It is sent with more love than you can even imagine. Do you think he'll like it?

It's been three months now since that August morning when we all loaded into our old minivan and drove to the Salt Lake City Airport. It was a quiet ride, sort of like the proverbial elephant in the room (elephant in the van?). We all knew what that ride to the airport meant, and no one knew quite what to say. We were sending our Seth off, the baby of the family, to serve the people of Paraguay. We would not see him for two years.

My anxiety was in full gear. So many conflicting emotions pulsed through my tired body. I'd barely slept the night before. I was so proud of this kid, yet so sad. I was so grateful for his choices that brought him to this point, yet so heartbroken for the separation to come. I was so excited for the incredible experiences that awaited him, yet so fearful of all the unknown. I wonder how normal, non-anxious moms handle missionary goodbyes? Probably better than I do, but well, I can only be who I am, and I did my very best.

Since that morning, week by week, I've come to adjust to what will be our "new normal" for the next two years, Seth in Paraguay, the rest of us here. And I'm doing pretty well. I live for Monday, P-day, and those emails  that get me through another week. They make me laugh. They make me cry. They make me cringe (sometimes) as his English syntax deteriorates right before my eyes, the obvious product of his intense focus on Spanish. But mostly, his emails fill me with joy because I "hear" his voice in every single line. His tone, diction, sentence structure are all uniquely Seth. He has never been one to mince words; he'll never tell you what he thinks you want to hear. It's always the truth, raw and real.

And the truth is that he is happy. He is happy to be in Paraguay. It was absolutely the right mission for him. This past week, more so than in the past, I sensed that he was truly finding his rhythm. Everything didn't seem so new, so unexpected. There was a sense of confidence I hadn't felt before. I guess he's finding his "new normal" right along with me. I will ever be thankful to his mission presidents, the senior couple serving in Paraguay, and most especially, Elder Guerrero, his trainer and first companion. Elder Guerrero doesn't speak English, and up until three months ago, Seth didn't speak Spanish. Yet upon meeting, Seth said he felt overwhelming love from this young, Bolivian elder, who has taught Seth, guided him, and helped him adjust to the ins and outs of missionary service. Bless you, Elder Guerrero!

And it's a good thing Isaiah has taught Seth to be 100% adventurous about food. There is nothing the two of them won't try. Here's a picture from last week in Paraguay:

He said it's some kind of meat (he's not sure what), with rice topped with tuna and a fried egg on the side!

Now we find ourselves in the midst of our first holiday season without Seth. I think of him every time we celebrate one of our many family traditions. From decorating the house to trying to get my stupid tree set up, Seth was always a central figure. When we carved the Thanksgiving turkey last week, I looked at its giant leg and smiled. Seth likes to take the entire turkey leg and eat the meat right off the bone. Next came Black Friday shopping. Now Seth was never a direct participant in that. The Webster women shopping warriors do Black Friday alone, as we seek to conquer everyone else's Christmas list. But as we mapped out our game plan, it wasn't nearly as urgent this year. Without Seth's list of video game consoles, games, etc. we weren't nearly as frantic. Even so, it was still our favorite day of the entire year. Well, just look at us mid-shopping and afterward as we finally sat down for a Diet Coke and Blizzard break.

Seth's Christmas presents were sent nearly a month ago. It's a bit of a process to get stuff to Paraguay, and it was challenging to know what to do and when. Seth's mission president has requested that parents limit the number of packages they send. It's difficult on their end when hundreds of packages arrive at the mission office, and they are tasked with delivering them all over Paraguay. Also, not all missionaries receive big packages from home, so there is that to consider. The mission president even suggested perhaps not sending a Christmas package, but instead adding some extra money to our missionary's bank account.

I struggled to know what was best. Ultimately, I needed to send something. I couldn't stand the thought of Seth not having anything to open on Christmas. I also tried to be conservative, in order to respect the wishes of the mission president, who obviously knows best what's going on there. I put together a small package, just a few items that fit into a gallon-sized zip lock bag. Then I took this bag to a pickup point for LDSXPRESS, a company that delivers packages to missionaries throughout South America. I expected to find a few parents in line, but this is what I found when I arrived:

Goodness, look at all those people, some with two and three giant bags of presents! Suddenly, I felt woefully inadequate, holding my little bag. It costs $20/lb plus a delivery fee to send this stuff; these people are spending a fortune. All my insecurities surfaced. What if Seth is expecting a bag like one of these? What if he doesn't like the small things I sent? What if he has a bad Christmas, his first one away from home in a foreign country? What if? What if? What if?

Time to readjust. Seriously. This was spinning in an awful direction.

Seth's focus this year is serving others, not what he will receive for Christmas. His best gift (like mine!) will be when we get to talk that day, just 24 days from today. And he will love my little package because he will know that I chose each item carefully, just for him. Would you like to see it??

There is a small Greg Olsen calendar with beautiful pictures of the savior, a pop-up nativity, a little ornament with Mary, Joseph, and the Christ child, Skittles, a book of gummy Life Savers, a missionary tie tack, breath mints, lip balm, and a pair of Christmas socks. Missing in this picture, but included in the package, are a "dope tie" (his only request) and some personalized socks with Waffles' picture all over them.

Here is the package all put together. It first went on a big truck, then on a plane, then (hopefully) to the Paraguay Asuncion Mission office, and then out to Seth before Dec. 25th.

It is sent with more love than you can even imagine. Do you think he'll like it?