Today It Rained. And I Remembered.

There is a name for people like me. It's Pluviophile. It means "a lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days."

Ten years have passed since I lived in the Pacific Northwest. I enjoyed our seven years in Montana, and Utah is okay too, but home for me will always be the lovely Northwest, whether Washington or Oregon. And I think that's mostly because of the rain.

I often wonder if I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, only mine is opposite of most people's. The cloudier it is, the happier I am! Nothing improves my mood more than waking to the drizzle of rain with an overcast sky. Problem is, that barely ever happens here.

But today it did. Today it rained. And I remembered.

I awoke in the middle of last night, startled by lightening bright in my bedroom, followed by crashing thunder and then pouring rain. Over and over my room lit up. It went on for a long time, until finally, I woke Gerald; I wanted someone to be awake with me. He was the only one I could think of who wouldn't mind that it was 3:00 a.m.

Today it rained. And I remembered.

I remembered as a little girl, perhaps seven or eight, walking home from Lloyd Center in the rain with my mom. It was a long walk, and I have no memory of why we did it, but if I close my eyes, I can still feel it. We walked and talked, from Lloyd Center all the way to our house on 121st and Halsey. It wasn't exactly pouring, but rather the constant drizzle of tiny, moist raindrops fell softly on our skin. We arrived home drenched, yet I would have been happy to walk forever.

Today it rained. And I remembered.

I remembered my dad picking me up from the dance studio in the rainy evenings. I'd dash out of the studio and run to his car, the smell and touch of rain all around me, then jump in next to him and listen to the rain on the windshield all the way home. I'd crack the window to allow some of it to spray on my face. We'd drive by The Little Chapel of the Chimes Mortuary, and he'd make dumb jokes (that I thought were funny) like "That is a place people are just dying to get into."

Today it rained. And I remembered.

I remembered week after week the dripping wet soccer games. Shulamith played for six years, and in all that time, I'm pretty sure there were only about two dry games. Most times, it rained. I had my two tinies with me, Isaiah and Eli, bundled up in heavy coats and rain slickers, and still I struggled to know how long to keep them out in the rain and when to escape to the car, where I could watch the game only from a distance. Gerald and I took turns sitting in the car with the boys and watching Shulamith play. While I can't honestly say that I miss soccer games (sports are not my favorite), the rain was glorious.

Today it rained. And I remembered.

I remembered because it happens so rarely here. Even with the storm last night, I figured it would be dry by morning. I figured wrong. When I woke up at 7:30, I could still hear it. On the metal carport adjacent to our house. Rain! Was it for real? Was it really still raining? Though tired from being awake so much in the night, I couldn't risk missing the opportunity. This is Utah. It will stop soon. I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes, grabbed my umbrella, and left. I walked for a long time. It felt like home. And I remembered.

Today it rained. And I remembered.

How To Be A Good College Parent

For the past 10 years, save one, I have had a kid in college. So when I saw an article titled "How To Be A Good College Parent," I was intrigued. Education is important in our family. Gerald and I place its value right up alongside faith, family, and friends. Too bad alliteration fails here, and it doesn't begin with an "F," but you get the idea. I remember once when Luke was in 7th grade, he came home and said, "My friend at school told me college isn't required. He says you have to go to high school, but after that, school is optional." My reply: "Oh, your friend is quite mistaken! I wonder where he ever got that crazy idea. College is absolutely required; it's what you do after high school."

So far, they have believed me, and we now have three college graduates with bachelor's degrees, and one with a PhD even! In the article I read, the first rule for being a good college parent is to "think about your parting words," the point being what you say to your child just before he embarks on what will surely be a life-changing experience, matters. I agree. This caused me to reflect back back to the drop-off conversations I've had with my kids, especially when they were just 18 and it was their first time away.

When we took Luke to Whitman College in Walla Walla, WA, I remember climbing up three flights of stairs over and over and over, hauling up all his stuff to his dorm room. This was actually providential for a glazed-eyed mom who had just come from a parents' meeting, where the president of the college had made us all raise our right hands and repeat the words, "I have done my best." Ahhh! If I wasn't already feeling tremendous loss, sending my firstborn off to a college clear on the other side of the state, this little exercise didn't help. But the workout running up and down those stairs helped. It kept me busy. And focused. And purposeful. And too out of breath to cry. When it came time to leave, I looked at Luke and said something woefully unexceptional like "I love you---I know you'll do great," and we drove off. Thinking I had to be brave, I had fought the full-on tears until that point, but then the dam broke. Poor Gerald.

"Think about your parting words." Hmmm. Not so much.

Just one year later, we had moved to Billings, Montana, and it was time to take Shulamith all the way to Salt Lake City to attend Westminster. Now most of you know she and I are best friends. This is not new. Outnumbered 5-2 in the family, it has been she and I against the world for as long as either of us can remember. How in the heck was I supposed to take her 500 miles to a whole different state and then go home without her? Even now I can't believe I did it, and believe me; I didn't do it very well. As far as "parting words," I was such a blubbering idiot, I don't suppose I said anything intelligible. You can read about it here if you want. You may not want to. It's fairly pathetic.

"Think about your parting words." Eeek.

Five years later, it was Isaiah's turn. I was getting a little better at this. Well I thought I was. Plus, Isaiah was so chill about the whole thing (shocking, I know) that I don't think I felt the emotional impact until after he was gone. I found myself longing to do something for him, something so the goodbye would be special. But what? As so often happens with Isaiah, I felt it wasn't as big a deal as it should be, that there wasn't enough excitement or emotion or ????. This was partly because he, too, was going to Westminster, where Shulamith had graduated just one year earlier. I was well familiar with the school, having visited her dozens of times. The newness simply didn't exist. Desperate to do something Isaiah would like, I dashed over to Cheesecake Factory and bought him a piece of his favorite cheesecake. Through the car window, I handed it to him as we hugged goodbye. His face lit up when he saw the cheesecake; mine was already wet with tears. I uttered something ridiculously corny like, "Remember how very important you are to us and how much we love you." Could it get any less original?

"Think about your parting words." Ha!

Two years later, we were living here in Utah, and it was time to take Eli up to BYU-Idaho, where he would attend one semester before his mission. This time I really believed I was over all this crying and carrying on. It was my fourth time. I had sent one missionary and three college students. I was experienced. No worries. But then the time came. I still remember sitting in the car in the parking lot of the Hinckley Building. Gerald was still working in Montana, so I was alone this time. Well, here, you can read about it yourself.

Yesterday was yet another drop-off day. Not my first. Not even my first with Eli. And I would like to report that I did. not. cry. You can ask Gerald. Nope. And I wasn't even trying to be brave because I gave up all that nonsense long ago. If I wanna cry, I'll cry. I didn't. And this time, I actually thought about my "parting words." They weren't anything profound or earth-shattering or novel. But they were from my heart:

"I love you. So much. I am so proud. My only wish is your happiness. If you need me, you call me. Any time. Day or night. I will come. Have so much fun. Enjoy every second. I love you."

Now I sit here at home, missing him. He has texted on and off throughout the day. In less than 24 hours he has found three former roommates, one former missionary companion, and a friend from high school. He has met and become friends with his new roommates. He has been to his new ward. This next chapter in his life has begun. I am grateful.

"Think about your parting words."

Yes, it's good advice, advice I will try to follow in a few years when it's Seth's turn. But let's not think about that right now. Please, can we just not. Thanks.

In the Middle of "Happily Ever After": A Fairy Tale Come True

Most fairy tales end, "And they lived happily ever after." But don't you sometimes wonder what that "ever after" part entails? What is "ever after" really like?

In our story, we are still finding out. We are in the middle of "ever after."

But wait!

In case you missed the first installment of our fairly tale, let me catch you up. There was this bride; and her search for a wedding gown; and her daughter, who didn't like the sleeves; and her mom, who is an excellent seamstress; and a baby boy; and well, it's too long to tell all over again. Can I direct you here to read the whole story?

Okay, now that you're caught up, let's fast forward a couple of years. The mom of the baby boy was expecting a second child, this time a girl. What would they do? She couldn't wear the same little blessing outfit, adorable though it was. She needed a gown. Fortunately, there was still enough fabric left over from the original wedding dress, so the mom of the first bride set out to sew a blessing gown. This project was indeed more extensive than the little blessing romper, and the mom of the first bride worked hard day after day after day.

Finally, just in time for the birth of the baby girl, the gown was finished. Her first two months of life flew by, and on a warm day in September, surrounded by family, she was blessed by her father.

.

 Her mom cuddled her tight,

And her mom's brothers came from far and wide to be with her.

The best thing about "ever after" is that it is exactly that. We are in the middle of building an eternal unit, a forever family. We are raising our children. We are growing together. We are living our fairy tale.

And they lived happily ever after. A fairy tale come true.

Because My Friend, Rachael, Asked...

Okay, this will be quick. My friend, Rachael, whom I love for many reasons, not the least of which is that she is a devoted reader of this blog, asked me to do a quick post about when to use quotation marks like this: "____" and when to use them like this: '______.'

Simple.

Use double quotation marks in all situations, except one: quotations within quotations. Use single quotation marks for quotations within quotations.

For example,

The CEO explained, "When I interviewed the candidate for the position, he told me that he was simply 'the best person for the job.'"

In the example above,  the comment by the candidate is a direct quotation within the larger quotation by the CEO. Note that there are three marks at the end of the sentence. The single mark indicates the end of the quotation within the quotation, and the double marks indicate the end of the larger quotation.

It could also look like this:

The CEO explained, "When I interviewed the candidate for the position, he told me that he was simply 'the best person for the job,' a comment which I found terribly arrogant."

This makes sense, yes?

As an aside, keep in mind that commas and periods always belong inside the quotation marks. I see it the other way ALL THE TIME. Ugh!

On the other hand, question marks and exclamation marks should go either inside or outside the quotation marks, depending on whether they are part of the direct quotation or part of the entire sentence.

For example,

He said, "Do you love me?"

In this case, the quotation, itself, is a question, so the question mark belongs inside.

In contrast,

Did he say "I love you"?

In this case, the quotation is a statement, not a question. The question is the entire sentence, so the question mark belongs on the outside.

Oh my goodness, isn't grammar fun? I have all kinds of endorphins going on just writing about it.

Thanks, Rachael!