Prom, 2017: It was almost like being there - St. George Weekend, Part 3 of 3

We humans can do many things, but one thing we can't do is be in two places at once. That said, with modern technology, we can make a valiant effort.

This past weekend presented me with a dilemma, which I explained here, but the short of it is that Seth's prom fell on the same night I had already planned to be in St. George for my friend's daughter's wedding. An acquaintance once said this about me: "Terrianne is a fierce mom." Honestly, I've never felt more complimented. I do love to be present in all areas of my kids' lives, and no, I don't like missing important events, certainly not my youngest baby's junior prom. And yet. I really, really wanted to be at this wedding. I was honored to be invited to attend the sealing. It was important to me. So even after learning of the prom conflict, there wasn't any doubt I would go to St. George.

Modern technology to the rescue!

With a prom group of 16 kids, the pre-prom picture-taking session was a bit of a zoo. Gerald was there with the list of pictures I'd requested (demanded?), trying his best to get everything I wanted. He did great! Really, he did. Just look at these gorgeous pictures:

He even thought up one of his own, a picture of the back of Jodi's hair! I hope she wasn't too creeped out by Gerald asking her to turn around, so he could take the picture.

But what made my absence tolerable was Seth's FaceTime call, as they were preparing to leave for dinner. I had just finished eating when the call came, so I slipped out into the foyer of the chapel, where I got to talk to Seth and Jodi in real time. They were pretty distracted by all the activity, but I still got to say my bit:

"Ahhhhhh, you two look so beautiful! Jodie, that dress is totally adorable! Please, please be so safe driving tonight...seat belts, everyone...and have so much fun! I love you, Seth!"

It was great. I don't feel like I missed anything at all. Thank you so much, amazing technology. Such a thing would not have been possible when I went to prom.

Prom, 2017: It was almost like being there.

It's really all about the food: St. George Weekend, Part 2 of 3

About two seconds after Patty texted me the date and time of Lindsey's sealing and reception, Shulamith and I looked at each other and said, "Girls' Weekend in St. George?" About two seconds later, we began to plan out our food. We have some favorite eating establishments in St. George, and it took some careful planning to fit them all into our 2.5 days there, especially since we knew that delicious food and dessert would be provided at the wedding dinner and reception Saturday evening.

But don't you worry. We are Websters. We wouldn't let a little thing like a tight schedule cause us to miss even one of our fabulous food frenzies. Careful planning is all we needed. Upon arriving in St. George Friday around 1:00, we headed straight for our favorite Mexican place, El Coyote Charro. There we feasted on steak and chicken tacos with chips and salsa on the side. This place makes such yummy and (mostly) authentic Mexican food; its only downside is that it serves Pepsi products (ugh). We drank water and looked forward to popcorn and Diet Coke at the movie that afternoon.

I was especially excited to see the movie Hidden Figures because my friend John (who happens to be yet another 3-decade-long friendship) always sees all the Oscar-nominated films and then ranks them for me, based on what he thinks I'll like. Thirty years is a long time to know someone; his predictions are always spot on. He thought this one would be my favorite, and yes indeed, it was. The other super fun part of going to the movies was that my brother Tom met us at the theater and went with us. He just happened to be in southern Utah last weekend, so the timing was perfect.

But wait....was it time to eat again? I think it was. We weren't sure where to go because we were "kid free," and we generally don't go to sit-down restaurants when we have Shulamith's kids (choosing not to be whined and dined). All three of us thought some down-home, comfort food sounded good, so we went to Cracker Barrel, where we enjoyed a delicious meal and fun visit with Tom.

We said goodbye to him and headed for our motel, but not before stopping at 25 Main to get cupcakes, raspberry and lemon (me), cinnamon and vanilla (Shulamith). We were way too full by this point to take more than a bite, but we knew they'd make a perfect breakfast appetizer the following morning.

I say "appetizer" because breakfast in St. George means one thing and one thing only to me: The Crepery. As the title indicates, this place specializes in fluffy, French-style crepes, properly pronounced with a short /e/, not a long /a/. (Thanks for getting that right; my family never does). They serve both sweet and savory crepes, so it's nearly impossible to decide. Ultimately, I went "sweet," with the custard, banana, and chocolate sauce crepe. Shulamith went "savory," with the egg, cheese, and sausage crepe. Both were amazing. Next time, though, I'm branching out and trying the savory one with honey cured ham, cheddar cheese and a dill cream cheese sauce. Go ahead. Get into your car right now and drive the 3.5 hours to St. George. This place is worth it.

After breakfast, we browsed the outlet stores, including the Down East warehouse sale, but surprisingly, walked away empty handed. Soon it was time to go back to the motel to change clothes for the wedding. We stopped on the way at Riggatti's to get Shulamith's favorite pizza, which we ate in the parking lot of the temple. I don't love pizza quite as much as she does, but this place makes one truly excellent pizza.

The wedding was lovely, as weddings always are. Two adorable kids in love, walking out those beautiful temple doors, their faces aglow....you can't help but feel hope for the future. That afternoon and evening, we ate yummy barbecue, hosted by the groom's parents, followed by a variety of finger desserts, including banana bread, blueberry muffins, strawberry mini cakes, cream puffs, and lemon bars. If you know Shulamith well and are wondering how she dealt with all this fruit, no worries; she just ate lots and lots of cream puffs. I, on the other hand, enjoyed one of everything.

On our way out of town Sunday morning, we ate french toast, Belgian waffles, eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns at some restaurant that I can't remember, but it was good.

And five pounds later, a supremely successful girls' weekend in St. George is history.

"Thanks for the cookies. They were good." - St. George Weekend, Part 1 of 3

This is one of my favorite quotes from this past weekend, when Shulamith and I traveled to St. George to attend the wedding and celebrate the marriage of my friend Patty's daughter, Lindsey. There were other great lines as well. This one came from Patty's brother James, whom I met for the first time at the reception Saturday night.

Backstory: Patty and I only lived together for one brief semester during our junior year in college, but somehow (and it's rather remarkable, really), our friendship has endured the test of both time (three decades) and distance. I wrote about that here, so I won't repeat, but suffice it to say that one of the coolest parts of this past weekend was putting faces to names of the many people in her life, whom I've come to "know" though never actually met.

Her brother James is one of those people. The closest I came to meeting him was during the semester Patty and I were roommates, when I helped her bake cookies for him. So Saturday night I introduced myself like this: "Hi, I'm Terrianne, and once upon time during college days, I helped your sister bake cookies for you." As I was leaving the reception, he said, "Well thanks for the cookies. They were good."

Then there's Patty's niece, Clarissa. As Shulamith and I sat in the waiting room of the temple prior to the sealing, I tried to figure out which one she was. I'd seen pictures on Facebook, but it was still hard to be sure. There were two cute, blond girls, and I figured one of them had to be she. I was right! I confirmed with Patty's sister Claire after the sealing and then introduced myself to Clarissa: "Hi, I'm Terrianne. I've "watched" you grow up (virtually) for most of your life," to which she replied, "Well that's scary!"

Finally, the very best line of the evening...no, the entire weekend...came out of a dinner conversation with Patty's sons, Tyler and Jacob. I had actually met Tyler once before when he and Eli were seven months old, and Eli and I visited St. George. Tyler and Eli crawled around the living room, while Patty and I reminisced  about college days and chatted about marriage and motherhood. Twenty-four-year-old Tyler didn't remember that day at all. In fact, he had no idea who I was or how I knew his and Jacob's names.

He may not remember, but I feel like I've known both these amazing young men all their lives. At one point, Shulamith asked both brothers how they feel about their sister's new husband. Jacob said they like him just fine, though they don't really know him that well yet.

Then Tyler chimed in:

"But I'm sure my mom knows him very well. I'm sure she's been interrogating him nonstop since the first day she met him, just like she does us. Question after question after question, until finally you just give up answers, anything to make it stop: "Please, Mom, I need to go to the bathroom!"

Two things: Tyler could be a stand-up comic, and Patty is a mother after my own heart.

"Thanks for the cookies. They were good"

Showing up. Even when the timing isn't perfect

They say "Timing is everything." I've never figured out who "they" refers to, but in this case, "they" have a pretty good point. So much depends on timing. And sometimes, no matter how badly we want it to to be perfect, it just isn't.

For example, that one time when Shulamith's senior year homecoming dance was the same day as Parents' Weekend at Luke's college, his freshman year. What's a mom to do? We went to Parents' Weekend for Luke, but I sure hated missing one of her special nights.

Then there was this other time when I missed her 8th grade graduation ceremony and dance because I was in the hospital delivering Seth. Probably got a bye on that one, but still.

This coming weekend presents another timing dilemma, where there is no perfect solution, and let's be very clear: I prefer perfection.You see, a very close friend of mine will marry off her only daughter this Saturday in St. George. This friend and I were college roommates for only one semester and we've never lived in the same town, but somehow, we've stayed close all this time. In pre-Internet days, we actually wrote each other genuine, snail-mail letters. That's right; we'd hand write letters on actual paper. Then we'd fold the paper to fit neatly into a small envelope (in fact, this friend taught me the perfect way to do just that), add a stamp, and deposit the envelop in a mailbox. No, we didn't do this daily or even weekly, but many times a year, we'd send letters back and forth.

The advent of the Internet was a huge boon to our friendship as suddenly, we could throw emails back and forth almost daily. One of her sons once asked his mom, "Are you doing something important, or are you just blah, blah, blahing with Terrianne?" Let me just say that all that "blah, blah, blahing is very important to me. It has been a source of tremendous joy. I am grateful, more than I can express, for this close, albeit long-distance, friendship all these years.

Another thing about this particular friend is that she shows up! Sometimes she brings along her husband or her sister or her daughter, but she always shows up. She shows up for the major events in my kids' lives. In 2006, she drove all the way from St. George to Billings, Montana for Luke's mission farewell. Once we moved here, showing up became easier, but it still requires a 4-hour drive each way. Yet she still shows up. She showed up for Eli's mission farewell and homecoming. She showed up for both Shulamith's and Eli's weddings.

Her kids are younger than mine, so only now are they beginning to reach these huge milestones, and I've been so excited to show up for her. When she first texted me the date of her daughter's wedding, I immediately marked my calendar. Shulamith and I had already been talking about a girls' weekend before Monster (Monson-Webster) Baby #3 arrives in July, and this presented the perfect opportunity. We booked a motel and began planning food at our favorite restaurants in St. George (because everything is always about food). Woo!

That plan is still in force, and we are super excited; however, there's one timing glitch. Two weeks ago, Seth asked a girl to prom. "When's prom?" I asked. He wasn't sure, but he thought sometime in March. "Well, as long as it isn't March 11th," I declared. You guessed it. The following day I received a text from him: "Sorry, Mom. Prom is March 11th.

Noooooooooooooo! No! No! No! No! No! Any other day than that day, and besides, March is a dumb time to have prom. Aren't proms supposed to be in May? Yes, yes they are! This must be some weird Utah thing. Grrrr.

I never really thought about changing my plans. I am so excited to attend my friend's daughter's wedding; I never seriously considered not going. And as Seth has said all along, "Mom, parents don't actually go to prom, so what is the big deal? You were here for Sweetheart Ball last month, and I'm only a junior so they'll be lots more dances next year, but a wedding happens only once. And Dad can even face time you during our pictures Saturday evening, which is the only part parents are involved in anyway."

All true. It will be a lovely weekend, no doubt.

Showing up. Even when the timing isn't perfect.

Cuz I could always carry you

Today was a bit emotional. Not in a bad way, but emotional for sure. Today, Seth did two important things: he sat for the ACT exam, and he got his driver's license. On the same day. It's a lot to process for this attachment mom. Both these events represent a changing future for him, a maturity I'm not sure I'm ready for.

As most of you know, Seth is the youngest in our family of five children, and I've never been in a hurry for him to grow up. With firstborn kids, everything is so new. We tend to rush each milestone because each new accomplishment is so exciting. But with the fifth and final babe, there is no rush. None. They can stay little just as long as they want to. They never want to.

I remember when Seth was a year old and learning to walk. "Are you sure?" I asked him. "Are you sure you want to do this? Cuz I could always carry you."

He decided to walk.

And run.

And go to school.

And make friends.

And play the piano and video-games. He decided to join his high school choir and perform in musicals. I blinked, and he was a deacon, and then a teacher, and then a priest. Just like that, it was no longer I coaxing him to come for scripture and prayer, but he reminding me, "Mom, don't go to sleep; we still need to say a prayer."

Today, he took two more big steps forward, one that opens the door for higher education and one that brings tremendous freedom and independence. Whether I'm ready or not, this is happening.

So Seth, be safe out there on the road. Be safe, my baby. I'm right here by your side through the many choices the next year and a half will present. And if it ever feels too tough, if you ever feel like you can't take the next step by yourself, don't you even worry.....

Cuz I could always carry you.

Lack of Paradise

The scriptures tell us that when we pass from this life to the next, we will be "received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise..." (Alma 40:12). There we will rest. And we will work. It will be both peaceful and productive.

For me, a place here on earth simulates that same experience of peace and productivity. I'm sure it's only "through a glass darkly" (I Corinthians 13:12), but to my small, mortal mind, it seems parallel.  It's called Paradise Bakery, and I've always thought the name was perfectly fitting. I've written about this place before, once here in 2009, and again here in 2014. Paradise: my place when I truly need to be productive but also seek a restful, peaceful environment.

So yesterday morning, bight and early, I dressed in comfy clothes, pulled my hair back, gathered my laptop and backpack, and headed for Paradise with a mission. Last Wednesday, I received 45 essays, and I would plug through them, one by one, making substantial progress on this lovely Saturday. I would have at least seven graded by the time Shulamith came to meet me for breakfast and another seven by lunch. (And if you're wondering if my entire world revolves around food, yes it does).

But the minute I arrived, I knew my plan was thwarted:

Lack of Paradise.

That's right. Paradise Bakery on Ft. Union is closed down. How could this happen? Those soft booths, some hidden back away from the crowd, with electricity under each one. That marvelous fast Wifi. Those delicious cookies (Once you've read three essays, you can buy a cookie!). What ever will I do with lack of Paradise?

I left discouraged, but then some rain began to fall so at least there's that. I got in my car and texted Shulamith, the only one who would understand the magnitude this dilemma. She suggested I try Corner Bakery by Fashion Place, so off I went. Hmmmm. It was okay. Just okay. Definitely lack of Paradise. The booths are not very comfortable, and only two I could find had electricity, and none of them were hidden away. It was noisy. There were no good cookies.

I worked there anyway because by that point, I was woefully behind schedule, and even with lack of Paradise, those dang essays needed to be graded. May I add here that I don't much like working on Saturdays. I am a part time instructor. I am not a career woman. I should not have to spend my weekends working. Especially when I can't do it in Paradise!

Blah!

I had six essays graded by the time Shulamith arrived, and then made it to twelve by lunch. By that point I was really tired of lack of Paradise, so I went home and tried to work there. It's hard. Gerald and I are diametrical opposites when it comes to desired work environments. He likes either loud Spanish music playing in the background or the droll of CNN, reporting about the unparalleled sad state of our nation as a result of the clown we elected President. I need pin-drop quiet. He likes the window shades wide open, so he can see the mountains in the background. I like them closed, so I can see my computer screen. Diametrical opposites.

I didn't get much done. But here's the upside. Last night was Seth's first date, his first formal dance! For many of you, that is hard to believe. Me too. Seth cannot be that old. In Utah, they don't just go to dances; they do entire day dates. So in the afternoon, they went to the humane society to pet dogs, followed by Italian sodas at Fiiz. Then he was home to change for dinner and the dance. Here he is waiting (not so patiently) for his date and two other couples to arrive at our house to pick him up:

They finally arrived! I only saw Seth briefly when he got home last night, just time for a quick rundown on the evening and a prayer, but the report is he had a great time! Dinner at Chili's; followed by the dance at Rio Tinto; and then a movie, The Great Wall. All in all, a delightful first date for Seth!

The strange part? No one else was taking pictures. I'm serious. No other parents were taking pictures of their kids all dolled up for this dance. I didn't want to embarrass Seth, but on the other hand, I was not about to miss pictures of his first formal dance. Talk about lack of Paradise. That, my dear readers, was not happening. So when the group arrived to pick him up, as sweetly as I could, I ran outside and insisted on grabbing a few photos. All the kids were super adorable and accommodating of this mom, who needed pictures of her baby's first dance. Here they are:

The day began with unfortunate lack of Paradise, but ended with joy!

"Do you wanna go to Prom?" The networking of today's dating scene

I went to many dances throughout my high school years, and I don't remember all the details, but I do remember my senior prom. Most importantly, I remember my dress, because as I explained in this other blog post from only a few years ago, when it comes to prom, it's all about the dress. I also have a vague memory of how I was asked to my senior prom, and I'm pretty sure it went something like this:

Him: Hey, do you wanna go to prom?
Me: Sure!

Yeah, that was about the extent of it.

It is not like that anymore. I don't know if it's just being here in Utah (Utah has a culture all its own with some rather unusual traditions) or if it's true everywhere, but just asking someone to one of these high school dances is a giant ordeal. It involves all sorts of careful planning and networking and creativity. Just the "asking" part is a thing.

How do I know all this? Well you see, my baby is under the illusion that he is 16 and old enough to participate in such things as dates and dances. Which is beyond ridiculous because only just the other day, I was walking him up 450 E. each morning to Midvalley Elementary, our first year living here in Utah, when he was in 6th grade.

And now he is scheduled to attend not just one, but two (!) dances in the next two months. How'd that happen? As I said, it's complicated.

Hillcrest's Sweetheart's Ball is next weekend. It is a "girl-ask-guy" format, and a few weeks ago, Seth found a large poster outside on our doorstep, along with several candy bars. Glued to the poster was a combination lock. Lots of different girls' names were written on the poster, paired with different combinations. Seth had to try the different combinations until he found the one that opened the lock, which was next to the name of the girl who was asking him to the dance. How confused are you? Me too.

It didn't end there. "Will you text her and say you'll go?" I asked. Oh no, that would be way too simple. He had to do a thing. So he bought donuts and made a sign. The following night he coordinated with her friends to make sure she would be at home when he got off work, and then he doorbell ditched the donuts and sign on her doorstep. Okay, this is my Seth. Seth Webster Erichsen. Running around at night, leaving donuts on girls' doorsteps. What has happened to my sane world?

It didn't end there.

Just about the time he was all set to go to this dance, talk of prom began. Apparently there was a special day (D-day) when guys were supposed to ask girls to prom, but he totally missed that, so the girl he was supposed to ask (a different one from his date for next week's Sweetheart's Ball) was left waiting, the only one of this group of friends without a prom date. So last night he took care of that. She likes Hunger Games, so he made three large signs. Then he networked with her friends to make sure she would be home last night and left them by her door, along with candy and a Mockingjay pin.

Now, I guess, he waits for her to accept. "How do you know she got the stuff?" I asked. "She got it. Her friend just texted me."

Networking.

"Do you wanna go to prom?"
 "Sure!"

It's not so simple anymore.