Showing up. Even when the timing isn't perfect

They say "Timing is everything." I've never figured out who "they" refers to, but in this case, "they" have a pretty good point. So much depends on timing. And sometimes, no matter how badly we want it to to be perfect, it just isn't.

For example, that one time when Shulamith's senior year homecoming dance was the same day as Parents' Weekend at Luke's college, his freshman year. What's a mom to do? We went to Parents' Weekend for Luke, but I sure hated missing one of her special nights.

Then there was this other time when I missed her 8th grade graduation ceremony and dance because I was in the hospital delivering Seth. Probably got a bye on that one, but still.

This coming weekend presents another timing dilemma, where there is no perfect solution, and let's be very clear: I prefer perfection.You see, a very close friend of mine will marry off her only daughter this Saturday in St. George. This friend and I were college roommates for only one semester and we've never lived in the same town, but somehow, we've stayed close all this time. In pre-Internet days, we actually wrote each other genuine, snail-mail letters. That's right; we'd hand write letters on actual paper. Then we'd fold the paper to fit neatly into a small envelope (in fact, this friend taught me the perfect way to do just that), add a stamp, and deposit the envelop in a mailbox. No, we didn't do this daily or even weekly, but many times a year, we'd send letters back and forth.

The advent of the Internet was a huge boon to our friendship as suddenly, we could throw emails back and forth almost daily. One of her sons once asked his mom, "Are you doing something important, or are you just blah, blah, blahing with Terrianne?" Let me just say that all that "blah, blah, blahing is very important to me. It has been a source of tremendous joy. I am grateful, more than I can express, for this close, albeit long-distance, friendship all these years.

Another thing about this particular friend is that she shows up! Sometimes she brings along her husband or her sister or her daughter, but she always shows up. She shows up for the major events in my kids' lives. In 2006, she drove all the way from St. George to Billings, Montana for Luke's mission farewell. Once we moved here, showing up became easier, but it still requires a 4-hour drive each way. Yet she still shows up. She showed up for Eli's mission farewell and homecoming. She showed up for both Shulamith's and Eli's weddings.

Her kids are younger than mine, so only now are they beginning to reach these huge milestones, and I've been so excited to show up for her. When she first texted me the date of her daughter's wedding, I immediately marked my calendar. Shulamith and I had already been talking about a girls' weekend before Monster (Monson-Webster) Baby #3 arrives in July, and this presented the perfect opportunity. We booked a motel and began planning food at our favorite restaurants in St. George (because everything is always about food). Woo!

That plan is still in force, and we are super excited; however, there's one timing glitch. Two weeks ago, Seth asked a girl to prom. "When's prom?" I asked. He wasn't sure, but he thought sometime in March. "Well, as long as it isn't March 11th," I declared. You guessed it. The following day I received a text from him: "Sorry, Mom. Prom is March 11th.

Noooooooooooooo! No! No! No! No! No! Any other day than that day, and besides, March is a dumb time to have prom. Aren't proms supposed to be in May? Yes, yes they are! This must be some weird Utah thing. Grrrr.

I never really thought about changing my plans. I am so excited to attend my friend's daughter's wedding; I never seriously considered not going. And as Seth has said all along, "Mom, parents don't actually go to prom, so what is the big deal? You were here for Sweetheart Ball last month, and I'm only a junior so they'll be lots more dances next year, but a wedding happens only once. And Dad can even face time you during our pictures Saturday evening, which is the only part parents are involved in anyway."

All true. It will be a lovely weekend, no doubt.

Showing up. Even when the timing isn't perfect.