Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Meaningful Gifts

We all know that the best gifts are free. Better than any material gift are the things that can't be bought, the things that last eternally:  the love of family, the joy of friendship, the warmth of togetherness.

That said, sometimes material gifts are meaningful too, not because they are big or extravagant or expensive, but rather because they are carefully chosen and personal and just exactly right.

I was blessed with a few of these this Christmas.

1. Eli gave me a car window decal with the "BYU-Idaho Mom" logo. I already have decals on my van from Whitman College (Luke), Westminster College (Shulamith and Isaiah), and Indiana University (Luke - grad school). I have wanted one from BYU-Idaho ever since the fall of 2011, when Eli attended there the first time, the semester prior to his mission. I am so excited to add this new decal to my van window and so grateful to Eli for remembering how much I wanted it.

2. Luke and Desiree gave me Jeffrey R. Holland's newest book, To My Friends, Messages of Counsel and Comfort, such a thoughtful gift because they know Elder Holland is one of my favorites of the "Fab 15." This little book is divided into 21, short, independent chapters, making it the perfect bedtime read. I love it already.

3. Isaiah, with guidance from Shulamith, gave me a beautiful silver mother's necklace with charms engraved with the initials of each of my five children. Well, you can just see for yourself how lovely it is:


5.  Mathew bought me a soft, salmon-colored, thermal shirt, stretchy and super comfortable. I love the shirt; really I do, but even more, I love that he thought to go get it by himself, without Shulamith even. So nice.

5.  Gerald gave me a cozy, warm sweater in my favorite color, red. It is so comfy, especially now that we are experiencing temperatures that remind me of when I lived in Montana.

I don't think any of these gifts was bank-breaking expensive, but each is incredibly meaningful nonetheless. Each represents that someone cared enough to know me, and to know specifically what I would like.

Yes, the best gifts are free. That is true for sure. But these ones are awfully nice too.

Friday, December 26, 2014

It Had Its Quirks For Sure, But It Was All Good: Christmas 2014

I saw a meme yesterday that said

'Twas the Night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Except Mom, who was busting butt to make everything perfect for everybody.

I laughed. This has been my life for almost as long as I can remember, and I wouldn't have it any other way, but yes, Christmas prep for us moms is tiring.

This year was typical in that regard: endless and relentless shopping for days and weeks, trying to get every kid the exact right thing while still working within a budget (sort of); attempting to bake copious amounts of special holiday treats, when let's face it...I'm just terrible at baking; drafting the perfect Christmas letter and mailing it out with a collage of carefully selected photos; scurrying from store to store on the afternoon of the 24th because the final count revealed two kids with one fewer gift than the others; grocery shopping late Christmas Eve because, well, there just wasn't any other time to do it; "Santa" prep even later Christmas Eve, filling each stocking to capacity and arranging special unwrapped Santa gifts just so.

By the time I fell into bed at near midnight, I was drop-dead exhausted.

But could I sleep? Of course not! Just thinking about the upcoming excitement made sleep impossible. So I lay awake, anticipating the surprises to come, and wondering if my dream of a white Christmas would really come true.

It did! And yes, I managed to sleep a little, not good, solid, restorative sleep, mind you, but some sleep here and there through the night. I awoke to a dusting of white, with more snow falling. I can't remember the last time we had fresh snow on Christmas Day, and it was every bit as magical as you can imagine, so go ahead and be jealous.

One thing that is very different from the days when we had tiny children is that Christmas morning begins later than it used to. Instead of being awakened at dawn by children climbing all over me shouting "Wake up, Mommy! It's Christmas and Santa Claus came!" I awoke to a quiet, quiet house. I quickly put the makings of hot cocoa into the crock pot, and sat for a bit alone in my living room. I watched the snow fall outside my window. I listened to Christmas music for the last time this year. I gazed at my lovely Christmas tree with its twinkling lights and so many ornaments to remind me of years past. It was a "moment."

About 9:30, Shulamith texted that her little Swen was wanting to come upstairs, so maybe I should consider waking up my boys. I found Eli already awake (!) just chillin' on his computer, and I gently woke up Seth and Isaiah. They all took quick showers, and by 10:00 we were ready to begin the day. We open gifts s-l-o-w-l-y. You see, I am the mom. I have done all the prep work (see above), so I get to decide how things go down on Christmas morning, and I like it to last. A long time. Just ask Matt. Haha, okay maybe don't ask him? Still fairly new to our traditions, he is baffled by how one family can take so incredibly long to open gifts. He has yet to make it through an entire Christmas morning with us; he always manages to break free and slip away at some point. And that is absolutely fine.

It was a wonderful time. Wonderful and quirky. Just like all of us. Just like everyone. The longer I live and the more I experience, the more convinced I am of the utter quirkiness of human beings. God must laugh a lot. But I digress.

The first quirk came early. I decided to give Seth his best present first. In the past, I've done all sorts of things to make sure his main gift is a total surprise, and this year I couldn't think of anything but this. So he unwrapped his laptop first, and in utter disbelief exclaimed, "Is this a computer? Really? Why did you give me this first?" His gifts to follow would go quickly downhill, which didn't bother him at all, but then this happened: Within seconds, it seemed, he managed to install a virus on his new computer. Yep, he sure did. From that point, it was "game on." My two computer gurus, Gerald and Isaiah, were fully distracted, obsessed by their goal to rid the computer of the nasty bug, passing the laptop back and forth, discussing their effort and progress. No longer did they see a single thing anyone opened; it almost felt like an imposition to ask them to open their own gifts when their respective turns came around. But this didn't matter at all because honestly, it's only Shulamith and I (and maybe Eli, a little) who even care what people get, and we saw everything, while Gerald and Isaiah successfully wiped out the virus. It was all good.

But just as this minor glitch ended, there was this. Gerald likes to freeze plastic cups containing ice cubes and all sorts of different varieties of diluted pop. I often can't find a single cup to drink from because so many are in the freezer! So we are all sitting there opening gifts, one by one, when suddenly Gerald starts yelling, "Oh, no, ack, ack, help, help HELP!" But none of us knew what was wrong. No idea. So we just sat there. For seconds. Finally, we saw that his ice cube cup had cracked, and Diet Coke was dripping wildly all over everywhere, but still we just sat there. It was so weird. Like no one moved, as Gerald continued to scream for help. Finally, after way too long, someone grabbed some wrapping paper, and I ran upstairs for a towel. Weird.

Problem solved, and the gift-opening continued. Including Isaiah's gifts. I should point out that for the past five years, Isaiah has lived in the typical poverty of most college students, so he's never had money to buy anything. This year was much different. His sweet job provided him the means to buy gifts, and when he walked in on Christmas Eve with gifts nearly falling out of his arms, it was one of the most adorable things I'd ever seen. Many of his gifts were truly heartfelt. He gave me a mother's necklace with charms engraved with the initials of each of my five kids (love!), and he gave Shulamith's baby Kennedy a $10 bill, her very first cash. But some others? Have you ever heard of men who give their wives tools for Christmas? Yeah, think along those lines. He gave Seth a WiiU controller, so he (Isaiah) could play Smash, and he gave Eli a Dominion card set. Eli sort of plays Dominion? Sometimes? But Isaiah is the Dominion king. So this made us all laugh, and you probably need to actually be an Erichsen-Webster to understand the humor in all this, so I'll leave it at that.

About halfway through the morning, Shulamith texted me that on Matt's next turn she wanted us to go up and bring down his new flat screen HDTV. Up to this point, they had a tiny, dark TV, and Shulamith had saved and saved to get this new one, and I helped her as well. She was so excited, and she so wanted Matt to be excited, and on some level, she actually thought he would be. Now she knows Matt. She knows him well. As well as anyone does. And she loves him so much. But she also knows that he does not care for Christmas at all, and he certainly does not get excited about presents. No way that's gonna happen, and I could have told her that, and I probably should have told her that, because I think she was a little disappointed by his utter lack of emotion when we carried this TV down the stairs. It was dead silent. No one said a word for several minutes. However, I think he liked it because his annual "escape the Erichsen-Webster Christmas marathon" strategy involved him taking the TV downstairs and setting it up. And then he spent the greater part of today mounting it. So yeah. He likes it, even if it was a Christmas gift.

And just like that, it was over. It happens every year. Regardless of how slowly I make them go, the end comes eventually, leaving an empty tree. It's always sad for me; I won't lie. So much preparation, so much shopping and wrapping and shopping and wrapping (I even wrap my own gifts, once Shulamith puts them in boxes so I can't see what they are), and it's all over so fast. I need to remember, as we all do, that the first gift, the real gift, the most important gift, the only gift that matters ultimately, never ends. Indeed, the reason for all the other gifts is the gift from Heaven sent to all.

Quirks and all, He loves us. Quirks and all, He provided the path by which we may find our way back to Him. May we be blessed to remember that as we embark on yet another year of this crazy good life.












Sunday, December 14, 2014

Take Christ out of Christmas? I Don't Think It's Possible

On a friend's Facebook wall recently, she shared a blog post regarding those who repeatedly tell us to "keep Christ in Christmas" or to "put Christ back in Christmas" or those who are offended if someone wishes them "Happy Holidays" or "Season's greetings." The blogger said that when we perpetuate these ideas, "we prove ourselves people of little faith." I think her point is that God's presence is in no way threatened because of anything we, or others, happen to do or not do when celebrating holidays, including Christmas.

I agree.

You see, I believe Christmas is for everyone who wants it. Don't misunderstand; for me, Christmas is a religious holiday, the day we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who came into the world to bring light in the darkness, to demonstrate what pure love really looks like, and to redeem humankind from sin, thus providing the path to eternal life. That's what Christmas means to me. Every gift I wrap, every carol I sing, every cookie I bake, every tree I trim, is because of that tiny babe born in Bethlehem so long ago, whose perfect love brings redeeming grace to all who seek Him.

But everyone isn't me.

And everyone doesn't have to be me in order to share in the joy of this season.

Would I withhold the joys of Christmas from those who don't happen to believe the way I do? I would not.

Would I make Christmas an exclusive club only for the religious, only for those who attend church, only for those who attend my church, only for those who identify themselves as Christians? I would not.

And I don't think God would either.

Christmas brings out the very best in people. It manages to take otherwise self-involved humans and turn them into something better. We give more than just gifts at Christmas; we give of ourselves. We willingly reach out in generosity to those less fortunate. We love more deeply. We are kinder and more tolerant. We help more and judge less. We are gentler with our children. Indeed, we behave more like Christ.

Why wouldn't we want this for everyone? Perhaps growing up in a non-religious family, yet celebrating Christmas every year with such gladness, I can't imagine why I'd want to exclude anyone, ever, from this glorious holiday.

So take your kids to visit Santa. Or don't. (I happen to adore Santa, but that's just me.) Sing carols about reindeer and snowmen and jingle bells. Or sing carols only about the Savior. Do what works for you.

Either way, if folks care enough to wish you well this season, be grateful, regardless of the words they use. Be grateful they took the time to stop and think of you, and then send that love right back because it can only make the world better.

Take Christ out of Christmas? Nope, I don't think it's possible.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Night Before Christmas (Erichsen-Webster Style)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not an Erichsen-Webster was stirring, not even a mouse (well, except maybe Kennedy and Shulamith downstairs. The Webster-Monsons welcomed a baby sister, Kennedy Webster Monson, July 5th.)

The pictures were hung on the kitchen wall with care (Yep,Terrianne, the LEAST crafty person on earth, somehow created a family photo gallery),
In hopes friends and visitors soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds (including Swen, who at age 2-1/2 has finally figured out sleeping, much to his mother's relief!);
While visions of Diet Coke danced in their heads;
And mamma (Terrianne) in her 'kerchief, and I (Gerald) in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave a lustre of celebration to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But seven Erichsen-Websters from far and from near,
With Isaiah in the middle, so lively and rad,
I knew in a moment he must be a grad (from Westminster College with a B.S. in Computer Science).

More rapid than eagles his family they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Luke! now, Shulamith! now Eli and Seth!
On, Mathew! On, Désirée! on, Mom and Dad!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" (And dash away Isaiah does, all the time, in his new position with Lanyon Inc., where he travels the world as a tech support specialist at various events and conventions).

But Isaiah, not the only graduate this year,
Dr. Luke Erichsen soon would appear;
So up to Indiana a few of us flew
Terrianne, Gerald, and Shulamith too — (...possibly for the last time. The Erichsen-Valentines moved from Indiana to Maryland in August, where both Luke and Désirée secured jobs in their respective fields of psychology and business at exactly the same time, no easy task for a family).

As we landed in Indy, and were turning around,
Down the aisle of the auditorium Luke came with a bound.
He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
Including a mortarboard, tassel, and hood;
A Ph.D. he had earned on his back,
And he looked like a scholar just opening his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! So thrilled to be done!
Through five years of hard work, the battle he'd won.
On his face was a smile, his countenance glad,
With Evelyn watching, so proud of her dad.

But before all that happened, and lest we forget,
The most glorious day of the past two years yet;
At the airport we waited for one flight to land
'Til we saw Elder Webster, Book of Mormon in hand.
We ran forth to greet him, for after two years,
Oh the joy! — and then Mom in a puddle of tears.
We touched him, we hugged him, we looked in his eyes,
It was really our Eli, a little more wise;
He spoke many words, then went straight to his work,
Serving pasta at Mac. Grill; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
Up to BYU-Idaho in Rexburg he rose.

Then there is Shulamith, home with her babes,
Terrianne helps her on most of the days.
Save three mornings a week when with strength, mind, and might,
She tries to help college kids learn how to write.
Matt works for Vision, supply chain his role,
Gerald helps people hablar español.

And last we have Seth, who in June turned fourteen,
Which is totally nuts if you know what we mean.
He is our “baby” and needs to stay small,
But he currently stands five feet, nine inches tall!
He sings in the choir, piano he plays,
He makes our lives joyful in so many ways.
Magic his favorite, with card tricks galore,
A freshman in high school, so much still in store.

From the twelve of us here to the many of you,
May the love of the Savior, bless through and through.
And hear us exclaim, ere we move out of sight —
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Friday, December 5, 2014

Christmas Traditions from the Viewpoint of Seth



Last evening, as Seth and I were driving home from Taco Time, he made known his unwavering viewpoint about Christmas traditions. I thought I'd share it with you.

Mom, I just love ALL our Christmas traditions. I'm going to do all of them with my own family one day. I don't care what my wife thinks. If she doesn't like our traditions, she is obviously not the "one."

First, we will eat delicious Chinese food on Christmas Eve. (In reality, this is a fairly new tradition in our family, just the last few years that we've lived here in Utah, but apparently Seth likes it).

Second, we will read the Christmas story from the Bible and open one present on Christmas Eve. It can be pajamas or a pillow or a new blanket, nothing too exciting. The good presents have to be in the morning.

Third, we will take turns, from youngest to oldest, opening one present at a time Christmas morning, so it takes hours and hours.

Fourth, we will open our stockings LAST. I've heard of families that open stockings first, and that is just wrong.

Fifth, we will all go to a movie together on Christmas night. This is my favorite part of Christmas. Well, besides the presents. 

*****************************************************

Dear Seth's Future Wife,

I apologize for Seth's rigidity, and I hope all this is acceptable to you.

Love, Seth's Mom

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Grateful In Any Circumstances

In a recent General Conference address, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf encouraged members of our church to be grateful in any circumstances. He spoke of those dealing with all varieties of adversity: sickness, loss, financial stress, mental anguish, and more. He taught that with the Gospel in our lives, it is possible to be grateful despite adversity and to find reason to rejoice in any situation.

While our circumstances are not nearly as devastating as those he mentioned in his talk, our Thanksgiving celebration did not turn out quite as we planned, thanks to a pesky little stomach virus that cycled its way through our family during the holiday week. I had one brief moment of tears as I looked at Eli, flat in bed, so sick, on this, the first Thanksgiving since his mission.

Nevertheless, I found reason to rejoice and to be so grateful for so much. Despite the stomach flu, it really was a lovely holiday.

Eli arrived home Monday evening, and in the middle of that night, both Shulamith and I awoke feeling blah, you know, that undeniable feeling that something is just not right in the digestive system. Yeah, you know the feeling. Since we eat lots of our meals together, we just assumed it was some sort of food poisoning. With Eli's help, we pushed forward all day Tuesday with of dozens of "to-do" items on our Thanksgiving prep list. On Wednesday, Matt got sick. At that point we realized this must be a virus rather than food poisoning. Who would be next to drop? Sadly, Thursday morning, both Eli and Seth woke up sick. I tried to remember President Uchtdorf's counsel, grateful in any circumstances.

I was grateful. I was grateful Eli was home where I could take care of him, rather than away at school or in Tennessee! I was grateful this virus was only lasting about 24 hours, so he and Seth should be better by the next day. And they were. Just in time for Black Friday! For years, Shulamith and I have shopped Black Friday by ourselves, but this year we let the boys come too, and also Grandma, who had flown in from Portland Thursday afternoon. She recently received an inheritance, and she chose to share it by letting all of my children go shopping for clothes.

It was a shopping extravaganza (!), and by the end of the day, they each had lovely new wardrobes consisting of all their favorite styles. This photo is only of the three younger boys; Luke lives in Maryland and will have to shop there. Shulamith was home napping her kids when we took this picture, but she was with us in the morning and again after naps, so she got her new clothes too. Yay!

I am grateful the four Webster women could be together for this next photo, taken Thursday night, BEFORE Grandma (my mom) got sick:

Yep, we managed to pass along this dumb virus to her, and she woke up sick Saturday morning. It's never fun to be sick, but it's especially not fun when you are away from home. I felt so bad for her. Still, I tried to be grateful in any circumstances. I am grateful she was able to come visit us, and I hope she is too, despite the stomach flu.

I had responsibilities in all three hours of church Sunday. I got to speak in Sacrament Meeting (my favorite!!) and then teach my regular Gospel Essentials class and then sub as chorister in Relief Society. By the time I dropped Grandma (still sick) off at the airport Sunday afternoon, I was positively exhausted.

I came home, grateful for my wonderful bed, which I immediately climbed into and fell sound asleep.

Grateful in any circumstances. Indeed, I am trying to be.