us this calendar when Luke and Shulamith were little. It was an instant hit, but it also triggered some pretty intense fighting between the two kids over who would move the mouse each day. In time, Isaiah and Eli took over the fighting, but while I remember tears and tantrums with them, I don't remember the teeth marks that (literally) were part of Luke and Shulamith's battles over this mouse. For the past several years, as with so many things, Seth has had free reign with the mousie calendar, with no competition whatsoever. Until....

Enter Mathew to the family. Not only does he fight Seth for Halloween candy and Easter eggs, he is right in the middle of the drama of this mousie calendar. He doesn't fight for the right to move the mouse; instead, he steals the mouse and hides it all over the house, leaving Seth frantic to find it. Like so many aspects of Christmas at our house, this calendar is sacred! The mouse must be moved each day. I'm pretty sure Christmas would not come if it wasn't. Desperate to find the mouse last night, Seth exclaimed, "Matt keeps hiding the mouse! What are we going to do about this?" to which Shulamith replied, "Sorry, honey, but I don't think he will ever grow up." Perhaps not, but thanks to Mathew, the tradition of constant fighting over the mousie calendar continues. Not gonna lie; it makes me a happy mom.

Adding to my happiness is the code for this year's gifts. That's right, a code. You see, I take Christmas very seriously. Every gift must be a total surprise; no one may know ahead of time what he or she is getting. That can be challenging in a family with five nosy and resourceful kids, so several years ago, I started coding their presents. Rather than writing their names on the tags, I enter a code that only I know and that I don't reveal until Christmas morning. One year I did continents; each kid had a different one, so their gift tags said such things as "To: Bolivia" or "To: Quebec." Another year I did simple numbers; Luke was 5, Shulamith was 4, Isaiah was 3, Eli was 2, and Seth was 1. If the 4-digit number contained a 5, the gift was Luke's. If it contained a 4, it was Shulamith's. Etc. This year, I found a great idea on Pinterest. I bought different wrapping paper for each kid's gifts. They're all similar, shades of black and white with red accent (so fun!), but slightly different. I won't need to use tags at all, as long as I remember whose wrapping paper is whose. I can't even tell you how excited I get over my coded gifts. It must be just about the best tradition ever.

And tonight began another of my most favorite traditions, watching all the well-loved Christmas shows with Seth. My favorites are the ones that go back to my own childhood: "A Charlie Brown Christmas," "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," "Frosty the Snowman," "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." A few more recent ones have also made the list of "must watch," including tonight's "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." Seth and I love these shows, and more than that, we love watching together. It's a special tradition just between the two of us.

Yes, traditions are supposed to stay the same. That's what makes them traditions. However, one tradition that seems to be changing has to do with Black Friday. Shulamith and I have gone every year since she was maybe five? I can't be sure how old she was the first time we went, but it was somewhere around then. We have 20 years of memories wrapped around this day, and all of them include going to bed extra early on Thanksgiving after scouring the ads from the giant newspaper and plotting our strategy, and then waking before dawn; creeping quietly out of the house wearing sweats, boots, and heavy jackets; leaving everyone else home sound asleep. Among other wonders, this morning always includes hot chocolate from Starbuck's and (when we lived in Billings) cinnamon rolls from Cinnabon. This year we had to settle for mini-cinnabons from Burger King.

How could this tradition ever change? How's that possible? Well, here's the problem. In very recent years, stores have decided to open for Black Friday shopping, not at 5:00 am Friday, but the night before at midnight, or even earlier. Black Friday shopping has become an overnight event, rather than an early-morning one. I know you are thinking to yourselves, "NO! TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE." I wish I could. I wish I could. But sadly, I speak the truth. The door buster slashed prices now begin on Thanksgiving Eve, not early the next morning as in the past. This year, we didn't even consider going at night. We could not drag Baby Swen all over town in the middle of the night, and since he is such a lucky baby that his mommy still breastfeeds exclusively, where she goes, he goes.

Therefore, we did our normal, tried and true, routine of early morning shopping. It was still wonderful, yes, but a couple of things felt very different, most significantly, the absolute lack of crowds. Apparently, by the time we were out, most everyone else had already shopped the night away and was home sleeping. Secondly, all the major door buster sales were gone. All that was left were signs indicating what tremendous deals we missed out on. Sad. We actually missed only one item that we really, really wanted, and we got much shopping accomplished, but next year, I'm afraid we might need to switch up our routine and join the crowds of midnight shoppers. Changing traditions. Hmmm.

For the past three years, we have moved our family's Thanksgiving celebration to a different day or time to better accommodate others' schedules. This year we had it on Saturday, the day following Black Friday. I'm just gonna say that this was sort of tough. One of the best things about Black Friday shopping is coming home to a long, warm nap followed by delicious leftovers. Instead, this year, we shopped from 6:00 am to 4:00 pm, and came home to much work to do in preparation for the following day. I made two chocolate chip cookie pies and both bran and blueberry muffins. But when I started to put together the egg casserole for our Thanksgiving breakfast, utter exhaustion began to set in, and I found myself nearly having a meltdown because I bought uncooked rather than cooked sausage by mistake. Shulamith, who is the very best problem solver I know, placed Baby Swen in my arms and told me to sit down and snuggle him. She then took over, cooked the sausage, and assembled the casserole. We could finally go to bed. Next year, I'm calling dibs for our family's dinner and celebration on the actual Thanksgiving day. Just sayin'.

It all turned out great, though. Yes, we totally messed up the gravy, and the no-fail canned whipped cream came out runny and gross, but we had three of our kids here, plus bonus son Mathew, Baby Swen, and Isaiah's friend Naomi. Ruined gravy and gross whipped cream didn't matter at all. There was love all around and laughter and joy. We have much to be thankful for.

VIPKID: Can it cause mush brain?

Last spring, Shulamith began working for VIPKID, a company based in Beijing that teaches online English lessons to Chinese children. It's a wonderful job for at-home moms because teachers work entirely from home, and they choose when they work and how much. At first, I didn't consider applying myself; I already have a part-time job, teaching English at a two-year college, and that is plenty. However, at that time, because of its rapid growth, VIPKID was desperate for teachers and offering a $100 bonus for successful referrals.

I decided to go through the application/hiring process, just to get Shulamith the bonus. Of course anyone who works for VIPKID knows that the application/hiring process is the hardest part of the job by far. Once you're hired, it's a piece of cake, comparatively. I passed my initial interview and then went to the Mock I class. I thought that went very well, so I was annoyed when I learned that I'd need to do Mock II, so much so that I almost discontinued the process at that point, but then I thought about Shulamith's $100 and persisted.

Finally I was hired and could begin booking classes. I only had to teach one lesson for Shulamith to earn her bonus, but once I did that, I didn't want to stop. It's seriously so much fun, and the whole thing is sort of addictive. You get up, put on an orange shirt over your pajamas, talk to a cute Chinese kid for 25 minutes, and think to yourself, "I just made $10." So you do it again. And again. And again.

When I first started, I was in the middle of summer semester at my college, so I didn't open a lot of slots for bookings. But these past four weeks, I've been on break, so I opened tons of slots, including the very early morning peak hours. Beijing is 13 hours ahead of us, so prime time there is 5:00 a.m. - 7:00 a.m. our time. To be clear, I'm NOT a morning person. Come to think of it, I'm not really a night person either; I'm a "middle of the day" person. Yeah, that's what I am.

So these early hours are seriously kicking my trash. My brain might be turning to mush.

Evidence? Sunday I was scheduled to speak in church, my absolute most favorite thing ever, so I got up early, took a brief walk (only 2,000 steps), and jumped in the shower. I got out and went about my regular routine, starting with makeup, and then I removed the towel covering my head. What did I find? Slimy hair. Totally slimy. I had completely forgotten to rinse out the conditioner. What is wrong with me?!? Mush brain from VIPKID. Clearly.

Well this dilemma was quite a serious pickle because I had just applied flawless makeup. How would I get the slime out of my hair without destroying all that? I couldn't go back in the shower and let water run all down my face, so I had to rinse my hair ever so carefully in the sink. It wasn't a perfect rinse job, but I managed to get most of the slime out and style my hair as planned.

Whew.

Then, as it turned out, I didn't get to speak after all. Our bishop talked for 15 minutes before our meeting began, and then the first speaker went about 10 minutes over his time, leaving only five minutes for my talk. Nope. Not gonna work. I quickly texted the bishop and asked if he would like me to speak another day. He said, "How about next week?" Perfect! So now I get to be excited for another whole week. Woo.

My new semester began yesterday, so I've scaled back my VIP bookings to a manageable number. Perhaps this will cure my mush brain. We can only hope.

Cuz I really like being right.

 

Thursday night, we celebrated.

The celebration was ostensibly in honor of Shulamith and her new job, but I'm claiming it also as a celebration of me. Being right. Cuz I really like being right.

A few months ago, Shulamith began to consider a career path adjustment, returning to the K-12 public school system. Eleven years ago, after teaching kindergarten for four years, she "retired" in order to do more important work: Swen! After Kennedy was born, she picked up a night class at Salt Lake Community College, teaching developmental reading and writing. College adjuncting is a decent gig for a mom; I can attest to that, having done it for the past 25 years at five colleges in three states. But it has its drawbacks.

Unlike in the K-12 system, in order to get paid in the summer, adjuncts have to work in the summer. There is also a 6-week period in May and June when we don't get paid at all. Eeeeek! And most annoying, our schedules change every semester, so three times a year. Enrollment always governs course offerings, and enrollment is this giant mystery that administrators can only guess at solving. 

So basically, there is no job security whatsoever in adjunct teaching. 

That said, I have somehow always had classes when I wanted them; the system has worked for me, but it is stressful. "Will I get the classes I want, at the times I want, at the campus I want?" "Once they're offered, will they make?" Generally, classes don't run with fewer than 10 students. Stressful, yes.

By early spring, Shulamith decided to pursue returning to K-12, with several firm requirements. (1) She would accept only a half-time position. (2) It would be in the Jordan School District, so on the same schedule as her kids. (3) It would be very near her home. She applied for all the jobs she found that met those criteria, but as you can imagine, there weren't many. Most teaching jobs are full time. There are only three schools close enough to where we live, and one of those is where Eli teaches, and district policy prohibits relatives from working under the same supervisor. It didn't look promising.

Then, about a month ago, she saw a posting for a half-time kindergarten position at Mountain Point Elementary, our neighborhood school where her three kids attend. What??? Is this even possible? She applied that very day.

And the waiting began.

One week went by, then two. After three weeks, Shulamith was 100% convinced that she didn't even get an interview.

"Obviously, they don't want me. They didn't even interview me," she declared.

"I disagree," I replied. "These things take time. There are any number of reasons they haven't reached out to you yet."

"Nope. They don't want me."

That very day, we happened to be standing in an aisle at Smith's when her phone alerted her to a call from Mountain Point. This is not unusual. Because of Swen's T1 Diabetes, she gets calls from the school all the time. He's going low. He's going high. He bolused for lunch but now says he doesn't want to eat most of it. And on and on. But this time, the call was different:

"Hello, Shulamith? Hi! Your kids are all fine. Swen is good. We're calling to invite you to interview for the half-day kindergarten position."

Uh huh. Who was right? Just sayin'.

Her interview was a week ago Wednesday, and she thought it went great. She also thought they should offer her the job that very day, even though they told her quite clearly that they were doing more interviews Friday and would make a decision by "early next week."

"If they really want me, they'll call today."

"Uh, no they won't. They told you they have more interviews Friday. They for sure won't call until after Friday," I argued.

"Nope. If they really like me, they won't wait till Friday. They'll want to wrap this up today."

They didn't call that day. Or the next. Five days passed, and suddenly, it was "early next week" already. Still no call. By Wednesday, Shulamith's hope was fully extinguished. It had been a full week since her interview.

"They obviously don't want to hire me, but I wish they would at least tell me that. Send me one of those form letters about how they had 'so many qualified applicants' but decided to go a different direction."

"I don't think that's necessarily the case," I dared suggest. "It's possible, sure. But it's also possible there was some internal glitch in the process that slowed them down. I really still think you'll get it."

"No I won't!" She was adamant. 

Positively convinced she didn't get the job, she decided to widen her search. She found a half-time kinder opening at charter school near our neighborhood and applied. They called her that very day, interviewed her the following day, and offered her the position on the spot. 

Now what? This job met most of her criteria; it was half time and near her house. But it was not in the Jordan School District so not on her kids' schedule, and also, charter schools pay considerably less than public schools. I told her she needed to email the principal at Mountain Point right way, explain that she had another offer, and ask where they were in their hiring process. 

Literally ten seconds after she hit "send" on that email, the principal called her. Guess what? There was a minor glitch that slowed them down. (Really? I never would have thought of that.) Since Shulamith's interview, they secured funding for an additional kindergarten position, so the principal was working to restructure and shuffle positions internally before moving forward. But she definitely wanted to hire Shulamith, so much so that she offered her the job right then on the phone.

Two job offers in the same day. Not bad.

I am so happy and excited for her! How cool that she gets to be at her kids' school! It's only one more year that all three of them will be there in grades 6, 4, and 1. The following year Swen will go to middle school. For sure this will be a year to remember.

Thursday night, we celebrated.

The celebration was ostensibly in honor of Shulamith and her new job, but I'm claiming it also as a celebration of me. Being right. Cuz I really like being right.