Down by the Sea - Road Trip to Oregon - Part 2 of 3

It goes without saying I'm not a sun worshiper. I like rain. Anyone who knows me, knows this. Close friends sometimes even refer to rain as "Terrianne weather," as in "We are having some excellent Terrianne weather today." It would follow, then, that I would not be a "beach" kind of girl. We associate the ocean with sunshine, warmth, and blue sky, certainly not with rain. But then we all know I'm often a walking paradox: a smart phone addict technophobe, an animal-loving ophidiophobe, a liberal Democrat Mormon (which is actually a perceived paradox, not a real one), just to cite a few examples. Ha! Anyway, I do love the ocean, sunshine and all. Okay, yes, I'd prefer a rainy, overcast day at the beach, but I'll take it however I can get it. Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, I became accustomed to going to the beach whenever I wanted, a situation I definitely took for granted. Landlocked here in Utah, I miss it.

So last week, when we visited Portland, we spent one day in Seaside, on the beautiful Oregon Coast. I have memories of going there as a child. My family took very few vacations, but we did visit Seaside for a weekend at least once a year. My four older children (before Seth's time) share those same memories because my mom took them to Seaside each year to celebrate the 4th of July. We all remember riding bikes along the prom, feeding the seals at the aquarium, eating copious amounts of food at the Pig 'N Pancake, playing Fascination, riding the Tilt-A-Whirl and Bumper Cars, and watching fireworks from out on the beach.

Because Seth never had this opportunity, it was fun to take him last week. Not much changes in Seaside. It looked pretty much the same as I remember. Initially, thick fog made the actual ocean impossible to see. "Is there really water out there?" Seth wanted to know. "Yep, you will just have to trust me." We wandered the town, ate some ice cream and fudge, rode the Tilt-A-Whirl (Seth and I), and browsed shops. After lunch, Shulamith noticed a bit of blue sky to the west. Maybe Seth wouldn't have to take my word for it after all. Sure enough! We wandered back to the beach, and the fog had lifted, allowing a majestic view of the Pacific Ocean. It was fairly warm, too, warm enough to go wading and wave-jumping. Here are some pictures of our fun:

Seth and I jumping waves!

Swen with his grandma

Our two boys playing in the sand

Swen and Mommy

Buried alive!

Mom, Seth, and Shulamith

Swen and I

I would say this was the best day of our trip, but I'd be lying. Sort of. Instead, I will say that it is tied with the following day. But that will be Part 3, written and posted tomorrow!

Mostly Happy Trails - Road Trip to Oregon, Part 1 of 3

As I explained here, we had some trepidation about traveling 1,600 miles round trip in a car with a one-year-old. But we faced our fears and did it anyway, and although we wouldn't want to do it again any time soon, the trails were mostly happy. It was far better than either of us expected. We divided the trip into two travel days to get there and two more to get home. We we stayed in Ontario, OR on the way over and in Boise on the way back. Each of the four travel days was around six hours of driving, give or take, and of the four days, three were amazingly easy. We timed it so Swen would be napping during the morning drive, and then we stopped for long lunch breaks and let him play. That meant way too many meals at McDonald's, which has the best play areas, but it was worth it. All three of us actually love McDonald's food, but one day we ate all three meals there, and yes, that was a bit much.

My favorite McDonald's stop was in Hermiston, Oregon, the second day en route to Portland. How do YOU spell "nostalgia"? For those of you who don't know, 30 years ago today (!), Gerald and I were married in Hermiston. I only lived there under two years (he lived there longer), but still there are memories that never fade about that little town in the middle of Nowhere, Oregon. I was freshly graduated from college when I moved there for my first teaching job at Armand Larive Junior High School. Gerald had been there a few years already, working for the newspaper. A city girl, I had never lived in a place so small. I figured I would die there, single, among the tumbleweed, dust, cowboys, and girls with tattoos (no judgment here; this was before girls got tattoos). I was wrong. I met Gerald just four months after moving to Hermiston, and we were married six months later. Luke was born about a year after that, and we lived in Hermiston until he was six months old.

We didn't drive around the town as much as we would have were it not for Swen needing to GET OUT OF THE CAR, but we did go by the apartment complex Gerald and I lived in and the Shari's restaurant where we ate the night we met. Next time (distant future, but still...) I will definitely spend more time there and explore further.

I mentioned that three of our four travel days were easy. That is true. The only sketchy day was the second one driving from Ontario to Portland. Swen slept in the morning, but by the afternoon, he was pretty much "over" his car seat. Shulamith has taught him to say "up," when he wants to be picked up. Poor baby did his legit best to say "up" as clearly and as sweetly as possible, over and over, but sadly, no one could pick him up. We were in the middle of ridiculous traffic on Portland's Banfield Freeway during rush hour, trying to get from the east side of Portland over to Hillsboro, where my mother lives. It sucked, and Swen thought so too.

Our only salvation was Seth, the most awesome helper ever. The last child in the family, he never had the opportunity to be a big brother, but he'd have been a rock star at it, given the chance. He sat in the back with Swen, read him books, fed him snacks, played him Baby Einstein videos, gave him toys, sang him his favorite songs (The Itsy-Bitsy Spider, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star), and did all he could to make him happy. Honestly, we could not have done this trip without Seth. Here he is duct taping the DVD player so Swen could see it from his car seat. Thank you, Seth. You are amazing!

Not gonna lie. It was a long drive. Very long. But we are glad we went and glad the trails were mostly happy.

On the Road Again

Though I live with people who pretty much detest country music, in my heart, down deep, where it really counts, I am always longing to "go to Luckenbach, Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys." I explained about that here, so I won't go into details, but as we prepare for what, for us, is a very long road trip, I can't help but sing

On the road again -
Just can't wait to get on the road again.
The life I love is making music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again.

Okay, maybe we are wimps, Shulamith and I. I mean Celeste puts her four little kids in her van and drives all by herself from San Antonio to Salt Lake City in two days and thinks nothing of it! But for us, this road trip from here to Portland with Seth and Swen is just slightly foreboding. Keep in mind that Swen didn't always love the car. He does fine now, but six hours two days in a row and then the same thing a week later? A total of 24 hours of driving in one week? I don't know. We rented him several "Baby Einstein" DVDs from the library; no, he doesn't watch TV normally, but perhaps when he is strapped in a car seat, he will? And we got bubbles that Seth can blow for him. And we got lots of his favorite snacks.

Which brings me to my next point. Road snacks. My children believe one cannot go on a car trip longer than 30 minutes without snacks. Lots of them. I have no idea where they would get such an idea. Shopping for road snacks is an "event" in our family. So I took Shulamith and Seth to pick out their favorites, and this was the result:

Gerald said that with all these snacks, we wouldn't need to stop for meals, but that's the most ridiculous idea ever. We will stop. Probably several times. At fast food restaurants that have play areas for children. Depending on how Swen feels about this whole "road trip" deal, we could spend several hours in these restaurants.

Along with road food, we have gathered all our electronic equipment in order to keep ourselves sufficiently connected to the world. We have a power source in the car, so we can plug in the DVD players and also charge our cell phones and e-readers. We have a speaker system, so we can listen to Pandora (my personal radio station, which includes plenty of country. Sorry, Shulamith!).

Thank you very much, scientists, who developed the technology which makes possible everything in the paragraph above. Thank you very much, Gerald, who made us a list of all the exits between here and Portland and which ones have food, gas, etc, and which are designated rest areas. If Swen becomes fussy, at least we will know what is up ahead. Thank you very much, "Pioneer Day," a state holiday in Utah, which makes it possible for me to take a week off in the middle of summer semester. Wow, I feel just like Jimmy Fallon!

So we are set. By tonight we should be safely in our motel in Ontario, OR, our halfway point. Please wish us luck (lots of it) as we embark on this adventure, as we are

On the road again!

Silver Linings: If you look, you will find them!

On the TV show Drop Dead Diva, Jane's best friend Stacy is the eternal optimist. She finds joy in even the most challenging situations and radiates that joy outward to everyone she meets. In her world, the glass is always "half full." Though Stacy is a fictitious character, such people really do exist. My friend Lorrie, for example, is one such person. She has experienced tremendous heartache, dare I say more than average for someone her age; still, she always manages to find the good in people, the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, the upside to every obstacle. So many times her positive attitude has lifted me, and I love her for that. Another example is Gordon B. Hinckley, who served as President of our church from 1995 until he died in 2008. One of my favorite of his quotes says this: “Cultivate an attitude of happiness. Cultivate a spirit of optimism. Walk with faith, rejoicing in the beauties of nature, in the goodness of those you love, in the testimony which you carry in your heart concerning things divine." 

Despite the great examples of these and others, I have to admit that I'm not much of an optimist. My mom always told me to expect the worst, and I would never be disappointed. This doesn't really work because, like everyone, I've been disappointed many times, but yeah, I tend to be a "glass half empty" type of girl. I "worst case scenario" absolutely everything! So when I decided to take care of Shulamith's baby overnight last night (story on that here), I fully expected I would be up most of the night. It would be an "awake-over" not a sleepover. And I was absolutely right. We spent a fabulous evening at the mall. I love taking Swen places and pretending he's mine. He ran all over the play area and climbed on every dinosaur he could reach. We ate yummy Panda in the food court. We watched the torrential rain pour from the sky, rain so hard it caused a leak in the roof of South Towne Center. But ultimately, we had to face the scary reality: Night time.

I rocked Swen to sleep at 10:45. His first stretch was a whole two hours, so not too bad. After that, the sleep increments became shorter. He awoke at 12:45, 1:30, 2:30, 3:15, 4:00, 4:07, and 4:30. Each time I rocked him gently back to sleep, sweet little pie in my arms. At 4:30, I forsook the crib and put him in bed next to me, and he slept until 6:00 a.m. Then he was wide awake and ready to play. Me? Oh yeah, for sure. Now you might think this was a horrible night, but let me just remind you that like Stacy, Lorrie, and President Hinckley, I know how to look for those silver linings. At least sometimes I do. And if you look, you will find them. There are many to be found in this scenario:

• Swen is still alive.
• I am still alive.
• We still like each other.
• Shulamith got to sleep a full nine hours in an ultra-comfortable king-sized bed, with no interruptions.
• After attending Sacrament Meeting this morning, I returned home and had the longest, loveliest, most luxurious nap ever. In fact, I just now woke up.
• In about 45 minutes, two cute sister missionaries will arrive at my house for dinner. 
• They won't mind at all if I talk on and on about Eli. They understand that their moms miss them too.

Look at all those silver linings. Who says I'm not an optimist?

Three words, Swen: Bring. It. On.

As many of you know, Shulamth's baby is now over a year old. More precisely, he is thirteen months and two weeks. In those thirteen months, two weeks, he has brought Shulamith and Mathew greater joy than either of them, in their wildest dreams, could have imagined. Parenthood is like that. You think you know what it is to love, to care, to sacrifice, to cherish. You think you know. But then you have a child and realize you had no idea at all. As we serve those tiny humans, we are transformed. Our naturally self-absorbed personalities diminish. We become better. It is as close as we get here on earth to understanding the depth of love our Father in Heaven has for each of us. It is a miracle.

In Swen's short life of thirteen months, two weeks, he has been enveloped in love. His parents have delighted in his every move, rejoiced in each new developmental step: his first smile, his first laugh, his first crawl, his first step, his first word! They are head-over-heels in love with him! Accordingly, they have nurtured him through the challenging times: a premature birth, his utter disdain for his car seat in the early months, his first illness, and yes...the long and brutal and relentless sleepless nights.

Which brings me to the actual point of this post. I can't say that any of my own babies were great sleepers. I've heard about such babies. "My baby has been sleeping through the night since he was four weeks old." Meh, meh, meh. No. Not mine. All five of my babies fought sleep. All five kept me up to the point that I moved through life in a perpetual haze, that feeling that in every activity, I was pushing through water, and try though I might, I could not escape. Eventually, though, they improved. They got better. They slept. And by the time they were a year old, I'm pretty sure all five were sleeping through most nights. I'm pretty sure.

Not so with Baby Swen. Not even close. He hasn't improved. I promised Shulamith he would, but I lied. On occasion, he'll have a "good" night where he wakes up only 5 or 6 times, rather than 20 or 30 or more, but even those are rare. I am not exaggerating. It's that bad. Shulamith has tried everything she can think of (that fits her parenting style) to get him to stay asleep. She has researched. She has read. She has asked for suggestions from online moms' groups. She has rocked him and walked him and sung to him and read to him. She has established a bedtime routine with bath, jammies, and story. She has given him a blankie to snuggle. She bought a noise machine. She has tried both bottles and a pacifier, though he doesn't typically use either. Nothing has worked. Consequently, she is more than sleep deprived; she is utterly exhausted.

But this coming Saturday, she will have some respite. She will spend one entire night away from Swen. Remember how President George W. Bush made it a national priority to "leave no child untested"? As a sad result, kids in public schools go through a ridiculous process of worthless and counterproductive  test-taking each year, beginning even in kindergarten. In Shulamith's final year of teaching just before Swen was born, her kindergarten team won an award because their students performed better on their tests than others in the district. The prize was an overnight stay at the Grand America Hotel in downtown SLC and breakfast the following morning. Woo! However, the prize coupon expires July 31st, just three weeks from now. She must use it or lose it.

At first, she assumed they would take Swen with them, but then she began to contemplate just how it might be to leave him home. How would it feel to sleep an entire night? After so long, what would her body even do with a full night's rest? And she decided to find out. We began to discuss the possibility of Swen staying home. Now granted, he and I know each other well. I have spent parts of every day of his life with him. We chill together regularly. We are pretty good friends. When he was younger, we would keep score of our ongoing battles to get him to fall asleep for naps. While it often took a long time, the score always remained the same: Terrianne: 100 (and gaining); Swen: 0. I always won.  But no, I have never been with him O-V-E-R-N-I-G-H-T (think scary music playing in the background)!!!

Shulamith has described Swen and his nights in several ways, including

"Never-ending nightmare"

"Torture chamber"

"Horror movie"

"Monster child"

(With this one, I remind her that when his father's last name is MONson, and his mother's last name is webSTER, what did she expect?)

Two of my favorite lines from the past year are "I think Baby is killing you" (Matt) and "I am NOT a 24-hour restaurant!" (Shulamith).

You get the idea.

Before we decided for sure that he would stay home, Shulamith tried to warn me about what I was getting myself into. "You don't want to do this, Mom. You have no idea what it's like. You think you want to, but you don't." Well, actually, she's right. I don't fully understand what I'm getting into, and no, I don't look forward to staying up all night with a tired, cranky baby, who wants to nurse but can't. Not my idea of fun. But what Shulamith doesn't understand is this: I love my baby as much as she loves her baby. And my baby hasn't had more than three hours of consecutive sleep in the past 13 months!

So I am ready and willing to give her the gift of sleep this Saturday night. I've stayed up all night before on two occasions, and I survived. Both times involved babies. The night Isaiah was born, I went into labor at around 5:00 p.m., but he wasn't born until 3:30 the following morning. By the time everything was wrapped up, including my newest and most beautiful baby boy, it was 7:00 a.m., and people began showing up to meet him. So I never slept. Then, just thirteen months and two weeks ago, Matt and I took a very sick Shulamith to the hospital at 1:00 a.m., and Swen was delivered by emergency C-section the following morning. I didn't sleep that night either. 

So here's the deal, Swen. If you decide to make this an "awake-over" rather than a "sleepover," so be it. I'm down. Three words: Bring. It. On.

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