This past Thursday I drove to the Gardner Concert Hall on the campus of the University of Utah to watch Seth's performing choir, Vocal Ensemble. It was the culmination of a 3-day retreat. Several high schools participated, and of course Hillcrest was the best.
One thing I noticed was how many parents brought babies with them. This is definitely Utah!
When Luke and Shulamith were in high school in Washington, I was the only mom with a baby, our capstone child, I called him, seven years younger than his next older sibling and 15 years younger than the oldest.
Seeing so many parents of high school kids who were also the parents of babies made me smile and reminisce. I remember bringing Seth, first in a front pack and later in a stroller, to every Mt. Vernon High football and basketball game to watch Shulamith cheer. Sometimes the other parents would comment, "Glad it's you and not me!" to which I would respectfully reply, "Me too!"
I remember taking Seth with us on Luke's college search. When we visited Whitman, Luke's eventual choice, Seth was just two years old. We were decidedly the only parents there with a small one. We had both a toddler and a kid who would enter college the following year, not to mention the three in between. That's how blessed we were! The following year we had one child in college, one in high school, one in middle school, one in elementary school, and one in preschool. It was heavenly.
That capstone baby continues to bless our lives 17 years later, in more ways than you can imagine. Aside from keeping us fully involved in the parenting business for 30 years, we've had the joy of watching our older kids interact with him. I remember leaving a "sleeping" Seth with Luke, ever so briefly, when Seth was only a few days old, because I had to drive Isaiah to scouts. I returned to find Luke walking the floor, singing to a very "awake" Seth in his arms. Shulamith was 14 when Seth was born, and by the time she turned 16 and could drive, she pretty much took him everywhere. Both the older kids learned how to be nurturing parents through this firsthand experience.
Yesterday I was in Target, where they now have their back-to-school section, full of binders, notebook paper, scissors, crayons, and glue. I paused. So many years I spent walking up and down those aisles, lists in hand, searching for the right items for each kid. The start of the school year is so exciting! I really thought it would never end.
It did. Seth will be a senior in just a couple weeks. He might ask me to pick up a couple spirals for him and a pen. Maybe. Most of his work is now submitted online. Never again will I take a kid up and down the aisles at Target, with the magical anticipation of a new school year in his eyes. Even capstone babies grow up.
Sometimes parents, when they're reaching the "now or never" point, will ask me about having a child a few years after the others. I always, always tell them, "If you're considering it, do it!" Gerald and I often say that having Seth was the best decision we ever made. And it was.
Admittedly, his growing independence is messing with my world a bit. He's had a job since he was 15, so that feels normal, but this driving and dating and running around with friends is all pretty new. I'm trying, at times more successfully than others, to adjust. But last night, when he was finally home, he came in and lay on my bed. We debriefed his day, his thoughts and feelings. We talked about work, school approaching, him possibly singing in a youth choir for the upcoming General Conference, his mission next year, and yes, even about girls. How could I be anything but grateful?
On some ridiculous level, I think I believed that if we had a capstone child so far behind the others, surely he wouldn't betray me and grow up. But time marches forward. Always forward.
I am the mom of a capstone child, born seven years after his next older sibling and 15 years after the oldest.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
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