Changing Traditions

Does that sound like an oxymoron? Isn't one of the characteristics of a tradition that it doesn't change but is the same year after year? Like most families, we have many memorable traditions connected with the holiday season, too many to list here, but there are a few I was thinking about as we decked the halls and trimmed the tree on Wednesday:

Ahh, the mousie calendar! It's a fabric calendar that counts down the days in December until Christmas. On top is a picture of Santa and his wife sipping cocoa by the fire, and underneath are little pockets, numbered 1 - 25, into which fits a little mouse, to be moved from pocket to pocket each day in December until Christmas. Gerald's mom gave us this calendar when Luke and Shulamith were little. It was an instant hit, but it also triggered some pretty intense fighting between the two kids over who would move the mouse each day. In time, Isaiah and Eli took over the fighting, but while I remember tears and tantrums with them, I don't remember the teeth marks that (literally) were part of Luke and Shulamith's battles over this mouse. For the past several years, as with so many things, Seth has had free reign with the mousie calendar, with no competition whatsoever. Until....

Enter Mathew to the family. Not only does he fight Seth for Halloween candy and Easter eggs, he is right in the middle of the drama of this mousie calendar. He doesn't fight for the right to move the mouse; instead, he steals the mouse and hides it all over the house, leaving Seth frantic to find it. Like so many aspects of Christmas at our house, this calendar is sacred! The mouse must be moved each day. I'm pretty sure Christmas would not come if it wasn't. Desperate to find the mouse last night, Seth exclaimed, "Matt keeps hiding the mouse! What are we going to do about this?" to which Shulamith replied, "Sorry, honey, but I don't think he will ever grow up." Perhaps not, but thanks to Mathew, the tradition of constant fighting over the mousie calendar continues. Not gonna lie; it makes me a happy mom.

Adding to my happiness is the code for this year's gifts. That's right, a code. You see, I take Christmas very seriously. Every gift must be a total surprise; no one may know ahead of time what he or she is getting. That can be challenging in a family with five nosy and resourceful kids, so several years ago, I started coding their presents. Rather than writing their names on the tags, I enter a code that only I know and that I don't reveal until Christmas morning. One year I did continents; each kid had a different one, so their gift tags said such things as "To: Bolivia" or "To: Quebec." Another year I did simple numbers; Luke was 5, Shulamith was 4, Isaiah was 3, Eli was 2, and Seth was 1. If the 4-digit number contained a 5, the gift was Luke's. If it contained a 4, it was Shulamith's. Etc. This year, I found a great idea on Pinterest. I bought different wrapping paper for each kid's gifts. They're all similar, shades of black and white with red accent (so fun!), but slightly different. I won't need to use tags at all, as long as I remember whose wrapping paper is whose. I can't even tell you how excited I get over my coded gifts. It must be just about the best tradition ever.

And tonight began another of my most favorite traditions, watching all the well-loved Christmas shows with Seth. My favorites are the ones that go back to my own childhood: "A Charlie Brown Christmas," "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," "Frosty the Snowman," "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." A few more recent ones have also made the list of "must watch," including tonight's "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer." Seth and I love these shows, and more than that, we love watching together. It's a special tradition just between the two of us.

Yes, traditions are supposed to stay the same. That's what makes them traditions. However, one tradition that seems to be changing has to do with Black Friday. Shulamith and I have gone every year since she was maybe five? I can't be sure how old she was the first time we went, but it was somewhere around then. We have 20 years of memories wrapped around this day, and all of them include going to bed extra early on Thanksgiving after scouring the ads from the giant newspaper and plotting our strategy, and then waking before dawn; creeping quietly out of the house wearing sweats, boots, and heavy jackets; leaving everyone else home sound asleep. Among other wonders, this morning always includes hot chocolate from Starbuck's and (when we lived in Billings) cinnamon rolls from Cinnabon. This year we had to settle for mini-cinnabons from Burger King.

How could this tradition ever change? How's that possible? Well, here's the problem. In very recent years, stores have decided to open for Black Friday shopping, not at 5:00 am Friday, but the night before at midnight, or even earlier. Black Friday shopping has become an overnight event, rather than an early-morning one. I know you are thinking to yourselves, "NO! TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE." I wish I could. I wish I could. But sadly, I speak the truth. The door buster slashed prices now begin on Thanksgiving Eve, not early the next morning as in the past. This year, we didn't even consider going at night. We could not drag Baby Swen all over town in the middle of the night, and since he is such a lucky baby that his mommy still breastfeeds exclusively, where she goes, he goes.

Therefore, we did our normal, tried and true, routine of early morning shopping. It was still wonderful, yes, but a couple of things felt very different, most significantly, the absolute lack of crowds. Apparently, by the time we were out, most everyone else had already shopped the night away and was home sleeping. Secondly, all the major door buster sales were gone. All that was left were signs indicating what tremendous deals we missed out on. Sad. We actually missed only one item that we really, really wanted, and we got much shopping accomplished, but next year, I'm afraid we might need to switch up our routine and join the crowds of midnight shoppers. Changing traditions. Hmmm.

For the past three years, we have moved our family's Thanksgiving celebration to a different day or time to better accommodate others' schedules. This year we had it on Saturday, the day following Black Friday. I'm just gonna say that this was sort of tough. One of the best things about Black Friday shopping is coming home to a long, warm nap followed by delicious leftovers. Instead, this year, we shopped from 6:00 am to 4:00 pm, and came home to much work to do in preparation for the following day. I made two chocolate chip cookie pies and both bran and blueberry muffins. But when I started to put together the egg casserole for our Thanksgiving breakfast, utter exhaustion began to set in, and I found myself nearly having a meltdown because I bought uncooked rather than cooked sausage by mistake. Shulamith, who is the very best problem solver I know, placed Baby Swen in my arms and told me to sit down and snuggle him. She then took over, cooked the sausage, and assembled the casserole. We could finally go to bed. Next year, I'm calling dibs for our family's dinner and celebration on the actual Thanksgiving day. Just sayin'.

It all turned out great, though. Yes, we totally messed up the gravy, and the no-fail canned whipped cream came out runny and gross, but we had three of our kids here, plus bonus son Mathew, Baby Swen, and Isaiah's friend Naomi. Ruined gravy and gross whipped cream didn't matter at all. There was love all around and laughter and joy. We have much to be thankful for.