Oxygen

Don't you just love it when young children confuse words or word meanings, creating new and often hilarious images?

I am reminded of so long ago when at age six, our precocious firstborn, Luke, proclaimed, "Being a kid is okay, but I think I'm going to enjoy adultery more."

Or when we lived in Northwest Washington, and Isaiah once remarked, "We're going to Bellingham, where Baby Jesus was born!"

Or when Seth so lovingly referred to his oldest siblings as "Wook and Mith."

Or when Seth's older brothers taught him about large numbers and introduced him to the term "googleplex," only Seth called it "cocoa flakes," and couldn't understand why no one knew what he was talking about.

Or when we first moved to Billings, and the unfamiliar dry climate caused Seth's lips to be constantly chapped. He would say over and over, "Mom, I need chopsticks!" It took me several days to realize what he was actually asking for: chap stick.

As Seth grows, we are blessed with fewer and fewer of such charming language misuses. So we relish each and every one. Recently, Seth wanted a particular video game. It cost $40 retail, and he wanted to withdraw that much from his savings account to buy it. I was not enthusiastic. We already have at least 5,000,000 video games (okay, I tend to exaggerate) in this house, and I'd rather Seth keep his money in savings. Luke suggested a compromise: they could bid for the game in an online auction and perhaps get it for less.

Seth was happy with this idea, so Luke found the game in an auction, and the highest bid at the time was just $5. Luke entered a bid of $10, and the wait was on. The auction ended the following day at 2 p.m. What no one bothered to tell Seth was that even if he won, he'd likely have to wait at least a week for the game to arrive in the mail. Seth has many wonderful character traits, but patience is not one of them. He was nearly devastated by the thought of waiting a week for this precious game.

The whining began.

The whining continued.

The whining did not cease.

In an extremely "bad mom moment" (does anyone else ever have those?), I exclaimed in frustration: "I'm going to cancel this auction, and I'm not taking your money out of savings either!"

To that, Seth ran straight to Luke for comfort: "Luke, Mom is going to cancel my oxygen."

Luke: "Seth, that is just terrible! How will you breathe?"

The following day, rejuvenated from a good night's sleep, Seth awoke in a good (read: not whining) mood.

Seth: "Luke, how's my oxygen doing this morning?"

Luke: "Well, I don't know. You'll need to see a doctor to get that checked."

In the way of closure, you should know that when 2 p.m. arrived, Seth won the "oxygen," paying $15 for the video game. Presently, he awaits its arrival. Patiently? No. But hopefully at some point he'll recognize the value of saving $25. I hope so anyway.