Grace remains, even in the messiness!

Sometimes you just need to lean into the grace.

Not only the grace of God, but also God's grace reflected in people. 

Good people. 

Kind people. 

They are everywhere. 

You just have to look!

These past couple weeks, it's been easier for me and my family to look at the messiness. A couple of incidents, including a very personal attack on my character, have made it challenging for us to view others as the beloved children of Heavenly Parents that they are, to focus on their divine heritage.

But we have to do exactly that. 

We absolutely have to. 

So today I'd like to spotlight a few specific examples of those who extend grace. First, an employee at the new 7-11 by our house. Everyone there is friendly; they welcome customers verbally as they enter. But this girl is especially nice, so nice that oftentimes when I go up to pay for my Diet Coke refill, she says, "You're good. I got you," motioning me out the door. And it's not so much the free Diet Coke that makes the difference (though that's super nice); it's more the way she says it and how she looks at me. I don't know this woman at all. We aren't friends. I don't even know her name. But in that moment when she says "You're good. I got you," I feel like she really does. It's a quiet kindness that she radiates outward. Grace.

Second, my strength training guru, Courtney. This summer, I've had the opportunity to attend her weekly strength circuit class. She is a skilled trainer and teacher, and I've clearly upped my fitness game since working with her. Now, when I'm lifting at home, I hear her voice in my head, "shoulders back," "abs tight," "wrists straight," "good self correction." But that is not why I mention her in this post. More important than those things, Courtney is kind. She is gentle and not judgmental. I am not physically strong; I'm probably the weakest person she's ever worked with. And yet, I never feel that way in her class. Her encouragement pushes me to try harder, to not give up, and to be proud of the smallest victories. Grace.

Third, the staff at Bluffdale Dental. Like many people, I don't enjoy going to the dentist. I have childhood trauma of sitting for what seemed like hours, my jaw open far too wide, cotton stuffed into my gums, and the crunching and grinding as they extracted four of my permanent teeth in preparation for braces. This, followed by the pain, oh so much pain, once the Novocain wore off. Dentistry has improved markedly since the 70s, but I'm still anxious. However, at Bluffdale Dental, from the front office staff to the assistants, the hygienists, and dentists, they treat the whole person, not just their teeth. They make certain patients are comfortable throughout treatment. The atmosphere is calm and friendly; you never feel like they're in a hurry. And they must take notes, because they somehow remember details from my life after a full six months! Grace.

Fourth, the women in my Bunco group. We are a diverse bunch in many ways, but all of these ladies have become my friends, regardless of any differences. We laugh much, talk continuously, eat way too much food, and eventually, even squeeze in some Bunco. It's such a low-key group. I think the leader, Whitney, does much to create and preserve that vibe. People feel welcome, the 12 regulars as well as any subs. It's a good place to hang out and much cheaper than therapy. Grace.

These are just a few examples of kind folks who extended grace to me, in a week that seemed woefully lacking. They reminded me that good people are everywhere and that....

....grace remains, even in the messiness!

A Quiet Place

Thursday morning July 4th, Eli, Shulamith, Swen, and I stopped by Holiday to fill our Stanleys with Diet Coke, then headed to Riverton Cinemark to watch "A Quiet Place: Day One," the prequel to the franchise, whose plot centers on an alien attack on earth by hundreds of giant, hairy, humanoid monsters, who respond only to sound and are apparently blind and unable to swim. In order to avoid being attacked and eaten, everyone must be completely silent.

This makes for a very quiet movie.

Ironically, that same day, my own home returned to its typical "quiet place."

Lemme just tell you that I make a terrible empty nester. I seriously suck at it. Because our children are spread out by 15 years oldest to youngest, I had some combination of children, teens, and young adults living in my home for well over three decades. It was pure delight! When Seth left on his mission in 2018, Isaiah was back with us, after graduating from college and dealing with several crazy, awful roommates, so even with Seth gone to Paraguay for two years, I still had Isaiah! When COVID shut down the world, and Seth returned four months early with all the other North American missionaries, I had both my cute boys home with me through the pandemic. 

In the fall of 2022, Seth moved to Orem to finish his degree at UVU, and Isaiah found a studio apartment in downtown Salt Lake. They did this all in the same month (rude!), and suddenly, for the very first time, I was an empty nester. 

I didn't like it. 

I still don't. 

We're told to deal with life's changes by looking for the good in the new situation wherever we can find it. The one and only good thing about having my five kids out of the house is the two additional closets available. I can now rotate my wardrobe through the seasons, rather than storing off-season clothes in plastic tubs under the bed. Hooray! 

This in no way compensates for how much I miss my favorite people on earth. Not even close.

Fast forward to May 2024. Gerald and I went to the Pacific Northwest to visit our families. Our first night there at nearly 11 p.m., I received this text from Amanda: "Everyone is okay. Can I call?" My family and close friends understand my anxiety and know never to just call me without any warning. Most of them are pretty good at doing what Amanda just did, assuring me that all is well before moving to the reason for the text. 

"Yes!" I replied. "Call me!"

My phone alerted me to her call, and she explained that their house sprung a leak from the second-floor bathroom, and water was pouring down into the garage. Eeeeek! She had shut off the water, leaving no way to bathe or cook or whatever, so she asked if they could go stay at my house. Of course! Late that night, the three of them drove over to our house and moved in. 

That was two months ago. Their situation was frighteningly uncertain at the start, when an over-zealous insurance agent claimed emphatically that the damages would not be covered: "We never cover mold, never," she maintained. But a couple days later, she called back (less zealous) to report that while she'd never seen it happen in all her time working there, Eli and Amanda's agent had, indeed, adjusted their policy to cover mold. (Note to self: Make sure your homeowner's policy is thorough.)

Everything would be covered, minus the $1,000 deductible. Oh the joy and relief! They would also be reimbursed for housing, since their home was deemed "unlivable"; thankfully, this reimbursement would more than cover the deductible, far more. A sad and scary incident turned into a blessing. They would get a brand new bathroom and some unexpected cash. And I had my Eli and his family here with me. I was not an empty nester at all.

Our two months together were not without excitement. One day, their 2.5-year-old daughter, Jane, found herself a red Sharpie and decided to try out her artistic talents on my white fabric couch. Amanda jumped into action, researching how to get Sharpie out of light fabric, and then spent countless, tiring hours, for several days treating the stain until it was completely gone. 

I also have a white throw pillow with the names Terrianne, Gerald, Luke, Shulamith, Isaiah, Eli, and Seth on the front. I prefer this pillow to be on my couch. Jane prefers it to be on the floor. She and I played this game nearly every day for the full two months, and I can report with only the slightest humiliation that Jane won every last time.

But the joy far outweighed any inconvenience. I've always felt that multigenerational living has huge advantages over isolated, single-family residences. Historically, it was the norm in the U.S., until the post-war industrial boom of the 50s pushed people to believe the "American Dream" included a home for every couple, separate from their parents. That said, the trend toward multigenerational living has made a fairly strong comeback in recent decades, partly the result of a struggling economy, but possibly for other reasons too.

Our home in Sandy was designed for multiple families with its daylight basement apartment with separate entrance and kitchen; alas, this house is not. Still, we had such a fun two months together, and although we are all grateful that Eli and Amanda's house is now fully repaired, I think we all felt a bittersweet melancholy when they moved back home Thursday. I think we're still feeling it two days later.

Today, after a lovely, 5-mile walk in the cool morning, I cleaned my four bathrooms and started laundry. Then I lay in my zero gravity bed and watched a movie. It was relaxing, yes. 

But I miss them. Really, I do. I was never cut out to be an empty nester. And my home was never cut out to be.....

......a quiet place.

We're halfway to Christmas. Celebrate hard!

Sunday afternoon, I drove home from church and began to prep food for dinner. It was quiet in my house...and peaceful. As I husked corn and speared potatoes, I was suddenly pulled from the calm, thrilled to hear the familiar Christmas song "There's No Place like Home for the Holidays" play on my Alexa. I stopped immediately, and waited anxiously for the phrase, "...Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie" so I could shout "He Wanted Pie!" 

I was so happy! On our Frame TV was a picture of a present, beautifully wrapped for Christmas, and on our dining table, my Charlie Brown tree surrounded by presents:

In our family, June brings a delightful (albeit fake) holiday called Halfway Christmas. We select a day close to June 25th to celebrate the fact that we are halfway to our favorite holiday of the year! This was our eighth year of this marvelous tradition. If you want to know more, the above link tells the story of 2017, and how the first Halfway Christmas came to be, and here are links to our subsequent celebrations: 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, and 2023. 

As always, it was joyous from start to finish. Amanda made yummy cinnamon rolls, and we all ate them, some of us before church, some after, some both (I may or may not be in that last group.) Later, Shulamith smoked ribs and made a pasta salad. I did the easier stuff: corn on the cob, baked potatoes, and strawberry shortcake. 

After dinner, we opened gifts, one each, one at a time. Everyone seemed happy and grateful, but I think Seth and I tied for the "most excited" prize. I had Seth's name and gave him a new disc for disc golfing, his favorite hobby. Mathew, who doesn't even like the "real" Christmas so definitely doesn't participate in "Halfway," kindly chose a disc for Seth, because I had no idea which ones are good. I added in two black, beaded bracelets, and Seth was delighted with everything.

When it was my turn, my gift was carefully wrapped, yes WRAPPED, not in a bag! I've been wanting a felt letter board to write messages, but I wasn't expecting to get one for Halfway; I didn't think it was possible to find a good one within our $20 price limit. Gerald had my name and, evidently, asked Shulamith for gift suggestions (always a good idea!). Then he found me the perfect letter board (picture top of page). 

Other cool gifts included soft pajama pants for Shulamith, an Amazon gift card for Gerald, a Target gift card for Eli (so he can buy more video games, even though he has several that aren't even opened yet), stuffed Dino Nuggets for Swen and Kennedy, a rock collection for Theodore, and a bouncing ball with handles for Jane. Amanda's gift is still a mystery, but Seth says it's due to arrive at our house today!

After presents, we played a few rounds of "Hot Seat," which brought much laughter but also TERROR, as I learned that Shulamith once provided a ride home to two complete strangers (dudes!), late at night after her serving shift at Macaroni Grill. Seriously???

We're halfway to our favorite holiday, and THAT warrants a celebration! We celebrated hard, and here are more pics to prove it: