I can't post about Black Friday until I finish October!

Yes, I know. I'm woefully behind. This has been the semester from hell, but it's almost over, and I am catching up on life. Especially blogging! And I can't write about our killer Black Friday yesterday until I finish up October, so here you go...

I wrote about General Conference. And I wrote about my shared birthday with Vice President Kamala Harris. Then, the month got away from me as I faced mid-semester writing projects from students in all eight of my classes. But October did not end with my birthday on the 20th. Not at all.

On October 26th, Eli and Amanda hosted their annual Halloween bash, once again a glowing success! We ate way too many treats, guessed how many pieces of candy were in a jar, and threw marshmallows at each other, but the highlight is always the famous mummy wrap.

Three days later on the 29th, Eli and Amanda's baby girl turned 3 years old. Happy birthday, Jane! They had a party for her earlier in the month. 

On her actual birthday, I hung our at their house and watched her open presents, well mostly watched; I fell asleep for part it (very long day), but woke up in time to see her open my present (clothes). After eight or nine toys, Jane's only comment on the two dresses and a pants outfit: "I don't like this stuff." All in all, we loved celebrating Jane, who is a happy, smart, and utterly hilarious three-year-old.

Finally, Halloween! I had class way up at the U. of Utah main campus that evening, so I was late getting back to the trick-or-treating festivities. Shulamith's kids were all off with their friends, so she and I tagged along with Eli and Amanda and Jane, who was fully committed to gathering as much candy as she possibly could, despite the freezing cold.

October is usually my favorite month. This year it came and went, and I felt like I was only barely above drowning. Most days, I wasn't sure I would come out the other side. But I did. With less than a week remaining in the semester, I know I will finish, and it feels so good. 

So while October and November were chaotic, December is gonna be bliss!

(Stay tuned for the report on what was possibly the most productive Black Friday in the history of Terrianne and Shulamith. For real.)

Triage: Stop the bleeding!

Me: I'm not gonna make it. I can't get this all done. There is no way. I'm probably gonna die.

Shulamith: You say that every semester.

Me: No, this is different.

Shulamith: You say that too.

Me: NO!! This time is totally different!

And it has been. The picture above is my desk in my home office, where I work most days. This revolving triage list is designed to prioritize the most urgent things I should be doing at every moment. With two weeks remaining in the semester, only in the past couple days have I felt confident that I will, indeed, finish it alive. Just before the semester began, I accepted a one-year, temporary, full-time position at SLCC. While I suspended teaching at UVU (with the promise from them that I can return next fall), I kept my three U. of Utah classes for two reasons. First, my new position at SLCC is a temporary, one-year contract. I have zero guarantee that it will renew in the fall, and it has nothing to do with me or my qualifications or performance, but solely with department needs and student enrollment. We have two full-time faculty on sabbatical this year, and they will return in the fall. There is no way to know how that could affect my temporary position. Second, the U. of Utah pays head and shoulders better than the other two schools. It's hard to turn down that kind of income.

It's been wild ride these past 3.5 months. Yikes! I have five classes at SLCC and three at the U. So many students. So many emails. So many essays! Plus the department meetings and tasks that are required in a full-time position. I will have a full month off beginning Dec 5th, before the chaos starts all over again, and I am crazy excited! I'm gonna play so hard, hurkle-durkle in my bed and binge TV, read every single thing that is not a college essay, take naps, walk miles and miles, and not even log onto Canvas or Outlook! I will sleep. So much sleep, uninterrupted by anxiety dreams about ridiculous stuff I'm convinced I was supposed to do and didn't. Once I even dreamed that I was supposed to teach one of my classes a dance routine but forgot. 

My break is still two weeks out...

Meanwhile, I'll keep on keepin' on. A few things have kept me almost sane, and I'll cling to those right till the end. Most significantly, my commitment to practicing self care. That means eating well, maintaining at least a minimal social life, and exercising. I'm blessed to have my best friend just out my back door and left 100 steps; two of my sons, plus bonus kid Amanda, 5-7 minutes away, another son in downtown SLC; and Emily up in Sandy. All these guys have kept me going, and I'm so grateful to each of them in different ways. Finally, through it all, I've stayed dedicated to regular exercise: 10,000+ steps a day, strength-training 4-5 days a week, including one morning a week at Courtney's 6:00 a.m. circuit class. I really believe exercise has made all the difference.

What has suffered most and what I've missed most notably is my regular blogging. It's more than just a hobby; for me, writing is therapy. Since the semester began, I've written only six blog posts, four on itslegs and two on my church blog. That is positively pathetic, considering how prolific the blog typically is. But something had to give, and that was it. 

Other than my birthday and General Conference, I missed the events of October altogether, so I'll be writing about those in a second post later today or tomorrow. I'm taking a tiny break to catch up before all the final writing projects start pouring in. 

So look for a new itslegs post right on top of this one! Hooray!

The worst part of all was seeing my kids so sad!

They say a mother is only ever as happy as her saddest child. 

It's true.

So as heartsick as I felt Tuesday night, the worst part of all was seeing my kids so sad. We all had so much hope. Eight years ago, when Donald J. Trump won the presidency the first time, I wrote this. I didn't like him. He had shown no decency; he had earned no respect. I had listened to his spiteful, venomous rhetoric throughout the campaign, his hatred toward our Muslim sisters and brothers and our hard-working Mexican immigrants; his excessive greed, his p***y-grabbing, outright distain for women. 

Still, at that point I didn't know what he was truly capable of. 

We..... didn't know. 

Now, we know. 

We watched as he stole one SCOTUS nominee from President Obama, winding up with three in total, who then turned the clock back 50 years on women's rights, freedom, and healthcare. We watched as he called those of us who disagree with his policies "the enemy from within," seeking to further divide an already polarized nation. We watched as he separated children from their families at our southern border, while trying to block all Muslims from entering the country. He is a 78-year-old convicted felon who was found liable for sexual assault! He refused to leave office peacefully when he lost the 2020 election to President Joe Biden, fueling a violent attack on the U.S. Capitol in order to stop the electoral vote-counting. He is currently under indictment on several different counts. 

And he told us during his recent campaign that he would be a "dictator" on Day 1. 

Now, we know. 

Now, we've elected him to a second term of office. 

And now, we have no excuse.

Be clear. Dictatorial tyranny is not just something we hear about in countries far away; the United States is not immune. Trump told us what he'll do. If we deliver this man a full trifecta, he's gonna do whatever he pleases, without constraint. Pray hard we don't lose the House. 

My family has been in varying stages of grief the past three days, fear for what lies ahead but also regret for what we gave up. We had such a good, good alternative. Kamala Harris and Tim Walz ran a fabulous campaign. Unlike their opponents, they sought to strengthen and unify people, to lift the discouraged, to hear the unheard, and to gather the isolated. I'm confident they would have made a wonderful President and Vice President, and we would have felt the impact of their strong, positive leadership for generations. 

Thank you, Kamala and Tim. I will never forget you. I will never forget the spirit of your campaign or how it made me feel inside. In the final days, Tim Walz asked supporters to consider a conversation they might have decades from now, when someone asks them what they did in the 2024 election to ensure an outcome that preserved democracy and promised hope, love, and joy. And our answer would be, "Every damn thing we could!"

Well that's what you did, Kamala and Tim! You ran relentlessly. You never stopped fighting. You never stopped reaching out. You never gave up on the core values you believe in. And though in the end, it wasn't enough, though in the end the American people preferred a rapist and convicted felon whose presence brings only anger, fear, and sadness, please know this....

You did every damn thing you could.