Spring Break Self Care: How did it go?

It was arguably the best spring break of my life, and I didn't even leave town. I barely left home, truth be told, and when I did, Shulamith drove. And guess what? No car crashes.

Did everything go as planned? Uh, almost? Tuesday night, I decided to cross off one item from my spring break list: A movie with popcorn (extra butter):

Excited for our stress-free, kid-free girls' night out, Shulamith picked me up, and we drove to Herriman to grab Amanda. After a quick stop at Holiday to fill our Stanleys with fountain Diet Coke, we arrived at the movie theatre with time to spare. Shulamith dropped Amanda and me off, so we could get in line for that buttery popcorn while she parked the car. Popcorn and Diet Coke in hand, we approached the cute, 16ish-year-old girl with blonde curls and a bright smile who was scanning tickets. Shulamith pulled out her phone to scan us in.

Nothing. It wouldn't work. She tried several times until cute blonde girl said, "Let me help?" and took the phone. Still no luck.

Cute blonde girl: Are you sure you have tickets for today?

Shulamith: Yep, we're seeing Missing at 7:05.

Cute blonde girl: Uh, that movie isn't showing here. Are you sure you didn't purchase these for Jordan Landing?

By this point I was bordering full-on panic because I can't (won't? don't!) go to movies (or anything) late. 

 Shulamith: Crap. We're supposed to be at Jordan Landing.

To be fair, both Amanda and I were fully aware that we were supposed to go to Jordan Landing, yet we allowed Shulamith to drive us right up to Cinemark Riverton, where we walked in and bought popcorn, blissfully unaware that we were at the wrong theatre. 

Cute blonde girl said if we would like to watch something else, something that was actually showing there, we could walk across the theatre and talk to a manager guy, who would exchange our tickets. That we did.

Shulamith: So, we went to the wrong theatre.

Manager guy: Did you mean to go to Jordan Landing? Happens all the time.

Shulamith: Can you tell us what is playing now or soon? At this theatre?

Manager guy: Cocaine Bear and Jesus Revolution.

You've got to be kidding. The only reason we'd even heard of Cocaine Bear is because Eli and Seth want to see it, which is, itself, a good reason not to. Best we knew, it's about a bear who gets high on cocaine and runs around killing people. That is a hard no.

Shulamith (to Manager guy): What even IS Jesus Revolution?

(Manager guy reads the paragraph-long description off a laminated card.)

Shulamith: That sounds horrible.

Manager guy: I'd have to agree. 

Regardless, we had no other choice; no way we were gonna watch a 500-pound, drug-fueled bear tear people to shreds. 

So what's the verdict on Jesus Revolution, you ask? Shulamith actually thought it was okay, Amanda enjoyed it, and I loved it! Lots of awesome 70s music, throwback to when I was a little girl and dreamed of being a Haight Ashbury hippie, and the timeless message of the Gospel of love, forgiveness, and grace.

Despite this slight misstep, my other self-care items played out right as rain:

1. I did not set my phone alarm a single morning the whole 10 days.

2. I enjoyed a full pajama day, in which I finished Season 1 and began Season 2 of The Chosen, listened to the Podcast The Letter, and read all the books.

3. I got a much-needed spa pedicure. Shockingly, there's a place right here in the Bluffdale wilderness that does lovely gel pedicures and even makes the water hot enough(!) where many places don't.

4. Another day Shulamith and I met up with Isaiah and Seth for a yummy Thai lunch. The best part was hearing the two of them converse in Japanese. Isaiah loves Japan and has taught himself enough Japanese to get around there, and Seth is currently taking first year Japanese at UVU in preparation for his study abroad experience. He will spend the month of May in Japan!

5. Additional food self care involved breakfast at Sunday's Best in Sandy, one of our favorite places. Shulamith and I both do intermittent fasting, so breakfast is a rare treat. We shared an order of biscuits and gravy and an order of powdered sugar beignets. Fully decadent. And delicious.

7. And then.....it just so happened that I recently accumulated enough Crumbl rewards points to earn a free box of four. I mean what timing, right? (Also, if you know how many cookies you have to eat in order to earn a free box, don't tell me. I don't want to know.) We chose four gooey flavors. I cut each cookie in half, gave Shulamith four halves,  and kept the remaining four. I grazed on cookies for the next two days!

6. Finally, I dug even deeper into the scriptures, as I planned my upcoming Gospel Doctrine lessons, including the ones I won't get to teach because they fall on the 2nd and 4th Sundays (Relief Society). I continue to be in awe of the Savior, through the stories of his mortal life. How blessed we are! Here is one idea you might consider:

When the woman who had been ill 12 years reaches for the hem of Jesus's robe, he heals her instantly through her faith and His power. A hymn called "Where can I Turn for Peace?" includes the line: "He answers privately, Reaches my reaching, In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend." Where in your life does Jesus reach your reaching? Where does He come to you, right where you are, hold you, heal you, and bring you peace?

I needed spring break this year more than ever before, and it did not disappoint! As the week concludes, and I jump right back into five classes, relentless student emails, and never-ending essays, all while striving to maintain my house as well as some sort of work/life balance, I will lean into the promises of a God who never stops reaching. 

Jane explains...

Jane Eliza is the 16-month-old daughter of Eli and Amanda. Yes, she's a little bit young for her own ongoing blog post, so entries will likely be sporadic, but she definitely talks, so I thought we'd get started with her blog.

1. Eli and Amanda dropped a Diet Coke off at Shulamith's house and picked up Kennedy to come over here. When Kennedy got in the car, Jane was very happy to see her.

Jane: Wow! Wow! Wow!

2. Eli and Amanda have a cat named Ramsay, whom they have basically ignored for the past 16 months since Jane was born. But Jane likes him and calls him "Meow." When I got to their house tonight for dinner, Ramsay, who is an indoor cat and never allowed outside, escaped out the door. Jane was concerned about finding him right away.

Jane (looking around and pointing to the door): Meow! Meow! Meow!

3. Jane loves Cocomelon, and her favorite character is JJ. Often she brings the remote control to one of her parents or me, points it at the TV, and ays "JJ." That means we're supposed to turn on Cocomelon. The other day, though, Amanda was folding laundry, including Jane's JJ pajamas. Jane quickly unfolded these and begin trying to put on the pants.

Jane: JJ! JJ! JJ!

Jane's nice mommy finally helped her put on the JJ pajama pants at least partway over her clothes, and she was a happy girl.

4. Jane calls their cat, whose actual name is Ramsay, "Meow." So it shouldn't have been a surprise today when she saw a picture of a cow on the wall at Chick-fil-A:

Jane: Moo!

5. Jane in beginning to put words together into very short sentences. As I was leaving their house, she waved and said:

Jane: Bye bye, Her Her.

6. And she keeps expanding her command of language, both vocabulary and sentence structure. I was carrying her from the car to Old Navy yesterday, and she would have preferred to walk in by herself.

Jane: Her, no, down!

7. Eli and Amanda left Jane and me at home when they ran to Shake Shack to grab us dinner. 

Jane: Dada, back?

Me: Yes, Jane, Dada will be right back.

8. Eli, Amanda, And Jane came over tonight for dinner, and they dropped off Jane at Shulamith's house for a short while, so she could play with Kennedy and Theodore before they all came over here. Jane looked out Shulamith's patio door, where Woof was outside:

Jane: Dog! Cute. Me scared! (Then she did her "scared" face and motions, where she shakes and looks terrified.)

Later, Jane noticed that her mommy wasn't there:

Jane: Me Mommy back?

Then Swen and Theodore were fighting:

Jane: Oh fight!

9. When they were leaving tonight, Jane was in the driver's seat pretending to drive. Amanda was shotgun and said to Jane, "I love you."

Jane: I love you.

10. Eli and Amanda went to a movie tonight by themselves. They very rarely leave Jane, so she wasn't super happy about this. She's also very smart, so when I came over and she noticed her parents were gathering their things, preparing to leave, she told her mommy, "No Her Her!" I convinced them (Amanda) to go, because I knew Jane would be fine once they were gone, which she was. After she was clear about her opinion on the subject:

Jane: No Bluey! No trick/treat! No Her Her! Mommy and Daddy!!!

11. Jane's first attempt at actual trick-or-treating was a moderate success. Mostly, she wanted to be carried, rather than walk up to doors on her own two feet. She also had a comment on most of the houses we visited:

Jane: Spooky house!

12. I was out of town last weekend for my niece's wedding, and when I retuned, Amanda asked if I would come over in the morning and hang out with Jane because she had a zoom meeting for her job. (She works from home part time for the U. of Utah, evaluating and processing transcripts from applicants.) Surprisingly, when I got there Jane was still asleep, and she stayed asleep all the way through Amanda's meeting. Just as I was about to leave, Jane woke up, so I only saw her for a few minutes. After I left, Amanda says she wandered around the house:

Jane: Her Her, where are you?

13. Eli and Amanda got Jane a doll house for her "Santa" Christmas gift, but they left it out in plain sight, thinking she wouldn't notice. She definitely notices. And she got so excited, she was literally shaking!

Jane: Oooooh, pretty house! Blue house!

Me: Is it your house, Jane?

Jane: Yes!

14. Jane was eating spaghetti last night, while sitting on Eli's lap. When she finished, she switched to Amanda's lap, and then reached over and took Eli's bowl of spaghetti and proceeded to eat.

Eli: Jane, did you take my spaghetti?

Silence.

Eli: Jane is that Dada's spaghetti or Jane's?

Jane (pointing at herself): JANE'S!

15. Jane is extremely attached to her mother, which is exactly as it should be for a two-year-old. She prefers to be sitting on Amanda's lap. Not sitting beside her. On her lap. Last night Amanda was trying to eat dinner (easier without a toddler on your lap). 

Amanda: Jane, do you want to sit her on the couch right next to Mommy?

Jane: No! Mommy, sit, lap.

16. Jane is addicted to a song Matt played for her and his kids last time Jane was over there. They march around and dance to it. It's called "The Wellerman," and is something about ship that brings sugar and tea and rum. And part of it goes "da, da, da, da." Anyway, Jane knows how to request it.

Jane: Aleka, da, da, da, potfy. (Alexa, play "da, da, da" on Spotify.)

17. We were all at Shulamith's house last night for dinner because Matt was away on a hunting trip with his parents. Shulamith makes the best cookies, and everyone was enjoying them, including Jane. When I was about to leave, I grabbed a couple cookies and put then in a plastic bag to take home to eat later.

Jane: Her Her, cookie! So, of course, I had to give he part of one of mine. (This scenario made me smile because Luke's first complete sentence when he was around Jane's age was, "Where my cookie go, Mommy?" Today happens to be his 39th birthday, so Jane asking for my cookie last night brought all the nostalgia.)

Never have I needed it so badly! Self care, here we go.

On our morning walk yesterday, I told Shulamith, "I can't remember a time when I needed spring break so badly." I'm fine. Nothing terrible has happened to me. It's just a series of little things that add up. I've heard people say it's important to practice self care. I hope to do that this coming week, and this morning I find myself wondering what that might look like:

Maybe it looks like not setting an alarm for the next 10 days. 

Maybe it looks like one full day of pajamas, Netflix binging (The Chosen), reading all the books, and not leaving the house except for walks, food, and Diet Coke. 

Maybe it looks like more time in the scriptures and with Jesus. 

Maybe it looks like a Crumble cookie or a gourmet Rice Krispie treat or both! 

Maybe it looks like a pedicure and a movie with popcorn (extra butter). 

Maybe it looks like not driving anywhere, the whole 10 days, so I can be certain I won't get in another crash. 

Maybe it looks like one full day off from grading papers and answering student emails. 

Maybe it looks like blogging whenever I feel inspired, rather than only as a reward for grading a certain number of papers.

Maybe it looks like all of the above. I'm not totally sure, but I bet it looks like some of those things, because after the last four weeks, never have I needed spring break so badly. 

Weeks 5 - 8 of a 16-week semester are always challenging. Even if I feel like I've kept up pretty good through the first four weeks, those second four feel like a blizzard of essays pouring down on me from all directions. Except this semester, in addition to a blizzard of essays, we also experienced a literal blizzard! No lie. I have not seen this much snow in the 12 years we've lived in Utah. It just keeps snowing. And snowing. And snowing. 

In the middle of all that snow, this happened. My nice, red car got crunched. The accident wasn't weather related; another driver ran a red light and hit me in an intersection. But the snow came soon after. And for some unknown reason, it took Allstate four weeks to declare my car a total loss. All that time, I drove a rental car provided to me through my own insurance company's roadside assistance plan. In the snow! It's scary enough to drive in snow when you're familiar with your car, but driving an unfamiliar rental in an eternal snowstorm, day after day, already fighting terrible driving anxiety from four accidents in as many years, well, you can imagine my state of mind. 

A week ago Monday, Allstate finally called to inform me that my car was totaled. In the same phone call, they also mentioned that they would only reimburse Geico (my insurance) for my rental car for two additional days, following their declaration that my car was totaled. All the thoughts flew through my head. My car really is toast, my bright red car that is so easy to spot in a parking lot. You might remember that I am directionally challenged. That red car has saved me hours of roaming through giant parking lots, and now I'm supposed to replace it in two days??

I should point out that the above mentioned phone call happened on Monday, February 20th. It had already been snowing all month, but Monday was just two days before it would escalate to a full-on blizzard that would dump over a foot of additional snow and shut down the valley the following day. Awesome. Because I've always wanted to go car shopping in a blizzard. My dream really.

Wednesday, all schools were closed, and most everyone either worked from home or didn't work at all. Shulamith and Amanda spent the day searching online for a new car for me. They flooded our family text thread with hundreds of cars (only slight hyperbole), one after the other. It was nuts. By mid-afternoon, I was over it. I don't like cars. They don't interest me. I hate driving. It's an unfortunate necessity. Frustrated and tired, I sent these two hardworking women this text:

"Thanks so much for all you've done, but please, no more cars. I'm tired. They all look the same to me. I don't care. Find me a car, and I'll buy it."

There is one issue, though. I will only shop at Carmax, because their business model of full transparency and zero pressure is morally sound. I won't deal with other immoral dealerships and their price finagling, high-pressure nonsense. So Amanda found me a car at Carmax. Shulamith and I went there and bought it. Pretty much just like that. 

We walked into a silent Carmax in the late afternoon, where only a couple salespeople remained. No other customers. The parking lot was an ice rink, and thick snow blanketed the rows of cars, as more snow fell atop them. 

"I'd like to see your 2019 Dodge Grand Caravan," I told the lady at the front desk.

"Now?" she asked, incredulously.

"Uh yeah. Sorry. It's a long story, but I need to buy a car today."

She found me Nathan, one of the two salespeople, and I repeated the conversation with him.

            

"You want me to dig out the car right now?" he asked.

"Yeah. Sorry!"

"I can't let you test drive it today because of the road conditions," he warned.

At this point, Shulamith jumped in to assure him. "If you will dig out this car, she will buy it. She doesn't need to drive it."

Carmax has a 30-day return policy. If you don't like your car, you can return it within 30 days, no questions asked, so buying a snow-covered car that I had never driven and had never even sat in wasn't as much a risk as it seems.

Nathan headed out, trudging through snow up to his knees, as we followed him to the minivan. It is white, so we couldn't really tell where the snow ended and the car began until Nathan started to dig. It was so cold, and I felt so bad for him.

"I'm sorry," I kept saying.

"Hey, I'm selling a car today!" he cheerfully replied. 

We took Shulamith's son, Swen, with us because of his giant love for all moving vehicles. He was dying to choose a car for me, even though Amanda had already found the one I would buy. As Nathan dug, Swen slid wildly around the snowy lot, searching for just the right car. He found what he believed was perfection: a bright red Ford Mustang convertible. At least he got the color right!

"Swen, I have five kids. We would not fit inside a tiny car like that. But it does look cool!"

Even though I didn't buy Swen's choice, but instead the white minivan Nathan dug out of the parking lot, Swen was still excited we could drive home in a new car. 

And we did.

That was over a week ago, and so far, the car is still intact. No one has crashed into me. My driving anxiety is fully triggered, for better or worse, but it's officially spring break (!), and never have I needed it so badly. Self care, here we go.