From glaciers to Covid: the highs and lows of Alaska crusin'!

It was my third cruise.

In 2008, Shulamith and I took a Western Caribbean cruise to Jamaica, The Grand Cayman Islands, and Cozumel. That was one year before the start of itslegs, so I don't even have a post to prove it. Did it even happen? Then two years ago, we did a Mediterranean cruise to Barcelona, Cannes, Pisa, Florence, and Rome. Both these cruises, though different from each other, were awesome in their own ways. The first was full of relaxation both on warm beaches and on the ship, itself. The second was fast-paced; we basically used the ship as a hotel, a place to sleep. Each morning, we awoke in a new country, having sailed all night, and other than at night, we were rarely on board.

This time was different from both of those. First, we had way more people! Ten! Shulamith, Matt, and their kids; Eli, Amanda, and Jane; Seth and I. Such a fun group!

It was also different because it was kinda cold. We actually had perfect weather for Alaska, but I'm glad we were warned ahead of time to bring warm clothes and dress in layers. For example, this is what sunbathing looks like on an Alaskan cruise:

The ship provided these warm, fresh blankets out on the deck at all times, and we took full advantage. I pretty much wrapped myself in one whenever I was outside. It really was such a fun trip, with mostly "highs" and very few "lows," but allow me to share a few of both:

HIGHS

Service on the ship. From the delightful waitstaff in the dining room, to the dedicated professionals who cleaned our cabins, the bartenders who provided us 20+ Diet Cokes a day, Princess knows how to train its employees. They were thoughtful, kind, and courteous. Our servers in the dining room were over-the-top amazing and brought us way too much food. 

"I can't decide between the lobster bisque and the shrimp cocktail. What do you suggest?" 

"I will bring you both!"

It didn't help that I wasn't ever actually hungry at our 7:30 p.m. dinner appointments. After grazing on pizza and ice cream (available all day) and the buffet which seemed to be open almost all the time too, it was hard not to just eat all the time! Gratefully, the ship had a nice gym, so Shulamith and I were able to work out each morning before everyone else woke up, and we even grabbed a fun Zumba class one day. It wasn't as intense as Matt doing 350 pushups in the rain out on the deck of the ship, but it was something.

Shore Excursions. We went to three cities: Ketchikan, Juneau, and Skagway. I believe Ketchikan was my favorite. It's hard to explain why; it is a city with a small-town feel, surrounded by lush green, rich with Native American history, and home to the largest collection of totem poles in the world. 

The weather was perfect that day, overcast with light, drizzly rain, my absolute favorite! I donned my rain poncho and walked the streets. It was there that I encountered my only actual wildlife scene of the trip. A sea otter caught a fish and ate it right in front of me! Poor fish!

Our second excursion was in Juneau, where we rented a 10-seater van, and Matt drove us around to the various sites. 

The highlight was Mendenhall Glacier. Wow! It's a very good thing we went there when we did, because it is currently closed due to outburst flooding from Suicide Basin.

With three of my five babies: Shulamith, Eli, and Seth

The third and final shore day was in Skagway. Here, most of us went zip-lining. Jane isn't old enough, so she and her parents met up with us later for lunch. I don't have any pics of zip-lining, unfortunately, but the experience was anything but unfortunate. So much fun flying through the trees! I think this might have been Seth's favorite part of the trip? And Shulamith somehow managed to choose the perfect day. It was sunny, so we could see the mountain peaks all around us, and the guides kept telling us that they so rarely get days (and views!) like we had.

Food. As mentioned before, the food on the ship was decent and plentiful. Nothing gourmet, but good. My favorite ship meal was our first night when fresh salmon was on the menu. Mmmmm. The final evening, I had steak and lobster, also delicious. But the best food was off the boat. I can't remember precisely in which city we ate which food, but my favorite shore food were burgers and onion rings at a diner (3rd place), Indian fry bread (2nd place), and this delicious fresh crab (1st place):

Matt, Seth, and I are the only ones of the 10 of us who eat seafood. What's wrong with these people?

LOWS

I feel like I should preface this section with "Lows? I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention." It was a complicated trip, requiring so many steps (passports, flights, shuttles, hotels, van rental, excursions, meals, packing lists, etc.). Shulamith, almost singlehandedly, handled all of it. She truly missed her calling in life; she should have been a professional travel agent. I can really only think of two actual lows:

First, having to work on the trip. I dream of a day that I can take an actual vacation without having to work. But that will be many years in the future, if ever. Tied to the academic year, I can only travel in May, August or December. And December is just a little busy with my favorite holiday, so that leaves May and August. This year, I went to Israel in May and Alaska last week, and on both trips, I was closing out one semester and prepping for a new one. Ugh! One downside of having to work while on a cruise is that Internet is expensive: $30/day. I bought it just once, but sadly took my computer with me on each excursion so I could connect and work while off the ship. I don't particularly recommend this, but if it's this or don't travel, I'll choose this!

Second, Covid. Yes, you heard that right. Friday afternoon, our last day on the ship, we all gathered in one of the lounges to play Bingo. Amanda was trying to win back the $25 Eli lost in the casino playing the claw game. Do they have a 12-step program for claw game addicts? Anyway, we all had our Bingo cards and the caller was about to begin, when I noticed Eli get up and walk out. He hadn't been feeling well that morning, so I assumed he was still sick. When Bingo was over and Amanda and I went to their cabin to check on him, we found him in bed, shivering under a blanket. He said his arms and legs were numb, and that was enough for us to insist we walk down to the ship's medical center.

The care there was fabulous, and after checking his vitals which revealed a fever of 102 degrees, they ran a Covid test which was positive. He had to isolate back in his cabin the rest of the evening and ride separately to the airport from all the rest of us the next morning. However this "low" could have been so much lower, had he become ill earlier in the week. He might have missed so much! Once home, Matt also tested positive, and Amanda, Shulamith, and I were all a little sick, so it's possible we had mild cases as well.

We flew out of Anchorage on a red-eye that left at 12:31 a.m. Sunday, and we were back in SLC at 7:00 a.m., tired and jet-lagged, but happy. 

It was a good trip. Here are a few random pics:

Back left to right: Amanda, Eli, Seth, me, Shulamith, Matt.

Front left to right: Jane, Theodore, Kennedy, Swen

Seth and I in Edmonton, Alberta, our layover stop on the way to the cruise in Vancouver, B.C.

Kennedy in the sunset!

Shulamith and I

My Wednesday mornings will begin later now. I'm sad.

Typically on Tuesday nights, I get a text from Shulamith shortly before I go to bed: "Pick you up at 5:55 a.m.?" 

Ugh.

Yes, I do cringe every week when I read that text. I love my sleep. I love to wake up around 7:00ish, hurkle-durkle in bed while browsing my phone for 15-20 minutes, then go down to my gym to work out, with plenty of time to shower and be at school for a 10:00 class. Instead, on Wednesday mornings, I set my alarm for 5:45 a.m., giving me just enough time to get up, dress, brush teeth, and pull my hair into a pony. By then Shulamith is already parked in front of my house, texting "Here."

We drive the two minutes up to Origin Fitness Syndicate for our circuit strength training class with Courtney. It's hard. It's always hard. By far the hardest workout of my week. Sometimes as we walk into the gym, one of us whines, "I'm don't think I wanna do this today." But always, always when we walk out at 6:50, we feel happy. All those marvelous endorphins are doing their job, and we feel so great, like we've overcome the world! It's the most satisfying feeling! 

I need to offer a giant shoutout to Courtney. She is a fabulous teacher, trainer, and human. She is kind and supportive, yet manages to get me to do stuff I never thought I could do. "You can go heavier." (Can I, though?) And then I do. Though I began strength training about a year and a half ago, my progress has increased exponentially in the ten months I've had the opportunity to work with Courtney. The only problem is that other people don't seem to want to get up at 6:00 a.m. and join us, so while it's supposed to be a circuit training class, 90% of the time, it's just Shulamith and I who attend. 

And that is not enough people. This past week, the owner of the gym told Courtney that our Wednesday, 6:00 a.m. class is now canceled. I get it. Two people does not a class make. So I'm back on my own, as I am all the other days besides Wednesdays, and Shulamith found us a great app ("Sadie Active"). But I already miss that one ultra-challenging morning. I need to find a replacement for it, and I will. But, no, I don't think I'll ever be able to replace Courtney.

My Wednesday mornings will begin later now. I'm sad. 

2024 Favorites!

First, how can 2024 be over? Like really.

Second, it passed so quickly I hardly remember anything I did.

Third, here's my best effort to remember the year and share a few of my personal favorites:

Favorite Movie

Here, the story of multiple families that live in the same house over the course of half a century. Loved every second! You will too.

Runner up: Wicked. You already know all about that one! It doesn't compare to the live production on the Broadway stage, but as movies go, it is fabulous!

Favorite Book

11-23-63, by Stephen King. Yes, you read that right. My first Stephen King novel. I don't read horror. I need to sleep at night. But this one is not his typical horror story, but rather drama, a love story of the highest caliber, set within a cool fantasy (time travel). That's all I'm gonna tell you, other than that Stephen King is a brilliant writer, whose voice captivates from Page 1. Read this book.

Runner up: The Outlaw Noble Salt, by Amy Harmon. Again, not the type of book I'm typically drawn to, this fictionalized account of Butch Cassidy had me gripped in its palm start to finish. A slow-burn romance (the best kind), it made me hope, wish, believe (?) that it was all true, that maybe Robert LeRoy Parker (aka Butch Cassidy) was good at his core after all, and maybe, just maybe, he found his Jane again in the end. Read it, and let me know what you think. 

Favorite Trip

New York City in February (shocking, I know, considering we're headed back in just four days). We saw Hamilton, The Notebook, Sweeny Todd, &Juliet, and Book of Mormon, and they were all amazing! Counting down the hours till we board our red-eye flight just after midnight in the wee hours of this coming Thursday morning! Be jealous. 

Runner up: My visit home to Washington and Oregon in May. Gerald and I were supposed to be in Israel, but the tragedy of war forced us to postpone. The time in the Northwest was delightful, mostly because it rained nearly every day, but also because I got to see so many lovely people: Gerald's family; my cousin, Diana; Tom, Yvonne, and my mom; my niece, Leslie and her family; my niece, Carley; and my best friend, Lorrie.

Favorite TV Show

Nobody Wants This. Possibly the cutest little rom-com ever, as a Jewish Rabbi and an agnostic podcaster fall in love. And they are adorable. 

Runner up: High Potential. The plot of this one sounds so ridiculous, I can't even write it. And yet...you should probably just watch it and see.

Favorite Party

My ninth annual Christmas cookie exchange, with my best friends from the former Union Park 6th Ward in Sandy. Our ward was obliterated in 2018, and two friends from our group have since moved out of the state (Hi, Katie and Kara!), but even all that can't break apart friendship his solid. This year, nearly everyone who still lives here in the valley was able to come, and it was the best evening. The years melted!

Runner up: My book group's holiday party and "favorite things" gift exchange. This year our leader decided we should dress in formal wear! I was so excited, I dug out the dress I wore to Shulamith's wedding, the picture at the bottom of this post.

Favorite Blog Posts

...from my personal blog itslegs.blogspot.com: "The worst part was seeing my kids so sad." It surely wasn't the most joyful post, but it was the one that generated the most page views (over double any of the others), so I know it resonated with many.

...from my church blog thereisroomforyou.blogspot.com: "You don't have to be Nephi." The title tells the story.

Favorite Meal

Just before Christmas, I went to Portland for four days to visit my family and crash their extended family party. The dinner? Truly the stuff dreams are made of. They smoked three meats: turkey, roast beef and pork, and augmented them with sides of mashed potatoes, stuffing, mac & cheese, and buttery garlic green beans. Dessert included my absolute favorite: pecan pie (!) which I don't get often enough because no one in my Utah family really likes it except me. I ate one piece each day the whole four days I was there.

Favorite New (to me) Restaurant

Lucky Thai, a tiny family-owned place up by Smith's in Herriman. I believe it's the best Thai food I've ever eaten. You should head there right now, and order the yellow curry!

Favorite Purchase

My 15 and 20-lb. weights, because they remind me that, although I'm still the weakest person in the gym and probably always will be, I'm getting stronger every day thorough focused, consistent training.

And that concludes my favorites from 2024. What are yours?

Love Languages and Sacred Days

"Mine's Acts of Service"

"Mine's Quality Time."

"Mine's Physical Touch."

Most of us need only to hear such declarations to know the reference: Gary Chapman's iconic book The 5 Love Languages, published over 20 years ago. I've always sorta felt left out, like the author failed to include mine. If I had to choose from his five, I suppose I'd say "Words of Affirmation." With performance anxiety, it's helpful to hear that I'm doing okay. However, without question my genuine love language is loyalty, and that one didn't even make his list. To feel truly loved, I need to know that my friends are on my side, ready to stand up for me in any situation, against any criticism or opposing force. They are never neutral; they always have my back. And that one doesn't fit into any of Chapman's five.

It's fine. He obviously didn't write the book for me. That said, he was close on another one: Receiving Gifts. Except it's the opposite for me. While I enjoy receiving gifts as much as the next person, I wouldn't call it my love language. But the opposite? Giving gifts? Yes. That is it. Which is why Black Friday is a sacred day for me. Right up there with Christmas and the last day of every semester. Sacred, I tell you.

Last year, when I posted about Black Friday, I titled the post "It's okay. It will come again and again." And it did! So much quicker than we expected. 

I set my alarm for 6:45 a.m., though there was no need; I was wide awake at 5:00, too excited to sleep longer. I lay in bed for an hour dreaming of all the great sales we would find and how we would delight in every perfect gift. Dressed in warm, comfy clothes and shoes, with "Winter Wonderland" playing loud and proud, I drove around the corner and picked up Shulamith at 6:59 a.m. We drove through Starbucks for our annual hot chocolate, followed by Chick-fil-a to fill up our Stanleys with fresh Diet Coke, and headed to Sandy Target. We were ready. We were set. It was go time!

We were in Target around three hours and found so much good stuff! Of course, I can't tell you what any of that stuff is, because it's highly classified Christmas information, but trust me; it's crazy good stuff. Oh I can tell you one thing, so you don't feel totally left out. We found super cute maxi dresses for ourselves, mine in black and Shulamith's in black/white stripes. About an hour in, we wandered upon our Black Friday Target friends, the Combe Family! Sandy, Jen, Whitney, and Kelsey were there as they always are, a constant in our Black Friday lives. Yes, we see all of them once a month at Bunco, but this is different. Thank you, Combes, for showing up for us. We left Target around 10:30 with our haul and drove to Fashion Place mall.

Fashion Place brings all the feels, with memories dating back to 2004-2008, when Shulamith was in college, and I'd fly down from Billings to visit her. Hangin' at the mall while she worked across the street at Macaroni Grill. Shopping for my dress for her wedding and finding it at the Black & White store. To this day that dress hangs in my closet, and I love it. But guess what??? My book group just announced that the dress standard for our annual Christmas party will be "formalwear." Yes! I'm totally wearing that dress! 

We took a break for lunch at Cheesecake Factory, and then went right back to our shopping frenzy. So many stores at Fashion Place and so many great presents!  Again, I can't tell you about them, but not to worry. I'll fill in all the blanks eventually in my Christmas post! 

We did just two more stops to round out our Black Friday 2024: Hobby Lobby and Walmart. We found a few things, but that will be the last time I shop at either of these stores in the foreseeable future. I recently learned that both donated considerable funds to the Trump campaign, and I understand the assignment. In the next four years I will seek out as many ways as possible to resist; I will not stay silent. And my first step is boycotting businesses that donated to that man's campaign.

With my minivan filled to the brim, we headed home. Hardly anything brings me more joy than finding just the right Christmas gifts for my five kids. And this may have been the most productive Black Friday in our Black Friday history!

But the sacred day ended. As they all do. I'm already excited for next year. 

Swen-isms - Part VIII

 300. Today is New Year's Day, 2024, and we planned to meet Eli, Amanda, and Jane for lunch. Swen was super slow to get ready, and Shulamith texted me to say she'd be late to pick me up as a result. On the way to the restaurant, Swen explained to Shulamith why he took so long to get ready.

Swen: I wanted Eli and Amanda to have to wait for us, because we always have to wait for them.

301. On that same drive to lunch today, I showed Swen a picture of President Nelson and his wife, Wendy.

Me: Look, this is President Nelson with his cute, young wife.

Swen (looking at the picture): Wow, that's sort of like how it is with Gerald and you.

302. And yet again, as we were driving to the restaurant, Swen was throwing things at me from the backseat and trying to hit me in the face.

Me: Stop throwing stuff at me, Swen?!

(He continued to throw even more random items.)

Shulamith: Who has the power in this relationship, you or Swen?

Swen: Definitely me!

(He's not wrong.)

303. I'm here with Shulamith's three kids today because she's at some training meeting, and her kids don't go back to school until tomorrow. Swen got a giant stuffed snake for Christmas. (If you know me at all you know I have a fully irrational, but still very real, phobia of snakes.) Swen has always been very protective of me with regard to this fear; he warns me if he sees pictures of them or toy ones in stores (yes, I'm afraid of both; go ahead in laugh. I don't mind). So today, he brings down this snake stuffed into a big pillowcase, so I can't see it. As I'm trying to get him to take his ADHD medication (PLEASE!), he picks up the pillowcase:

Swen: I have a snake in here, and I'm not afraid to use it!

304. Swen: If you could only save me, Kennedy, and Theodore OR the whole world, which would you choose?

Me: You and your siblings. 

Swen: But then the while world would go extinct. Siblings can't get married, so there would be no more people. Unless you would mate with Gerald again to have more kids.

304. Swen: Hey Her. Did you and Gerald ever share a spaghetti noodle?

Me: What?? No. We have our own food. Why would we do that? 

Swen: Because I have this feeling that Gerald might have been cute back then. Or did you just marry him for his Porsche?

305. Swen: Gerald is kinda like a dog.

Me: Why do you say that?

Swen: Well, he stays in the basement all the time, like Waffles, and doesn't do anything. And he'll eat anything.

306. I have a bronze statue of three ballerinas at the barre. We always say that they are Kennedy, Shulamith, and me, because we all three danced while growing up. 

Swen (pointing at each girl): Oh this one is definitely Mom because she looks like she's about to fall. And this one is Kennedy because she has an ugly outfit. And this one is you because her nose is all pointy.

307. Swen was sick today and home from school. I spent part of the morning with him after I helped Shulamith assess her kindergarteners. Swen talked to me nonstop, asking question after question. I was trying to work on one of my classes as the semester begins Monday.

Me: Swen, just let me get this one thing done, and then I'll stop working and talk to you.

Swen: Her, wait, just one more question. Well....actually 60 more questions.

308. Recently Swen and Shulamith met with Ms. Felt, the principal (and Shulamith's boss) to talk about why Swen doesn't like his rotations group and to problem solve the situation. At one point Swen randomly started talking.

Swen: My mom just thinks everyone should be nice to each other and have peace and love everyone. But there is a war in the middle east. See, Mom, Ms. Felt knows there are wars.

309. In our church, boys receive the Aaronic Priesthood and are ordained to the office of a Deacon at age 11. Here is Shulamith's report of what happened when Swen was recently ordained.

Swen: I don't want a bunch of men putting their hands on my head.

Bishop: Well, how about just four men? Your dad and the bishopric?

Apparently, this was acceptable to Swen, because Shulamith says the ordination occurred.  

310. The smoke detector wiring throughout our house malfunctioned, and fire alarms were randomly sounding here and there all evening. I was telling Shulamith that I don't mind the chirping that smoke detectors do when batteries are expired because I've lived with that for decades. But actual LOUD alarms? That's totally different. 

Swen: Why didn't you change out the batteries?

Me: Because I don't know how and can't really reach them.

Swen: Her. You are a college teacher and a very mature person. Are you telling me you don't know how to change batteries in a smoke detector? 

311. Shulamith and Matt are friends with a guy Matt went to high school with and his wife. Tommy is very slender. (as is Swen).

Swen: Mom, I think I'll always be small. When I'm a grown-up, I'll probably be as small as Tommy.

312. Shulamith and I took her kids to McDonald's for dinner tonight. While we were there, Shulamith asked all of us how she should dress up for the 100th day of school. Kindergarten teachers typically try to dress like a 100-year-old woman.

Swen: Her, why don't you just go there as yourself.

313. So Shulamith was trying to bribe Swen to make good choices at school, so the administration (aka her bosses) don't have to call her to chat about something silly he did. She told Swen that if he would get through an entire week with no phone calls from the school, she'd let him stay up as late as he wanted, all night even, playing Roblox. So by Thursday, no calls!

Shulamith: Swen, you're doing so well this week. I haven't received a single phone call from the school.

Swen: Didn't Ms. Manning [assistant principal] call you? 

Shulamith: Uh no. Why would she call me, Swen?

Swen: Well, this one kid was telling me that I'm not a S.W.A T. guy, and I am. This made me mad, so I told my friend to go tell him he's a "nobody." So he did, and then the two of them got in a fight, punching each other. I didn't fight with anyone, but I still had to go talk to Ms. Manning.

Shulamith: But she didn't call me. Why didn't she call me?

Swen: Well, I explained to her that she CAN'T call you, because if no one from the school calls her about me this week, I get to stay up all night night playing Roblox on Friday. So she said, "Well, I guess what you did isn't really that bad, Swen. I won't call her."

314. One day last week Swen was supposed to ride the bus to school because Shulamith had an early meeting. She took Kennedy and Theodore with her but left Swen to ride the but. So of course, he didn't do that, but instead stayed home and watched TV. When Shulamith saw that he was marked absent, she called Swen and told him to get his stuff ready because Gerald would be there in five minutes to pick him up and take him to school. That all went as planned, but later they were talking about it.

Swen: Mom, wanna hear something crazy?

Shulamith: Sure.

Swen: When Gerald drove me to school the other day, I asked him questions, and he answered me. I asked him lots of questions, and he answered all of them!

Shulamith: Why's that crazy?

Swen: Because Gerald has never talked to me in my whole life.

315. Shulamith: Her is picking you up from your Jujutsu class today.

Swen: Oh no! Her is so stupid she will never be able to find the place.

Shulamith: I gave her the directions, she can use GPS.

Swen: No, Mom. Her still won't ever find it. She can't find her way to anywhere. I'll have to stay there all night. I'll have to sleep there. Her is that dumb.

316. Somewhere, Swen heard about the movie, Sin City.

Swen: Mom, have you seen the movie Sin City?

Shulamith: No, but you should ask Dad about it.

Swen: Dad, have you seen the movie Sin City?

Matt: Oh yeah. It's one of my favorite movies.

Swen: Really? That surprises me.

Matt: Why?

Swen: Because you're a nice person and you even go to church.

317. I picked up Swen from his jujutsu class and took him to Walmart, because the $50 he earned from feeding the neighbors' birds and axolotl was burning a proverbial hold in his pocket. As we drove down one aisle of the parking lot, all the spaces on the right were full. There were a couple on the left, but those would require me to make a U-turn in the parking aisle, and no I wasn't gonna do that. So I continued on until we came to an empty spot on the correct side.

Swen: Her, you are so dumb! Why didn't you park back there in those empty spaces?

Me: Because they were going the wrong direction.

Swen: Why can't you ever do anything right? You are the dumbest person I know. Don't you know Jesus is always saying to choose the right, but you never, ever do that.

318. Amanda gave me a mouse pad with Jane's picture on it a long time ago, like well over a year. Yet Swen is still unhappy about it.

Swen: Isn't it sad that Her loves Jane more than us?

Shulamith: Why do you think Her loves Jane more than you?

Swen: Because she bought a mouse pad with a big picture of Jane on it.

Shulamith: I don't think she bought it; I think Amanda gave it to her.

Swen: What kind of person would think their child is so special that they would give their mother a mouse pad with a huge picture of their child's face on it? 

319. This past week was Easter. Immediately following a congregational hymn "Christ the Lord Is Risen Today," Swen and Shulamith had the following conversation:

Swen: Why are all these people singing so loud, with big silly smiles on their faces?

Shulamith: Maybe because it's Easter, and they were really feeling the Spirit.

Swen: WHAT do you mean "Spirit"????

Shulamith: The Holy Ghost. When you feel really close to our Heavenly Parents and Jesus, so you feel so happy inside.

Swen: I have NEVER felt like that. And I would certainly never sing like this (big, fake smile on his face, bobbing his head, pretending to sing).

320. Shulamith walked downstairs wearing a denim jacket.

Swen: Mom, you have your clothes on inside out.

Shulamith (glancing down at her clothes): No, this is right.

Swen: Mom, you're wearing jeans on your arms.

321. Swen auditioned and was cast in a play at his elementary school a while back. Now that the performance  is coming nearer, he needed to make few things clear.

Shulamith: I am so excited to see you in your play!

Swen: Okay, But I don't want you to act all weird.

Shulamith: what do you mean?

Swen: Like you do at Kennedy's dance recitals. I don't want you being all weird and loud and shouting things like [high voice] "Oh, yay Swen!!! Hooray!!!"

Shulamith: I don't really shout, Swen.

Swen: Oh you do. And I also don't want you to get tickets for you and everyone in your family to sit in the front row. I ant you in the back!

322. Swen is going to the temple tonight with the youth from our ward to do proxy baptisms. Shulamith was explaining to him what it is, why we do it, how cool it is, and what to expect. 

Swen: Well, it's kinda creepy that a bunch of dead people are waiting around there to be baptized.

323. Swen: Her, do you wanna know what I tell my friends when they ask me who you are?

Me: Sure.

Swen: I say you're my aunt. Is that good?

Me: Well, it's not true, but it's not bad, so sure.

Swen: Maybe I'll just tell them you're an unknown being that is with our family a lot.

324. Traffic was unbelievable awful tonight, especially on Redwood and Porter Rockwell. Shulamith had to drive Kennedy to dance; then come back and get Swen, Theodore and me; drop Swen at Jujitsu; before we headed to Theodore's school to watch him in his DLI Spanish program. She was doing her best, but the wretched traffic made it so Swen would be 10 minutes late for Jujitsu. He was not happy about that.

Swen: I'm going to be late for Jujitsu, and it's all Kennedy's fault and her stupid dance.

Shulamith: No, it's the traffic's fault.

Swen: It's Kennedy's fault and also Theodore's and his dumb program.

Shulamith: Nope. It's traffic.

Swen: We can't blame cars for things. They're not real. We have to blame a person. Hey, maybe we can blame Jane!

325. Swen: I have a crush on Lilly still. Theodore, who do you have a crush on?

Theodore: Nobody.

Swen: Who is it? Max?

Theodore: No, he's a boy. That'd be weird.

Swen: Mom!! Theodore is being homophobic!

Shulamith: No, it's just that Theodore isn't gay, so it would seem weird to him to have a crush on a boy. He's not being homophobic.

Swen: Oh, okay, good.

326. Swen: Let's take the leftovers to Gerald. He'll eat anything. He's like a hog.

327. Shulamith had just baked cookies for something she was going to that evening. As she turned around quickly, all 12 cooies slid off the cookie sheet and into the sink.

Shulamith: [some sort of phrase that my have included swear words.]

Swen: Mom, those cookies are ruining our family.

328. I picked up Swen to taek him to Jujutsu, but I was texting someone, so I hadn't started the car yet, and Swen was feeling impatient.

Swen: Her! Am I gonna have to yell at you? I don't want to have to yell at you, but you need to start this car and go!

329. Swen recently returned from a week at diabetes camp. He really likes it there.

To his mom:

Swen: Camp is my first home. Our house is my second home.

To me:

Swen: Her, camp is just so uch fun. One day you'll understand.

330. Swen was mad at Shulamith for some reason. Most likely, he wanted something and she wouldn't buy it, or he wanted more time on his phone, and she wouldn't give it to him.

Swen: You're the worst mom ever.

Me: Swen! Stop saying that. You have the best mom. You are so lucky to have her.

Swen: No she isn't. She needs to read a parenting book.

331. So I run outside and jump into Shulamith's car, as I do most days, and Swen is in the seat right behind me. He immediately grabs my seatbelt to lock it tight, then puts his left foot up over the headrest and onto my shoulder. (This is a very common occurrence.)

Swen: Oh sorry, Her. I didn't know you were there.

332. Swen loves washing machines and has researched them fully, so when I decided to replace my washer/dryer set, he was excited to participate.

Shulamith: Let's go with Her to buy a new washing maching and dryer.

Swen: You don't get to help her make this decision. I'm in charge."

(I actually changed my mind and chose a front loader, based solely on Swen's research and insistence that they are better than top loaders.)

333. I recently bought a new MacAir laptop, and Swen wants my old one. But I'm gradually transitioning to my new machine and not quite ready to part with my old one, even though it's seven years old, not running well, and barely holds a charge. 

Swen: Her, give me your old computer.

Me: Not quite yet.

Swen: Give it to me. Mom said I can have it, and she's usually in charge of you.

334. Shulamith was checking Swen's backpack, homework, etc., and she came across a math assignment he had done. It was a story problem that began, "George needs help with his homework. Help him solve this problem."

...to which  Swen wrote, "I am not going to help George with his homework. George can do his own homework. Womp womp. Poor George."

335. I got new end tables for my living room. After Swen saw them, he  had this to say to his mother:

Swen: Mom! Why is Her's house so nice and decorated and ours is still so ugly with nothing?

336. Swen: Mom, can we go to In-N-Out tonight?

Shulamith: No, Dad took you there two days ago.

Swen: Okay. When I'm rich one day, I'm going to eat out like once a week.

337. Swen is in middle school for the first time, where they have actual grades.

Swen: Mom, is a "D" a good grade?

Shulamith: Well, not really, no. But it's passing, at least.

Swen: Good. Cuz that's pretty much what I'm aiming for. Maybe with a couple C's. 

338. Swen: Why doesn't Gerald get in any car wrecks, the way he drives?

Shulamith: I don't know. He's very lucky, I guess. Because he drives way too slow to be safe.

Me: Jesus really loves him.

Swen: I wonder why Jesus doesn't love you, Her. I know you really like Him.

338. Shulamith: Swen, when we get home, we need to work on your homework.

Swen: No!!

Me: Swen, you do need to do your homework, and be glad Mom wants to help you.

Swen: Really Her? Is this why Luke never comes to visit? Because you mad him do homework?

339. Swen has his first Jutitsu competition last weekend. Before he even got to compete in a match, there was a fire in the break room of the sports center.

Swen: This is the bst competition I've ever been to!

340. Swen: When am I gonna see Kylee again? I have a Pokemon card to give her.

Shulamith: I don't know for sure. It could be Christmas.

Matt: Are you asking about my cousin, Kylie? 

Swen: No! I don't even know who that is. I'm asking about Seth's girlfriend. 

Matt: She is just a girlfriend, Swen; she is not his wife.

Swen: Well when are they gonna get married?

Shulamith: Swen, they've only been dating two months. It's way too soon. Dad and I dated for eight months before he proposed.

Swen: What the heck, Dad? It took you that long to decide?

341. Kennedy always illustrates my Christmas letter. She had for several years.

Swen: Why does Kennedy always get to draw on your Christmas card? Why don't I ever get to?

Me: I didn't know you wanted to, Swen. 

Swen: Yeah, I could draw a guy robbing a bank, or a giant car crash where everyone dies, planes exploding in the sky. 

Me: That is not what I had in mind for my Christmas cards, Swen.

It's okay. It will come again and again and again.

Thursday evening after dinner, I fell into a deep, post-Thanksgiving meal sleep. We had feasted on turkey that Mathew smoked in his Traeger, and I'm pretty sure I'll never roast a Thanksgiving turkey in my oven ever again. I'm not a fan of surprises or things not going according to my ever-so-careful plans, but this particular part of the mayhem worked out perfectly. When my oven broke prior to Thanksgiving and was not repairable, we asked Matt if he'd consider smoking the turkey, in case I couldn't get a new oven installed in time. As it turned out, my new oven was delivered Wednesday evening, but Matt decided to go forward with the smoking adventure anyway. I AM SO GLAD HE DID! Augmented with the traditional stuffing, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, deviled eggs, and rolls, it was a fabulous meal. Sadly, I didn't remember to take any pictures that day, other than my BeReal, so I'll give you that one:

Sorry no one was posing or even looking at the camera, but we were all too busy being real. 

Throughout the day, like so many other moms, I felt immense gratitude for my wonderful family; everyone was here with us except Luke and his daughter, who live in Maryland. People tell you to avoid discussion of religion and politics at social gatherings, but in our family, those are the two most favorite topics of all, and Thursday was no exception. It was somber as we shared our feelings about the tragic situation in Israel, and our heartbreak for all parties involved. Gerald and I have a trip to Israel scheduled for May. Will we even get to go? We don't know. 

Between dinner and dessert (yes, Matt, that's how it goes; we need time to digest our food and get hungry again before diving into pie), we played Ransom Notes and Family Feud. Eli is the best game show host and should definitely be on TV! Eventually, I found my way upstairs to my glorious bed, and, as noted above, fell promptly into unconsciousness, but not before remembering that "Tomorrow is arguably the best day of the entire year!" It's true. I love all holidays because I love to celebrate! I love making memories, establishing traditions, and any excuse for my family to be together. But Black Friday is special. It brings together most of my favorite things: shopping, eating, laughing, and preparing for Christmas. 

I can't even remember the first time Shulamith and I went Black Friday shopping, but it's been at least two decades. And we never miss a year. For seven of those, we froze to death through the early-morning winters in Billings, Montana. Even in 2020 when we were stuck home here in Utah, we improvised. Yesterday marks another Black Friday shopping day, and it was epic. I picked Shulamith up at 7 a.m., the first snow of the season falling gently to earth on BLACK FRIDAY! Could it get any better? We drove through Beans & Brews for steaming cups of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream, then headed straight to Target. In a couple hours we parted with much of our Christmas cash, but also made serious progress on our Christmas shopping lists, and we moved on to Fashion Place. That place has way too many memories for me and surfaces all sorts of nostalgia. Coming to visit Shulamith during her college days, roaming the mall while she finished her shift across the street at Macaroni Grill, shopping for my dress for her wedding, the list goes on.

We are, if nothing else, efficient shoppers, and at the mall, we continued to cross item after item off our list. The only lack of efficiency was a few times when I tried to pay, and the sales associate told me they "don't take cash at this register" and I'd have to go to a different one. Haha, I use cash only one day in the year: Black Friday. I withdraw cash every month starting in January and put it in a well-hidden envelope. By Black Friday shopping day, I have quite a wad. I love using the cash! It's already out of my account, so I mean it's basically free money when you think about it. 

While sharing our favorite Chicken Madeira with mashed potatoes at Cheesecake Factory, we reorganized ourselves and our shopping lists, and formulated a plan of action for the afternoon. We also took the opportunity to order stuff from Amazon, because, though we love the "shopping in real stores" experience, some deals are just better online. With Thanksgiving desserts still in our fridges at home, we skipped cheesecake and headed back out.

Next stop, Costco, followed by Walmart, our absolute least favorite store, but one that had a few items we needed. After an hour or so at each, we declared ourselves done for the day. One brief stop at Maverik for Diet Coke, and we were home.

Oh, and in case you're asking yourselves, "Did they buy anything for themselves?" of course we did. Every year, we get one item for ourselves, usually the same thing, but this year, not even close. I bought a super cute pair of corduroy joggers, and Shulamith bought a 4-slice toaster. When your husband bakes the best sourdough bread on the planet, your family eats a lot of toast!

Friday night, I began to feel the sadness of the day ending. It was exactly the emotional boost I needed, in the throws of so, so much grading and the many challenges that have been mine this fall. But Black Friday will come again and again and again, and now we focus forward, toward our month-long celebration of the baby born so long ago, in a small town to humble parents, the baby that changed absolutely everything.

The Son shone brightly this Easter morn!

 

For those of us in the Salt Lake Valley, it's been a long, hard winter. Yes, I lived in Montana for seven years, where winters could be even more challenging, but in my 12 years here in Utah, I've never experienced such relentless cold or never-ending snow. Every time we dared to think "Maybe this is the last big storm," another arrived. As recently as last week, we had over foot of new snowfall, closing our local school district yet again and triggering my driving anxiety. Yet again!

But this Easter morn, the Son shone brightly!

Guys! It was such a beautiful day! As I walked into church, wearing a short-sleeved dress and no coat, I couldn't help think about the first Easter morn, when after three days of what must have been crippling grief, Jesus' followers awoke to a beautiful day. Their Lord had risen, culminating the most miraculous event in human history, and the most impactful. The Son shone brightly that Easter morn.

....as it does today. For us! Easter reminds us that hope is ours for the asking. It is freely given, and received by anyone who desires it. 

Even after the snowiest winter, because of the Son, the sun will shine again.

Through the most tumultuous storms, whether literal or figurative, because of the Son, calm will come.

They say time heals all wounds, but that is not true. Jesus heals all wounds. Absolutely all of them.

Not that I'm wishing time away, because I'm definitely not. I actually find myself regularly wishing time would slow down. But I do look forward with excitement to the end of this year when we get to study the final book of The New Testament: The Revelation of St. John the Divine, which includes one of my most favorite references:

"And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it; for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof. And the nations of them which are saved shall walk in the light of it: and the kings of the earth do bring their glory and honour into it" (Revelation 21:23-24).

Had Easter been any earlier this year, we would have had some snowy Easter egg hunts. And that would have been just fine too because, as the above scripture promises, we have no need of the sun to light our lives, if we invite the Son to do so. 

Still, I like to think God looked down upon all of us here in the valley, and with infinite grace, sent us spring, just in time for Easter.

The Son shone brightly this Easter morn!

I am grateful.

(Early Happy Birthday to our favorite Isaiah, who will be working in Las Vegas next week on his actual birthday!)

Theodore's Themes: Part 4

 

67. We were in St. George for New Year's weekend an ate at The Crepery, one of our favorite places. Theodore took some of the plastic silverware with him when we left. 

Isaiah: Did you steal that, Theodore?

Theodore: No one will ever know who took it.

68. Seth got Theodore a toy vacuum for Christmas, something he really wanted. He was telling me about it. I asked him if he could use it to vacuum my house for me.

Theodore: Yes! It cleans real.

69. In St. George, Theodore really wanted to sleep on the top bunk of the bunk beds, but we were worried because he sometimes falls out of his own non-bunk bed at home.

Theodore: Well at home I put some glue right here (pointing to the back of his head) and right here (pointing to his back) so I stick to the wall and not fall out. Then I put some right here (pointing to his nose) for when I sleep like this (face toward the wall). 

70. Shulamith and Matt recently bought a new mattress, so Shulamith was dragging their old king mattress down her stairs, because someone was coming to pick it up.

Shulamith: Look, Theodore, I am super strong!

Theodore:  Mom, you're only strong if you lift it; you're not strong if you drag it.

71. Last week, I substituted in a seminary class. The regular teacher had COVID and since my college classes hadn't started yet, I was available all week to sub. That meant I was gone all day the whole week, which apparently troubled Theodore, who is used to hanging out with his mom and me pretty much every day. One day, Shulamith happened to put a box of stuff on the passenger's seat of her van.

Theodore: You can't put there. That's where Her sits. I want Her sitting right there!

72. Shulamith wanted Theodore to wear a plain-colored dress shirt to church, but Theodore wanted to wear his Paw Patrol T-shirt. He was very distraught over this.

Theodore (pointing to the dress shirts with his typical open hand): I will NOT look beautiful wearing these shirts.

73. Theodore and his friend Matthew were playing Hide-&-Seek today. 

Theodore: You hide, and I will count to 2.

Matthew: That's not long enough for me to hide.

Theodore: I don't like counting so many. I don't know all the numbers.

74. Theodore (to Swen): When we die and see Jesus, I'm goin to tell Jesus that I don't like you.

75. Shulamith was trying to get Theodore to do something, and he shook his head "no." 

Theodore: I wiggled my head because I don't want to do that.

76. There was this one time when I had three car accidents in the same year, two of them in the same month! Not long before I wrecked my former car, Kennedy had been sick and thrown up in the back seat. I have no idea how Theodore remembers this, but just yesterday, he brought it up.

Theodore: When Kennedy threw up in your car, you still likeded Kennedy, but you didn't like the throw up.

77. Shulamith: Theodore, you made a heart at preschool?

Theodore: Yep!

Shulamith: And what did you write on it?

Theodore: I wrote my mom and my dad and my sister.

Shulamith: Oh really? And that's all?

Theodore: Yep!

Shulamith: You didn't write Swen?

Theodore: No.

Shulamith: Why not?

Theodore: Because 'member....he's mean.

Shulamith: I'm sorry. We love Swen! You should write him on the heart.

Theodore: I didn't. 

78. After spending an hour playing on my phone:

Theodore: I only buyed 2 games, so you won't be mad.

Me: I'm not mad, but did you have to pay for those games?

Theodore: No. This one said "download," and it was already download on Mom's phone and it's the same picture, so that means not money.

78. Theodore: When I grow up, I'm gonna ride the Hoverboard on my feet and drink Mtn. Dew.

79. Me (at a restaurant): We need to wait for Swen, so he isn't scared when he comes out of the bathroom.

Theodore: Swen is not scared. Swen is brave.

80. In the morning rush, as I was getting Swen and Kennedy off to the bus, I was desperately searching for Kennedy's backpack. Finally I asked Theodore if he knew where it was, and he pointed to my back. Yep, I was wearing it! Later that day, we had this conversation:

Me: Theodore, you are the silliest boy in the whole world.

Theodore: Nope! You are the silliest Her. You walked around looking for a backpack when you were wearing it. 

81. Theodore: Can I watch "Go, Dog, Go?"

Me: Yes, just let me figure out Mom and Dad's TV. I'm not great with other people's TVs.

After I got it playing for him...

Theodore: See, I told you that you are good with other people's TVs.

82. Theodore and I go up to Sandy once a week to walk with my friend Emily, while Shulamith is in class. Last week, as we drove by Arctic Circle on 72nd and State (which we literally passed by every day when we lived in our beloved Angel House and not in the Bluffdale wilderness). 

Theodore: It's been so long since we went there (pointing at Arctic Circle).

Me: Do you remember when we used to go there for ice cream?

Theodore: Yes, it was when I was 3. But then I changed 4, and I still like ice cream.

83. For some reason, Theodore is currently mad at all his friends but one,

Theodore: Reuben is not my friend anymore. Matthew is not my friend. And I'm mad at Ellis too, Evelyn is my only friend.

84. Theodore wasn't thrilled with soccer in the fall, but his mom convinced him to give it another try this spring. He LOVES it! Today, at his second game of the season, he made six goals!

Theodore: Mom! My team is winning because of me!

85. Theodore: I'm gonna save my money till I have $1,000. Then I could buy everything I want!

86. Shulamith pays her kids $5.00/week for cleaning their rooms. Yesterday she went into Theodore's room and found him taking toys out of his basket, one at a time, and throwing them on the floor. 

Shulamith: What are you doing?

Theodore: I'm making my room really messy so then you have to pay me $6.00 to clean it.

87. Last week, Shulamith and I were at the park with Theodore. I left them there to drive to a soda shop and grab us some Diet Cokes. While I was gone, Theodore came over to Shulamith and said:

Theodore: Oh, you're still here. I saw the van drive away, and I thought you guys had left.

Shulamith: Did you think we would leave you here all by yourself?

Theodore: I knew you'd come back and get me.

88. Recently, Shulamith, Mathew, and their kids had family pictures taken in the mountains with Matt's extended family. Later, Theodore remarked:

Theodore: Mom, Her forgot to come to the mountains and take pictures with us! (Haha, I don't think I was invited.)

89. We were at Chick-fil-A this week, in separate cars because I had to go back to school. When we left, I couldn't find my car because I can never find my car. This is nothing new; I spend hours roaming around parking lots searching for my car. It's fine. I'm getting steps. As Shulamith circled the parking lot to pull away, Theodore saw me wandering around:

Theodore: Mom, you should have driven Her to find her car, so she didn't get lost. Or Her should take a picture of where her car is.

90. Theodore: Her, would you be happier if you had kids.

Me: Well I do have kids. They're just older than you.

Theodore: No, I mean if you had REAL kids like in your house?

(Well, actually, Theodore, I would be, Theodore.)

91. Theodore: This is where I roll myself! (as he log rolled down every ramp in every Las Vegas casino). 

92. Theodore's first day of kindergarten was today. When he woke up, he wasn't sure he would go.

Theodore: I don't think I'll go to school today.

Shulamith: Oh I think you will. You will have lots of fun there, and Kennedy will take good care of you on the bus.

Theodore (to Kennedy): Will you take good care of me?

Kennedy: Of course I will.

93. Me: Theodore, what are you gonna be for Halloween?

Theodore: It's a wolf. It can scare one-year-olds or zero. So we can't let Jane see it.

94. Shulamith and Matt are out tonight on a much-deserved date night. 

Theodore: I'm so happy that Her gets to be here with us today.

95. Theodore is playing soccer this year, and he's doing really well. After making a goal, the coach took him out to rotate other players into the game.

Theodore: I think the reason the coach took me out is that I'm so good, so he wants to let other kids play so they can get good too. (He's not wrong.)

96. Out of the blue the other day, Theodore was talking to Shulamith.

Theodore: Mom, I love Her almost as much as I love you.

Shulamith: Oh, that is so nice.

Theodore: I just really love her. 

97. Theodore (to Shulamith): You are nice because you let me be unbuckled. Her is nice because she lets me have lots of candy. 

(For the record, Shulamith lets her kids unbuckle and move freely around the car, as soon as they have turned into our neighborhood housing development. I wouldn't do that with my kids or anyone's kids. They're in a moving vehicle, they're buckled. )

98. Swen was sleeping at my house one night last week.

Theodore: Is Her keeping Swen?

Shulamith: Until tomorrow, yes.

Theodore: Yes!!

99. I just got Theodore from the bus stop after his half day in kindergarten.

Me: Theodore, where did get that full-size Hershey's bar?!

Theodore: I got it for being really good. There were three girls and one boy.

100. 99. Theodore (after a day of kindergarten): I made another friend today at school. Now I have 55.

101. I took Theodore to Mod Pizza. When Shulamith is there with us, she shares a pizza with Theodore, but I prefer white sauce and many toppings, so I just got Theodore his own mini.

Theodore (to Shulamith later): Her got me my very own pizza. Not a big one. Just the right size for me. Half pepperoni and half sausage. 

102. Theodore (in the bathtub): Mom, my penis got very small from the water.

102. Theodore: Mom, Aaron always falls asleep on the bus coming home. It's because he's Spanish.

Shulamith: No, I don't think it's because he's Spanish; I think it's probably because he's tired.

Theodore: No, Mom. Really. It's because he's Spanish.

103. Shulamith and I were in the mall with Theodore the other day. Shulamith asked him if he wanted to say hi to Santa.

Theodore: No, but can you go tell him your kid wants an RC car?

Kennedy Says - Part 5

 

72. Kennedy opened a fortune cookie that said an admirer was thinking about her.

Kennedy: I don't have just one admirer. Three people have crushes on me.

73. Kennedy: I think I'm the smallest first grader of all time. But that's okay. It's just how I was made.

74. Kennedy (as she was tucked into bed last night): I'm just so excited for our new house, and I'm so glad I came to earth, and I'm in this family.

75. We celebrated Amanda's birthday last night, with her favorite: chocolate cake AND chocolate ice cream.

Kennedy: Does Her have any normal ice cream, like vanilla?

76. Kennedy continues to be by far the smallest in her class and probably in the entire 1st grade. She is perfectly healthy, just petite. 

Kennedy: Some boys were teasing me. They said I'm so small they could pick me up and use me as a hockey stick. 

Shulamith: How did that make you feel?

Kennedy: Sad. I don't want them to use me as a hockey stick.

Shulamith: Well, they won't. They were just teasing you.

Kennedy: I know. They probably couldn't even lift me.

77. At Kennedy's school, (like all elementary schools), there is a program that offers extrinsic rewards to students for good behavior. They earn points, and then they can choose what they want to spend them on. One choice that costs 25 points is to eat lunch with the teacher.

Kennedy: Why would anyone want to do that? It's so dumb. You just eat your lunch, but your teacher is there, so you don't get to talk to your friends. I can't believe so many kids chose that one.

78. Kennedy tends to be a bit of a perfectionist, something I understand all too well. So this incident made me (and my mom) laugh out loud. Kennedy has soccer practice on Wednesdays at 5:00 p.m. But last week, Shulamith and I (and Seth and Isaiah) had tickets to a Jazz game, our first in-person game since before COVID. Matt is never home from work by 5:00, so Shulamith told Kennedy she would miss her practice just this one week.

Shulamith: I'm going to be gone that night at a Jazz game, so you can miss this one practice. It's okay.

Kennedy (melting into sobs): Fine. I guess I'll just never get good at soccer.

(In the end, Kennedy was so distraught that Shulamith asked the kids' grandma if she could take Kennedy to her practice, and she did. Whew.)

79. Kennedy has played soccer this season and worked so hard! Her last game was yesterday, and she so badly wanted to score a goal.

Kennedy: I just need some courage today.

(She must have found that courage because she scored not one, not two, but THREE goals in her final game.)

80. Kennedy's dance recital was also yesterday. Beforehand, Shulamith was showing her videos of past recitals when she was younger, and in one, she was searching for the 'X' on the floor, where she was supposed to stand.

Shulamith: When you were little, you always worried so much about finding your 'X."

Kennedy: I still do! It's very important to me.

81. Kennedy is a true Webster girl and loves fashion and cute clothes. She also love surprises. Recently, Shulamith bought her some shorts and just left them out on her bed. She was thrilled. She told Shulamith how much she loves "surprise clothes." So the next week, I got her a new dress and left it on her bed. Later, she talked to Shulamith about it.

Kennedy: Her picks out the best surprise clothes. You should only buy me clothes when Her is with you.

82. Shulamith was jumping on the trampoline with Kennedy.

Kennedy: Mom, you are forgetting the most important part - pointing your toes!

83. Shulamith: Do you think maybe you should do something else now; you've been watching you phone for quite awhile?

Kennedy: Why?

Shulamith: Because it's not good for your brain to be watching a screen all day.

Kennedy: No, It's find. I still know stuff.

83. Swen is a bit obsessed these days with washing machines. Talks about them almost constantly.

Kennedy: Talking about washing machines all the time is actually a lot weirder than you think.

84. We took all three kids school shopping with money Great-Grandma sent for school clothes.

Me: You're gonna be the best dressed kids at Mountain Point Elementary.

Swen: Nope. We won't. We will be well dressed. But we won't be the "best" dressed kids.

Kennedy: Yeah. We are just a middle family.

85. Shulamith: I really shouldn't have to clean your room for you when you are the one who made the mess.

Kennedy: Moms are always servants.

86. Kennedy has been playing soccer this fall. She enjoys the social part, talking to all the other girls, but unlike dance and gymnastics, she doesn't exactly excel at soccer.

Kennedy: I don't like being crowded in that big group of girls running after the ball, so I just stay on the outside.

87. Speaking of gymnastics, Kennedy is getting stronger and better all the time. In her current class, she is ahead of the other girls, who have just started, so the coach often asks her to demonstrate the skill for them.

Me: Do you like it when your coach asks you to demonstrate for the other girls?

Kennedy: Actually, that's my favorite part.

88. Because we have several of us with mental health issues, we talk a a lot about brain chemistry. Swen knows that he has ADHD, which means his brain deals with things a bit differently than is typical.

Kennedy: Swen, I don't think your brain is weird; I just think you're weird.

89. Kennedy: Let's go to Seagull Book!

Shulamith: We can't. It's closed on Sunday.

Kennedy: But it's ABOUT Sunday.

(Note: Seagull Book is a bookstore here in Utah that sells church books, paintings, etc.)ome

90. Swen: Someday, when Dad is rich, maybe he can buy my own laundromat. 

Kennedy: Swen, Dad will never, ever be rich.

Moving sucks, but free food helps!

"If you want to know where the Websters live, stand on the corner and wait for the moving truck to come by and follow it." This is a direct quote from a long-time friend of my original family, meant to be humorous with no offense intended, and none was taken. We did move a lot. I've speculated that this might be because my mom missed her true calling as an interior design artist. Which she definitely did. Guys, I'm not even kidding. I grew up in a house, well 21 houses to be exact, all of which looked like they belonged in a Better Homes and Gardens magazine, and her current house still looks like that. So I wonder if once she arranged the furniture in as many different configurations as possible, then decorated perfectly around each new arrangement, she wanted to move, so she could begin the creative process all over? Definitely possible.

I inherited neither her incredible talent for home design, nor her zest for moving. I couldn't decorate my way out of a paper bag, and my house always looks somewhat "vacant?" Also, I hate moving! So much. So I don't do it, unless it's absolutely necessary, like those times we've relocated to an entirely different state.

Until now. We are in the process of moving from our current home in Sandy to a new house in Bluffdale, about 10 miles south. How's it going, you ask? Ugh! I can't think of a single thing I enjoy about this process. It is so hard and overwhelming. I'm taking a break this afternoon to blog; this is for the benefit of my sanity and my family's well-being. But Seth is going with me to take yet another load this evening.

Because our new home is literally "new," there are extra tasks, beyond getting every last item from one house to the other. For example, our beautiful kitchen backsplash needs to be sealed, as does the floor of the garage and the driveway. Amanda, whose skillset never ceases to amaze me, is handling both those projects. Also, I had to meet with a guy to discuss window treatments. Really, though. Picture that in your mind. "Do you prefer the almond cream or the coconut sand?" Honestly, they look exactly the same. "Do you want blackout blinds or filter?" I don't have the slightest idea. "Do you want fabric-covered valances or the modern uncovered look?" Okay, shoot me now!!!

Meanwhile, Shulamith and I make multiple trips back and forth daily, hauling vans full of crap. Why do we have so much stuff? I am the polar opposite of a hoarder, and yet you should see the pile of junk out on the road in front of our house. Fortunately, the city's biannual curbside pickup is this week! 

Sorry if I sound like I'm whining. I am. I'm tired of all of it, truth be told, both the physical effort required and the many mental chores like transferring utilities, getting the mailbox key, joining the HOA, buying a water softener, ordering a fence, dealing with contractors who are supposed to be finishing our basement but who are now a full week late in starting, and did I mention those dang window treatments?

However, when life begins to feel impossible, take heart. There is always food. And sometimes it's free. Trust me; nothing tastes better than free food. The universe wrapped its arms around me this past week with two such opportunities. After closing all summer for an extensive remodel, the Chick-fil-A where Seth works had its grand reopening Thursday, and on Tuesday, they gave free meals to employees' families. Then Saturday, Nothing Bundt Cakes opened a new location in Taylorsville and offered customers free confetti bundtlets! So Tuesday, Shulamith, Isaiah, and I got free Chick-fil-A meals (and we didn't even have to dress like cows), and Saturday, I got a yummy bundt cake.

It's been a long process, and we still have tons left to do. I'm exhausted almost all the time, and moving totally sucks, but free food most definitely helps.

Buying stuff. Walking more. Playing Dominion. Staying sane!

I think it's safe to say that for every one of us, COVID-19, aka the coronavirus, has affected us in ways we never thought possible, its impact permeating nearly every corner of our lives.To those who have lost friends or family members to this wretched virus, my heart breaks for you. I can't even imagine. To those of you who fight daily on the frontlines, healing and caring for the sick, searching for the key to an effective vaccine, delivering our mail, bringing us our groceries: Respect!

As you risk your own health to go to work each day, the rest of us stay at home, quarantined, sheltering in place. We isolate ourselves from every opportunity to contract this virus. And we complain a lot. It's hard. We are inconvenienced. But we are the lucky ones. And we are grateful to you who must go to work, humbly and profoundly grateful.

As I was grading papers and answering emails today, a student inquired about my well-being. This happens fairly often now that all my classes have shifted online. Students ask me how I'm doing; they hope I'm safe and well. It's touching really, because I think they mean it. I think they are genuinely concerned. We spent two-thirds of the semester together, and then suddenly no more. Now we communicate only remotely. This student's question caused me to reflect more deeply on my own unique set of circumstances:

"What are you doing to stay sane?" she wanted to know.

Hmmm? Well, some would argue that, even under normal circumstances, my sanity is questionable. Anxiety as bad as mine most definitely qualifies as mental illness. That said, I remain functional most of the time. I've even had people tell me they can't believe I suffer from debilitating anxiety because I always seem so "together." Which is hilarious. They should have stopped by at, say, 3:00 a.m. this past Sunday morning when I was up pacing the floor, deep breathing (just to make sure I could), taking my temperature (97.4), stressing over a potential collapse of the housing market, along with being overwhelmed with fear that a person very important in my life doesn't like me anymore.

Yep, it was just that awesome. You can be grateful for social distancing. You can stay away from this madness. 

My student's question led me to a few interesting insights, though, so I'm glad she asked. What am I doing to stay sane?

Buying stuff. Not a lot of stuff, but a little stuff. Like I bought a new Kortni Jeane bathing suit to give myself hope that we will get to go swimming this summer. And I bought some new makeup. I also bought two new dresses from a wicked sale at Old Navy, both for just $24. They provide hope that one day, I'll have reason to wear a dress again. Here's one:

Walking more. Yes, I always walk. I love to walk. Everyone who knows me, knows that. It's the best way to reduce anxiety since I choose not to use medication. It's good for both brain and body. I honestly can't think of a single negative consequence from walking. These days, though, with so much time spent indoors, it's way harder to get my daily 10,000 steps. Back in the day (say, 2.5 months ago), if I did one dedicated walk of 4,000 steps and then just went through my regular routine, by the end of that day, I'd have my 10,000. Now I'm lucky to reach 6,000 with just that one dedicated walk, which means that in an entire day at home, I'm only walking around 2,000 steps. Yikes!

I guess sitting in my bed reading or blogging or doing online school, and sitting in my recliner binging Netflix make for a horribly sedentary lifestyle. Not good! I decided early on in this quarantine that there is no reason for me not to meet my goal of 10,000 daily steps. Seriously, what else do I have to do? My appointment calendar is blank. My part time job is completely online. To accomplish this, I need two substantive dedicated walks daily, one in the morning and one in the afternoon or evening. I try to do a bit of school work right when I wake up and then get out for my first walk. Sometimes Emily is able to go with me, she and her two babies in the double stroller six feet to the side of me. Other times I go alone. Then later in the day, Seth and I do my second walk.

Playing Dominion. Once upon a time, Isaiah got all into this board game called Dominion. It involves hundreds of cards, in Isaiah's case, 10 boxes full! You can play the game with just a basic set, but over the years, he has bought all these expansion packs, until now it looks like this:

Isaiah taught Eli to play, and later Mathew, and eventually even Seth. This was years ago. I never learned to play; it looked way too complicated with all those cards. My favorite Dominion story is when Seth was barely 11 years old and went all by himself to compete in a Dominion tournament at a game store in Sugar House and placed 3rd! Would you like to read about it and see his adorable winning picture? Isaiah didn't play Dominion the whole time Seth was gone on his mission, but once he came home, this happened:

Every day. Over and over, this happened. Until finally, Seth said, "Mom, you wanna play? You wanna learn the game?" Pretty sure he expected me to decline, but you know, here I am quarantined, stuck in my house almost all the time, so I figured why not learn this game? Turned out to be a great decision. Not only do I get to spend quality time with three of my favorite guys in the whole world, but it's actually a super fun game. I like it better each time I play. Of course, I never win (well, I actually won once, but it was all luck). Isaiah and Seth are expert strategists and seem to know every single one of the dozens of cards, what each does, and how they work together for the most powerful effect. Me? I just buy cards and then see what happens.

My kind student asked me, "What are you doing to stay sane?"

My best. I'm doing my best.

And the things that seem to help are buying stuff, walking more, and playing Dominion.