Just About Perfect

The question circulating around today is "How was your Thanksgiving weekend?" My answer: "It was just about perfect." Obviously, we can't achieve absolute perfection in this earthly experience; there are glitches. People don't always behave the way we think they should. We don't always behave the way we think we should. Life happens. Circumstances beyond our control change our plans, slow us down, force us to be flexible even when we don't want to be.

Even so, my Thanksgiving weekend was just about perfect.

The day before we left, the weather (one of those lovely circumstances that is beyond our control) seemed to deteriorate by the second. The forecast was for snowy, icy conditions in Billings, Bozeman, Idaho Falls, and Salt Lake City. Those of you familiar with this trip will understand that this is basically the entire route! All day people tried to scare me out of going. At least that's how it seemed. It could have been that they were just warning me to be cautious. Maybe they weren't really trying to talk me out of making the trip. Maybe it just seemed that way. In any case, by evening, I was ready to shoot the next person who asked me if we had 4-wheel drive. Because we don't. And there was no way I could just magically get it in the next 24 hours. And we were going, regardless. Two of my children were in Salt Lake City waiting for us. Bad weather or not, WE WERE GOING!

We prepared as thoroughly as we knew how, packing plenty of food and water, warm clothing, blankets, tire chains, even stuff to put on the ground for traction in case we needed to dig ourselves out of a snowy ditch. Wrapped in blankets, encouraged by Eli's sincere prayer for our safety, we left Billings at 5:15 am. By the time we passed Laurel, the temperature outside was -18. Nevertheless, we were on our way. Roads through Montana were mostly okay; Idaho was a different story. Fourteen hours later, we pulled into the parking lot of Isaiah's dorm where Shulamith met us. We made it!

How was my Thanksgiving weekend? It was just about perfect.

Thursday, we sank happily into R & R mode. Shulamith and Matt needed to go celebrate Thanksgiving with Matt's family. Eli and Seth stayed in Isaiah's dorm, and the three of them bonded over video-games. Gerald and I stayed at Shulamith and Matt's apartment and bonded over "Prison Break," my latest TV addiction (thank you very much, streaming Netflix).

Yep, just about perfect.

Then came Black Friday. Black Friday is seriously more important to me than Thanksgiving itself. It's a tradition that goes back a very long time, way back to when my grandma was alive. Shulamith and I have been doing Black Friday shopping together for at least the past 10 years, maybe more. This was our first year spending it in Salt Lake City, and it may very well be the best Black Friday we've ever had. I am not kidding. It was amazing. We began at Target where we warmed ourselves with cups of Starbuck's hot chocolate as we took full advantage of the many door-buster sales. After that we hit two different malls (not even possible in Billings!) where, one by one, we crossed off items from our Christmas shopping lists. Wow! Then, as is tradition, we treated ourselves to one item just for us: beautiful new boots from Macy's. Too tired to take another step, we met Matt at Cheesecake Factory for lunch at around 2:00.

How was my Black Friday? It was just about perfect.

Saturday was the day to cook Thanksgiving dinner. A couple of unnamed individuals (whose initials are E-L-I and S-E-T-H) had doubted that we could even make a good Thanksgiving dinner in Shulamith and Matt's tiny kitchen, but we proved them both wrong. We roasted a small turkey stuffed with delicious herb dressing, mashed potatoes by hand, and even made gravy from scratch. Complemented by pumpkin and banana cream pies from Marie Calendar's, the whole dinner was way YUM!

How was my Thanksgiving? It was just about perfect.

Even with the love of family all around (only Luke and Desiree and Evelyn were missing), there were the normal glitches, the stuff we remember through the years, the stuff we laugh about, the stuff that makes us human. One of those fun glitches occurred just as we were about to put the turkey into the oven. It occurred to me that maybe Shulamith didn't have the string I needed to tie around the bird in order to keep the wings tight, so the meat would not dry out. I was right. She didn't have string. Time to improvise. While she didn't have any string, she did have a string bikini top which she had never worn; she bought it for the bottoms, to wear with a more modest tankini top. Ha, what luck! We were able to pull that string right out of that bikini top and tie it right around that turkey.

Glitch #2 involved a research paper that needed to be written. As many of you know, I am a writing instructor. I teach folks how to write research papers. What do you think is the first rule of writing a good research paper? Yep, don't wait until the last minute and attempt to do it all in one sitting. Good papers need time to breathe. Authors need time to step away from their early drafts, so they can return with fresh eyes and fresh perspectives. No matter how many times I teach this concept, many of my students don't seem to believe me, AND APPARENTLY, NEITHER DO MY OWN CHILDREN! Eli had a 4-page research paper due Monday, and as of Saturday, he hadn't even begun. Well, that's not entirely true. He had identified his sources, but that's it.

Mom and sister to the rescue! We gave him note cards and instructed him to begin searching his sources for notes to use in the paper. Five note cards would be done before we would feed him Thanksgiving dinner. We're tough, yeah? Note cards complete, Shulamith helped him organize them around a solid thesis statement, and he was ready to make an outline. Finally, around 7 pm, he began to draft. Several of us went to a movie, but Eli stayed home and worked, along with Matt who also had homework. By the time we returned, 1/4 of the paper was written, a good enough start that we felt confident Eli could finish it on the ride home Sunday. That he did, reference page and all.

Glitches aside, my Thanksgiving weekend was just about perfect. Except for one thing. I missed seeing Lindsey not once, but in both directions. Driving down on Wednesday, the roads through Rexburg were too awful to attempt to navigate, so we were forced to take an alternate route. Coming back Sunday, I was determined to see her, so we did go through Rexburg, only it took us so long to get there that she was already headed to church. Ack! So I have this to say to the weather:

Dear Weather,
I am serious. You'd better lighten up on all this snow business by Christmas. Lindsey needs to come to Billings between Christmas and New Year's. She misses her family. They miss her. I miss her. This is not a joke. I am counting on you.
Love, Terrianne

How was my Thanksgiving weekend?

It was just about perfect.

Thankful for -8 degrees (This is not a joke)

A few of my Facebook friends have been posting things they're thankful for each day during November in honor of Thanksgiving. I have not done that, but I think it's a great idea. Among the many things my friends are thankful for are health, children, mobility, freedom, Heavenly Father's love, snow, employment, the Gospel, cars that run, good food, and family. I have very thankful friends! A couple of them have mentioned to me recently, either directly or indirectly, that it's better to embrace our circumstances, whatever they are, and find the joy in them, rather than complaining about what we have no power to change. I'm a bit of a complainer, myself. I often wonder about the early saints who walked across the plains, enduring incredible hardship in search of religious freedom. History tells us they never murmured. They never complained. I've often thought, "Seriously? Were these real human beings?" I also tend to worry about worst-case scenarios rather than expecting the best. My experience is that if something can go wrong, it will, so it's better to be emotionally prepared for the worst.

Today, though, I'm attempting to follow the counsel of some of my more optimistic friends and to embrace my circumstances, especially those I have no power to alter. One of those would be the weather. Friday after school, I stayed on the West End of town to Christmas shop. By the time I was ready to drive home, snow was falling in near blizzard style, the roads were icy, and traffic was ridiculous. I stopped by Gerald's office downtown, and it still took me a full hour to get up to the Heights from there, a 10-minute drive typically. I was very scared. A native Oregonian and 11-year Washington resident, I don't like to drive on icy roads. However, in retrospect, there is much to embrace and to be grateful for. Yes, it took a long time to get home. But all that time was spent in a warm car with lovely Christmas music playing. I wasn't ever cold. And though I felt out of control several times (like every time I tried to stop, go, or turn), I did not wreck my new red car, and I made it home safely to my children.

When we awoke Saturday morning, the temperature was -8. It had snowed all through the night. About 1/2-foot of fresh snow lay on the ground, with more coming. It was the perfect day to set up our tree and decorate for Christmas. Normally, I don't do that until right after Thanksgiving, but this year we will be in Utah all weekend, so I wanted it done ahead of time. How often do we get to decorate for Christmas with snow falling outside? It added much to the experience. I would have preferred to just stay in all day and not to brave the sub-zero temps, but Eli was performing with his community youth choir in the afternoon, and we couldn't miss that. It was very windy, making -8 feel more like -20, but we bundled up as best we could and headed out. Again thankful for our warm van and for Gerald's expert snow driving ability and for the fact that I, myself, didn't have to drive, we attended Eli's performance. It was so good. His choir sang three songs, all lovely Christmas carols, as entertainment for a craft bazaar. We stopped for groceries on the way home to our warm, comfortable house. I am thankful for both food and heat!

Now we face another challenge, driving to Salt Lake City on Wednesday in weather conditions that show no signs of any real improvement. It could be a terribly long day. The trip usually takes around nine hours, but the forecasted icy roads and strong winds could easily add several more. So how do I embrace this experience and find ways to be thankful? There are lots of ways. First, we have two children living in Salt Lake City, and the joy of being with them will make any travel challenges totally worth it. Second, we have as much time as we need. There will be no need to hurry. Technology has blessed us with several items that make long-distance driving so much easier than in years passed, especially with kids. Seth will have his DSI, a hand-held video-game console. He will also have a personal DVD player, so he can watch movies, and every time he runs out of movies, we can simply stop by another Redbox and rent more. Eli will have a laptop, so he can work on a research paper that is due right after we get back. My Pandora Christmas radio station is all set up to provide us with beautiful music. Then there are the more primitive travel conveniences like a cooler full of junk food and pop to provide us comfort on the way. Oh, and I'll probably also bring an old-fashioned book to read, not sure which one yet, but something.

Lastly, even if it is only briefly (depending on weather conditions), I will get to stop in Rexburg and hug Lindsey and her kids. I miss them more than you know. I can't wait!

It's gonna be great. It is. We are going regardless, so we may as well embrace the experience and find the joy, right?

Thankful for -8 degrees! (And if you'd like to pray for our safe travels, we'd be ever so thankful for that as well.)

Failure to Launch or You Can't Lie Forever

It's no secret that I am a total wimp mom. I don't even try to hide it. I have a terrible time as, one by one, my children grow up and leave for college, missions, and marriage. I grieve each time. Over and over. It never gets easier. Here's the thing. I like my children, and I prefer it when they're here. Life is better in every way. When I'm feeling particularly melancholy, I wonder if the best three years of my life have already passed, the three years after Seth was born and before Luke left for college. It was the only time I had all five kids living at home at the same time, and it was heavenly.

Each day, one section at a time, Eli and I together work on his application to BYU-Idaho. The priority deadline is December 1, and we will easily have all the sections submitted by that date. I'm trying hard to embrace this process; really I am. Because it will not happen again until it's Seth's turn. And yet, in the war of bittersweet experiences, the bitter is winning mightily. What am I going to do without Eli?

Moreover, what am I going to do when sometime in the distant future, we are faced with that ominous empty nest? Turns out, I may never have to find out.

Seth (after getting the mail and realizing there was nothing for him): Ugh, no mail for me. Mail for you. Mail for Dad. Mail for Eli. Mail for Luke, AND HE DOESN'T EVEN LIVE HERE! Nobody ever sends me letters.

Me: Seriously Seth, most of the letters I get in snail mail are just bills, and trust me, those are not terribly thrilling. They mean I have to send people money.

Seth: That's why I'm never going to be a parent.

Me: Well, Seth, you will still have bills even if you are not a parent. You will have to pay for your house and your food. And your utilities.

Seth: Not if I just stay with you forever I won't.

Failure to launch?? Perhaps!


And it's no secret that I have serious age issues. I am terrified of growing older, and since I really feel about 30, I just lie my way through life. I lie about birth dates and graduation dates. I lie about my kids' ages. I even lie about my mother's age occasionally. In my defense, age is the only thing I lie about. The rest of my life is pretty transparent. The truth is I'm boring enough that there's really not much to hide. But if you ask me about my age or anything remotely related to it, you should probably expect to be deceived.

I have been lying to Seth about my age his entire life. As his math skills have developed, this has become incresingly problematic. "Mom, you can't be 35 because Luke is 25. That would mean you had a baby when you were 10." Lately, he's been obsessed with finding out my real age, which will never happen of course, but that doesn't stop him from trying. He knows my file cabinet has a section that contains all our birth certificates, but the cabinet is stored way up high in my closet.

Seth: Mom, could you take down the file cabinet, so I can see my birth certificate. I want to prove that I really was born on June 14th.

Me: No, Seth. It's covered up with wrapped Christmas presents. I'm not going to get it down. You'll have to take my word for it. You were born June 14, 2000.

Seth: But if I could find your birth certificate up there, I would finally have proof of exactly how old you are.

Me: Not a chance, Seth.

Seth: Well, Mom, just so you know. When you pass away, I'm going to go right up and get that file cabinet, so I will know once and for all how old you were. You can't lie forever.

Can You Say "Shop-ping"?

When young children are first learning to talk, most parents start with the obvious: "Can you say Mom-my?" or "Can you say Dad-dy?" However, when Shulamith was born, I jumped straight to the important stuff.

"Can you say Shop-ping?"

She was a fast learner indeed. Together, we have been shopping through life ever since. The entire Christmas season is positively glorious for an avid shopper like me; I have the perfect excuse to shop for everyone I love all at the same time. One of our most favorite shopping days is Black Friday, the day following Thanksgiving. Generally, I don't begin serious Christmas shopping until Black Friday, which is more than just a shopping day for Shulamith and me; it is an event. We get up at the crack of dawn (amazing for two people who like to sleep in as much as we do, but worth it this one day each year) and head out, stopping at Starbuck's first for hot chocolate and pastries. Then, coupons in hand, energized by the excitement, we hit the stores with a systematic plan to accomplish all we've set out to do. We stop only for good food (Cinnabon is a must!), and we go till we're entirely worn out, usually mid-to-late afternoon. At that point we go home for long, luxurious naps and then get up and eat Thanksgiving leftovers before heading out to an evening movie. Now you tell me...how could a day get any better?

This year, however, will be slightly different. Gerald, Eli, Seth, and I are driving to Salt Lake City for Thanksgiving weekend, so we won't be here in Billings on Black Friday. Yes, there are many more shopping options in SLC, which is wonderful. The only problem is that the State of Utah has this unfortunate little annoyance called sales tax. As a native Oregonian and a current Montana resident, I don't much enjoy paying sales tax. If the bargain is really really good, I'll do it, like last summer when were shopping in Park City, and I got four pairs of super nice pants at Gap, all for under $32. That was a good enough sale to warrant paying the tax. Or if there's something really lovely that I can't find in Billings (Hello, Nordstrom!), then I'll break down and pay. Usually, though, I'll wait until I'm back home where I can shop tax free.

Knowing we'd be in Utah this year on Black Friday, I decided to start shopping early right here in Billings, and I have made substantial progress. I can't be certain without adding everything up on the lists in my phone, but I'd be willing to bet that I'm about half done. Half done on November 12!? What's more, everything I've purchased is already wrapped and ready to go under the tree, which we will set up just before we leave for Utah. Ah, ah, ah, how I love Christmas! Black Friday will still be amazing; I have no doubt. I will help Shulamith with her shopping, while keeping my eyes peeled for that incredible deal that makes paying sales tax worth it.

So enjoy the start of this beautiful season, of which shopping for gifts is only one small part. Keep in mind the reason we shop for, give, and receive gifts at this time: the perfect, selfless gift that was given to all of us so long ago.

Back on the P90X Wagon: Fighting the Fear

In March of 2009, so going on two years ago, Lindsey, Shulamith, and I bought a work-out program called P90X, which involves a series of daily routines on DVDs. I have written about this previously both here and here; however, the last time I wrote about it was in May of 2009, so I figured it was time for another update. After the first 90 days, the maintenance plan involves doing the routines just 3 - 4 times a week rather than daily. I completed the first 90 days faithfully (only missing a day or two in the entire three months) and then began the maintenance plan which progressed fairly well. By the start of 2010, I had the added motivation of Shulamith's upcoming wedding to keep me dedicated. By spring, we were planning our Costa Rica trip, and the thought of wearing a bathing suit every day was, again, plenty of motivation to keep me on the P90X wagon. That was this past August.

Then we came home.

And for some reason, I just didn't get started again. I don't know why. I really have no idea. What I do know is that as the days passed, then weeks, then two whole months (!), it became progressively harder to put in a DVD and push "play." I would stare at my pile of disks sitting on my nightstand and think to myself, "I have got to get going on this." But I wouldn't do it. I made all sorts of plans and promises to myself, but nothing worked. Days went by. And weeks. And two months. My frustration increased, and so did my fear. It became a psychological block and not a fun one.

But what was I so afraid of?

Did I think I wouldn't be able to do it this time? It's hard. Did I think it would hurt too much? It does. I don't know. I only know that for several weeks, I stared at those DVDs, knowing what I had to do, but not doing it. Yes, I still walked my regular 4 miles nearly every day. Yes, I still stuck (or mostly stuck) to my eating plan. And, no, I haven't gained any weight (thank goodness!). Still, I need P90X for strength training and for cardio, and also because when I'm doing it, I can eat a whole lot more of the foods I like without gaining weight. Win, win, win!

What changed? Let me tell you about it. Last Tuesday was a lovely day, pure and simple. Do you ever have really good days like that? When everything feels right? When troubles seem far away? When you know deep down inside that life is good, very very good? Well, that's how last Tuesday was for me. Classes at MSUB were canceled for election day, so I had the entire day off. I got up and walked my 4 miles first thing, so that was done. Endorphins flowing, I had energy to help Gerald shampoo the carpets throughout our house. Oh, what a difference that makes! Then I took a glorious nap. Mmmm! Before he left for work, Gerald went to the store and bought some tape, so I could spend the rest of the afternoon wrapping Christmas presents. Now you should know there is hardly anything I'd rather do than wrap Christmas presents, hardly anything at all. I put on Josh Groban's Christmas CD and wrapped for about an hour. Seth came home, and we went out for fast food. Could this day get any better?

Maybe it could have, but it didn't. At 6:00 p.m. as polls closed on the east coast, election returns began to filter in. My lovely day began to seriously deteriorate. By 8:00 p.m. as I watched the CNN map bleed a nasty red across our dear nation, I decided anything would be better than enduring any more of that.

Even P90X!

I turned off my TV, carried my computer downstairs, changed into my workout clothes, and put in the Core Synergistics DVD. And I did it. Was it hard? Very. Did it hurt? Lots. But I finished it, the entire hour, all the way through the squat run, the steam engine, the Dreya roll, and the superman/banana. My plan is to do P90X three times a week, and so far this week, I have succeeded. Thursday I did shoulders & arms, and yesterday I did Cardio.

Thanks to some very scary election returns, I'm officially back on the P90X wagon; yes I am!

Better Than the Best Halloween of My Whole Life

Seth and I had a bit of a disagreement over what I should title this post. I wanted to call it "The Halloween That Never Ends" (sort of like "The Song That Never Ends"). He insisted instead that I call it "Better Than the Best Halloween of My Whole Life," relating to my last year's Halloween blog post. Ironically, Seth's reason for thinking this was the best Halloween ever is that it lasted five days. I'm not kidding. When I was a kid, Halloween was one day: October 31st. That was it. Not this year. Halloween 2010 went on and on and on. For five days.

First, Wednesday night was the carnival and trick-or-treating at MSU-Billings, where I teach. It was a fun party. Seth loved trick-or-treating through the dorms. What a perfect way to get lots of candy quickly and stay nice and warm.

Thursday night was a Halloween-themed Cub Scout Pack Meeting. Can I just tell you right now that Cub Scout Pack Meetings are like Chinese Water Torture. Enough said.

Friday night was the carnival at Seth's school. This is most certainly an annual tradition for us. We have attended all six years we've lived in Billings, our first year when Eli was in 6th grade and Seth was just four. This year, it only took Seth three tries to win the cake walk. Perhaps his luck is changing? He participated in all the other activities as well, and we ended the evening at the book fair, where he showed me many "wishes" for Christmas.

Saturday night was trunk-or-treat at our church. We combined with another ward, so it was a big event. A costume parade, chili cook-off, games, and of course trunk-or-treat rounded out the evening. I got to sit with Jared and Kim (see Jared, you made it into the blog AGAIN!), which was a lovely treat for me. I miss them now that they've moved out of our ward.

Are you tired of Halloween yet? But wait... We can't forget "Halloween proper" Sunday night. This year, Seth and his friend Tommy begged Natalie and me to let them go by themselves. I was a little wary, but with some strict rules, we finally agreed. Seth took Gerald's phone, so we could communicate. We let them go up and down Tommy's street, checking in with Natalie regularly. Then we let them go up and down our street, checking in with me. They thought they were pretty cool. About the time they finished, Eli arrived home with five of his friends, all seniors in high school, dressed in costumes carrying pillow cases full of candy. I'll resist commenting on 17-year-olds trick-or-treating.

So the Halloween that never ends finally ended. Thank heavens! For this fairly non-Halloween mom, it was a long week. But today, oh today, I happily took down all the orange and black decorations and put up the few Thanksgiving decorations I have. I put on some Christmas music and began wrapping presents. Pure delight. Let the season begin!