Advice from a Cop: "Try to Avoid Cops!"

I have mentioned before that I'm not too fond of cops. I realize how that sounds, and if there's anyone reading whose career is law enforcement, I do apologize. But my limited experience with police officers has not been good. There was this time. And this time. However, I may need to rethink my stereotype just a bit after yesterday. Clearly, stereotypes are unfair and judgmental.

To backtrack, for the past few weeks, I've been driving around in our mini-van with expired tabs. Why, you may ask, would I do this? Well you see, here in Utah, in order to register a vehicle, one must first go though a process called "emissions and inspection." They test cars to insure that they are both environmentally friendly and safe. This is a good thing. It is. However, our van has a couple of issues that would most certainly cause it to fail the inspection part of the test: a large crack across the windshield and a malfunctioning tail light (maybe two?). So yeah, all this stuff is expensive, not to  mention the cost of the emissions and inspection test itself and then the actual fee to register the car. I don't just happen to have an extra $500 sitting around to do all this, so I've been driving around with expired tabs. Yes, I have. Guilty.

Up until yesterday, that was working just fine, but alas, my luck ran out. As Seth and I sat at a light on 80th, just a couple blocks from our house, in my rear view mirror, I saw him. A cop! Immediately, I felt my natural bias against cops surface, and sure enough, as soon as I turned the corner, I saw his lights behind me. I pulled over and waited. I never do anything for these people until they ask. I don't scurry around pulling out my license or searching the glove box for the registration or proof of insurance. That's how passive/aggressive I am.

I sat quietly and made him ask for what he wanted. Then I took my time retrieving it. No way would I let him fluster me. No way would I let him think he was causing me even the slightest stress. But this particular cop didn't seem interested in any of that. His mission, surprisingly, was not to make me feel uncomfortable or to exert his authority in order to intimidate me. Not at all. This one was different. He quietly explained that my tabs were expired, and he wondered when I might be able to register my car. I told him about my broken windshield and tail lights and the cost of getting all this stuff fixed, and I said I hoped to register the van very soon (which is the truth).

And then our conversation went from polite to ridiculous and from ridiculous to absurd. He began to explain that I should probably try to avoid cops.

"Wait, you are a cop telling me to avoid cops?" I asked.

"Well, if you're gonna drive around with expired tabs and an outdated insurance card, yes, you should definitely try to avoid them." he replied. "Because if you don't, one of them might give you a ticket."

By this point, I felt like I was in "The Twilight Zone." He went on to suggest ways to avoid cops, like keeping my eyes open and then quickly turning down side streets if I happen to see one. Okay, by now I'm laughing hysterically because I truly can't figure this guy out. Was this a set-up? Were there hidden cameras somewhere? Would I be on TV?

Nope. It was real. He told me to "Have a great evening," and he left.

Seth spoke first: "That was the coolest cop ever!"

Seriously.

I will never allow stereotypes to inform my judgment again. Not ever.