I am not Jacqueline - Wait! What was I thinking?

Last month I traveled to Portland to attend my mom's 80th birthday celebration. So many things about that short weekend made it a delight. Well, here it is, if you want to read about it. One of the most delightful things was this one particular pie my sister-in-law brought to the party. It was seriously so delicious; everyone was raving about it. So I got this crazy idea that maybe I could make that pie. Why would I think that? Who knows? Sometimes my brain doesn't think clearly. Keep in mind:

I have never, ever, in my entire life, made a pie.

Jacqueline told me a well-intended, totally non-malicious lie, one I've heard so many times before: "Oh, it's really easy." For people like me, things like this are never easy. Even so, I asked Jacqueline for the recipe, and yesterday, I decided to try to make this pie. Banana cream is Shulamith's husband Mathew's favorite pie, and I am pretty fond of it myself, so my motives weren't entirely unselfish.

Bright and early I was off to the store to buy the ingredients. Home again, I laid them all out on the counter, making certain I had everything I needed. At that point it hit me: I don't own a pie plate. Why not?

Because I have never, ever, in my entire life, made a pie.

Why would I have a pie plate? I texted Shulamith to see if, by some chance, she might have one, but no. And then another thing hit me: This was going to be a terribly expensive fail. But I already had all the stuff, so back to the store I went to buy a pie dish. Found one for $5.99.

The next few hours were filled with angst. I can't really describe it, except to offer two revealing details:

1. Several times in the process, I declared, in a voice a few decibels louder than my normal tone: "I am not Jacqueline! What was I thinking? Jacqueline does stuff like this. She cooks. She paints. She sews. She makes beautiful crafts. So of course she makes pies. What in the freak made me think I could do this?"

2. Once, when Shulamith was upstairs and dared to say that she thought it was going to turn out great, I snapped, "How can you say that? You have no idea how many things can go wrong here!" The smell of bananas was making her sick, and my attitude was making her sicker, so she quickly retreated back downstairs.

One of those many things that could go wrong was the whipped cream. For this recipe, you literally have to whip the cream. Like you buy it in liquid form and then whip it with an electric mixer. Until yesterday, I had never done that. Cool Whip was all I knew. My question: How do you know when you're done? How do you know when it's whipped enough? They should definitely tell you how many minutes to whip. That would help.

Well I know you're dying to hear how this all turned out, and even if you're not, humor me. Believe it or not (and I barely believe it, even now), this pie was a huge success. It definitely doesn't look as pretty as Jacqueline's, but it tastes just the same. I know, right? I am just as shocked as you are.

When Shulamith first told Matt I was trying to make a banana cream pie but it probably wouldn't turn out, his response was logical: "No, it probably won't." I think he was as surprised as I was when we both loved it.

As I said, not as pretty as Jacqueline's, but here it is...

Homecoming blessings!

Six years ago, we left Billings, Montana and moved here to the Salt Lake Valley. Seth was 11 and in his final year of Primary. I promised him that for sure, his Primary class would have tons of kids. It was Utah, after all.

I lied.

Our very first day in the ward, I took him to his class, to find only four other children, one boy and three cute little girls. One of those little girls was named Britney. Six years later, Britney and her family have moved out of our ward, but she still attends Seth's high school, and this past weekend the two of them went to homecoming together. And they were pretty much the cutest:

I mean seriously, right? Here's one more:

Six couples formed their group, and from what I hear, it was a fun day and evening, filled with bowling, Buffalo Wild Wings, the dance itself, and games after that. Here's the whole group:

It was Seth's last homecoming, but not only that; it was also my last homecoming. Can I just say right here that these "lasts" are not easy for me. I'm not ready for this part of life to be over, and comparatively, the future doesn't look all that appealing. So as I said in an earlier post, my plan for now is to enjoy each and every event of Seth''s senior year to the fullest. And then try not to worry about what comes after that. So there I was Saturday night taking loads of pictures and delighting in my cute boy, my very last baby.

Eli and Amanda were also here this weekend, so they accompanied Gerald and me to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Saturday afternoon. It was lovely to be there with them.

And if homecoming didn't provide sufficient excitement this weekend, the following morning, Shulamith and Matt blessed their little baby, Theodore. They kept it very low key this time around, but the blessing was beautiful, and I think they were happy with the day. Here are a few pictures:

Finally, Shulamith and I often remark that we are so happy Eli married a cool girl like Amanda. She is so cool that she brought face masks for all three of us! How scary are we?

The weekend left us exhausted but happy. I guess that's as it should be.

Homecoming blessings!

VIPKID: Can it cause mush brain?

Last spring, Shulamith began working for VIPKID, a company based in Beijing that teaches online English lessons to Chinese children. It's a wonderful job for at-home moms because teachers work entirely from home, and they choose when they work and how much. At first, I didn't consider applying myself; I already have a part-time job, teaching English at a two-year college, and that is plenty. However, at that time, because of its rapid growth, VIPKID was desperate for teachers and offering a $100 bonus for successful referrals.

I decided to go through the application/hiring process, just to get Shulamith the bonus. Of course anyone who works for VIPKID knows that the application/hiring process is the hardest part of the job by far. Once you're hired, it's a piece of cake, comparatively. I passed my initial interview and then went to the Mock I class. I thought that went very well, so I was annoyed when I learned that I'd need to do Mock II, so much so that I almost discontinued the process at that point, but then I thought about Shulamith's $100 and persisted.

Finally I was hired and could begin booking classes. I only had to teach one lesson for Shulamith to earn her bonus, but once I did that, I didn't want to stop. It's seriously so much fun, and the whole thing is sort of addictive. You get up, put on an orange shirt over your pajamas, talk to a cute Chinese kid for 25 minutes, and think to yourself, "I just made $10." So you do it again. And again. And again.

When I first started, I was in the middle of summer semester at my college, so I didn't open a lot of slots for bookings. But these past four weeks, I've been on break, so I opened tons of slots, including the very early morning peak hours. Beijing is 13 hours ahead of us, so prime time there is 5:00 a.m. - 7:00 a.m. our time. To be clear, I'm NOT a morning person. Come to think of it, I'm not really a night person either; I'm a "middle of the day" person. Yeah, that's what I am.

So these early hours are seriously kicking my trash. My brain might be turning to mush.

Evidence? Sunday I was scheduled to speak in church, my absolute most favorite thing ever, so I got up early, took a brief walk (only 2,000 steps), and jumped in the shower. I got out and went about my regular routine, starting with makeup, and then I removed the towel covering my head. What did I find? Slimy hair. Totally slimy. I had completely forgotten to rinse out the conditioner. What is wrong with me?!? Mush brain from VIPKID. Clearly.

Well this dilemma was quite a serious pickle because I had just applied flawless makeup. How would I get the slime out of my hair without destroying all that? I couldn't go back in the shower and let water run all down my face, so I had to rinse my hair ever so carefully in the sink. It wasn't a perfect rinse job, but I managed to get most of the slime out and style my hair as planned.

Whew.

Then, as it turned out, I didn't get to speak after all. Our bishop talked for 15 minutes before our meeting began, and then the first speaker went about 10 minutes over his time, leaving only five minutes for my talk. Nope. Not gonna work. I quickly texted the bishop and asked if he would like me to speak another day. He said, "How about next week?" Perfect! So now I get to be excited for another whole week. Woo.

My new semester began yesterday, so I've scaled back my VIP bookings to a manageable number. Perhaps this will cure my mush brain. We can only hope.