Why Matt hates our Christmases

The blending of two families as a new one is created can be tricky. Oftentimes, our traditions are so firmly established, layered year upon year, that we can't imagine shifting even a little from the way we do things. And at no time are traditions more meaningful or well established than at Christmas.When Gerald and I got married, I know he was taken aback by the intensity with which my family celebrates holidays, especially Christmas. Over time, I think he got used to it. I don't know how much he likes it, but he doesn't object.

Six years ago an unsuspecting young man named Mathew came into our lives. I've joked that it's a very good thing he had already proposed to Shulamith before he experienced his first Erichsen-Webster Christmas, or the marriage may never have happened. You see, as with most relationships, Matt and I have some things in common and other things, not. The most significant thing we have in common is that we're both head-over-heels in love with Shulamith.

Where we part ways most significantly is on the subject of Christmas. I don't know anyone who likes Christmas more than I do, and I don't know anyone who likes it less than Matt. One time a couple years ago, for a Halloween gift, I gave Shulamith some pretty tree ornaments. Knowing this would not be a good gift for Matt, I also included for him some of his favorite candy. I wrapped the gift together, though, and when Matt started to open it, the first thing he saw were the ornaments. He was livid. Really. I don't know if I've ever seen him angrier.

So all this serves as an introduction to a recent discussion between Matt and Shulamith, which demonstrates the experience of hangin' with the Erichsen-Websters on Christmas.

Shulamith: "So first we'll go to church, and then...."

Matt:  "Wait...what? We have to go to church? On Christmas?"

Shulamith: "Well, yes. It's Sunday, so yes."

Matt: "So first we'll get all dressed up and go to church for an hour. Then we'll all come back home, and your mom will make all you girls go change back into your "matching Christmas jammies," which will take another half hour. And  then your dad can take a bunch of pictures until you find one you like. Then everyone will be hungry, so we'll spend another half hour eating.

And finally, it will be time to begin the gift opening marathon. Your mom will pass out gifts, one at a time, to all 9,000,000 people in your family, and one at a time, each person will open his one gift while everyone else watches (ooooh and ahhhh!). After one round of this, your mom will say, "I think we should take a break and go have hot chocolate," and we'll all go back up the stairs to the kitchen.

Then right after hot chocolate is done, we'll do a few more rounds of slowly opening presents, one at a time, and someone will say "I'm hungry," so everyone will stop again to go upstairs and eat while there are still presents to open. Why would you want to do anything else when there are still presents to open? Why would you want to sit and watch everyone else, when you have your own presents under the tree waiting for you? It's just not how it's supposed to be. And this will drag on for the next four or five hours."



All I can say about this whole scenario, Matt, is yes! Yes, yes, yes, YES! That is exactly how it will happen. Isn't it glorious? Just three days from now! I cannot even wait. The most perfect Christmas ever! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!