When It Shines, It Burns

The title of this post is designed to replace the common adage, "When it rains, it pours," which means when one unfortunate thing happens, more misfortune tends to follow closely. I rather dislike that statement as it associates rain with something adverse. Lots of other sayings do the same; in fact, I even wrote about this way back in 2009, in one of my earliest posts to this blog. 

They're dead wrong. Rain is the absolute best weather. In heaven, it will rain every single day. No doubt.

So I changed it up to something that makes sense: When it shines, it burns. Much better.

I barely know where to begin. On its own, I believe I could handle any one of these things, but together, they are kinda crushing me. Yikes!

First, we are right smack in the process of selling our house. It was actually listed on the MLS just yesterday, but getting to this point was quite a process. My realtor decided there were "just a few" upgrades I should do that would significantly increase the home's value. Okay then. If I hire a realtor, I do so because I believe he knows better than I do about real estate sales. If he says to get new carpet installed, place sod in the backyard, buy a new range for the downstairs apartment, paint the dining room and part of the living room, pour mulch in the front garden area, and buy cute bowls to put on an open shelf in the kitchen, I'm totally on it. One day in the future, if we have a successful outcome with all this, I will tell you more specifics. For now I'll just say that I never, ever, in a million years could have prepped this house for sale without tremendous help from two lovely ladies named Shulamith and Amanda.

Also, have I mentioned we have two dogs living with us? Oh yes, right here. Well, dogs can't go on newly laid sod. That means for the past two weeks, I've had to keep both dogs inside (you wouldn't even believe how happy they are about this!) and take them out for walks and bathroom breaks multiple times each day, at the same time I'm trying to grow new grass in 100-degree heat with no underground sprinkler system. My days are almost totally consumed with moving sprinklers around and walking dogs, while pleading with them to go to the bathroom.

Second, this happened:

Before you ask, yes, I'm fine, 100% fine. At least physically. It was a minor accident, totally my fault, at very slow speeds. Why all this damage, you ask? Because the other driver had a huge, huge rig, with a giant crowbar nailed across the front. I might as well have been hit by an airplane. And yes, my car is totaled. So that's awesome. I'm grateful for good insurance which will fully pay off the loan, but for now I have no car. Haven't decided if or when I might get another one. Seth bought his own car recently, so I no longer need to provide his transportation, and Shulamith takes me most places. 

Third, the COVID-19 virus continues to spread. It isn't even close to controlled. Why aren't we making progress toward controlling it here in Utah? Lots of reasons, but the simplest one is that some people here don't want to wear masks. They believe science is a diabolical plot, concocted by liberals, to rob them of their freedoms. Even with a mask mandate, many won't comply. I don't go in public places very often, but when I do, I see unmasked faces everywhere. The scariest part is that most public schools, including Eli's, are opening in under two weeks. I'm terrified. 

Fourth, when I woke up this morning, Donald Trump was still the president. It wasn't just a bad dream that lasted 3.5 years.

On its own, I could have handled any one of these things. Together, it's been pretty rough. You know, that opportunistic anxiety that says, "Oh my, I see a nice window here." Anyway, I'll be okay. But the old adage about rain, transformed, has proven true: When it shines, it burns!

What do you do in the middle of a pandemic when you have a million things to do?

...you go to Moab to visit Arches National Park. Because you can.

It's true. I am knee deep in numerous house projects as we prepare to list our home on the market in the next two weeks, and it's Week #6 of my 8-week consolidated summer semester so I'm also buried in school work. And then of course there's the COVID-19 pandemic that keeps me up nights checking to see if I am still breathing and if my body temperature is normal.

Good times.

Nevertheless, when the family started talking about a weekend trip to Moab, I was all in. When it came time to actually go, I was less enthusiastic. "I have so much to do here," I thought. "How can I leave town for three days?" But we'd already booked the AirBnb, so off we went. As timing would have it, our backyard sod, which was scheduled to be laid two weeks ago, was pushed back to yesterday (thank you, again, COVID virus), so that meant our two dogs couldn't be outside while we were away. Ack! I hired two cute kids from our ward to care for them, which involved coming over multiple times during the weekend to let them out, along with the regular task of giving them food and water. Thank you so much, Braiden and Ella. You rock!

Though the timing of this trip couldn't have been worse, now that we're back, I'm so glad we went. I've lived in Utah nine years, and before yesterday, I'd never been to Moab or climbed on the crazy cool red rocks in the park there. We really had such a fun morning, while it was still cool enough to enjoy it. Here's the proof:

So if you have the chance to get out of town and hang out in nature with your family, even if you're up to your eyeballs in other stuff you need to do, I say, go! Do it. The rest will take care of itself. I've been online doing school stuff ever since we got home, and now it's time to water the new sod and take the dogs out on leashes for walks and bathroom breaks. Cuz, you know, the sod needs to be watered twice daily for 30-40 minutes, and the dogs still can't be on the new sod, not for 2.5 weeks. That means these two mostly outside dogs are now full-on house dogs. They seem to be loving it thus far:

Me? Absolutely. I love taking dogs out on leashes multiple times every day for the next 2.5 weeks. Can't wait.

But then yesterday, I got to stand under this giant arch on top of the world, and it was awesome. So there's that.

P.S. It should be noted that Eli and Amanda and Gerald were also with us. We just weren't ever all in the park at the same time, so they escaped pictures. But we had four of our five kids with us, which was fabulous.

"Let's Find Out!"

This is always Isaiah's response to the question, "What does this one do?"

"Let's find out!"

For Isaiah, at least half the fun of lighting fireworks is the uncertainty. He gets a rush from not knowing, and I'm guessing he's not alone. I'm sure others thrive on the thrill of lighting a fuse, running away, and watching to see what happens. The uncertainty is part of the adventure.

If Isaiah is representative of this group, they also tend to refrain from committing to anything very far in advance. Leaving their options open provides a world full of opportunity. It's all just awesome.

But let me be clear: I am not one of these people.

I do not like uncertainty.
I do not like surprises (unless they're wrapped in beautiful red and green Christmas paper).
And open options??? As Shulamith's high school cheer squad used to shout, "Oh, child, please!"

I like plans. Lovely, predictable, well thought out, plans. And I like my life to go according to those plans. There's comfort in what some may call a boring life, but I'm just fine with boring. This may figure into my dislike for lighting fireworks. They're unpredictable, and unpredictable is scary. They seem dangerous, and also, they're so loud.

That said, one thing I love even more than I dislike fireworks is the bonding relationship among my sons. I love them so much, and it makes my heart happy when they are together. Isaiah, Eli, and Seth all love lighting fireworks, and this year, oh my goodness! Seth is back from Paraguay, so the three of them went on a bro outing Friday to stockpile an incredible amount of crap to light off.

The 4th of July is hands down my least favorite holiday, but I go outside anyway. I brave the loud noises, the sudden explosions, the unsettling mayhem, just to see my boys happy. And happy they were!

Some of us sat a safe distance away from the action.

...while still enjoying the show:

It was a good celebration despite the current COVID crisis. I've decided that just as I'm no fan of the uncertainty of fireworks, it's the uncertainty of this virus that causes so much stress, even for those of you without anxiety disorders. For me, it's a perfect storm. So many questions. Yesterday I was suddenly overcome with emotion, asking all those questions, the ones that have no answers. Will it ever be safe for me to fly to Portland and visit my family? Will I ever stop being afraid of everyone around me? Will I ever get to work in the temple again? Eat inside a restaurant? Go to a movie theatre? All the things I miss most.

"Let's find out," Isaiah would say. I wish it were as simple as lighting a firework.