Fall Fab Fun!

Last weekend, I spent a fabulous fall weekend in Rexburg, Idaho with several of my favorite people. It began Friday at 12:30 when I got out of class and began the 5-1/2 hour drive. You should know that driving is very low on my list of favorite things to do. More accurately, it doesn't even make the list. I do not like to drive. I've been spoiled over the years because Gerald does 99% of the driving on all our road trips. Thank heavens! I especially don't like to drive when I'm not sure where I'm going. Have I mentioned that I'm directionally challenged? Well, I am. I have no clue about north, south, east, or west (Isn't north up, like toward the sky?), and I find maps to be wholly incomprehensible. They pretty much resemble a bunch of Ramen Noodles on a page. The route to Rexburg from Billings is anything but direct. There are all sort of twists and turns, new highways to look for, etc. Gerald typed out clear and specific directions, but I still called him several times to make certain I was on track. I have been lost far too many times to ever trust myself.

Stopping only briefly in Bozeman to get food, I arrived in Rexburg around 6:00 p.m. My welcoming committee was comprised of Emma and Jase, waiting outside in the driveway with giant hugs. Mmmmm, I didn't realize quite how much I missed them until we were together again. As expected, it took a bit of time before Hanna would hang with me, but by the next day we were BFFs once again. In fact, in her quest for independence, she decided that only I was allowed to change her diapers and dress her. I loved that, by the way. She is fast approaching age 2 (just a couple more weeks), and how beautifully she has begun to express her will and let the world know that she has opinions too. She is absolutely perfect. Also perfect is 4-year-old Jase, who, among other things, reads like a 2nd grader. I'm not exaggerating. He was most excited to show off his new tattoo, something from Star Wars maybe? I can't remember. And lovely Emma was as sweet, smart, and beautiful as always.

About an hour later, Shulamith and Matt arrived. We snuck Lindsey out the door (so Hanna wouldn't notice) and headed out to dinner. At this point I need to express my huge appreciation to David, who spent much of his weekend home with the kids, while Shulamith and Matt and I took Lindsey out to play: restaurants, shopping, a movie, etc. What a good husband and father. What a good friend. Thank you, David. I used to be able to reciprocate when you guys lived in Billings. Not sure how I'll do that now.

Yes, it was a fabulous weekend, and of course, it came all too soon to an end. Shulamith and Matt and I intended to leave Rexburg at 1:00 when Lindsey and family went to church and go our separate directions, but we instead went to Jack in the Box and stayed for nearly two hours talking and eating. Should I really admit what I ate there? How do greasy deep-fried tacos, mozzarella sticks, and funnel cake sound? Uh huh, it was that good. The drive home was more enjoyable than the drive there because I bought a cord to connect the auxiliary port in my car to my phone so I could listen to my Pandora stations. If you haven't yet tried Pandora Radio, you really should. What could be better than a station that plays only your favorite songs and others like them, one after the other?

I arrived home at exactly 8:00 p.m. just in time to watch the season premieres of "Desperate Housewives" and "Brothers & Sisters." At commercial breaks, I caught up with both Eli and Seth and met Seth's new pet, a goldfish he won at Saturday Live. His name: Orange-head Fisher. Seth calls him Mr. Fisher for short.

Fall Fab Fun. It was simply amazing.

On Becoming a Young Man and Getting Married

Here are the latest two in the ongoing series of insightful thoughts from 10-year-old Seth:

"Mom! I just have to memorize all these Articles of Faith. If I don't, I'll never make it out of Senior Primary. I will never be a Young Man."

...later that day...

Seth: By the way, Mom, I don't think I'll ever get married.

Me: Why do you say that, Seth?

Seth: Because girls are just too hard,......especially YOU!

Is it today yet?

This has seriously been the longest week in history. I can't remember a week that d-r-a-g-g-e-d by quite as slowly as this one did. Why? Today, as soon as my classes are over, I will jump in my car and drive to Rexburg, Idaho. Ordinarily, this would not be all that thrilling. What is in Rexburg other than BYU-Idaho? Not that much.

Except.

Perhaps you remember that about two months ago, Lindsey and her family moved away from Billings. Where did they move? Yep, to Rexburg. Suddenly, this little town became high on my list of interesting places. So even though I really don't like to drive such distances (about 5-1/2 hours) by myself, and even though I'm a little tired because I was too excited last night to sleep (duh!), I'm counting on adrenalin to keep me going as I drive this afternoon.

Waiting in Rexburg will be Lindsey, David, Emma, Jase, and Hanna. When they left Billings, little Hanna was just starting to like me. It took her 15 months, but we were actually starting to be friends. For the record, it wasn't just me. Hanna spent the first year of her life pretty much hating everyone who wasn't her mom. I'm guessing that after two months, she will have forgotten all about me, and we'll have to start all over, but that's okay. I know my friends Emma and Jase will remember. Oh how I can't wait to snuggle with them!

But it gets even better than this.

Also traveling this afternoon from the opposite direction will be Shulamith and Matt. If our timing works out, we should all arrive in Rexburg at about dinner time. Woo hoo! What will we do this weekend? I can't say for sure. Probably spend some time at McDonald's. The kids can play there, and more importantly, Lindsey and I need the nostalgia of McDonald's. We wouldn't feel like we'd been together if we didn't go there at least once. And then, there must be a mall somewhere near Rexburg, right? I don't know what else. Plenty of restaurant meals. Maybe a movie? We'll see.

It really doesn't matter what we do. If I can be with Lindsey and her kids, along with Shulamith and Matt, all in the same weekend, I truly need nothing more. Well, I could use Celeste, but I guess life can't be perfect.

Okay, it's almost time to go. Let me tell you one more funny thing first. When Lindsey was telling her kids about our visit, she said: "Terrianne is coming today, and also Shulamith and Matt. Do you remember Matt?"

Jase replied, "Yes. He used to be my friend when we lived in Billings. I haven't seen him since we moved from Billings. He is going to be so surprised about my tattoo!"

Indeed he will Jase! We all will.

Is it today yet?

YES IT IS!

Summer Reads: Dark with Glimmers of Hope

Summer is usually a time when I catch up on all the reading I've missed during the hectic school year. Okay, you can never catch up on all the reading you want to do, but I generally make a good stab at it during the summer. This summer flew by so quickly with trips to Oregon and Costa Rica that it feels like I didn't get much reading done at all. However, I did read a few books, none of which you could call bright and cheery, but all of which (though fiction) are absolutely true. True, because they speak about life, about its unending struggles, and about the spirit of courageous people who overcome those struggles against all odds.

At the start of the summer, I read The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. It was the June selection of our couples' book group and maybe not something I would have picked up on my own, but it was well worth my time, so I'm thankful someone else chose it. Set in Nazi Germany, it is a story so familiar that one wonders how it could be told yet again and still bring new insight into the horror of that time. Surprisingly, it does just that. While the young girl Liesel is the central character, the story itself is narrated by the persona "Death." Strangely but naturally, we come to identify and empathize with this untypical narrator; our sympathies lie with him (or her?) throughout the story as, page after page, we're surrounded by hurt and joy, despair and love, anguish and hope, as we're immersed in one of the darkest periods of human history.

I'd like to tell you my summer reading lightens up at this point, but I cannot. The next book I read was The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the first in a trilogy by Stieg Larsson. I was captivated by this story for a couple of reasons. First, the thrill of the murder mystery kept my fingers racing to turn the pages faster. Second, the protagonist suffers from what I thought early on was Asperger's Syndrome. By the end I wasn't as certain, although I'm convinced it must be something on the autism spectrum. In any case, she is endearing for sure. We like her. We pity her. We stop pitying her because we know she would hate us for doing so. We cheer for her. We rejoice in her victories. We're astonished by her brilliance. We're amused by her social ignorance. We love her, and we mourn for her. Our Lisbeth.

I finished Dragon while we were still in Costa Rica, and I was desperate to get my hands on the second book in the trilogy, The Girl Who Played with Fire. We searched bookstores in Alajuela but could find it only in Spanish. Grrr. I bought a copy in the Atlanta Airport and became happily absorbed in another mystery, the outcome of which could never have been predicted. Gracious! I feel to warn you, though. Both books, but the second in particular, are quite graphic. Parts were most certainly over-the-top too explicit for my taste, and I carefully skimmed over several pages. That didn't matter. Really, it didn't.

When I finished Fire, I had a choice to make. Part of me wanted to rush out and buy the third book, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. But wait....sitting right on my nightstand....just waiting for me.....was Mockingjay! Tell me you understand the depth and breadth of this dilemma. While I was away, Luke and Désirée ordered Mockingjay, the third in the amazing trilogy by Suzanne Collins, to be delivered to my house just as soon as it came out. And there it sat. Waiting. For me. I had read the first two books, The Hunger Games and Catching Fire, several months ago, maybe even a year ago? I can't remember. Celeste had told me they were the best reads since Twilight, so I rushed out and bought them, read them one after the other, and then passed them right along to Lindsey and Shulamith. I had to wait clear until now for #3.

It was a difficult decision, but since Mockingjay was sitting on my nightstand and Hornet's Nest was still in a bookstore somewhere, I opted for the former. I am about three-fourths through Mockingjay, once again caught up in a world too horrible to imagine yet frighteningly real. When I first began reading The Hunger Games, I equated it to a train wreck. What you see is ghastly, but you can't turn away, so you keep on staring. And so it is with the world of Panem. An arena in which children are forced to kill each other is positively as gruesome as it sounds. But you can't stop reading. Trust me, you can't. With about 150 pages left in Mockingjay, I have this to say to Ms. Collins: Katniss, so brave and willful, so loyal and self-sacrificing, had BETTER wind up with the Peeta she knows and loves. If she doesn't, I will be one unhappy girl. It's not quite as serious as "Team Edward," but it's close.

So here I will say goodbye. I'm off to finish the final chapters in Mockingjay, after which it's back to Kalle and Lisbeth.

Happy reading!

Giddy Just Thinking About It

A few days ago, a friend's Facebook status said: "So many awesome things coming up in the next few months. I get giddy just thinking about it!" When I first read this, I thought, "Lucky you." Because I spend most of my time lately, not looking forward, but just wishing to go back. It's so easy to throw those private pity parties, isn't it? Oh, to go back in time just a couple years...

Celeste around the corner...

Lindsey across the street...

Our beloved Metra Ward...

Etc.

However, this kind of thinking is neither healthy nor productive. We cannot go back. We can only move forward. So I started to consider what "awesome things" I, myself, have coming up in the next few months. There are many, many.

For example, one week from today, when I finish teaching my class at noon, I will get in my bright red car and drive the 5-1/2 hours to Rexburg to spend the weekend with Lindsey. That same day, when Shulamith finishes up with her kindergarten babies at 2:30, she will get in her car (which is not bright red, but still a good car) and drive the 3 hours to Rexburg to meet me. Woot! That's really all I have to say about it. Woot!

The following weekend, I will participate in my semi-annual weekend of self-indulgence. Another friend's recent Facebook status quoted author Parker Palmer: "Self-care is never a selfish act--it is simply good stewardship of the only gift that I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others." (Isn't it fortunate I have such intelligent, insightful Facebook friends?) Two weekends each year, one in October and one in April, I treat myself. I wear my jammies, I lie in bed, and I watch TV for eight hours. I watch all four 2-hour sessions of our church's semi-annual General Conference. I used to call myself "selfish" for this because I really do put everything else aside, and I don't allow myself to be disrupted by anything or anyone. But the quote above assures me that I am not being selfish when I care for myself in this way. I am better for it, better emotionally, better spiritually, and better psychologically. I deserve that. And my family deserves a better me.

Three weeks after General Conference weekend, I will board an airplane and fly to Indiana. I will leave Billings around the same time Shulamith leaves Salt Lake City, and we'll arrive in Indy within 30 minutes of each other. Last year when we did this, our planes touched down just two minutes apart. We couldn't come quite that close this year, but we're still pretty close! Waiting at the airport will be Luke. Hooray! I haven't seen him since August, and Shulamith hasn't seen him since her wedding in February. We're pretty freakin' excited. In addition, we'll finally get to meet Désirée in person. I feel like we already know each other through email, phone calls, Skype, and even this blog to some extent. But it will be so fun to get to meet her in person and spend the weekend playing with her and Luke.

The weekend after Indy is Halloween. I won't lie. It's never been my favorite holiday. Pumpkin carving is right up there with Easter egg dyeing on my list of NOT fun things to do. Guys! I'M JUST NOT GOOD AT THIS STUFF. I have no skill whatsoever in this area. However, Halloween is Seth's absolute favorite holiday. Despite my efforts to train him better, he likes it even more than Christmas. From carving pumpkins to choosing a costume (the bloodier the better) to trick-or-treating to basking in the joy of his candy stash, Seth loves Halloween. And, as I believe I discussed in last year's Halloween blog post, I can't say for sure how many more years this will last. I know too well how fast kids grow up, how soon they leave, and how much it hurts when they do. Seth is 10. A perfect 10! I will dig in there and help him carve pumpkins. I will not let one single pumpkin carving experience pass me by.

One lovely thing about Billings is that about two weeks before Thanksgiving, local radio stations do something wonderful. They begin to play Christmas music.

Christmas music.

No matter what problems we may have, no matter what sad things surround us, no matter how cold it is in Montana, Christmas music makes everything better. Last year, Gerald kept better track than I did of when the music would begin, and one very cold morning in November (and you non-Montanans should know that by cold I mean 18 degrees below zero), wrapped in as many layers of clothing as I could fit on my body, I ventured out in the early morning to start up my very cold van. To my surprise, I found Christmas music playing on my radio. Gerald had programmed it for me. Through the biting cold and the early-morning hour (the only thing I like to do at that hour of the morning is sleep), I felt joy.

Thank you Megan and Rebecca for your thought-provoking Facebook statuses. And Megan, I agree! With so many awesome things coming up in the next few months, I get giddy just thinking about it.

Mr. Seth

As you've probably noticed, we are constantly entertained by our 10-year-old. We're pretty sure he's the funniest, most precocious kid around. I thought I'd post a few of his latest insights.

Be careful what you post...
A few nights ago, Seth surprised me with this conversation:

Seth: So Mom, you think I'm demanding?
Me: Seth, why would you say that?
Seth: I read it on your blog.
Me: You read my blog??
Seth: Me and Ethan were reading it, and you said I am demanding.
Me: Well, Seth, let's see. Do you know what it means to be demanding?
Seth: It means you want everything right now and you like lots of attention all the time.
Me: So do you think you're ever like that?
Seth: Ummm, yeah, probably.

Being Thankful
Seth has been asking for a set of scriptures, the nice leather type with his name imprinted, for several months. I've put off getting these, mostly because they cost $80. Finally, this past week, I decided to surprise him, so I bought him a green leather quad, exactly what he had requested. That same day, I also rented his trombone, so he can play in 5th-grade band. I came home with both these big surprises on the same day. Seth was elated. Later that night, he was still flying high.

Seth: I just LOVE my new scriptures. Especially because they are green and have my name in gold.
Me: I'm so glad you like them.
Seth: You know I love you all the time, don't you?
Me: Of course, (teasing) well except when you tell me you don't.
Seth: But you know I always love you on the inside, right?
Me: Of course I do.
Seth: You always tell me I should be thankful for what I have. Well, right now I am being thankful!

Hot Outside, But Not Inside
You know how some people are just naturally warm? They are always warm, even when it's cold outside. Then there are those of us (myself included) who are always cold. We sit wrapped up in blankets in the winter and always carry our hoodies in the summer. Well, Seth is in the former category. He is always hot. Always. He sleeps with no covers whatsoever. When he was younger, I would try to get him to wear a coat, but he always just carried it around; he rarely put it on. I no longer even bother.

Seth: I learned in science why I am always hot.
Me: You did? Really?
Seth: Yes. It's because I always wear black clothes. [He is definitely Johnny Cash the 2nd. Most of his shirts are black]. Black absorbs heat, so that's why I'm always hot. Well, that's why I'm always hot on the outside. I still don't know why I'm always hot on the inside.

Big Brother - Little Brother
Seth loves all his big brothers, including his newest one, Matt. He's decided lately, though, that he is just like Luke.

Seth: Did you know that I am exactly like Luke?
Me: No, I didn't know that.
Seth: Well, it's true. Luke played the viola and the trombone. I thought about playing the viola, and I am playing the trombone. See I'm just like Luke.
Me: I see what you mean.
Seth (lifting his arms in resignation): Yep, I'm just like Luke. Someday I'll probably meet a girl named Désirée, with all the hyphens. [I'm guessing when he says "with all the hyphens" he means the accent marks in her name.]

Mr. Seth.

School Daze

Do you ever feel like you're walking around in a daze? Like no matter what you do, you just can't catch up with your life? It's racing by, and you're barely holding on? I have felt that way pretty much ever since we returned from our trip three weeks ago. Part of the problem, I think, is that we were forced to jump right into the new academic year, just days after we got back. Perhaps if I'd had a couple weeks to recover, the adjustment might have been smoother? I don't know.

But ready or not, here we are back in the routine of school. Other than Gerald, every one of us has returned to academia in one form or another. Initial reports are mostly positive, I'm happy to say. Here's the scoop:

Seth is off to a great start in 5th grade. He loved his 4th grade teacher so much that I worried no one would be able to live up to her glory, at least in Seth's eyes. Fortunately, I was wrong. He seems to like this new teacher just as much. His favorite part of the week is Extended Studies, where he receives extra challenging instruction in math.

As one would expect, Eli is lovin' his senior year already. He is once again performing with Skylites, a select choir group. To explore his interest in a career in health education, he spends one period a day at the middle school, working as a student mentor in a 7th grade health enhancement class. Just yesterday, he had his senior pictures taken, and on Oct. 23rd, he'll take the ACT exam, the first step in his application process to Brigham Young University - Idaho.

Isaiah is back at Westminster as a sophomore majoring in computer systems technology. After a year working as a hall monitor (read: sit at a desk in the dorm lobby and play computer games), he was forced to get a "real" job this year. Only freshmen are hired as hall monitors. He is working at KFC, which is far from his dream job, but it can't be any worse than pushing carts all summer at Walmart. And as he and I keep reminding each other, at least it's a job, and money is money is money. He says he likes his classes this semester, his roommates are all great, and he's glad to be back in Utah.

Shulamith began her third year teaching kindergarten at Edison Elementary. Her challenge this year is a sweet little boy from Somalia, who speaks no English whatsoever and has no idea what school is or how to function there. Her days are long and exhausting, and I'm thankful she has a sweet husband to come home to who takes good care of her. And speaking of Mathew, he is once again attending Salt Lake Community College working on a business degree.

Luke and Désirée are both back in classes at Indiana University. Luke is in the second year of his PhD program in school psychology, and Désirée will finish her MBA in May. They are both extremely busy. Because Luke was on Fellowship last year, he wasn't allowed to work, but this year, in order to get his tuition reimbursement, he has to teach two sections of a freshman education course, and he was never even an education major! This is in addition to his own coursework, his research projects, his practicum hours, and his church calling. He tells me he's not sure he can get it all done. I tell him I know he can. I'm betting I'm right.

That leaves me. I am once again teaching classes in basic composition and business writing at Montana State University Billings - College of Technology. My students are delightful. I love them.

Still, I feel in a daze. A school daze. I hardly have the energy to fill out all the kids' various forms or attend their back-to-school nights. Oh, and as I write this, Seth (reading over my shoulder) reminds me, "You forgot to rent me a trombone." Ack! Yes I did. Was it selective forgetting? I mean think about it, 5th grade band, and he wants to play the trombone?!? When I told Lindsey, her instant response was, "I'm so very sorry." Okay, put that on the to-do list for tomorrow: rent a trombone.

I'm certain I'll eventually get in the routine of things and be okay. I will, right? Tell me I will. In the meantime, I'll put one foot in front of the other and wander through the school daze.

I Like Red!

So I've never gone, all by myself, to purchase a car. In fact, the last time I went car shopping at all was 20 years ago when I was pregnant with Isaiah. Our only car at that time seated only four people, and with our third child on the way, we were sort of desperate. I barely remember shopping for mini-vans, but I know we came home with a 1990 Plymouth Voyager. I was excited to have it (my newborn baby would have a place to ride!), but I hated the color, a dull, ugly blue/gray. And I had to look at that color for quite a few years because we kept that van until it literally started to smoke. That was in 2005. Yes, Isaiah, then 15, began learning to drive in that very van. His perception of that scenario: "Learning to drive in a car that your parents bought before you were even born is just wrong on so many levels."

In 2005, when that old gray van was emitting charcoal black smoke and I had to stop every 30 feet to add water, Gerald finally replaced it with the van we currently drive, a 2004 Oldsmobile Silhouette. Okay, I didn't think there was a color uglier than the blue/gray, but no, I was mistaken . Our current van is the most boring tan color you can imagine. Blah, blah, and more blah!

I decided we really needed a second reliable vehicle to get through this next Montana winter. Last year we limped along with the van plus an old beater car that worked only sometimes, but this year, Eli is so busy that I didn't think we could do that again. So car shopping I went. All by myself. When I arrived at the dealership, it occurred to me that they might expect me to have some idea what I was shopping for. Hmmm. Sure enough, the salesperson's first question was something like, "What kind of car are you looking for?"

My response: "I like red!"

"Okay, red. Could you tell me anything else about what you would like?

"Bright red?"

Okay, yes, I'm exaggerating, but only a little. I really have no knowledge of cars. I don't care about them much either. I'm not impressed by fancy cars that do fancy things. I just want a basic car that starts when I turn the key and then takes me to where I need to go. That is exactly what I told the salesperson. He was very kind; he overlooked my utter ignorance and led me to a bright red Toyota Corolla. It was the prettiest color I've ever seen on a car. He gave me the key and told me to take my time. I got in and drove around for half an hour or so. It worked fine, so I went back and told him I would buy it. That simple.

I've heard some people say that shopping for a car can be extremely stressful and time-consuming, but I'm convinced it doesn't have to be. My advice: Just go in and tell them you like red.

"Press 1 for English"

I recently read a friend's Facebook status, which struck a chord that ultimately became the impetus for this post. I wish I had her exact words, but I just now looked, and she has cleansed her wall of all earlier posts. So I am roughly paraphrasing from memory (faulty memory at that), and I know I won't get it even close to right, but the general idea was a response to all the folks who seem to be so disturbed about having to "Press 1 for English" here in America. She suggested that Jesus probably wouldn't mind pressing 1 for English because he did so much more than merely tolerate people; indeed, he honored and embraced people regardless of background, ethnicity, and certainly language. Sorry, Steff, I know I didn't come close here, but I hope that was at least the basic theme.

What she said is so true. If we truly seek to follow Jesus, we will include, not exclude, others. We will celebrate diversity and honor those of varied backgrounds rather than expecting everyone to be just like us. We will recognize that while our way of life may be great, it is not the only one that's great.

Honoring others' languages is one way to start. I remember when we lived in Washington, around 50% of students in the public schools were Hispanic and spoke English as a second language. Consequently, all the signs in the elementary schools were bilingual, both English and Spanish. What a wonderful opportunity for my children! They were exposed to a foreign language from the time they entered kindergarten. When we came to Montana six years ago, Eli came home from school and reported, "School was good except there are no signs to tell you how to say the words in Spanish." He saw this as a definite disadvantage. So did I.

Learning a foreign language opens up a world that is otherwise intangible. Since language so often defines culture, learning the language of another group of people provides insight into their worldview in a way that nothing else can. The experience is invaluable. I am not bilingual myself, but I wish I was. In college, I diligently studied the German language, trying my best to become competent. I hung around foreign exchange students in order to immerse myself in the language, and it paid off. I was actually pretty good once upon a time, but that time was over 20 years ago, and sadly, I have forgotten much. Speaking a foreign language fluently is a goal that, for me, is yet unfulfilled.

But Gerald can do it, and I will admit that I am sometimes envious. He has spent all his adult life working to become fluent in Spanish, and that time and effort has been well spent. On our recent Costa Rica adventure, he demonstrated the ability to effortlessly converse with the people everywhere we went. He would tell you he's not quite fluent, but I would disagree. I was there. He can talk to anyone about anything with barely any difficulty. I would love to be able to do that.

I want my children to be exposed to many different people from a variety of backgrounds. I want them to appreciate the differences while understanding that we are essentially all one family, the human family, created by a loving God. Language is one way they can experience those cultural differences and also appreciate the similarities. In Europe, one can travel only a short distance and be in a foreign county. Here in the United States, it's more difficult. Unless we're fortunate enough to travel extensively, we have to rely on others to bring their cultures, including language, to us.

As my friend so eloquently suggested, Jesus probably wouldn't mind pressing 1 for English. I certainly don't mind either.