"Sometimes": A Poem for This Day

It has now been three days since my family gathered in our living room, ate Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, and watched as Joseph R. Biden and Kamala Harris were sworn in as President and Vice President of the United States of America. It was not a huge celebration, only Gerald and I, Shulamith, Isaiah, and Seth. Both Eli and Amanda had to work. 

As the five of us watched that morning, we once again felt pride in our nation. Our hearts were full as we witnessed the many traditions that surround the peaceful transition of power that defines our democracy.

For the first time in four years, we felt calm. And hopeful. There is no perfect person, and there is no perfect President, but President Biden has already proven to be a man of character. Has he made mistakes? Of course. Serious ones? Sure. But unlike his predecessor, he owns them. He is able to admit when he's wrong or when new information causes him to shift his perspective or change his position. He can listen to others and accept their counsel. 

His focus is outward, rather than on himself. An honest desire to serve, rather than a juvenile need to be admired, informs his decisions and fuels his actions. 

Our hope for this new administration is bold and it is brave, and that's a good thing. The despair that has plagued us for four years is now behind us, leaving plenty of room for optimism. I sensed that optimism in each of us as we watched together Wednesday morning.

One of my very favorite poems came to mind. May I share it with you today in honor of President Biden and Vice President Harris and the hope for better days ahead:

Sometimes

Sometimes things don't go, after all,

from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel

faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,

sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people sometimes will step back from war;

elect an honest man, decide they care

enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.

Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best efforts do not go

amiss, sometimes we do as we meant to.

The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow

that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you. 

                                       -Sheenagh Pugh

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These are a few of my favorite things!

I haven't talked about products I like in a long time, but I've definitely discovered some new, cool stuff in the past year, so I decided now is the time to share. I was gonna try to rank these five products in order of how much I like them, but I can't. They are all so different--apples and oranges really. They are all my favorites, just in different ways.

1. Portable seat warmer for my car. Backstory is Shulamith's minivan has a built-in seat warmer on both the driver's and front passenger's seats. Oh how I love to ride in her car in the cold winter mornings. It is the best thing ever to turn on those toasty seat warmers. So last year on my birthday, my kids gave me a portable seat warmer, and wow! It works every bit as well as the built-in ones in Shulamith's car. This is one of those times when I shook my head and thought, "Why didn't I find this a long time ago?"

2. Bona mop. We have laminate flooring throughout our new house; the only carpet is upstairs in the bedrooms. When we had our orientation before we moved in, the Edge representative explained like a million things about how to take care of the house (thank goodness Amanda was with me and took notes!). One thing he emphasized was that I purchase a Bona mop. Not any brand. Bona! I worried it might be super expensive, but no, about $30. It's the best mop I've ever used.  No cords to deal with. Easy pump spray. Large mop pad. It makes my dark brown flooring shine, and it's so easy to use. With the four of us here plus the dogs, I pull it out multiple times a day to spot clean. So great.

3. Beddy's. Have you heard about this company? I hadn't until Emily bought some bedding from them. So it's a bottom sheet, top sheet, and comforter all in one. It fits over the mattress much like a fitted sheet would and then zips up on both sides and around the bottom, kinda like a sleeping bag. They have all sorts of colors and patterns in both the "minky" if you want to be extra warm and the "cotton" for not so warm. I got cotton but plan to get a minky before next winter; right now I need an extra blanket on top. Best part: all you do to make the bed is zip it up! Your bed always looks nice, your bedroom tidy. And the whole thing goes right into the washing machine and dryer. I truly can't love this enough.

Is it expensive? A little. But...it's excellent quality, and if you were to buy quality fitted and flat sheets, pillow cases (they come with the Beddy's set), a comforter, and a duvet cover, you would spend at least as much if not more. Wanna see how it looks???

4. Pulse Oxygen Monitor. Okay, you may not ever actually need one of these, but if you do, it's the most reassuring product. As you know, our family recently experienced the COVID virus. Three of the four of us in the house us tested positive. COVID is scary even for non-anxiety folks; imagine what it did to me?!?! The day Seth tested positive, my friend Lorelei told me to get a Pulse Ox device to monitor our oxygen saturation levels. I was familiar with these monitors because our oldest son Luke had childhood asthma and was in and out of the hospital repeatedly in his first three years. When he was hospitalized, he always had an O2 sats monitor clipped on his finger, but back then, there weren't any we could take home. 

Last week, as we checked our oxygen saturation levels regularly, I could sleep knowing everyone was breathing fine. Every time I saw that 97 or 98% on the screen, I knew we were all okay. And I kept thinking how much grief this thing would have saved me when Luke was a baby and unable tell me when he was struggling to breathe.

5. Kortni Jeane Swimwear. Okay, ladies, tell me how you feel about wearing a swimsuit in public? Those who just said they love that experience can stop reading now. For most of us, swimsuits are necessary evils. In no other circumstance do we wear so little clothing or show so much skin out in public, right? Well, this particular line of swimwear is designed to help women of all sizes feel comfortable and confident in swimsuits, so they can play with their kids, run through the sprinkler, swim, water slide, and do all the fun summer water activities. Most styles are mix and match, so you can wear one top with several different bottoms and vice versa. There are dozens of cute fabric patterns and styles. The only problem is once you discover this product, you kinda become obsessed with swimsuits; you want every new style and color that comes out. 

This is definitely what happened to me. I LOVE these suits so much that I want all of them. I may or may not have 6.5 Kortni Jeane swimsuits, or "swimmers" as she likes to call them. I have six tops and seven bottoms, most of which are interchangeable. Recently, when I just had six of each, I placed a moratorium on my KJ swimsuit buying. "No more until next summer," I vowed. But then. Then, she had this special deal where you could get a classic, plain-colored bottom for just $16! I mean practically free, right? What was I to do? There was really no choice. So I got these cute navy bottoms that go with five of my six tops. But now I'm uneven. I think I really need another top. Help!!

Okay, not to ignore what you're all wondering about: price. This swimwear is beautifully made, but yes, it's a bit pricy. That said, she (Kortni) has all these different sales and promotions and fun games. For example, throughout October, she goes to various locations here in the valley and then announces where she is, and anyone who shows up within an hour wearing just a KJ swimsuit (in October!) gets a top or bottom for free. Anyway, I haven't done that yet because it didn't happen in 2020 for obvious reasons, but I plan to do it this year. So just FYI, of all my KJ swimsuits, I only paid full price for one. I was having a sucky day and needed some retail therapy, so I ordered a top and bottom at full price. I've gotten all the rest on sale.

So there you have it, my lovely friends: These are a few of my favorite things!

Remembering the "one": Reflections on our COVID Experience

Tonight ends my 10-day quarantine since my first (and only) COVID19 symptom, the loss of taste and smell, which lasted five days. In every other way, I felt perfectly healthy. I didn't have a fever or a cough. I wasn't tired or achy. I didn't have a headache or sore throat. I had none of the typical symptoms of this awful disease.

Halfway through the week, it occurred to me that I am the reason so many people dismiss this virus as "nothing" or "nothing more than the flu." I am the reason they downplay its danger and balk at mask mandates and social distancing. For me, it was nothing. The hardest part of the whole thing (other than eating bland food for five days) was staying home all the time when I wasn't even sick!

Clearly, I was one of the lucky ones. I was basically asymptomatic. Others in my family had some symptoms of illness: colds, coughs, body aches, headaches, mild fever, fatigue. But even they can be counted as lucky. No one had any respiratory distress. No one had to be hospitalized. No one died.

That's one of the challenges of this strange virus. Some people (like me) never get sick. Others die. And everything in between. The total unpredictability adds to its mystique. And to its terror.

I know the statistics. While most people infected with COVID aren't asymptomatic like I was, most experience the illness as the rest of my family did, with mild cold or flu-like symptoms. The vast majority recover just fine on their own at home. But not everyone. The elderly and those in other high risk groups often don't fare as well. And sometimes, even young, healthy folks don't. And there's no way to know ahead of time who will suffer severely and who won't. 

Therefore, it seems to me we have to do everything we can to protect everyone. We have to remember the "one," even if that "one" represents a statistically small number of the population. My 82-year-old mother, for example, matters. Her life matters as much as anyone else's. The best science has for us at this point is to protect ourselves and others by wearing a mask and social distancing in public places. Even with a vaccine on the horizon, it won't offer herd immunity quickly enough for us to let our guard down. We have to remain diligent. United we can control this; divided we cannot.

As we come to the end of our quarantine and COVID experience as a family, I am profoundly grateful for our health and that no one suffered any severe symptoms. Every night when I went to bed, I wondered, "Will this be the night I wake up struggling to breathe?" It was so scary. How much of this was rational fear and how much was anxiety I'll never know. I'm just thankful it's over.

Here's a picture of Gerald and me on Christmas, a week before any of this began. Gerald has spent the past 10 days asleep. Pretty much all the time. I keep wondering how we would have functioned had I been sick too. Who would have picked up groceries, cooked food, taken care of the dogs, reminded people to check their oxygen levels? So glad we didn't have to find out.

Stay well, everyone! Wear your masks properly. Stay distanced from others out in public. Please!

Theodore's Themes - Part III

 

32. Theodore was mad at Shulamith for some reason when they were driving in the car.

Theodore: Mommy, when I get home, I going to hit you. (And about an hour after they got home, he walked right up to her and did exactly that.)

33. Shulamith was cracking open a can of Diet Coke.

Theodore: Mommy, hold that Diet Coke with two hands!

34. Oftentimes Shulamith drives out to Bluffdale after dropping of her two big kids at school.

Theodore: Mom, are we going to Her's house now?

Shulamith: No, we are going to the store, then home.

Theodore: But Mom, Her is going to be so sad.

35. Theodore put his Build-a-Bear in Kennedy's car seat for their drive here to Bluffdale this morning.

Shulamith: Oh look, your bear is so happy in the car seat! He's even smiling.

Theodore: Actually, he is not smiling. He is just a stuffy.

36. Theodore wants to buy a car, every time we go to Target. They only cost a dollar, so Shulamith often lets him get one, but not always, and when she doesn't:

Theodore: See, it doesn't cost $100.

37. Theodore likes to go through the entire house and turn on every single light.

Shulamith: Theodore, you don't need to turn on all the lights.

Theodore: But Mommy, we need to see.

38. Theodore often has to ride in a stroller while Shulamith and I walk, and we often say we need to get out steps in (we both try to walk at least 10,000 steps every day).

Shulamith: Let's get ready to go for a walk.

Theodore: No, I don't want to do any steps today.

39. Shulamith was joking about how she killed their first dog, Kitty. She didn't. Kitty had a heart attack, all too common in Boxers. However, she was outside in the snow when it happened, so Shulamith worries that maybe the cold weather triggered her heart attack. We'll never know.

Shulamith: That was the year I killed Kitty.

Theodore: Oh no, Mommy! Don't kill her.

40. Theodore sometimes gets confused on the order of syllables, for example in the word "forgot."

Theodore: Mommy, you "gotfor" to read me a story.

41. Both Kennedy and Theodore have their soccer practices at the same time, but at totally different places, and Matt isn't off work yet, so Shulamith and I have been taking turns. This past week, Shulamith took Kennedy, and I was supposed to take Theodore, but before we could leave, Shulamith texted me that Theodore's coach emailed to say he was sick and canceling practice.

Me: Theodore, your coach is sick, so there is no soccer practice tonight. I'm sorry.

Theodore: (no response)

....later, when he was in the car with Shulamith...

Theodore: Mommy, Her is very mean. She didn't take me to my soccer game.

42. Shulamith and I were about to walk a loop around the block in our neighborhood.

Shulamith: Her and I are going for a quick walk. Swen, be sure to watch Theodore.

Theodore: And I will be sure to watch Swen.

43. Theodore really doesn't like spiders, and he thinks ants are also spiders. He was stomping an ant yesterday, over and over, but it was slow to die.

Theodore: It's not dead yet.

...stomp stomp stomp...

Still not dead.

...stomp stomp stomp...

There we go.

Now it died.

It not waking up.

44. Theodore woke up very, very early this morning. When Matt heard him, he got up to investigate and found Theodore crawling out of his room. Upon seeing Matt, he waved...

Theodore: I slept really fast.

45. Our pool opened last week, and Thursday it was 80 degrees, so we decided to swim. We all had our swimsuits on.

Theodore (looking at his stomach): I don't have a big tummy. (Looking at Shulamith): Mommy doesn't have a big tummy.

Shulamith: Who has a big tummy?

Theodore: Grandpa has a big tummy!

46. This morning Sbulamith gave Theodore a vitamin that happened to be red.

Theodore: Mommy, did you know that red is Her favorite color too?

47. I overheard Theodore having a full-on conversation with Siri. Couldn't hear Siri's responses, but Theodore was hilarious:

Theodore: Hi Siri! Can you hear me?

Siri: ______________.

Theodore: Can you play with me Siri?

Siri: ______________.

Theodore: Siri, would you be my friend?

Siri: ______________.

Theodore: I love you very, very much, Siri.

48. Me: Is that Woofie's new bone?

Theodore: Yeah.

Me: He seems to like it a lot! I should get one for Waffles.

Theodore: I can get a bone for my birthday and give it to you, so you can give it to Waffles.

49. Theodore: I hided your phone.

Shulamith: Why?

Theodore: Because I don't like the games on it.

50. Swen and Theodore have been fighting mercilessly lately. 

Theodore: I don't like Swen. I want him to go away.

Shulamith: Well, there are only five weeks left of summer, and then Swen and Kennedy will both go back to school. Then it will be just you and I during the day again.

Theodore: I want you to leave Swen at school forever.

Shulamith: Oh, I think you would miss him if we did that.

Theodore: I would NOT miss him. I want you to leave him there.

51. Shulamith ordered Swen some shoes for his baptism, using our Backcountry discount. They arrived today (too late for the baptism), and I brought them out to her car. As they drove away, Theodore was very quiet, until...

Theodore: Mommy, I really, really hate you and Her for getting shoes for Swen, and not for me.

52. Theodore: Why do you only buy stuff for Kennedy?

Shulamith (pushing a shopping cart containing a new leotard, tights, a pair of shorts, and a tank top, all for Kennedy): I don't just buy stuff for Kennedy.

Theodore (his hand palm up, moving from left to right to show all the things in the cart): Who are all these things for then?

Shulamith: Well, these are for Kennedy.

Theodore: See.

53, Theodore started preschool for the first time this month. We really thought he'd like it because he had been so excited to go, but he doesn't seem too impressed.

Theodore: I don't want to go to school today. I think it's kind of super boring.

54. Theodore got a new "big boy bed" when they moved into their new house back in February. His crib is being stored down in their basement, in case there is a Webster-Monson Baby #4 one day. 

Theodore (looking at his crib): I don't like my night night crib.

Shulamith: Why?

Theodore: Because I can't bet out of it. 

Shulamith: But we always got you out right when you woke up.

Theodore: But I like to get up by myself.

55. Theodore's preschool teacher thinks he has the cutest face.

Teacher: Theodore, you have the cutest face! Where did you get that face? Did you get it from your mommy?

Theodore: No.

Teacher: Did you get it from your daddy?

Theodore: No.

Teacher: Then where did you get it?

Theodore: I got my face from Jesus.

56. Theodore love to watch Shulamith's phone, but she doesn't want him staring at a screen 24/7. so she tries to find other things for him to do as well. As we were driving to a restaurant for lunch:

Theodore: Mommy, can I watch your phone?

Shulamith: Yes, but if you watch it in the car, you're gonna be "all done phone" when we're in the restaurant, okay?

Theodore: Okay.

We drove until the restaurant was in sight.

Theodore: Okay, I'm all done phone until we get inside the restaurant.

57. We were shopping for General Conference snacks!

Theodore: You need a cookie striped snack.

58. Theodore has a cousin in Matt's family who is just his age, and they are great friends. Last weekend they were at their grandparents' house and apparently trashed the basement with all their toys. Their grandpa asked them when they were going to clean up their mess in the basement. Theodore walked right over to Reuben, took both his hands, and looked straight into his eyes:

Theodore: Reuben, we do not want to clean up the basement.

59. Shulamith: Theodore, you need to eat breakfast.

Theodore: Why?

Shulamith: So you won't be hungry.

Theodore: Aren't we going to a food place after preschool?

(He obviously knows us well.)

60. So I picked Theodore up from preschool, and he had this toy metal airplane hidden in his shirt.

Me: What do you have in there, Theodore?

Theodore: An airplane.

Me: Were you supposed to take that home?

Theodore: Don't talk to me about that. My teacher will get mad at me.

Later...

Shulamith: Where did you get that airplane, Theodore?

Theodore: I hided it in my shirt, so no one could see it.

Later....

Shulamith: Where is that airplane, Theodore? We need to take it back to preschool.

Theodore: I put it in the bathtub and it went down the drain.

61. Theodore suddenly umped into Shulamith's unprepared arms, and she nearly dropped him.

Theodore: I didn't drip and die.

62. Today Theodore wanted a certain kind of granola bar, but they were out of them at Smith's.

Shulamith: Sorry, but they are out of those bars.

Theodore: That's why this is NOT the right store.

63. Me: Careful Theodore. I don't want Woofie to knock over my Diet Coke.

Theodore: But if he knocks it over, I will get you another one.

64. Theodore (when he heard my Ring Doorbell alert on my phone): Who is that? Did your grandma come to see you?

Me: No, my Grandma is dead.

Theodore: Who killeded her?

Me: No one killed her. When people get very old, they die and go live with Heavenly Father, and my grandma got very old.

Theodore: Yeah, and they also live with Jesus because Jesus loves everyone.

Me: That's right.

Theodore: I love Jesus!

65. Theodore and I are at his house waiting for Kennedy to get home from school, while Shulamith is at a doctor appointment with Swen. I'm sitting at Shulamith's desk in the flex room, so I'll see Kennedy right when she gets here.

Theodore: You can sit at Mommy's desk because she likes you.

66. Theodore: Ms. Dominica has her very own house, and she lives there. And she has a dog and a cat. At the same time.

Shulamith: At the same time?

Theodore: Yes, both.

67. Theodore and his friend Matthew like to play with foam swords and shields, which is all well and good until it turns violent.

Theodore (chasing Matthew): I will kill you. I will kill your husband and your wife and all your friends.

68. We were at McDonald's last week, and Theodore was in the play area chatting with some other kids.

Theodore: I have a brother. He's 10. He almost gets to drive a car!

Kennedy Says - Part 5

 

72. Kennedy opened a fortune cookie that said an admirer was thinking about her.

Kennedy: I don't have just one admirer. Three people have crushes on me.

73. Kennedy: I think I'm the smallest first grader of all time. But that's okay. It's just how I was made.

74. Kennedy (as she was tucked into bed last night): I'm just so excited for our new house, and I'm so glad I came to earth, and I'm in this family.

75. We celebrated Amanda's birthday last night, with her favorite: chocolate cake AND chocolate ice cream.

Kennedy: Does Her have any normal ice cream, like vanilla?

76. Kennedy continues to be by far the smallest in her class and probably in the entire 1st grade. She is perfectly healthy, just petite. 

Kennedy: Some boys were teasing me. They said I'm so small they could pick me up and use me as a hockey stick. 

Shulamith: How did that make you feel?

Kennedy: Sad. I don't want them to use me as a hockey stick.

Shulamith: Well, they won't. They were just teasing you.

Kennedy: I know. They probably couldn't even lift me.

77. At Kennedy's school, (like all elementary schools), there is a program that offers extrinsic rewards to students for good behavior. They earn points, and then they can choose what they want to spend them on. One choice that costs 25 points is to eat lunch with the teacher.

Kennedy: Why would anyone want to do that? It's so dumb. You just eat your lunch, but your teacher is there, so you don't get to talk to your friends. I can't believe so many kids chose that one.

78. Kennedy tends to be a bit of a perfectionist, something I understand all too well. So this incident made me (and my mom) laugh out loud. Kennedy has soccer practice on Wednesdays at 5:00 p.m. But last week, Shulamith and I (and Seth and Isaiah) had tickets to a Jazz game, our first in-person game since before COVID. Matt is never home from work by 5:00, so Shulamith told Kennedy she would miss her practice just this one week.

Shulamith: I'm going to be gone that night at a Jazz game, so you can miss this one practice. It's okay.

Kennedy (melting into sobs): Fine. I guess I'll just never get good at soccer.

(In the end, Kennedy was so distraught that Shulamith asked the kids' grandma if she could take Kennedy to her practice, and she did. Whew.)

79. Kennedy has played soccer this season and worked so hard! Her last game was yesterday, and she so badly wanted to score a goal.

Kennedy: I just need some courage today.

(She must have found that courage because she scored not one, not two, but THREE goals in her final game.)

80. Kennedy's dance recital was also yesterday. Beforehand, Shulamith was showing her videos of past recitals when she was younger, and in one, she was searching for the 'X' on the floor, where she was supposed to stand.

Shulamith: When you were little, you always worried so much about finding your 'X."

Kennedy: I still do! It's very important to me.

81. Kennedy is a true Webster girl and loves fashion and cute clothes. She also love surprises. Recently, Shulamith bought her some shorts and just left them out on her bed. She was thrilled. She told Shulamith how much she loves "surprise clothes." So the next week, I got her a new dress and left it on her bed. Later, she talked to Shulamith about it.

Kennedy: Her picks out the best surprise clothes. You should only buy me clothes when Her is with you.

82. Shulamith was jumping on the trampoline with Kennedy.

Kennedy: Mom, you are forgetting the most important part - pointing your toes!

83. Shulamith: Do you think maybe you should do something else now; you've been watching you phone for quite awhile?

Kennedy: Why?

Shulamith: Because it's not good for your brain to be watching a screen all day.

Kennedy: No, It's find. I still know stuff.

83. Swen is a bit obsessed these days with washing machines. Talks about them almost constantly.

Kennedy: Talking about washing machines all the time is actually a lot weirder than you think.

84. We took all three kids school shopping with money Great-Grandma sent for school clothes.

Me: You're gonna be the best dressed kids at Mountain Point Elementary.

Swen: Nope. We won't. We will be well dressed. But we won't be the "best" dressed kids.

Kennedy: Yeah. We are just a middle family.

85. Shulamith: I really shouldn't have to clean your room for you when you are the one who made the mess.

Kennedy: Moms are always servants.

86. Kennedy has been playing soccer this fall. She enjoys the social part, talking to all the other girls, but unlike dance and gymnastics, she doesn't exactly excel at soccer.

Kennedy: I don't like being crowded in that big group of girls running after the ball, so I just stay on the outside.

87. Speaking of gymnastics, Kennedy is getting stronger and better all the time. In her current class, she is ahead of the other girls, who have just started, so the coach often asks her to demonstrate the skill for them.

Me: Do you like it when your coach asks you to demonstrate for the other girls?

Kennedy: Actually, that's my favorite part.

88. Because we have several of us with mental health issues, we talk a a lot about brain chemistry. Swen knows that he has ADHD, which means his brain deals with things a bit differently than is typical.

Kennedy: Swen, I don't think your brain is weird; I just think you're weird.

89. Kennedy: Let's go to Seagull Book!

Shulamith: We can't. It's closed on Sunday.

Kennedy: But it's ABOUT Sunday.

(Note: Seagull Book is a bookstore here in Utah that sells church books, paintings, etc.)ome

90. Swen: Someday, when Dad is rich, maybe he can buy my own laundromat. 

Kennedy: Swen, Dad will never, ever be rich.

Swen-isms: Part V

 190. On TV, there was a romance (kissing) scene.

Swen: That is not a kiss; that is one lip eating another lip!

191. Swen has a good friend at school named "Nevaeh." Her parents named her that because it is "Heaven" spelled backwards. He was talking to his teacher, Ms. Pack.

Swen: Oh my Nevaeh!

Ms. Pack: What?

Swen: Nevaeh's name is "Heaven" spelled backwards. So instead of saying "Oh my Heaven!" I say, "Oh my Nevaeh!"

192. We were waiting in a McDonald's drive-thru line, and it was taking a really long time.

Swen: Ugh, why is this taking so long.

Shulamith: I don't know, Swen. It's annoying.

Swen: I know what happened. Some dumb lady up there probably dropped her food, and they have to wait for her to clean it all up. Ladies are usually the ones who drop their food. I've seen that a lot.

193. Swen: I have a stupid math test today.

Shulamith: It will be fine. Just do your best.

Swen: No. I hate math. I'm not going to do it.

Shulamith: Swen, you need to take the test and do your best.

Swen: No, I don't. I'm not going to do it. I'm just going to look at my color-changing, mechanical pencils.

194. Swen was mad at Shulamith for not buying him something or other. Shulamith went into the store, while Swen and I stayed in the car.

Swen: Her, one of your kids is an idiot. And that kid is Shulamith!

195. Swen: Mom spent $350 on a bench, but she wouldn't spend $3 on an Amonges (Pokemon card) for me because that is "SO expensive."

196. Eli was watching Shulamith's kids one afternoon, and when Shulamith got home, Swen had this to report.

Swen: Eli is a much better babysitter than Her. Because Her makes us buckle our seatbelts every time we go anywhere.

Eli: But, Swen, we didn't go anywhere. I would have made you wear your seatbelt too, if we did.

Swen: No you wouldn't have.

197. Swen: Her, you don't know anything about your life or your future.

198. Swen: Her, you're weirder than an 88-year-old person posting about their life on TikTok.

199. Swen has the opportunity to take band or orchestra next year when he is in 4th grade.

Shulamith: You might like band or orchestra, Swen. You could play the clarinet or violin or drums.

Swen: I will not do it because you have to be in concerts. I don't like people looking at me and saying "good job."

Shulamith: We could tell people not to say that to you.

Swen: No. They would still be looking at me and thinking "Good job."

200. Shulamith was joking about Matt, who likes to take his time making purchasing decisions, when she is eager to get her new house furnished. 

Shulamith: I'd like to buy that chair, but Dad probably won't like it because he's dumb.

Swen: Maybe you should marry another person who isn't so dumb.

Shulamith: Okay, let's go find me a new husband.

Swen: That could be harder than you think.

Shulamith: Why?

Swen: Because you won't know if he's already married or not.

201. Given the choice, Swen would eat Oh's cereal for all three meals and snacks.

Shulamith: No, you've already had three bowls of Oh's today; you need to eat something else.

Swen: Why do you make life so challenging?

202. Swen: I need you to set up my game on the PlayStation.

Shulamith: I don't know how to do that; you'll need to ask Dad.

Swen: You've known Dad your whole life. He should have taught you how to do this by now.

Shulamith: Not my whole life. Only 11 years.

Swen: Well that's plenty of time to learn how to set up a PlayStation game.

203. I was going over to Shulamith's house to stay with her kids while she and Matt went to a play.

Shulamith: Her will let you watch a movie.

Swen: Well, get it set up before you leave. Her doesn't know how to set up a TV. She's kinda dumb.

204. There is this thing at Swen and Kennedy's school called a "Puma Prize" (the puma is the school's mascot). There are a bunch of things kids need to complete in order to earn it, and of course, Kennedy is all over it. 

Shulamith: Swen, do you have a list of things to do so you can earn the Puma Prize? You should bring it home, so we can work on it.

Swen: No, I just shoved it in my desk like I do all the other papers.

205. I've been slowly decorated my new house, and I hung two things together in my entryway hall, a picture of the empty tomb and a sign that says, "I Will Always Be with You."

Swen (pointing to the picture): What is that picture?

Me: It's the empty tomb from when Jesus was resurrected. 

Swen: Is it the real one?

Me: No, I don't think it's the real one.

Swen: Why would you hang up a picture of something that isn't even the real one?

206. Shulamith was recently called to lead the boys' activity days in our ward. That means she plans activities for the boys who are 8 - 11 years old every other week. When she first told Swen about this, he was excited to have her with him, but then:

Swen: But Mommy, I don't think you will know what to do for activity days.

207. On the last day of school, Shulamith bought Swiss Rolls as a special treat for Swen and Kennedy.

Swen: We went through 180 days of school just for a Swiss Roll. that's the best you could do?

208. Swen likes to come with Shulamith and me on our morning walks, and he always insists that I take Waffles. Waffles is a terrible dog when it comes to walking on a leash. He pulls me along relentlessly; it's uncomfortable and not fun. Shulamith's dog, Woof, in contrast, walks happily along (unless he happens to see another dog, or a construction worker, or a loud construction vehicle, or just about anything). On a different topic, Seth's birthday celebration is tomorrow, but Seth skipped Swen's birthday last month to hang out with friends, so Swen says he's not going to Seth's party. Isaiah always attends Shulamith's kids' birthday parties, however.

Swen: Isaiah is as smart as Woof, and Seth is as dumb as Waffles.

209. Apparently, large heads are part of the genetics of Matt's family. Swen was struggling to get a shirt over his head.

Swen: Ugh, this shirt is too hard to get off!

Shulamith: Sorry, bud, Monsons tend to have larger-than-average heads, and you inherited this tendency.

Swen: When I get married, I'm going to have my wife's name, so I'm not a Monson anymore.

210. Talking about something in their house, Swen mentioned the "sexy room."

Swen: I think it's in the sexy room.

Shulamith: What???

Swen: The sexy room. Where the piano is.

Shulamith: Oh, you mean the flex room. 

211. Swen, Kennedy, Theodore, and I were in our swimsuits with pool bags and toys in hand, when Seth called me to say he ran out of gas.

Me: Sorry, we have to go rescue Seth before we go swimming.

Swen: No, we don't need to go rescue Seth. Just tell him to call the police or something.

212. Swen's phone broke, and he was very upset about it. I could not make it work.

Swen: Fix it!!! You're a grown-up. You've been to college. You should be able to fix things.

213. Swen was across the street at his friend Jack's house. Jack has to do chores before he can play, and he was washing the dishes. When Swen came home, he had this to report:

Swen: Jack's house has so many dishes piled way high. It's like in a cartoon, they're piled up so high!

214. Swen (frustrated with Theodore): I don't want any babies. Most You-tubers don't any babies. I wish I was them.

215. When Shulamith leaves Swen home alone for brief periods, she always FaceTimes him to make sure he's okay. He doesn't like this.

Swen (when Mom Face-Timed him): Stop wasting my time.

216. All three kids were fighting over who would get the first drink of Mom's Diet Coke.

Shulamith: STOP fighting over the first drink.

Swen: Mommy, I'll stop fighting about the first drink if you just give me the first drink.

217. Swen: Why don't you like Lamborghinis, Her?

Me: Because I just don't care that much about cars.

Swen: Do you just not like them because they don't have cup holders for your Diet Coke?

218. Shulamith: Swen, do you think we should have another baby?

Swen: No, you'll be too old, so the baby will have to go to a foster mom.

219. Swen and Kennedy and Theodore were playing "dogs." Swen was pretending to be the dog, and Kennedy was feeding him and giving him water.

Swen: (crawling inside on hands and knees like a dog): Her, I went to the bathroom outside.

Me: Why would you do such a thing?

Swen: Because that's what dogs do.

220. Swen has chosen to be baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints this weekend.

Swen: I am very excited that my baptism is in two days. Are you excited, Her?

Me: Yes!! I am SO excited.

Swen: But some people might cry and say stupid things to me.

Me: I promise I won't cry or say stupid things, Swen.

Swen: I know you won't, Her. I trust you.

221. Amanda is now 24 weeks pregnant with her first child, and it has been a challenging pregnancy for her. Baby girl is fine, growing perfectly, but poor Amanda has been nauseous for most of the pregnancy and in pain for much of it as well. As a result, she's been a bit frustrated with this little person inside of her who is making her so sick, and she was talking about that recently.

Swen: Amanda, did you not want a baby?

Later, talking to his mom...

Swen: Is my diabetes harder or is Amanda's baby harder? (meaning her pregnancy)

222. I get to serve weekly in the temple as an ordinance worker, but this week I substituted for an additional shift.

Swen: Where's Her? And please don't tell me she's in the temple again.

Shulamith: Yes, Her is in the temple again today.

Swen: Ugh! Why is Her always in the temple?

223. I was in Colombia the past week, and Swen missed me a lot, and I missed him too. Before I left, when he asked why I was going, I said something like "Well, Gerald loves South America, so he really wants me to go there with him." While I was there, I FaceTimed with Swen a couple times:

Swen: I am so mad at Gerald for making you go so far away for a long time. Are you mad at him too?

224. Swen likes to make up words and phrases that aren't real and mean nothing and then make us all use them as though they were real. (I did the same thing as a kid, so it makes perfect sense to me.) For example, recently he's talking about how various things "get the thinkin'.

Swen: Does your washing machine get the thinkin'?

Me: No, it doesn't.

Swen: Does your cell phone get the thinkin'?

Me: No, Swen.

Swen: Does your Diet Coke get the thinkin'?

Me: Noooooo!

Swen: Does your red van get the thinkin'?

Me: HELP!

225. Recently, Shulamith's internet access was down for a couple days due to a circuit breaker issue.

Swen: Having no internet for two days is WAY worse than Diabetes.

226. Swen: I hate it that my head is the shape of an oval. I want a round head like Kennedy's. 

227. There's been some "bus drama" in the neighborhood recently. One mom in particular tends to yell at the other moms and accuse their kids of picking on her kids. One day when she was yelling at Shulamith and our friend Carolynn...

Swen: Mom, is she being a "Karen"?

Shulamith: Yeah, she kinda is.

228. Shulamith: Swen, I'd like you to try to go an entire day without telling us you hate us and that we're the worst parents.

Swen: A whole day? Mom, I really don't think I can do that.

229. Swen is very interested in laundry and washing machines and dryers. Last week, Shulamith and Matt got a new dryer to replace their old one that no longer dried clothes. They kept it a surprise from Swen, until he came home from school.

Swen: Mom, can I sleep in here tonight [in the laundry room], so I can just look at this dryer?

Shulamith: No. You have to sleep in your bed. But you can bring a blanket in here this afternoon and relax next to if if you want to.

Swen: Yes! I'll do that.

Swen: Mom, what do you like best about your new dryer? The steaming or the sanitizing?

230. Swen came over to clean my laundry room today. He wiped down the washing machine and dryer and took out the plastic container where the detergent goes.

Swen: This is the detergent slot. Mold can grow in it if you don't clean it regularly. Don't worry, I know how to put it back. I watched videos about it.  

231. Today when Swen was here cleaning my laundry room, he also helped me charge my new mouse and my candle lighter. I wasn't sure how to do either. 

Swen: Her, I know this is a new thing to you. It's called "Plugging in items." 

232. Also, when he was here today, he was looking at all the crap on Gerald's cart. 

Me: Swen, what are you doing over there?

Swen: I'm just looking. It's Gerald's random stuff of randomness. 

233. Following is a conversation between Swen and his sister Kennedy about school,

Swen: Do you ever get in trouble at school? Like do you have to put your head down?

Kennedy: No! I would never do anything to get in trouble. I always listen to the teacher and follow every rule. Do you get in trouble at school?

Swen: Yeah, I have to put my head down all the time. It's really no big deal. I feel just fine about it.

234. Swen's 4th grade teacher has a sign on her door that reads, "Do Your Best and Forget the Rest," and they even sing a song at the end of each day about doing your best and how that's all they need to do.

Swen: I don't know why Ms. Despain has the sign up on the door. She doesn't follow it at all. I do my best, but she NEVER lets me forget the rest. She makes me take the work I don't finish home and do it there. She does not follow her sign.

235. Swen has been on Fall Break the past week, and he really likes it. Last night he was lamenting the fact that he'd have to go back to school, and he was very unhappy that Theodore wouldn't have to go because Theodore's preschool is only Tues./Thurs.

Swen: Theodore is so lucky. I have to go to school tomorrow and use my brain, and he gets to stay hone and just use his eyes and his kidneys.

236. One day a couple weeks ago, Shulamith forgot to give Swen his ADHD medication, which means a crazy cool, but out-of-control Swen! Shulamith happened to be at the school that day, at both Swen's and Kennedy's Halloween parties.

Ms. Despain (Swen's teacher): Did you happen to forget his medication today?

Shulamith: Oh dang, yes I did. How could you tell?

Ms. Despain: Haha, it's pretty obvious. 

Swen: Amy was being mean to me.

Ms. Despain: But Swen, you called her an "oversized load."

Swen: Because she was being so mean.

Ms. Despain: But still, Swen, it's not okay to call someone an "oversized load."

Swen: Well she IS an "oversized load." 

237. On Thanksgiving, Shulamith said she was thankful for her family. 

Swen: Is that what we do on Thanksgiving? Say what we're thankful for? I'm thankful that I have diabetes instead of cancer.

238. Swen's teacher, Ms. Despain, was gone for a week because she was exposed to COVID. On Monday, Swen did NOT like the sub, so he wrote a note to Ms. Despain on his math paper:

"Dear Ms. Despain. PLEASE find us a better sub!"

239. On the last day of school, Shulamith got a text from Swen's teacher: "Hi, just FYI, Swen told me he didn't take is ADHD medication this morning be cause he wanted to be a "crazy guy" today."

240. Swen really likes vacuum cleaners. When I got a new one recently, he came over and vacuumed my whole house.

Swen: Oh Her, you are so lucky to have this vacuum. 

241. Swen (the future missionary) was at a friend's house recently. We'll call him James.

Swen: James doesn't know what "repent" means.

Me: Oh really?

Swen: Yes, so I explained to to him.

Me: What did you tell him?

Swen: I told him when we do stuff wrong, we can tell Heavenly Father we're sorry, and Jesus will forgive us.

242. Swen slept at my house last week, and woke up at 8:20 a.m., at least two hours after he usually wakes up. 

Swen: Her, I sleep so good in your bed!

243. I have some Willow Tree figurines on a shelf in my living room. One is a couple, and another is a mother with a baby. Swen rearranged them and put the couple on one side of the shelf and the mother and baby on the other side.

Me: Swen, why did you move my people around?

Swen: Because he's cheating on her, so they have to be far apart.

244. Swen (in a recent conversation with Shulamith): Mom, I really love Her. Sometimes I yell at her, but I still really love her.

When I wake up and can't taste my Diet Coke. Uh oh!

Just nine days ago, I wrote my Christmas post, in which I expressed gratitude that my immediate family had avoided the COVID19 virus that has wreaked havoc on so many this past year. 

I spoke too soon.

I awoke Friday morning to a text message from Seth, who was in his room down the hall. He said he had a sore throat and slight cough and had already called Chick-fil-A to say he wouldn't be at work. He also asked me if I wanted him to isolate in his room. Uh, yep! "Stay put, and I'll deliver food and drink outside your bedroom door. I'll also put a thermometer there, so you can check your temperature." 

He did not have a fever and felt totally fine other than the sore throat and mild cough. "Must be just a regular cold," I thought, but I started looking into COVID testing just the same. Because it was New Year's Day, I couldn't find a site that offered rapid test results until Saturday morning, so we kept Seth in his room all Friday just to be safe. Saturday morning, he drove downtown and waited in a long line of cars to get his rapid nasal swab COVID test, which we totally expected to be negative because he was barely sick at all! But before he even had time to drive home from downtown, the result came back positive. Eeeeek!

Here we are, three days later:

Seth - Still has mild cough. No fever or fatigue. Sore throat is gone. Lost sense of taste and smell. Chillin' in his room playing video games and watching Hulu. FaceTiming with friends, sometimes even with me when he's really bored. 

Isaiah - No symptoms at all. No test results yet. Hibernating in his room hoping to avoid this. 

Gerald - Tested positive yesterday. Low-grade fever, aches, cough, general feeling of malaise. 

Me - Well, here's the thing. I feel fine, 100% healthy in every way. But Sunday morning, when I cracked open a Diet Coke, it tasted, well....that's the thing; it didn't taste at all. It's like I was drinking carbonated water. Then I noticed that I couldn't smell anything either. Uh oh! I didn't escape this thing after all. Every day I wonder if this will be the day I wake with symptoms, but so far, no. I did a saliva test yesterday and don't have the results yet, but I'd be shocked if they weren't positive. Even my crazy anxiety brain can't dream up another illness that causes the total loss of taste and smell.

So this all sucks. For sure. It's triggered my anxiety in every way possible; worries for my family's health and my own are all-consuming. That said, as in all things, it helps to look for the grace, to find the reasons to be thankful, so here goes:

1. This happened now and not 10 days ago. We got to celebrate a lovely Christmas.

2. So far, everyone has manageable, non-life threatening symptoms.

3. We have been extremely careful all along about masks and social distancing, so the chance we have spread this to others is small. Most likely, Seth brought it home from Chick-fil-A.

4. I have a kind, online friend (we've met just once in person), who is a registered nurse in Pennsylvania and who recently had the COVID virus, herself. She has been chatting with me in the evenings, when my anxiety tends to spike, giving me solid, reliable information and advice. Thank you, Lorelei!

5. Modern technology provides a little gadget called a Pulse Oxygen monitor, allowing us to test our oxygen saturation levels regularly. This is wonderfully reassuring when we see our numbers up in the high 90s where they belong.

6. If my test results come back positive today, I can quit isolating from Seth and Gerald. That will make life a bit easier.

Stay safe and well, everyone. 

New Paths to Walk

 

Today begins a new year, 2021. For many, 2020 was filled with hardship: physical, emotional, psychological, financial, or some combination of those. The shutdown in March left people out of work, with no way to provide for their families. Parents, who never dreamed they would be, were suddenly homeschooling their children, in many cases, while they simultaneously tried to do their own jobs from home. We all assumed this would be short lived, right? Had we been told back then that as 2020 became 2021, we would still be held in the wicked grip of this virus, how many of us would have believed it? Yet here we are. 

The worst part, for me, has been the fear, fear of other human beings. My natural tendency is to welcome people openly, to get close enough to engage in conversation, even with people I don't know. COVID has turned me into a pseudo-introvert, which couldn't be any further from my natural personality. Even wearing a mask, I won't go near anyone who is not in my little family bubble. Many of you know about my ridiculous (but painfully real) anxiety disorder that specifies to irrational fear of fatal diseases. Enter COVID-19. Oh. My. Goodness. Paranoid does not begin to describe it.

Today I look forward to a new year, with new paths to walk, both literally and figuratively. Above is a picture of my walk a couple mornings ago in my new neighborhood. It was cold, but not freezing. It's almost always windy here in the Bluffdale wilderness, but that morning the air was still and the sun shone brightly all around. I have felt a bit displaced since we moved, especially with Shulamith still stuck in Midvale. It's hard to describe. I kinda feel like I'm on vacation in an Airbnb and I'll be returning to Angel House any day now. But that morning, as I walked through all the construction and then up that hill and back around to our house, I felt a little more at home. "We will be happy here," I thought.

We will also walk new figurative paths in 2021. With a little luck, one of those will include an effective vaccine to protect us from this wretched virus that has caused so much pain and fear and chaos. We've been told that teachers will have access to the vaccine this month. I can hardly wait! I pray that everyone who can will choose to be vaccinated. Together, let's create that herd immunity, so lives can be saved and so we can return to a more normal life. Just think of how it will feel to hug our friends again, to gather in groups to celebrate important events, to enjoy meals in restaurants, to fly to Portland to visit our families (okay, that one is just for me, but this is my blog after all). 

In just 20 days, we will also walk the path of a new administration. President-elect Biden and Vice President-elect Harris give me hope. As we emerge from the darkness and despair of the past four years, may we link arms and walk the path of decency, of humanity, and of grace. Fueled by the resiliency of the human spirit, we will walk these new paths bravely, facing the challenges that lie ahead. And yes, there will be challenges. The hope of 2021 is not for a perfect year with no obstacles. So many "Farewell 2020" memes have graced social media this past week. I have laughed and cried and been entertained. Perhaps my favorite is one is this:

Dear 2021,

You have literally been handed the easiest job in history. You don't need to be the best year ever. You don't even need to be Top 20. You have one effing job. Be better than 2020. Try not to mess that up.

Sincerely, 

Everybody

Yep, just better than 2020. I know you can do it. I have faith in you. 

Heads held high, my friends. We've got this. Welcome to 2021, with new paths to walk.