The Itsy-Bitsy Spider

The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.

Down came the rain and washed the spider out.

Out came the sun and dried up all the rain,

And the itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

Isn't life ironic? Sunday was to be a positively lovely day, even lovelier than most regular Sundays. Why? Instead of having to be at church at 9:00 a.m. as usual, we could set no alarm, sleep late, and wake on our own, perfectly rested. Sunday was the dedication of the brand new Brigham City, Utah Temple, the 139th temple in the world. Consequently, all stakes in Utah cancelled their meetings that day (including Primary - hallelujah!), so that members might attend one of three live broadcasts of the temple dedication ceremony, either at 9:00, 12:00, or 3:00. No one in our family would consider going at 9:00, given the choice. Wait...I lied. Gerald would most certainly go at 9:00 if he were on his own. But the rest of us? No way! Now we do love early mornings. We really do. We are "morning" people. It's just that what we like to DO in the early mornings is SLEEP. Yeah.

So we decided that Shulamith and Matt would attend the 12:00 session, and I would stay home with their baby. Then Gerald and Seth and I would attend at 3:00. That was the plan, and a good one it was. They left at 11:30. The stake center is just minutes from our house, but we were asked to be there 1/2 hour early. They sat near the door, in case little Swen decided he wanted his mommy. He didn't. We happily entertained ourselves rocking in a chair and singing Swen's favorite song, "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider." Okay, it might not be his absolute favorite. It might be tied with "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree." But it's definitely up there. He loves it when I do the hand motions, and he loves it even more when I help him do the hand motions. He was all giggles and smiles.

It's such a sweet little story about a cute, and totally harmless, spider making its way up a water spout, only to be washed away by the rain. Hope springs eternal, and soon the sun comes out, and that determined little spider climbs right back up that spout. What could be more endearing, right?

Well let me just tell you about that. After we returned from the 3:00 temple dedication ceremony, we settled in for the closure of what had been a nearly perfect day. Salmon was thawing in the fridge. I thought I might treat myself to a nap, or better yet, maybe I would blog! As I sat in my recliner and was about to grab my laptop, my cell rang. I didn't recognize the number or even the area code, but something said "answer," so I did. "Hello, Sister Webster? This is Sister Smith in Arkansas. Now I don't want you to panic, but I'm in the emergency room with your son." WHAT?! Not panic? This overly-anxious, OCD, completely over-the-top crazy mom? Surprisingly, I stayed reasonably calm and spoke in a tone which was a cross between a whisper and a gasp, "What happened?" Sweet Sister Smith explained that Eli had been bit by a spider.

A spider? Like the itsy-bitsy spider Swen and I were just singing about earlier? The bite had caused a large area of his stomach to become red, hard, and swollen, and Sister Smith decided Eli needed to be seen by a doctor. Thank you, Sister Smith! I will never be able to express sufficient gratitude for your help in this situation. I have never met you, but I love you. She assured me Eli was okay; she just needed our insurance information and Eli's social security number. I hurried to find these things for her and then hung up the phone and began to wait.

And wait. And wait. And wait. My peaceful Sunday wasn't quite so peaceful anymore. I tried to focus on other things, but my anxiety at that point allowed me to do little more than sit in my chair and pray for Eli, as I waited for a report from Sister Smith. It took about three hours. You and I both know what it's like in hospital emergency rooms. Nothing happens quickly. I kept reminding myself of this, but of course my imagination ran wild. What if he died from anaphylactic shock, and no one told us because they were trying to contact someone from the ward here to tell us in person? No, I'm not kidding. That was exactly where my mind went. Three hours is a long time.

Just as soon as she could, Sister Smith was on Facebook, messaging me with news. The doc gave Eli both antibiotics and anti-inflammatory pain meds. While it was impossible to know for certain, based on the symptoms, it was likely a Brown Recluse Spider bite. The medication should do the trick, and Eli should be all well in 2 - 3 days, the doctor said. Whew. Relief. What utter relief.

This all happened at a somewhat monumental time. As of this week, Elder Webster has been out on his mission six months, so he is now 1/4 finished. From his perspective, it has flown by. He says he feels like he just left. He loves his mission more than anything. I have truly never seen him happier, and that says a lot, because Eli is one of the happiest people I know. From my perspective, on the other hand, it's been a long six months. In my experience, other people's kids' missions go by fast. Our own kids? Not so much. Eli has spent all six months in a tiny, isolated town called Blytheville, with one ward that has about 40 active members, including children. He has loved it there. Everything about it. He has formed lifelong relationships. And the Lord has blessed him and the area with four baptisms. Here is a picture of one of those:

As much as he loves Blytheville, he fully expects to be transferred next week, though he won't know for sure until Monday. He feels sad about that, but of course that is the reality of missionary work. It will be good for him to serve in a different part of the mission if that's what happens. Wherever he goes, Swen and I are praying that the only kind of spiders he meets there are the itsy-bitsy ones.

"Try Though I May, I Can't Understand Liberalism. Can You Explain It To Me?"

A friend recently asked me to explain my political ideology to her. She said that try though she may, she cannot understand liberalism or why anyone would support President Obama. I have the utmost respect for this particular friend; I believe her request was absolutely genuine. So I tried my best to explain my beliefs to her. Here is what I wrote:

Hello,

Sorry it has taken me a few days to reply to this. I wanted to have a decent block of time to to attempt to answer your question. First, I don't consider myself the spokesperson for liberalism or for the Democratic Party or for Obama supporters, although I'm proud to be part of all three groups. I am not well enough informed on ALL the issues to be the voice of our ideology. Gerald is far more knowledgeable than I am because he is a self-professed "political junkie." However, you did not ask him; you asked me. So I'll try my best to tell you what I know and believe, because you asked. I should also say that as baffled as you are by liberalism, I am equally baffled by conservatism. I truly don't understand how regular people (normal middle class Americans) could possibly support the proposed policies of Governor Romney. So you and I have that in common. We are both mystified by the other's beliefs.

When I think about politics, I tend to separate issues into four main groups: domestic issues, foreign policy, economic issues, and social concerns. These overlap, of course, but my brain does better when I consider them individually. Regarding domestic policies, unlike conservatives, I believe government should have a role. While it would be great if all people had family members and churches to help them, that is not the case. It is our responsibility to help the needy and the underprivileged. In a country as prosperous as ours, it is an atrocity for anyone ever to go to bed hungry or without adequate shelter. We are the only developed nation in the world where people have to be frightened of their medical bills. That is not okay with me. Healthcare is a basic human right, just like food and shelter. Conservatives like to use the buzzword "entitlements," as though it is a terrible thing. It isn't. As Heavenly Father's children, we are indeed entitled to food, shelter, and healthcare.

This crosses over into social issues. Conservatives often have disdain for welfare abuse and, therefore, oppose welfare and all social programs. As long as there is aid for the needy, some WILL abuse the system. That's because people have their agency. And that's between them and God. It's not my issue. But to throw out welfare (and other social programs that aid the poor) because some people abuse it is beyond ridiculous. Pure love demands that we take care of our citizens. It is an embarrassment to our great nation when we let its citizens (and their children) starve. As for other social issues, there are many. I will address some of the most commonly disputed.

The right of women to make their own healthcare choices, including safe abortion, is always a huge issue. For sure, I'm no fan of abortion. It is the saddest thing. I can't think of a circumstance other than to save my own life (so I may continue to be a mother to my already-born children) that would cause me to choose to have an abortion. However, it is not my right to force my viewpoint upon all women. Instead, I would fund programs to educate women about effective contraception and make it available to all. I would make sex education more comprehensive in schools, rather than abstinence-only curricula, which is both naive and ineffective. I would continue to fund programs for single mothers, so they have a chance for a strong education, giving them the opportunity to provide a decent life for their children. I would fund solid, professional counseling for young pregnant women, so they might choose to continue their pregnancies and give life to their babies, without it defeating them and ruining their own lives. But in the end, I am still pro-choice. The right to safe, legal abortion in the first trimester must be protected.

Gun control and capital punishment are other topics of interest that tend to divide liberals from conservatives. I favor the strictest gun control laws possible under the U.S. Constitution. Allowing folks to go out and buy a hand gun that is designed with the single purpose to kill people, and to do so without proper documentation and without any wait time, is possibly the most irresponsible act I can imagine. Capital punishment, though not currently in the forefront of political discussion, is my personal "soap box" issue, so I won't leave it out. We are the only developed nation in the world that still kills its own citizens. How very sad. There is no place for this barbaric practice, which dehumanizes society and disregards and disrespects us like nothing else.

As for foreign policy, I believe that war must always be our very last resort. Neither war that was instigated during the Bush years (and that we are still trying to escape but paying for nonetheless) was justified. Republicans complain about the deficit. I have little sympathy when it's clear that by far the greatest majority of that debt was used to fund two ridiculous wars that we never belonged in. I'm not a pure pacifist. If someone comes through my door and tries to hurt my babies, I'm pretty sure I'll do anything to protect them. But fighting a war in Iraq over oil was both unjustified and immoral. We need to coexist peacefully with other countries, not present a "tough guy" attitude that repulses people. Arrogance never accomplishes anything.

Regarding economics, I don't claim to be an expert. However, I know for sure that everyone needs to pay his or her fair share of taxes to fund the programs I discussed above and also so we may have fire and police protection, quality education, good roads, etc. Governor Romney has been slow to produce his tax returns, but if I remember correctly, he finally released 2011, which showed he paid around 14% in income tax and Social Security. Gerald and I, who earn far less, paid a higher percentage. This is NOT okay with me. Not at all. Tax cuts for the wealthiest 1% only help the wealthiest 1%. The burden is repeatedly placed on the middle class. The only way to economic stability and prosperity is to build a strong middle class. And that's what the President is trying to do, though he finds himself blocked by the GOP Congress over and over. I don't agree with every policy of President Obama, but I'm proud of what he has accomplished. He was left with a giant mess after eight years of the Bush administration. My hope is that he will be reelected and that congress will be willing to work with him toward economic recovery. When he was elected in 2008, many Republicans in congress said it was their #1 goal to make him a one-term president. If that was their #1 goal, no wonder they refused to unite with him to solve problems. Once he is reelected, that can no longer be their #1 goal, obviously. So perhaps they will be able to put the needs of the county ahead of their hatred for the President and get down to work.

I really hope this was helpful to you. For what it's worth, I love you and care about you as a friend, and differing politics could never change that. So many of my best friends are conservatives. I think it's a demonstration of grace and maturity when people with different views can respect each other and appreciate each other for the intelligent, worthy individuals they are. Those who can't do that truly miss out.

Terrianne

On My Nerves

So just a couple of things are seriously getting on my nerves today.

First, Facebook Scrabble, which has got to be the most unreliable program ever. Either it doesn't work at all, or it pretends to work but then tells me my word "cannot be checked" when I try to play. Grrr!

Second, Governor Romney's utter disdain for nearly half the citizens of the country for which he hopes to become President:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnB0NZzl5HA&feature=share

Seriously getting on my nerves.

My Brain Is Honey

No, not literally. But it sure feels like it, all thanks to this new computerized course management program called BrainHoney. Yes, that's really its name. And true to its name, it turns my brain into sticky goo. I guess the program is not really that new; BYU-Idaho has been using it for a few years already. But LDSBC just adopted it last year and made it mandatory this fall. All courses must be on BrainHoney. Including mine. Now I should tell you that I have been labeled a "technophobe" by people close to me. And they might be right. But just sayin'...those very people who call me that are equally terrified of trying to learn new things that they're not naturally good at. We all have our strengths. Learning new computer programs is not one of mine.

The learning curve is just so incredibly steep. Blah! And sitting through training sessions, in which the presenter stands up in front of the room and demonstrates how to navigate through the program, is not even a little bit helpful. Remember, I'm an auditory learner. I need to talk through a process while actually doing it, or I learn nothing. So I learned nothing in the 2-hour training session I attended. And now, sink or swim, the semester has begun. My students look to BrainHoney to tell them how to prepare for class each day. They look there to find any documents they might need and to check their grades. They look there to find assignments and due dates. When they look, it's my job to make sure they find something that makes sense and truly reflects the content of the course. Help!

As of yesterday, they could see the syllabus and course schedule. Yippee! But when they tried to find two links to documents, which I'm certain I had pasted in, they could not. Frustrated, I had to print out hard copies for every student in the class. They needed these documents. What else could I do? I know, this whole thing is supposed to make for a nearly paperless course, and ultimately less work for me, but thus far it has created just the opposite in both cases.

But Monday begins a new week. I'm trying to stay hopeful. I spent two hours Friday morning with one of the kind and patient BrainHoney assistants, and she walked me through the process of pasting links into the daily lesson plan. We did all of them for this coming week. They seem to be there. But will my students be able to see them? Do you believe in miracles? And I haven't even looked at the grade book. Appointment with one of the assistants to show me that this Wednesday. Wish my honey brain lots of luck.

I have amended a Russian proverb to fit my needs:

"If you go to war pray once; if you go on a sea journey pray twice; but pray three times if you are attempting to learn BrainHoney."

Meeting Olivia...It Was Worth the Wait!

I finally got to meet Olivia. I had to wait 3-1/2 months. That wasn't the plan, but life doesn't always cooperate with my plans, regardless of how well devised they are. My friend Lindsey was due to deliver her fourth baby June 2nd. Shulamith wasn't due until June 26th. Perfect, I thought! Lindsey usually delivers a few days early; Hanna was scheduled to be induced on my birthday, Oct. 20th, but refused to be told what to do and made her appearance on the 17th, nearly four years ago. My plan seemed flawless. Lindsey would have her baby girl sometime in late May, giving me plenty of time to go to Rexburg and meet her, long before Shulamith would be even close.

Or not.

As it turned out, Olivia Faith Mecham was born on May 22nd, and before I could even think about getting up to Rexburg, Swen was born on May 26th. They are just four days apart! We're pretty sure they'll get married one day, but that's a whole different blog. Anyway, the three months following are a blur. A happy blur, but a blur nonetheless. My life was consumed with taking care of Shulamith, who was recovering from both HELLP Syndrome and a C-section, and helping her and Matt take care of a tiny, tiny newborn. And the days and weeks flew by.

Now both babies are over three months old, and I decided it was time to go to Rexburg to meet Olivia. I hadn't seen Lindsey and her family in five months, since way back when they were here for Eli's farewell. I missed them. Lots. Still, the idea of leaving Swen for two whole days was more than a little bit foreboding. How could I not hold him for 48 hours? Well, let me just say it wasn't easy. Shulamith sent me pictures throughout the weekend, and of course holding little Olivia helped. She is adorable. Just see for yourself:

In addition, Emma, Jase, and Hanna happen to be three of my most favorite people in the history of ever, so yeah, it was pure delight getting to hang with them. May I share some of our conversations?
I was playing Duudle, and losing of course. Emma volunteered to help. We got the word "fish tank." I did my best, drawing a rectangle with something resembling fish inside. Kind Emma said, "That looks like a fish tank, Terrianne, but if you did this...." and she proceeded to fix my fish so they actually looked like fish. And Shulamith guessed it on her first try. Thank you, Emma!

My Jase-man is growing to be tall and lean. My goodness, he is so grown up. I didn't get a lot of time to talk to him because he carries the "Y" chromosome and, consequently, is already addicted to video-games, but he is awesome. And then there is Hanna. Her long blond curls and charming smile make her positively irresistible. I think she could seriously be a model. What do you think?

At one point, she was extremely helpful. I was having a conversation with Olivia, responding to her babbling with such things as "Really, Olivia? What else happened? Can you tell me more about that story?" Hanna, in attempt to inform me of my error, said: "Terrianne! She doesn't know how to talk." Ha!

Of course my time with Lindsey was lovely. You know the post that circulates around Facebook, the one about true friends? It doesn't matter how far apart they are or how much time passes between visits; when they are reunited, it is exactly the same. It is as though they were never separated. Yup, that's how it is with her and me. And I get to see her AGAIN this weekend. Can you believe that? Isaiah is buying David's old car, and they are bringing it here on Saturday. Wow!

Here is one final picture, their whole family together.

Meeting Olivia...It was worth the wait!

Integrity. Nope, It's Not a Dead Value

Have you ever wondered if integrity even exists anymore? It's easy to become cynical when all around us we see examples of dishonesty in the form of half truths and misused context, not to mention outright lying and cheating. Is nothing as it appears? Is no one truly honest? Two recent experiences have reassured me that integrity is not a dead value and restored any faith I might have lost in the genuine goodness of human beings. One involves a company, and the other a young man.

First let me say that I am seriously skeptical of insurance companies. It seems they do all they can to sell me policies and are more than happy to take my money, but then when something happens and I need to file a claim, they do everything they can to find some loophole so they don't have to pay. They are for-profit businesses, after all. Why wouldn't they be more interested in looking out for themselves than helping me? So generally, I don't buy any add-on insurance policies when I purchase products. I take my chances. I don't trust insurance companies to follow through. Yes, I have auto and homeowners' insurance, and (finally) health insurance, but other than that, no. With one exception.

Just over a year ago, we got Seth his first cell phone. We moved into our new house in Utah and decided not to have a home phone line. For Seth's safety and my peace of mind, I wanted him to have a cell, so he could call me when he's home alone or dial 911 in an emergency. It seemed prudent to get him a phone. Before that time, I had never purchased insurance for a cell phone, but Seth was 11 years old, and I let the salesperson talk me into insurance. I would pay $6.99/month to insure the phone against loss or damage.

Fast forward 14 months. In all that time, Seth kept his phone safe and functional. I considered dropping the insurance. Sure, it's only 7 bucks a month, but then again, it's 7 bucks I could use for other things. And obviously Seth had proven he was mature enough to take care of his phone. Then one day about a week ago, the phone stopped working. It took a while to figure out what had happened, but ultimately, we learned that Seth's phone had sand in it from our beach day in California, so Seth had tried to rinse the sand out. Yep, with water! Now Seth is a very smart boy. He really is. But somewhere along the line, he never picked up on the fact that we can't mix water with electronics and have a good outcome.

Let me just tell you, I was not optimistic. Nope, my cynicism took right over, and I figured when I tried to use this insurance I'd been paying for all these months, there would be some loophole. Surely, they couldn't just give me a new phone. No way. I was so wrong. That's exactly what they did, with absolutely no hassle. Okay, I was on hold for maybe five minutes, but as soon as I connected with a live person, she happily and professionally took my information and told me Seth's new phone would be delivered to my house the following day. And it was. I'm not kidding. I don't know if this is typical or if we just got lucky. But I am certainly thankful I let the Verizon salesperson talk me into getting the insurance plan for Seth's phone. And I'm awfully glad I didn't cancel it.

Integrity. And now for the story of the young man. He was a student in my English 101 class this past semester. He suffers from a condition called Narcolepsy, which causes him to fall asleep at random times, entirely beyond his control. He had an accommodation which allowed him extra time on assignments, and that helped him to do okay through the first three essays, but by the last one, he really struggled. In the end, he only wrote 1-1/2 pages of the required 6-8 page essay. Even with extra time and support, this was all he could produce. He told me he could do no more, and he would have to accept the grade he earned. He wasn't angry or resentful; he even told me how much he had enjoyed the class and thanked me for my effort. Absolutely no attempt to blame me, or anyone else, for his situation.

When I figured final grades, his was a D+. I felt sad about that, but I knew I could only give him the grade he earned. To do anything else would compromise the integrity of the entire course. A couple days after grades were posted online, I received an email from this student. Once again, he told me how much he enjoyed the class, and then he explained the reason for the email. He had received a B+ in the course, and while he would have been delighted to earn that grade, he knew it had to be a mistake. "I only had 68% going into the final essay, and I only wrote a page and a half." I instantly realized what happened. I had submitted grades over the phone to the administrative assistant, and she heard "B+" when I said "D+."

 I cried when I read his email. I deal with cheating of one kind or another every single semester. Students get behind in the end, and the pressure overtakes them, and they compromise their integrity. They cheat. They copy other students' work. They buy essays off the Internet. They "borrow" material from others and don't cite their sources. They cheat. This student didn't cheat. More than that, this student cared enough about his personal integrity that he emailed me to point out a mistake that could have benefited his GPA tremendously. I am simply in awe of him. One day when he walks across the front of the Tabernacle on Temple Square to receive his degree, he will be able to look back at his college career and know he earned that degree honestly and without cheating. And that means more to him than one grade in one class.

So if you ever wondered if integrity is a dead value; or if no one cares about honesty, so long as he gets what he wants in the end; or of no company or individual is trustworthy; let me tell you that is not the case. Integrity is alive and well. It's a value worth striving for and defending in ourselves no matter what. Thank you, Verizon Wireless and Jonathan Jones [named changed] for reminding me of this.

Duudle May Be My Final Downfall

I am an auditory learner. A polarized auditory learner. Some more fortunate people can learn effectively in a couple different modalities; very lucky individuals learn well in all three. Those people are sometimes labeled "gifted," but I'm pretty sure they're no smarter than any of the rest of us. They just receive information effectively in every way (visual, auditory, kinesthetic), so every time something new is presented to them, it's easy to learn. I am NOT one of those people. To effectively learn, I need to receive information through auditory cues. I need to listen and talk. I don't do well in quiet classrooms. I'm hopeless at trying to read or look at diagrams to learn something brand new; I need it explained to me out loud. I need to be able to explain it back to the teacher. Yup, I'm auditory.

I have known this for a long time. When I was in college and studied education, I took the Barsch Learning Styles Inventory, but even before taking it, I knew. There are definite advantages to being an auditory learner. We're really, really good at learning foreign languages. We have only to hear that pronunciation, and we've got it nearly perfect. We also can recite song lyrics to thousands of songs, and we never, ever forget them. We just love classes like speech and drama and oral communication. We're the champions of class discussion. We have many talents.

However.

Polarized auditory learners also have some serious challenges. And one of those is playing Duudle. To succeed in Duudle, a Pictionary-type game played on one's cell phone, you have to draw pictures clearly enough that others can guess what you drew. Well this would be just dreamy for the kinesthetic learner, who needs to move to learn. Or for the visual learner, who can "see" objects in his mind and remember in detail what they look like. But for people like me, it's pretty pathetic. I didn't realize how inadequately I receive visual cues until I started playing (and losing) this stupid game. I seriously don't know what anything looks like. I mean, I have a general idea about most things, but not enough to create a representation that anyone can recognize. It's more than not being good at drawing; it's that I can't visualize the objects. Most of the time, when I get the word I'm supposed to draw, I'm totally baffled. I only have 30 seconds, and I don't even know where to begin.

I play this game with Gerald and Shulamith, and both of them take great joy in mocking me over my various drawings. For example, this was a really good one, I thought:

As you can see, Gerald (Gferic) guessed "refrigerator" and Shulamith guessed "shutter." But surely you can all tell what it really is, right? Right? Isn't it obvious? Yes, of course, it's a domino.

Then I just drew this one, which they haven't tried to guess yet:

It's garlic, of course. You saw it right away, yes?

And I'm no better at guessing. Well maybe a little better. I'm just not fast enough. Even when I guess right, I get this sarcastic message: "Shulamith was right first!" or "Gferic was right first!" It looks like this:

Every time. I'm never right first. Shulamith drew this picture, and guess what? Gerald was right first. It is incredibly discouraging. When you add playing this game to the plethora of other things I'm not good at, the truth becomes clear: Duudle may be my final downfall.